The month until Hogswatch Eve had passed in no time. Many of my acquaintances, like Death and the Patrician, had asked me to come to Hogswatch Dinner. But I didn't want to cancel the invitation from Unseen University. So I had decided to visit the people during the day and give presents to them. After all, I had managed to get a suitable present to everyone of my acquaintances.
I had found a couple of Roundworld coins from my former German living place when I had been looking my clothes and bags over. I decided to get them manufactured to a chain. This might be a nice present for Lord Havelock Vetinari.
I wanted to give a new box for change to Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler to thank him for the hint where I could find a jeweller to make me the chain for Lord Havelock Vetinari. He had given me the address willingly even though he would cut his own throat doing so, as he had pointed out. He was using this sentence like other people were saying "Good Morning" or "Good Night".
I had heard that the tea-set of Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite had been broken so I wanted to give her a new one.
I had bought a great supply of armour polish for Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson.
I had made some kind of pastry for Sergeant Detritus. They were a couple of big pancakes made of ash, gravel, hackled coal and a lot of water.
Some more baked goods I had made for Foul Ole Ron and the other members of the Canting Crew. But unlike the pancakes for Detritus I had made it with almonds so it would be much more flavoursome. In addition, I had some sandwiches, a bottle of wine and a meat-and-potato-pie for them.
The Librarian was about to get a big bag of peanuts and a couple of new quills.
The present for Death I had found on the day before Hogswatch Night. As far as I remembered, the Grim Reaper had a picture on his desk showing his deceased adopted daughter Ysabell and her late husband Mortimer with their daughter and Death's grand-daughter Susan Sto Helit. It was a good idea to me to give him a new frame for the picture. And of course, I hadn't forgotten to buy a bag of carrots for Death's horse Binky and to make another tobacco-pouch for his manservant Albert.
In the evening before Hogswatch Night I packed the parcels into my dragonskin bag. The wizard and I went early to sleep because I had to get up early. After all, I had a great deal to do.
As soon as the day broke, I carefully rose so I wouldn't wake up Rincewind and crept quietly into the bathroom. I washed myself and put my boots and my best winter's dress on. It was a long dress made of ruby coloured and tightly woven cloth. It came with a hip-long black cape which was edged in thick strands of black chenille fringe. The cape itself was embroidered with small ruby roses.
When I was coming out of the bathroom, I saw the wizard sitting upright in bed.
"Sorry, Dear, I didn't want to wake you up," I said quietly and sat onto the edge of the bed. Rincewind caressed my cheek and my braid and tenderly kissed my lips.
"No harm done, my Dear. Are you coming to Unseen University?" he asked and took my hand, "Dinner will be served at Midnight." I promised to be there on time, caressed his hand and kissed him again before I left.
Fresh snowfall made Ankh-Morpork sparkle. It crunched quietly beneath my boots. The sparkle covered the dirt and filth of the city, making the scenery look almost peaceful.
The first one for me to see was Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler. I assumed that he might be afoot already, and I was right. When I entered Sator Square, the place he used as his office, I could hear him.
"Morning, Mister Dibbler," I said. Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler smiled when he saw me.
"Ah, good morning to you, Miss Meta," he said, "How are you on this bright winter's morning?"
"I'm fine, Mister Dibbler, thank you so very much." I searched my bag and pulled out his present. The vendor looked at it curiously.
"What's this?"
"I wanted to thank you once again for mentioning the jeweller," I said, handing him the parcel, "Happy Hogswatch to you, Mister Dibbler."
The salesman turned the parcel before he opened it. He uttered a surprised "Oh!" and looked at me.
"You shouldn't have done that, Miss. It was my pleasure to be of service to you," he said, "Even if I cut my own throat doing so, as you might know."
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler swallowed hard. He turned around and went to the next fruit selling booth. He had a short and rather loud discussion with the other vendor. Then he returned with a small bag of apples and oranges in his hand.
"Here you are, Miss," he said, "I've got a little something for you. These are the best goods from that cut-throat over there, far from the usual stuff." He gave me a conspiratorial wink.
"Thank you so very much, Mister Dibbler," I said, smiling.
"It's my Hogswatch present for you, Miss," Dibbler said again, "Even if I cut my own throat doing so."
Next, I went to the Ankh-Morpork City Watch's head quarter at Pseudopolis Yard. Due to this early hour, the only ones I met there were Commander Samuel Vimes, Captain Carrot, Sergeant Detritus and, of course, Corporal Nobby Nobbs.
"Good day, gentlemen," I greeted.
"Miss!" Nobby exclaimed and jumped up, "What a pleasure to see you!" Captain Carrot turned to pull up a chair for me. But Nobby had been faster. He had adjusted the chair and taken off his helmet before Captain Carrot could move a limp.
"How are you, Miss?" he asked, "I hope you're doing well so far?"
"Thank you, Nobby, I can't complain."
"Or is anyone annoying you in any way?" The short watchman knit his brows. I assured him that everything was fine.
"Could we offer you something? Would you like a cup of tea, maybe?" asked Captain Carrot. I nodded. My only breakfast had been an apple so far. A few minutes later Nobby had put a cup of tea and some sandwiches in front of me.
"What brings you here so early, Miss?" asked Samuel Vimes. I finished my tea and started searching my bag.
"Unfortunately, I can't come to your Hogswatch Dinner, Commander Vimes," I said and handed the parcels to the City Watch, "So I wanted to give a present to you and the other watchmen. And I've got one for your honourable wife, too, of course."
During the next quarter of hour, the only sound in the room was the soft rustling from the wrapping paper, followed by gasping.
A deep rumble was coming from Detritus when he cleared his throat.
"Dat was not necessary," he managed to say, "Much trouble was, Miss."
"It wasn't trouble to me, Detritus," I replied, "Ankh-Morpork has given me a very kind and warm welcome, and I'm more than glad to return the favour." I looked at the clock and got ready to leave again.
"Now, wait a minute!" Nobby took hold of my arm and made me sit down again.
"You can't leave just like that," he said, pulled his knapsack from a corner and started rummaging it, "It's Hogswatch Night after all. So you can't go without getting something, too."
"He be right," Detritus said. The huge troll turned his back on me. I just could wait for the things to come, and when I left, my bag contained a golden watch from Nobby's knapsack, two diamond teeth from Detritus and a former police identification disc Commander Vimes had given me. The descended Acting-Constable Cuddy had owned it once. The Commander shook hands with me and promised to hand the other parcels to the absent watchmen.
Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson seemed to be a bit ashamed of the fact that he didn't have anything for me. He promised to take care of my security, either alone or together with Nobby Nobbs.
Having left the City watch's head quarter, I went to see Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite who was delighted to see me. She insisted to serve a little snack, using the new tea-set. While I was eating she was telling me the news from the city, everything under "the pledge of secrecy", of course. But here in Ankh-Morpork this meant less than nothing. When Mrs Cosmopilite heard something, she might be one of the last persons to hear.
Noon had passed when I left Mrs Cosmopilite and went towards the house of the Assassins' Guild. I was making haste because I wanted to go to some places far from each other. As there were the Patrician's Palace and the Misbegot Bridge, the home of the Canting Crew.
"HELLO," someone said suddenly next to me. I winced and turned around. Next to me, a dark long cloak appeared.
"Oh, hello, Death," I said.
"HOW ARE YOU?"
"I'm fine, thank you. But I'm in a rush right now."
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
I explained to him about my Hogswatch Dinner invitation from Unseen University.
"I'm on my way to give Hogswatch presents to the people I've come to know in town. Right now, I'm going to see Lord Downey and the Patrician."
"I CAN GIVE YOU A RIDE, IF YOU LIKE." I considered Death's offer and agreed.
Death led me through a couple of street to his horse Binky. The prettiest and magnificent steed I ever had seen was snow-white, with big, friendly looking eyes and a proud posture. On his back sat a small black creature I took for a bird at first. But then I saw it was the small skeleton of a rat, dressed in a black cloak, just like Death himself, and was carrying a small scythe, too. The little creature straightened up and squeaked.
"Oh! Who's that?" I wondered.
"THIS IS THE DEATH OF RATS," the Grim Reaper said. The small skeleton extended a bony paw I carefully took and shook. Then I looked at Death and said, "I always thought you'd take care of every death yourself?"
"WELL, EVEN I HAVE TO DELEGATE SOMETIMES," Death said. The Death of Rats nodded, uttering another insistent "SQUEAK". The Grim Reaper helped me climbing onto Binky. I held onto the mane, and Binky went forward. As fast as the wind we reached the Assassins' Guild's house. Death helped me down and told me he'd wait for me.
The president of the Assassins' Guild served me a cup of tea and gave me a small crossbow with ammunition.
"Human Life is a precious thing. It needs to be protected," Lord Downey pointed out. I didn't doubt this. If anyone would know about a life's value of in Ankh-Morpork, it would be an assassin.
The patrician gave me a thin smile when he saw my present. Yet I wasn't disappointed. Lord Vetinari was a cool-minded and straightforward pragmatist for all I knew so I didn't expect further reaction. He was giving me the honour of a light snack and conversation.
Finally, I went to see the Canting Crew. I could hear them from afar. It wasn't only because of Coffin Henry but because of the chant. Four different voices tried to find a common melody and lyrics. But Henry's chesty cough and words like "Bugrit!" and "Millennium Hand and Shrimp", given by Foul Ole Ron, interfered a bit.
The beggars were pleased to see me and the food parcel. Henry even tried very hard not to cough in front of me.
At last, I asked Death to bring me to Unseen University. Binky landed smoothly in front of the gate. I slipped down from his back and raised my sight to face Death.
"Thank you, Death."
"DON'T MENTION IT. I HOPE YOU'LL HAVE A HAPPY HOGSWATCH."
"So do I." I searched my bag for the parcels for Death, Binky and Albert. Then I looked at the small rat skeleton.
"I'm afraid I don't have anything for you now," I said, "I mean, I didn't know that I would meet you." The Death of Rats shrugged, squeaked and waved a paw. He looked at the carrots for Binky and twitched his whiskers.
The Grim Reaper turned the parcels and seemed to be loss for words. Then he straightened his back and put his hand on my shoulder.
"THANK YOU, BARBARA META," he said.
"You're very welcome, Death," I said, "I wouldn't have known what to do without your help." Carefully, I lifted my hand and looked at Death's horse.
"May I?" I asked. The horse snorted, snuggled its muzzle against my palm and allowed me to caress it.
The Grim Reaper gave me a nod, pulled Binky's reins and rode away. After a few steps Binky's hooves lifted from the ground. Horse and horseman rode towards the sky. I watched them disappear between the clouds when I felt two hands on my shoulders and turned around. Rincewind stood in front of me, smiling broadly.
"Hello," he said. I looked at him and noticed a change in him. To celebrate Hogswatch, Rincewind had washed his hair and even had combed his beard.
"I hope I'm on time," I said, smiling. The wizard nodded. I looked into his blue eyes, and suddenly a thought crossed my mind. I had managed to make a present to each of my acquaintances or friends – with only one exception. A blush of shame crept into my face.
"What is it?" asked the wizard and knit his brows. Hesitating, I told him and bowed my head. I expected Rincewind to rant and rave or to be sulky about this. He had always been like that when I had forgotten about something.
Yet, no such thing happened. The wizard put his index finger underneath my chin and lifted it up so I had to look at him. He gave me tender yet slightly strange kiss.
"You don't bother?" I wondered. Knowingly, the wizard smiled and kissed me again.
"Let's go inside," he said, "Otherwise, we might get no seat at the table." I gave him a disbelieving glance which made him grin.
"You'll see," he added, "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Rincewind was right. I remembered the breakfast and the teatime I had spent in Unseen University, but these meals couldn't hold a candle to the Hogswatch Dinner at all.
This dinner was much richer than all the ones before. Altogether, there were seven courses, coffee not included. There were dishes like differently prepared eggs, fruits, fish, roasted meat, different kind of cakes and puddings.
The wizards went around the table to help themselves more than once from every dish. But every wizard had his own tempo to eat. The Dean, e. g., gobbled down five different dishes within half an hour. Ridcully, however, solely attended to the fish dishes during the same time. I myself took a bite of every dish which appealed to me. Given the amount of food, that was quite a lot.
During each course, the wizards got up to take a small stroll or to make enough room for the next course. Shortly before dessert was served, Rincewind led me into a corner.
"Say, what do you think about you and me settling up a bit?" he asked sotto voce.
"You're talking about leaving right here and now? Why?"
"I was thinking about taking some dessert and something to drink and going to your place." Rincewind smiled, and I gave the other wizards a glance. They were pacing the room in long strides and didn't seem to notice us.
"I think, they seem to be quite busy right with themselves," Rincewind said as his gaze followed mine, "I really doubt that they might find us gone." He gave me a smile which I couldn't help returning.
"I stand corrected," I said. We went into the kitchen to fetch some pudding and pie and a bottle of wine. Then we went to my house.
The wizard and I took our time with the dessert. We ate and drank with pleasure, and all the time I could feel a change. There was something in Rincewind's eyes. They were shining almost as bright as sapphires.
Suddenly, he stood up, bent across the table and kissed me. This kiss revealed the most profound change. It was much more tender and intensive then before. The touch of his lips made me shiver.
"You know, it's not that bad that you don't have a present for me," whispered the wizard and sat down next to me.
"It really doesn't bother you, does it? I mean, it's not okay that you're the only one I didn't buy a present for."
"You don't have to give much to make me a happy man, Barbara," was the mysterious reply, "Two little words would do."
I looked at him in complete lack of comprehension. Smiling, the wizard reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver chain with a little black shimmering ball attached to it. It seemed to be made of glass. Yet it felt solid as metal when I touched it.
"This is beautiful," I said, "What is it?"
"A ball of denatured Octiron," the wizard explained, "Octiron is a kind of magic metal." I eyed the little ball in scepticism and shyness.
"You know, there is still a lot of shimmer in denatured Octiron, but no magic anymore. So you can wear this chain without care. It's not like your dress might run away suddenly." Rincewind laughed.
"Oh me, oh my... I... I can't... Rincewind, I can't accept this." I looked at the wizard and wanted to give it back to him. But he put it back into my palm and closed my hand.
"Why, of course you can," he said calmly.
"It's much too valuable for me to wear it," I answered him back. But I sounded less secure.
"No, it's not, and I ask you to accept it as a token of my esteem. I want you to wear it as a present for our... what's the word..." Rincewind knit his brows, thinking hard.
"An engagement present," he finished.
I stared at the wizard who took a deep breath, kissed me and put his hands onto my shoulders. His long fingers were shaking slightly. He was nervous and thoughtful all the same. I had never seen him like that before.
"I have to ask you something very important, Miss Barbara. Or I have to tell you something important, that's more like it," he said, "I've been thinking about it for some time, and I have come to the conclusion that... er..." He took a deep breath again before he said, "I have fallen in love with you, Miss Barbara Meta. I love you."
This sentence came out like a cork. Then the words were flowing out of his mouth.
"I love you for taking me the way I am, with all of my failures. I love you for making me feel good when I smell you first in the morning. I love you for trusting in me. I love you for improving my magic. I love you for giving me goose-pimples with every kiss. I love you for never laughing or sneering at me. And I love you for making me feel needed without feeling pushed," the wizard said without drawing one single breath.
I was astonished. This was the first time he had said so much at once. I wanted to say something when the tall wizard raised his hand. He didn't seem to have finished.
"I always want to be with you," Rincewind continued quietly and looked at me, "Barbara, you're just the... the most wonderful woman with... with a ticklish neck I know. I don't want to loose you again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Barbara." He fell silent for a moment and added, "If you can take a notorious coward like me, that is."
Sometimes, words are not enough to make feelings clear. This was one of those moments. I pulled the wizard tighter towards me and gave him a long and very tender kiss.
"You know, you're a really special guy," I whispered. Rincewind gave me tender grin and caressed my bare back.
After a million years or so full of tender kisses, we had decided to talk on in a more comfortable place. So we had taken off our clothes, very slowly and bit by bit of course. Sometimes, Rincewind had hesitated for one or two seconds. Just like the moment when he had taken off even his hat. It hung on the bedpost at the front end of the bed.
The few candles which had lit the room had gone out long ago. The wizard had snuggled up close to my belly. It was the first time I felt him that close to me.
"Well, I have been told that several times before," he whispered back, "But no one had put it in such a nice way you did." I put my hands into his soft and smooth auburn hair, pulled him near and kissed his forehead, the cheeks, the tip of his nose and his lips.
Finally, the first morning of the New Year started. Rincewind and I had spent almost 4 hours in bed. We had shared tenderness in many ways except of one.
Of course, sex was nothing new to me, and I supposed that Rincewind might not be a dark horse concerning this, too. But we didn't feel like hurry in that point. We felt that sex could wait. Right here and now, the only important thing to us was to feel each other's presence and to caress each other. I was astonished about how tenderly Rincewind was able to be.
"Do you have an idea already about how this will work?" I suddenly wondered. Of course, I didn't intend to change the mood. Yet I couldn't help wondering. Ridcully hadn't been too pleased about Rincewind telling him to have feelings for me. I didn't dare to think about what he might say about this step? This would take us really close to a marriage.
"Not yet," Rincewind answered and caressed my hair, "But I think we have lots of time to enjoy this and find a useful solution, don't we?"
I looked into his blue eyes and nodded. Rincewind was right. Besides, he had taken good care of me. And he had always known what he had been talking about. So I couldn't see why he should make a change right now.