Chapter 2
Classes had resumed today so I had no choice but to leave Dimitri's side. The morning went by in a blur. I don't remember anything from class, like I ever pay attention anyway. I just couldn't get the fact that he was leaving tomorrow out of my mind. There are so many unanswered questions going on in my head. Will we see each other again? When will we see each other again? Will this long distance cripple our love for each other? Will his love fade? Will mine?
I don't mean to doubt our love because I know it really is that strong. I'm normally never scared of anything, but this scares me. I figured we had a few months left to see each other every day until graduation and we would figure it out after that. There wasn't any time left now, which brings another thought in my head… WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE WHEN I SHOULD BE WITH HIM WHILE I CAN!
The bell rang and it was now time for lunch, but I couldn't eat at a time like this. I needed to find him. Through the bond Lissa was telling to meet her and the rest of the gang for lunch but I couldn't be bothered with that right now. I ran straight to the place I knew he'd be.
He was in the gym sitting in a corner and of course reading one of his famous western novels. Except when I reached him he wasn't reading, he was looking at the book but wasn't seeing it. He must have been in deep though because he didn't notice me approaching him. I didn't care if anyone walked in at this moment but I threw my arms around him and kissed him with as much love I can put in to it. He was a bit surprised and a little thrown off balance, that's not like him so I knew something was bothering him. After a minute he pulled back and held on to me like he needed me just as much as I needed him.
We sat next to each other on the bleachers, there was more silence. I stared into his eyes trying to figure out what he's thinking but he's hiding it. He finally spoke, "Roza, you're missing lunch. You're going to be hungry later." Really? At a time like this he's thinking about how hungry I will be later? "When it comes to you comrade, I don't care how hungry I will be later, I just want to be with you while I can."
Dimitri managed to get me out of my afternoon classes. Telling Kirova and Alberta that since he is my mentor and will be leaving he wanted to go over a few things he wasn't able to teach me yet. Who would have though Comrade was such a great liar because they agreed and left us the gym for the rest of the afternoon.
In reality there wasn't much left to teach me, I've killed countless strigoi though I am a novice. We went into a practice room since we didn't necessarily need the whole gym. "Before you say anything, Roza, I just want you to know whatever happens I will love you unconditionally always and forever", Dimitri blurted out right after he shut the door. "I love you too comrade, but what do you mean 'whatever happens'"? He made it sound like something would go wrong. I wonder what he's not telling me. "I know I can handle the long-distance that will be between us, because I love you so much and I will count the days that I can hold you in my arms again, I don't doubt your love for me because I know you love me as much as I love you but I don't know if you can handle the long distance. You're still young and so beautiful, I'm scared that you'll meet someone else and fall out of love with me."
How could he think that I would fall out of love with him and find someone else, oh yeah, because, according to him I'm still young, he probably wanted to add 'and doesn't know any better'. Ugh, what am I thinking, that's not what he thinks of me. In the midst of my mental argument with myself I heard him calling my name, "Roza."… "Roza." … "ROZA!" I snapped out of it, and before I knew what I was doing, on impulse I pushed him and he stumbled back and was saved by a chair. He was obviously caught off guard to stumble like that, but I didn't care, we were closer to eye level now and I wanted him to really hear what I had to say. "Dimitri Belikov, if the thought of me would falling out of love with you crossed your mind than you're an idiot. I love you more than you obviously know, I wouldn't dream of being with someone else, I will count the days to be in your arms again too. I'll admit that I'm scared and worried about you and I not seeing each other and what would things be like, but if you love me the way you say you do than I'm reassured that things will be ok in the end." He stared into my eyes, peering at my soul, he found the truth and finally he smiled. He pulled me on to his lap and held on to me like he was never going to let me go. I'm glad he was convinced. It was the truth of course, I knew it in my heart and mind, but my gut was telling me something different.