In which JARVIS is starting to have grey cables and his creator learns that, sometimes, he should think before he speaks.
Three hours. It had taken three hours, once the euphoria and the stammering were over, once Tony had accepted to follow Asgard's traditions to avoid being denied by his parents-in-law, and once Loki accepted to wear the ring to the right finger, before they managed to take a decision that pleased the both of them about the wedding ceremony.
Had Tony not been in love with his Loki like he was, Tony could have asked himself if he hadn't taken a bad decision when he had (re)placed the ring to the (right) finger (of the right hand) of the prince. But, really, he was deeply in love with him. So he resignated himself despite the long, long argumentation.
They had started by asking each other when and where; but soon enough, they had moved to a much more contrariating topic. Tony had said with a snickering that he wanted Coulson to take care of the ceremony, and that he looked forward to see the look on the faces of his colleagues at the ceremony. Loki had raised an eyebrow, shaking his head and claiming that Frigga had to be the one responsible of marrying them. She was the Allmother, afterall, and the goddess of marriage too. It was only normal that she took care of the protocol.
After that, a long fight of glances and more or less logical arguments (« I can't just sacrifice a baby goat in public to please Asgard! PETA will kill me, Loki! » or « Your weddings are only lasting 'until Death do us appart'! Hel will be unbearable if she hears it! »), until they both accepted to mix the traditions of their Realms so that they could be satisfied with it. And, more important, so they could make everyone go insane.
(Tony was specially looking forward to see Steve's expression when they'd announce that they planned to have children. Loki, on the other hand, had to admit that he couldn't wait to see Odin's reaction when he'd ask him to walk down the alley with him.)
But the composition of the invitation itself had already been a much more complicated argument for the engineer.
Yes, they had to use the words « dear friends », even if they sent the invitation to Asgard and to the Avengers. Yes, they had to sign together, even if it sounded completely ridiculous. Yes, the aliens they were inviting on « Midgard » had to learn the basic rules before they could create a catastrophy with Russia or something. No, they couldn't list all of Loki's titles on just one invitation.
Loki himself hadn't been so open to concessions, he couldn't deny it.
No, Laufeyson and Odinson weren't words he would accept to hear or to read in this Tower for the centuries to come. Yes, it was necessary to insist that weapons would be forbidden on the day of the wedding -he refused to trust SHIELD (Tony had snapped back that 'Mephisto', whoever he was, didn't had a name to arrive with a basket of cookies and his best wishes of happiness to the couple, but Loki had pretended he didn't hear anything). And yes, he had to explain to his guests what the hell was an engineer or a scientist.
Finally, after the three long hours of argumentation that even JARVIS hadn't bothered to keep following to try calming the two lovebirds -who loved each other, surely, deep inside, somewhere, the AI decided for them, despite the threats of divorce that had already been shouted three times in the first half of hour-, they had prepared an acceptable pile of invitations, all translated in English, in Asgardian Runes, and in symbols that Tony hadn't tried to understand, but that Loki had insisted to trace with red ink. The texte was brief, sort of polite, and very direct.
« Dear Friends,
You are graciously invited to the wedding of Anthony Stark, warrior of Midgard, engineer/forger and scientist/alchemist, to Loki, from Asgard, sorcerer, God of Fire, Chaos, Lies, etc. The ceremony will take place on the 24th of July, at Stark Tower. It'll follow traditions of both Realms. Please take note that your weapons will be taken at the door. Confirm your presence as soon as possible by private messenger, e-mail, or raven.
We hope to see you soon,
Loki & Tony
PS : The extra-terrestrial guests should take knowledges of Midgard's customs before the wedding. Please see the annexes for more information. »
The two lovers exchanged a glance after Loki read the notice out loud, his voice calmer than before. Tony remained silent, as though he only just realised what was happening.
They had just written the invitations for their wedding.
Their wedding.
Loki had an engagement ring to his finger.
Had JARVIS been human that he would have heavily sighed when the god and the human kissed, with as much passion as they had on the first day, fighting to dominate the kiss while Loki teleported the both of them to their room. These two would make him completely insane before the time.
The awakening was as slow and peaceful as the night had been loud and agitated. But then again, it wasn't such a surprise, concerning the alien and the hero.
Loki opened his eyes first, at the first lights of the dawn, as usual. A sleepy smile appeared on his lips when he saw the claw on his finger and and felt Tony's form wrapped around him, and he sighed softly in pleasure, closing his eyelids again and snuggling against the warm form to his side.
Unlike for the food, Asgardians had very little need of sleep, by comparison with the humans. Three, or four hours per day were perfectly enough for them to full their batteries.
But Loki didn't had any objections, once in a while, to remain in bed with his human, for as long as he was asleep. First, because Tony had a very inferior level of sleep to most of his kind and didn't kept him waiting for hours, but, mostly, because there was something deeply cute in seeing him asleep. He was less arrogant, less proud, less defying... He was just warm, and cuddly, and smiling in his sleep in a way that Loki could have observed for hours. Of course, it wasn't impossible either that the sudden silence of the loud mortal had a connexion with the fact.
Loki looked at him with a tender smile for a while, detailing his features in the dimmed light of the morning, once more. It was only after a little while that he frowned softly, when he saw something that he didn't like, and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to the purple marks in the neck of the human. He caressed his hips, gently, from the tip of his fingers to erase the bruises that had appeared on his skin, guilt making him grimace a little.
Someday, he would learn to remember that Tony lived in a mortal, frail body, too fragile for his own good, no matter what the human said about it when they got too enthusiastics in their embraces.
Until that day, he would gently and discreetly cure each little injury of his lover when Tony couldn't see him, knowing that he would refuse otherwise.
His smile turned a little sad, a little resignated.
They had talked about it already.
Tony refused to eat a Golden Apple. Loki had been sincere about the human race's future. There were only for a few centuries more, maybe a few milleniums. Tony refused to see his world and his friends dying around him.
The billionair ended up waking up under the delicate caresses of the god, groaning in satisfaction and stretching like a cat against his chest.
« Hey », he murmured, opening an eye. « Good morning. »
« Slept well? » The god asked, amused by the look of his lover.
« After last night, I could only sleep well », Tony mumbled with a wink. « I would have proposed to you earlier, if I had been aware of what enthusiasm it would give you. »
« You say that as though I was never affecionate before », Loki sneered, far from offended. « So, do you feel ready to become my husband? » He continued then, teasingly.
« As prepared as can be when you are concerned, my chaotic love », the human replied with a muffled yawn. « I hope that you appreciate my effort. »
« Oh, to its full value, fear not », the god assured, fascinated once more by the transformation of the Iron Warrior, the Chitauris' Nightmare, as Thor had presented him to the Asgardian court, to a five-week old kitten, demanding for hugs. « But you still have to prove that your effort will work », he added distractly.
« What do you mean, that it'll work? I deal with these blood-craving journalists since I'm seventeen. And Fury never had his word to say anyway. I mean, we still have to deal with Clint, but- »
« I'm talking of the wedding, Anthony. Not of those who will witness it », the god interrupted, raising an eyebrow. « You asked for my hand. I gave it to you. It doesn't make anything official. »
A silence went on for a few seconds, during which Tony blinked, unsure if his lover was mocking him. Loki, on the other hand, was frowning lightly before his lack of reaction.
« You... do realise that it won't go that fast. Right? » He insisted after a long pause. « You said that the traditions of Asgard would be respected. I took it that you knew what you were talking about. »
«...Well... Yes, but... When JARVIS made his researches, he didn't find anything speaking of traditions before the wedding for the vikings, and I told you that we could sacrifice a goat if you- »
« Vikings?... Tony -vikings were humans! I'm talking to you of the customs of Asgard! »
A new, long pause followed. Loki's expression got more and more disbelieving as he realised that Tony had no idea of what he was talking about. Tony, on his side, looked properly alarmed. He took a deep breath, running a hand over his face and swearing between his teeth.
« Okay. Too early in the morning to panick. » He finally mumbled, pushing himself outside of the bed. « I need a coffee. An Irish coffee. And then, you'll explain to me what I have to do beside preparing the Tower to receive a bunch of aliens. »
« So, you are basically telling me that, when I asked for your hand, I agreed to prove to everyone in Asgard that I deserved to own you? And you only tell me that now?! »
« Sir, can I recommand that you take deep inspirati- »
« Mute, JARVIS. For fuck's sake, mute. »
« I thought that you knew what you were doing! » Loki protested, his arms crossed on his chest, completely forgetting the hot chocolate that was slowly cooling down before him.
Tony had always found it funny that the god hated so much the bitterness of tea or coffee. Just like Thor, Loki had a deep, adoration filled relation with sugar under its every form, and he'd rather eat like a five year old child than like a god of four thousands.
Today, though, it wasn't funny. The engineer was just too shocked and freaked out by the revelations of his lover to find anything funny.
« But how was I supposed to know that?! » The human snapped back defensively. « It's completely ridiculous. I don't want you to be mine, it's -I mean, yes, it's the plan, but it sounds -I mean, we're talking about you here! You're not a furniture or -and how am I even supposed to prove that I'm worthy of owning you? It's ridiculous », he repeated, taking a deep gulp of his mug -which held more alcohol than coffee- to try digesting the news.
« But you asked for my hand! » Loki insisted, shaking his head. « The man asks for the woman's hand, then he proves that he can take care of her. It has always been like that! On the day of the wedding, if he makes it there, the woman uses her magic on him. Magic is a feminine job, I was sure that you realised- »
« Loki, please, don't start again talking to me about the macho culture of your world », Tony whimpered, closing his eyes and taking a long pause to rub his eyelids, as though it would make the situation easier. « Okay. Fine. Explain. What do I have to do? I'll start freaking out after that. »
« We can still give up, if you wish », Loki remarked, grimacing a little. « The invitations aren't even sent yet... Nothing is keeping us from- »
« Loki. Just tell me. »
«...The main idea », Loki started after a deep sigh, « is to prove that you are a warrior and a man worthy of the privilege of marriage. There are several tasks to go through, as a demonstration. The first one is to kill a monster and to bring a part of its body, usually its head, to the brother of your future bride. Or her father, if she only has sisters- »
« Can you please stop talking of yourself as a she? » The human pleaded, despaired.
« The second one », Loki continued as though he hadn't been interrupted, « is to give her a gift of great value, to demonstrate that you have what it takes for her to live comfortably. Then, you must show your respect for her by spending a whole night sleeping next to her, without touching her even once. »
« What?! But- »
« The fourth task », Loki continued, looking like someone who tried to get rid of an unpleasant job, « is to convince the parents of your future bride that you deserve to have her. Then, you must prepare your own vows and promises for the wedding, even if there are a few you can't get rid off. »
« ...And that's all? That's it? It ends there? That's how I get to marry you? » Tony's voice was one of deep despair, and he had taken his head in his hands halfway through the explanation.
Loki nodded, looking uncomfortable. Tony sighed deeply, repeating the list mentally a few times. Preparing a few promises, it was no big deal. A gift for Loki? That wouldn't be hard. Spending his night next to him without any contact? It would be harder, but he could do it. Killing a monster, though? What monster, anyway? He lived in the USA -it wasn't as though he could go up to Alaska to find a polar bear. And they were almost extinct, anyway. As for convincing his parents-in-law to allow him to marry Loki? Well, he was doomed.
« Tony... I repeat it, we can just give up on that », Loki insisted after a few minutes of silence, embarrassed by the situation. « I didn't meant to force you to anything... »
The human looked back up to stare at his god for a little while. He took his time, without any real shame, detailing the green eyes that he liked so much when they were sparkling with mischief, the think lips that he caressed so often with his, the hands with long and delicate fingers -that were now holding nervously at the side of the table. He took his time to look at his Loki, to each detail of his pretty face, his hesitant mimic, that tried not to look too guilty, and yet just appearing disappointed to the mortal. In the end, a smile, soft and vaguely resignated, found its place on his lips.
« Ah, come on, what would life be without a bit of action? Tell me how to send the invitation to your space friends. I have until July 24th to be ready to marry you. »
Three weeks for everything to be perfect for the first union between Asgard and Midgard in history, to ssatisfy his royal and immortal parents-in-law, to survive to the imminent attack of every reporters in America, to be ready to marry the Lord of Chaos himself?
Come on, he was Tony Stark. He wouldn't need more than a few days.
Yeah. Right. Eheheh.