A/N: Sorry I didn´t uptade sooner and I am also sorry for all those grammar mistakes I am making! Love ya, please REVIEWS! :)

Chapter 2: Closer

I woke up, feeling Sara´s body pressed against mine. Wow. So it really happend? I though it didn´t. I thought I was only dreaming, but apparently, I wasn´t. Shit. I was thinking I wont be able to sleep all night, because of that little stupid peck, but I slept pretty good.

Maybe it was because of Sara. It´s a twin thing, you know. When we are together, it´s like...we are complete. I feel so much better when I am with her, that´s why I am glad, when we are together on tour, because when she´s not around me, I feel kind of incomplete. Like there is something missing. I don´t know, if she ever felt the same way.

I always felt, that she was too proud to admit that. Everytime I was getting closer to her, she just pushed me away... But she´s my twin. She must feel the same way. We are almost the same person, even though we are pretty different.

But yesterday, she was so broken she even let me to sleep with her. She snuggled to me and that was honestly the sweetest moment we ever had. Some part of me was telling me it was disgusting, but that was probably the part of me I was showing only to the other people. Deep down inside of me I liked it when we were so close to each other.

But that peck on my lips was maybe...too much. I don´t know, she would never do that, I don´t understand why did she...Maybe she was just too emotional and she didn´t know how to thank me for being here for her.

I sighed, because it was too much of thinking for me, when I just woke up. As I sighed and my chest moved up and down, Sara has woken up. She slowly moved her head up and looked up to me. I was looking back at her, curiously.

„Good morning.", she said and smiled a bit.

„Morning to you too. How do you feel?", I asked her and she placed her head back to the place on my chest it was before.

„Better.", she replied.

There was a longer moment of pure silence and I tried to get that mess out of my head. I was feeling weird. Even though I wanted to help Sara, it felt somehow different now. It was probably because of her different acting, so why the heck am I still thinking about it?!

„Do we have to get up anytime soon?", Sara asked me after a while and I looked at my phone next to the bed. It was only 7 AM and we didn´t have anything special to do today. After the yesterday´s concert, we decided to take a day off. She probably forgot about it.

„Nope. Nothing special to do today.", I told her and she sighed and rolled herself off me, laying right by my side, still making an eye contact with me.

„Sorry, I didn´t mean to lay on you all the time.", she apologized suddenly and I raised my eyebrow, surprised. I actually liked making a physical contact with her. It was like touching myself, but better...

„N-no, it´s okay. I don´t mind it at all.", I said and winked at her and then I realized that once I told something like this to Lindsey with exactly the same wink and I wanted to slap myself. Like seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you, Tegan?

Her respone was a giggle. A fucking giggle! And it was cute. Shit, no! The fuck is wrong with me?! I can´t be thinking like this, it´s Sara for god sake!

I jumped out of the bed and walked to the bathroom, where I washed my face for like 6 times and I even lightly slapped myself, trying to get back to the normal human being I was before the whole thing. I looked at myself in the mirror and well, I looked normal. Like there was nothing difference about me. But inside, I felt something changed and I didn´t feel good about it.

I mean, what the hell was that? Since the small kiss she gave me something woke up in me. Shiiiiit, nooo, it´s just my big imagination, nothing else. I am a mess, I guess I just need Lindsey. Yeah, right, Lindsey. She is what I need. But she is away for the work...

„Are you okay?", I felt small hands on my shoulders and then I saw Sara standing behind my back with a worried expression. Her touch send a shiver through my whole body and I guess she noticed it, because she put her hands away and took a step back.

I felt that the situation was getting more awkward each second and I tried to calm down and stop all those thoughs and everything and just get back to the normal. I turned to her and smiled a bit.

„Everything´s fine, I just needed to get myself...um...up, you know. I was very sleepy and-and I have things to do today.", I lied to her and she frowned and I knew she didn´t believe what I said, she is my twin, she always knows when I´m lying or not.

I moved past her back to her room and she was following me with her arms crossed on her chest. I picked my phone that I had next to her bed and I was about to leave her room, but she stopped me before I could.

„I thought we could spend some time together today. You know, I don´t really want to be...alone.", she said in a sad voice and I turned back to her, when I heard this, it almost hurt me physically. I hated seeing her like that – so vulnerable. She really needed me.

I smiled at her and then I hugged her thightly. She sighed happily as I was holding her and I felt a very warm feeling running through my whole body.

„I will be always here for you, Sara. I will be always here to protect you.", I whispered into her ear.

I felt her smiling against my skin.

„Are you sure you need to get up so soon? We both need some more rest after yesterday.", she told me as I pulled away from her and I thought about it and when I saw her puppy eyes, I rolled my eyes and nodded.

She giggled and pulled me down back to the bed and she pressed herself against me again and I just took a deep breath and tried not to feel those unappropriate things I was feeling.

„Sara?", I asked her as she cuddled closer to me and I could smelled her fresh and soft scent.

„Hm?"

„You know, I am okay with this, but are you sure you didn´t switch with someone else? The old Sara I knew would never cuddle with me like this.", I told her honestly and she giggled softly, making me smile.

Sara turned her head from my chest to my face and she was just staring into my eyes for a few seconds with a serious face, but then she smiled softly.

„I know. I just...I feel like I need to feel you. You are the closest person I have, Tee Tee. Maybe in those past years, we should have been closer to each other than we were. Maybe that would make all these problems go away, all these fights we had and everything.", she explained to me and I smiled and stroke her hair.

„Yeah. We should have been closer.", I sighed.

After a few more hours of cuddling with Sara, she decided to take a shower and get ready and I got back to my own room and as soon as I get in there I grabbed a paper and a pencil and I started writing a song Sara inspired me to write.

Closer.

I don´t know exactly what got into me, I just had this feeling I had to write it down somewhere. I wrote just a chorus, because right after that Sara came back from the shower and she walked to my room, so I had to hide it. I didn´t want her to know I was writing a song about what just happend, I wasn´t even about to give it on our next album. I just...needed to write it down, that´s all.

„Are you ready to go?", Sara asked me as I turned to her right after I pulled that paper into my suitcase.

„Why are you still not ready?", she asked me, confused and I just opened my mouth and tried to find a really quick excuse.

„Uhm, I was just...I just...I was thinking about what should I wear. Where are we even going?", I asked her and she frowned, knowing that there was something wrong with me, but thank God she let it go.

„Well, I wanted to go on breakfast somewhere with you and then we can do whatever you want. Just me and you, hanging out, like we used to.", she said with a warm smile and a memory of us two hanging out in random places came in my mind.

Those times were really awesome. When we were kids, we used to be together all the time, we were unseparable. Then, when we were teenagers, most of the things we experienced together, like alcohol, weed and stuff. When we started with our music carieer, we were still pretty close, but as we were growing older, we were more separated each year. But those times I spend with her were the best. It was like there was no problem in the world, it was just her and me, doing crazy things together.

„Sounds great. ´Em gonna take a shower and I´ll be ready in 15 minutes okay?", I told her and she giggled.

„You´re always so quick.", she said before she left my room and I sighed and looked back to my suitcase on the paper with the lyrics I just wrote.

Maybe I will use that song later...Maybe we are really getting closer with Sasa and the song will grow up together with our relationship. Who knows. I grabbed that paper, looked at it and smiled for myself. Then I put it back there and went to the shower, where I silently sang the lyrics that were on my mind.

As Sara suggested, we went on breakfast, where we were talking about some random things. Sara seemed to be so much better than she was yesterday. She was smiling at me all the time, but it was probably because I was trying to make her laugh. I always knew how to make her smile or laugh and I was thankful for that. She really needed to relax and forget about Emy and the fight we had yesterday. It was too much for us both to take.

After breakfast, we went on a walk through the park. It was a very nice day, the weather was a little cold, but we both had jackets on so it was just fine. And I knew that Sara loved a weather like this, she liked autumn and winter more than summer. Actually, it was by me like that too.

I tried not to think about the things that were bothering me this morning. This wasn´t about me, but Sara and all I wanted was to make her feel relaxed and happy. At least today.

There was a small river and a bridge, where we both stayed and watched the water quietly, none of us said a word, but after a few minutes Sara looked at me and broke the silence.

„Thank you, Tegan.", she said to me and I suprisly looked back at her, seeing her very serious expression. She looked lost in her thoughs as she was looking at me.

„It´s okay, Sara. You don´t have to say that. You know that I will do anything for you.", I said honestly and then I looked back to the river.

She sighed.

„I know you would. I just never let you to help me even when I needed it."

I knew why was she telling me this. She probably started to feeling guilty, because I was such a clingy twin that always wanted to be around her and she was just pushing me away. Even when she had some problems, she hardly ever asked me for help. She knew it hurt me when she was staying so far away from me.

But I was never angry on her. No. I was angry on myself, I was thinking that she was right and I was just acting so stupid and I was blaming myself for the way she was treating me.

„Maybe we should change it. Isn´t it nice when we are so close as we were today? Maybe you should finally let me to help you with whatever is bothering you.", I said and I meant it.

There was a moment of silence between us and that silence was very uncomfortable for me. I didn´t know, if I crossed the line or not, if I told her something I shouldn´t, but then she finally spoke again.

„That´s a very good plan, actually. We should try it. A new start."

„Maybe with a new album?", I asked her and she smirked and nodded.

„Sure, why not.", she replied and I felt a need of hugging her, so I stepped to her and I gave her one big hug. I just needed something, some proof, that we are okay since now and that we will continue in a better way than we were.

Sara wasn´t surprised I hugged her, instead of pulling away, as the old Sara would definitely do, she pulled me even closer to her and I felt her enjoying the hug, maybe more than I was. Even though Sara was the smalled one, she was strong and I felt that when she hugged me tighter. But I didn´t mind at all.

It was our new start.