Author's Note:

Ambrose: Hello, and welcome to the second chapter of our story, "Never A Dull Moment". Wa-hey! Reviews! Cool - we were wondering if anyone even knew this story existed. Still - a very, very welcome surprise. Now, let's kick off this round of Review Answers with Love is the key to the world (cool name, by the way) - well, here's a little more to read. *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* Say no more! Ah, I love Monty Python . . .

The Professor: And now on to henriette - no, that isn't quite his aim. Let's just say that Harry never had much talent for math, and that neither did Professor Proah. So the date of 1962 isn't so much a choice as a - fortunate accident. M'kay? Finally, we have kubas89 - we believe that a good, strong start is the most important part for a story, and we're glad that we seem to have accomplished such a thing. Let's hope we're second time lucky, eh gang?

Ambrose: And now, to the disclaimer - Harry Potter and all other people, places, concepts, species', etc that are affiliated with the Harry Potter universe are the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling, and of course all those guys at Warner Bros. who do the movies probably own a bit too. Any and all other references to outside TV shows, movies, cartoons, books, etc, are not in any way inclined toward encroaching copyright.

The Professor: Enjoy, read and review friends! And make sure to leave a review, even if it's just to say something like, "You guys suck! Stop posting!" Well, not like that, but you get the idea - we desperately need feedback on this story, especially at this stage.

(Chapter Two - Start)

"Time travel is not a method of transportation. This simple principle is essential when dealing with temporal traverse, and the best way to think about time travel is as five year old art - that is, art done by a five year old. This parable is very effective, as anyone can do five year old art - and anyone can 'do' time travel. The following things are needed when simple time travel is to be attempted. A. A pot of Vaseline; this acts as a catalyst with which local magic can use to power the actual traversal - this is due to the amounts of petroleum jelly present, which is highly reactive in the presence of magic. B. A compact power source, perhaps a handheld appliance powered by conventional alkaline batteries - this generates a rectification-resistant field around the user, and so allows their quantum signature to be transported through intense chronon energy to another temporal point in space-time. C. A fatal amount of adrenaline present in the user, which is naturally produced on the brink of physical death.

In short, time travel is achievable through Vaseline, a compact power source, and the user having leapt off a tall building."

The more Harry read of the dusty tome, the more he felt his incredulity and hopelessness increase. He was going to have to jump from a tall building. He was going to commit suicide in the most ridiculously gory way possible. He hadn't understood about a quarter of the words, but the general impression he got was that he only had two choices.

1. Give up to the Death Eaters. Well, that one was out right from the off - so it had to be option two, which was equally damning.
2. Sacrifice his life in order to travel back in time and make everything right - all based off the theories of a man who apparently didn't exist.

Harry groaned, and his head fell on the dusty pages. Sometimes he wished his life were more complicated, and that he had more than a Hobson's choice - why couldn't he have a proper 'bacon-or-sausages' choice, like normal people? He lifted his head again, and grinned sadly - he knew that, at least. Because I'm Harry Potter - the universe's guinea pig.

(Scene Break)

An hour later, Harry had assembled his meagre belongings, and a plan which would probably disintegrate the moment put into action. He plonked the few items he had scrounged together onto the table, and glanced again at the small notebook - she - had given him, which contained his three-step plan. It went as follows:

1. Jump off of the Hogwarts battlement.
-------------- (This indicated 'if the book is right') ---------------
2. Use key to access funds in Potter vault - small withdrawals.
3. Find - Peter Pettigrew
- Tom Riddle
- Dolores Umbridge

It was a terrible plan, Harry knew, but it seemed to sum up what he knew was important, or perhaps who, in the chain of events. He took stock of his inventory, and knew he was taking only the bare essentials: the book, of course, seventy two galleons, which were also (all-together) worth one hundred and ninety pounds in gold, (at least, according to the ore book he'd found when first inhabiting the shack) his copy of the Potter vault key, the Marauders Map, (which he kept more for sentimental value - he intended to steer clear of Hogwarts in the past - too much potential to undo any changes he'd make) a written list of important events in the timeline he hoped to influence (which ran from 1900 to 1992), what was probably the last SkySlasher broom in England not owned by a Dark Wizard (miniaturized, of course), a First Aid kit with both Muggle and Wizard aids, a snub-nosed revolver (which Harry had swiped from Uncle Vernon shortly before the destruction of Privet Drive - the street, not the house), the obligatory pot of Vaseline - and Hermione's iPod classic, which was perpetually stuck on David Bowie's "Life On Mars".

He doubted Hermione would miss it much.

Slinging the odd collection of - Harry was tempted to call it crap, but thought that might just be asking for trouble - things into the weather-beaten bottomless moleskin bag Hagrid had given him so many years ago, Harry grimly did his Gryffindor tie up (it was the only tie he owned) and leaned over the table, before checking his watch; a quarter to seven. He grabbed his wand, now sporting a rather large crack through the handle (the phoenix feather was poking out, he reflected) and readied himself to apparate to Hogsmeade, and then on to Hogwarts.

Wouldn't want to be late for his own funeral, now would he?

(Chapter Two - End)

The Professor: So, another chapter done. Question is, how's the story so far? That's what we want to know, people! Thanks for reading chapter two - no holds barred on the reviews, please! See ya.