Kid sat by his campfire and tried to make sense of what he had seen and what it meant. His first thought was to be angry and jealous but he did the math quickly in his head and figured she had probably believed herself widowed for a year or more before marrying this man, judging by the age of the little girl. Even in the east that would have been considered a respectable period of mourning. In a rugged land like this, women weren't expected to take that much time and no one would even look unkindly upon a woman who remarried quickly. His Louise had mourned him, had grieved for him. He knew he'd have to stop thinking of her as his anything. It hurt though.

He thought perhaps that she didn't really love this man and only married him out of necessity. Perhaps if he revealed himself, she would be relieved to be able to rid herself of this man. He knew that wasn't the case. Even at the distance he had observed her from, he could see her face and he knew her expressions too well. Besides, Lou would not abide being with a man she did not love. There was no way she would allow such a situation to occur. She was too strong. She loved this man and he made her happy.

It still angered him that this man was known to his boy as 'pa'. But then again, wasn't that better than his boy having no pa at all? He knew he was being selfish and unfair but he couldn't really help it. For all of the rational reasons he knew there were for her to have moved on and all of the reasons he should be happy for her, he was in fact, miserable. He knew what he had to do and resolved to do it the next day.

He woke before the sun or at least he rose before the sun for he hadn't any sleep to wake from. He quickly broke camp and began the trek back to what had once been his home. He knew it would take the better part of the day to get back as he'd been pondering what to do for some time and had ridden a ways before setting up the camp and spending the next week pondering his world and where he fit in it. As he was riding, he saw movement ahead and was quick to note that it was the man he had seen with Lou. A hand went to the butt of his gun as he thought of how easily his dilemma could be taken care of and she'd be none the wiser but he just couldn't. It wasn't in him to kill someone in cold blood.

The man spotted him and Kid waved.

The friendly way the man approached made Kid glad he hadn't gone with his first reaction. Kid returned the warm smile offered to him.

"Are you lost?" the man asked.

"I don't think so," Kid replied with an easy tone. "But maybe you can help me out. I'm looking for an old friend of mine. Her name was Louise McCloud and I'd guess she's using that name again since she was widowed."

The man's smile widened, "Actually she's going by Nelson these days, she's my wife."

The man reached a hand, "Lucas Nelson, and can I ask how you know Louise?"

"We rode together for the Pony Express," Kid answered shaking the outstretched hand. "It's been a lot of years."

The man chuckled, "Louise sure was a wild one, wasn't she?" He paused and then added, "She still is. Follow me; I'm sure she'd be glad to see an old friend. I think she misses those days quite a lot."

Kid followed along until his former home came into view and the boy—his son came running to Lucas beaming at him.

"This here's my boy, James," he said and then lowered to a tone the boy would not pick up. "She named him after a friend she said was like a brother to her but she never calls him his name, just the Kid or even just Kid. He's from her first marriage. She was still carrying him I guess when she found out her husband had died. Nearly killed her getting that news from what I heard."

He shook his head at the pain she had endured and a little in awe of the strength she possessed.

"Say," Lucas said not seeming to take note of the fact that Kid hadn't spoken a word the whole time they'd been nearing the house. "If you rode with Louise then you would've known her first husband."

"Yeah, I did," Kid replied, "He was a fool."

The temptation was great to set the horse to a full run and ride off but then he could look down and see those blue eyes. James; it made sense she would have named him after Jimmy. He had been like a brother to her. Kid knew he had misinterpreted the kindness he'd shown her and acted a fool because of it. He knew that both Jimmy and Lou had from time to time gotten confused about what they felt for one another but deep down they both knew it wasn't anything. He was a big brother who would stand by her and support her and help her through her problems and she was a way to atone for how he felt he had failed Celinda and Lydia, his own sisters. Kid could see that now but he'd had years to think on it. He could see why she called the boy Kid. If not for the smaller stature of the child, Kid would've thought he was looking in a mirror when he looked at young James. He wondered how Lucas wasn't seeing it.

Lucas dismounted and began to walk toward the house.

"I'm sorry," he said pausing, "I don't think I got your name."

"Obadiah Chase," Kid said and it was the truth. A risky truth to say out loud because, aside from his mother and brother who were both dead, Lou was the only person on earth who knew that name. Lucas gave an odd look and Kid at first thought that Lucas might know the name or perhaps have known that Lou was Louise Chase when first married.

"That's interesting," he said, "Obadiah is James' middle name."

The look Lucas shot Kid at that moment was full of questions but the man knew Lou's first husband to be dead so he just shook his head as if to clear the crazy thoughts away and headed inside. Kid stayed put not knowing what to expect but feeling best about staying mounted and ready to flee. He didn't know what her mood was going to be but he knew what she was like if anger was the emotion she chose and he knew she was a darned good shot. He jumped when he heard the front door slam shut and braced himself.

Lou didn't look at the man as she marched out with her fists balled at her sides.

"I don't know what kind of sick joke this is," she growled her eyes full of the wildfire that had first caused him to fall in love with her. Even angry, and maybe especially angry, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. "You have some nerve mister whoever you are. Obadiah Chase is dead; has been for years."

It was only then, standing not five feet from where Kid sat atop his horse that she looked up and saw his face. The maelstrom of emotions that he saw run in her eyes nearly tore Kid to shreds and he thought once more to leave but knew that she'd track him down even if it was only to shoot him for all the hurt he caused her.

"No," she said softly, "No, it can't be. I-I need t-to sit."

And she did, right where she stood, she sat on the ground, her skirts puffing slightly as she descended. She looked up helplessly at him. She remembered the day the telegram came. The words on the page stabbed her and kept stabbing every time she read them and she read them over and over. She thought at first if she let those words hack at her soul for long enough that she could join her husband for surely he was finally somewhere that a war would never part them again. Those were the days that she accepted what was written. Other days she would pretend the message had not come at all and spent hours sitting and watching the horizon for the silhouette of him returning to her. There were even times when she was sure he had and she'd spent more than one afternoon and evening talking to him and telling him of everything he had missed and come night she even felt his arms around her but in the light of a new day, it was clear she had been alone the whole time. Lou knew how close she came to losing all traces of her sanity to the crippling grief. She had managed to think less about that hurt as time went on although she couldn't call her young son James by his given name for he looked too much like the Kid. It was as if God had seen she couldn't live without him and gave her a piece to hold onto. She was successful most days in not thinking about him and more and more the thinking wasn't the same dagger being thrust into her heart that it had once been.

This day had been uneventful and spent minding her children and getting some bread baked until Lucas had come in looking for her.

"Louise, honey," he had called to her, "You'll never guess who I ran into on my way home."

"You're right I won't guess," she smiled and kissed him lightly, "So I won't even try. Who is it?"

"He says he's an old friend from your days with the Pony Express, Obadiah Chase."

Her blood began to boil. So few knew his real name, his real first name anyway and fewer still would ever use it. She had gone back to her maiden name of McCloud before she and Lucas had ever met. Anyone who knew her name and to look for her here would know how hurtful it would be. None of her real friends from that time would have called that ghost to mind and they wouldn't lie about who they were either. She stormed out and confronted the man only to find that the ghost was really there and in her front yard. All those prayers she so desperately sent heavenward after being informed of his death had been answered—five years too late. She wanted to scream or cry or laugh or yell or hit something or even shoot something. But she could make no move or sound. It was like a dream where the monster is chasing and you can't scream or run. Louise sat statue still next to the horse that carried her first love and feeling upon her shoulders the hands of the man who had saved her from madness.

So, this wasn't a one shot after all. I have no idea how this one ends but I dare to say no one's getting through it without a great deal of pain and someone is going to end it very hurt. I have no idea what I have gotten myself into but I guess it has to be written. And I am still working my way through the 1960's with Livin'. I was just having a talentless day today where that one was concerned and this one kept calling to me. I hope you will all let me know what you think of this because I am really feeling out on a limb here. Oh and OBVIOUSLY I totally made up a name for Kid. I thought since his brother was Jed and therefore probably Jedidiah that a similar and equally biblical name would be appropriate. Yeah I really just pulled it out my bum but I think it works. And I thought since Obadiah is a name without as obvious a nickname as Jedidiah that might be why his family called him The Kid and that then he maybe decided that he didn't like his own name and thought Kid was better. It could happen. My great grandparents lived quite long and had a whole lot of grandchildren and great grandchildren. Even when I was the only one of the greats there, they wouldn't always be able to remember my name so I was often just "The Girl" to them. It didn't mean they didn't love me or anything, just that there were too many names to keep track of. So yeah, that's it for now. Let's see what you all think and if anyone has any ideas for how this one ends. Cuz I sure the heck do not.-J