Hi,there! It's the second chapter! Thanks for Chico-san who pointed about my ambiguous sentences. I'll try my best to write better. Please enjoy! Review it when you found something weird,funny or unbelievable. Lol..

Tezuka brought Fuji home. He was panicked,Fuji's face was so cold. When they arrived ath Fuji's home,Fuji's mother assured him that Fuji was okay. Tezuka felt guilty for his condition. Fuji was sick for next two days but he was grounded so Tezuka couldn't meet him until the new year was coming.

The New year came by, Fuji once again tried to confess. He didn't want to surrender until he found Tezuka's answer. He asked Tezuka to go to temple and watch sunrise together.

When the first sunrise arose, he told Tezuka how he felt toward the stoic man.

Tezuka knew Fuji's feeling toward him for a while now. But he couldn't muster a will to reciprocal it. It was just wrong. They were brothers. They couldn't be more than that. What would their mother said,it's wrong. "I'm faltered but I'm sorry. I can't accept your feeling."

"Bu..but why?"

"You are a little brother to me,Fuji. Nothing more." Tezuka put his hand on Fuji's head and messed his hair. Tezuka hoped his words were enough to convince Fuji.

"Is there really no chance for me?" Fuji asked after a moment with a sad smile.

"Aa.. You'll find someone better than me. Still, it's too soon for you. Yet when you have a lover, you should introduce him to me. I need to make sure he is the right one for my brother." Tezuka said with an indistinct smile.

How could I find someone better when you are the best for me? Fuji thought. He felt his heart was stabbed by millions knife.

"Let's go home,Fuji. We still have to greet our family."

"Saa.. Mama and Yuta will come here to pray. I'll stay and wait for them."

"Okay. I'll wait and greet them first."

"NO! I mean,,no. It would be rude to your parents not coming home quickly. I heard Ayana-san complaining about your absence at home,Tezuka nii-chan. 'It was really lonely here after Kunimitsu enter high school' was Ayana-san saying. Really Tezuka nii-chan, it's rude to leave her alone, you know." Fuji chuckled.

Tezuka frown. "Hn.. I understand. I'll go first. Give your mother my best regards." He left Fuji alone among the crowded.

"Yeah,sure." Fuji's heart broke along with Tezuka's distance.

That year he didn't pay a new year visit to Tezuka's house as he usually did.

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Tezuka's seventeenth birthday was coming. His mother was overjoyed to make a sweetseventeen party for him. She arranged a small party at their house. She invited their family, Tezuka's friends and Fuji's family of course.

Fuji Yoshiko also giving some helping hands. His Syusuke was only thirteen and it was still a long time to reach seventeen for a leap year kid. So it was Fuji's job too to make sure the party went well.

Fuji and Tezuka felt awkward toward each other, especially Fuji. He had to act as if nothing happened and Tezuka couldn't be more oblivious. Fuji knew he was just a little brat in Tezuka's eyes but his feeling was true. He would wait and showed Tezuka that he was a fine man and they were made for each other.

The day before party was the busiest day ever. Both of their mother moved all around and making a long list to be checked. Fuji stayed at his room and looked at his blank book. He already finished his homework and read all of his history book.

Ayana-san's voice woke him from his daydreaming. It seemed that Ayana-san need to buy something with his mother. That meant Tezuka was left alone. It had been a long time since last Fuji met him so Fuji went to Tezuka's house.

His house was quiet as usual. Fuji opened the door and walked in. He greeted but heard no replies. It's odd,he thought. When he walked into the living room he heard grunts, one from Tezuka's and one from an unknown person.

He opened the door and was shocked by what he saw. Tezuka was kissing a man who he never saw before. They kissed like there was no tomorrow. Some of Tezuka's uniform's buttons were opened. Fuji gasped at them.

They separated and looked at Fuji, surprised.

"Who is this cheeky brats? He dare to disturb Oresama's time with Oresama's lover?" He gave Fuji an arrogant look.

"Fuji. Do you need something?" Tezuka asked while buttoning his uniform. His cheeks were flushed.

"N..no.. I just.. I thought that.. But I don't.. I think.. Excuse me." He closed the door and ran to his home.

He heard Tezuka's shouting but he was stopped by his lover. Fuji hoped that Tezuka would chased him and told him everything was okay. But he didn't.

How could he be so blind? Tezuka would never be his. He had a lover now, a lover who suited him more, who could accommodate Tezuka's need and want, who was as old as him, a mature man not a cheeky brat as Tezuka's lover remark. He never saw this come. He always thought that Tezuka would be his. When he kept his patient and did his best,someday Tezuka would be his.

He was like a fool waiting for Tezuka. Tezuka must had been laughing forever with his new boyfriend. He was so fed up and loathe himself for keeping his hope.

He chuckled, what a big moron he was. Fuji spent his day crying and trying to forget his sadness. It wasn't easy but he tried. His mother was worried sick about his son. Fuji was a strong child who can overcome his troubles without her help, he never needed her help ever. So when she saw his son cried till sleep, it broke her heart too.

Fuji came home late deliberately on Tezuka's birthday. He threw away Tezuka's birthday present. A silver necklace made by himself, he put all of his heart there. Then a thought washed over him. It was not Tezuka didn't see him as a suitable boyfriend. The truth was Tezuka didn't see him at all.

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Tezuka came over his house several times to make up with him like they did when they had fought but he always found new ways to avoid him. He was a fool twice and didn't want to repeat his mistake again. He learned more than enough,thank you.

They kept their distance till Tezuka graduated from his senior high school. Tezuka family once again threw a party for him.

Fuji was forced to attend the party. He couldn't say no when his beloved cactus and book were in danger. His mother threatened to burn them if he refused to attend.

"But I can't face him. When I see his face,my feeling will go rampant. I'm not ready."

His mother gave hime an understanding smile. "You'll never be ready in your life. When love struck on you,you were not ready. When the love broke you, you were not ready but time will make you stronger. When you have found another love,you will still not ready.."

"Mom.."

"You still not ready,yes but you will be more experienced. You will learn to trasure it more. We live only once. Honey,when you chose your choice just remember not to regret it later days. I'll wait downstairs." His mother put his cactus back to windowsill and his book on the table.

Fuji sighed and walked downstairs to his waiting mother.

"Thank you, mother." He hugged her.

"You are very welcome, darling."

Fuji and his mother arrived on time. Tezuka's grandfather was giving his speech to their families. His mother then joined Tezuka Ayana to prepare the food. Fuji sat on the farthes corner. He kept his eyes on the wall, staring at nothing.

Fuji kept avoiding Tezuka throughout the party. He was a coward, he knew it but it was not easy to pretend that everything was okay. That Tezuka didn't break his heart when he rejected his confession, that he broke it again when Tezuka found a lover without telling him. Finally they had finished their dinner, the guests were already going home and Fuji's mother was no where to be seen.

Fuji walked to the front door, ready to go home. His mother could go home when she was ready. It's not like their home was far into the forest. His mother was an adult for god's sake. She could go back by herself when she finished her business.

"Fuji."

As usual, he couldn't escape from Tezuka's sharp eyes.

"Tezuka nii-chan. Congratulation on your graduation!" Fuji faked a smile.

"You will go home now?"

"Un,I still have a test tomorrow. I need to do some summaries too." He lied.

"Stay."

"I don't think so-"

"Please? We need to talk."

Fuji relented. Tezuka walked him to his garden.

"I didn't see Yuta today. Where is he?"

"He is at his school's dorm. He will come home next week."

"Aa.. sou ka."

Fuji stood still when Tezuka sat on his patio.

"Fuji,please sit down."

"I think it's not.."

"I'll go study abroad."

"... I see. It's great. Where are you going?"

"Germany." Fuji clenched his fists. It's so far away from Japan.

"That's good. I wanna see the buildings there, they have great architecture and art sense. People can learn many things there. I know you are destined to be a great man."

"Thank you."

"When do you plan to go? Are you going to be alone there?"

"Next week. No,Atobe will be there too."

Hearing that name made Fuji cringed and blinking away his tears. When he thought he would have a normal conversation with Tezuka,that name shattered his confidence. He would never win Tezuka over that man.

"I see. That's great." Fuji communication skills seemed to shrink into that two sentences after hearing Tezuka's word.

"I'll send postcard and call regularly."

"I'm sure your mother will be happy."

"I'll call you too."

"Saa. Don't bother with me. I'm fine hearing through Ayana-san. It's very expensive to call from abroad."

"Fuji.."

"Is there anything else, Tezuka nii-chan? It's late and I have to finish my study. Sorry,Ja ne."

Fuji started to walk away when suddenly Tezuka hugged him. He placed one hand behind Fuji's head and one on his shoulder. A brotherly hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,Fuji."

"What is it? There is nothing wrong,really. It's fine. I'm happy for you, Tezuka nii-chan. Good luck." Fuji detached himself from Tezuka's embrace. They were separated by the length of his arm. He couldn't keep his composure any longer.

"Thank you,Fuji."

"Good bye." Giving the best smile he could. Fuji then walked out of Tezuka's house and his life.

Tezuka's depature gave Fuji some time to think. The distance between them made him realize that they would never meet again unless they put much effort to meet each other. That would be the last thing Tezuka would do. He was afraid of Fuji's feeling. He needed not to worry,Fuji would never make him uncomfortable by his feeling anymore.

Memories with Tezuka here would be his trasure but they also would be his past. He shouldn't cling on them forever. Someday,he would find his real soul mate just like what Tezuka wanted.

Fuji's mother official duty at Kanagawa finished when he graduated from his junior high school. Because of her job, his mother neeeded to move back to Chiba. Yuta stayed at his dorm which nearer to Chiba than their current house and his sister,Yumiko stayed at Chiba. He didn't see any importance to stay at Kanagawa, so when he graduated from junior high school he moved back to Chiba with his mom. Trying to start over his life there.

It's better this way,he thought.

Deep down his heart, he knew that all of them were lies and he was a bad liar.

Next chapter would be a reunion between them. Please look forward for it! ;)