Disclaimer - See Chapter One.

Chapter Two: The Trouble With Divas

The situation had not improved by lunchtime, especially since DX had decided to wander around with Coco and let her meet some of the other superstars. Carlito didn't care for her too much; she tried picking his hair to see if there were any bugs in it, a sight that made the other guys helping Carlito - Cody Rhodes, Paul London, and Brian Kendrick - laugh so hard they nearly wet themselves.

Throughout the morning, several of the guys had approached their respective significant others and tried to talk to them. Ashley and Candice ignored Matt and Jeff completely, Torrie and Lillian simply smiled and gave one-word answers to any questions Dave or C. M. Punk asked - Matt and Jeff told them to count themselves lucky; at least their girls had smiled at them -, and Maria appeared to feel sorry for John, but wasn't about to abandon her fellow Divas.

And the Divas didn't just give the guys the cold shoulder; oh, no...that would've been going easy on them. They wanted to make them squirm. And they were damn good at it, too. It started off simple enough; a soapy water fight between Torrie, Mickie, and Maria, but Candice and Ashley outdid them all when they offered to put sunscreen on each other.

Matt and Jeff looked ready to cry, and Triple H grinned.

"People are pulling out camera phones, did you guys know that?" he asked cheerfully.

"Shut up, Hunter," Jeff muttered miserably.

"Forget camera phones," Armistead put in, "the guy in that Tahoe up there just turned on a video camera." This statement caused Matt to gently ram his head against the roof of a car and swear under his breath repeatedly.

Coach saw the girls next, and - after watching them himself for a few moments - called out, "C'mon ladies...finish it up...you're backing up traffic on the highway!" In response, Coco ran over and low-blowed him again, and the Executive Assistant went down for the second time that morning.

Armistead decided to leave his approach on Mickie until lunch. He volunteered the two of them to go get the pizzas Vince had ordered for everybody, and he was thankful that Mickie didn't protest when she was informed he'd volunteered her. Armistead had left Lady with Ashley and Candice - who were lavishing attention on her instead of on their boyfriends - so it was just him and Mickie in the car.

After a few minutes of silence, Mickie turned to him and grinned.

"Go ahead; all the other guys have tried with their girls. Let's see your attempt."

Armistead shook his head. "I figure when you want to talk about it, you'll let me know."

Mickie appeared briefly surprised at his reaction. She quickly regained her composure, however, and grinned mischievously.

"You can't wait forever...I bet I can hold out longer than you can."

Armistead stopped at a traffic light and leaned over to her. He nuzzled her neck and whispered in her ear, letting his southern accent become extremely evident.

"You sure 'bout that, darlin'?" he murmured huskily, and placed a wet kiss just behind Mickie's ear before gently nibbling on her earlobe with his teeth, chuckling silently as she shuddered and exhaled audibly. His accent was one thing that he knew drove the gorgeous Women's Champ absolutely wild, especially when he used it while whispering sweet nothings into her ear in his dark hotel room after having loved her to exhaustion. He pulled back and gazed into her soulful brown eyes, which were now dark with desire, and he knew he had her.

A honk from behind them made him settle back behind the wheel and drive through the light. Mickie sat staring straight ahead for a few minutes before she turned and saw a gas station.

"Pull in that gas station up there."

Armistead did as she requested, and was surprised when she asked him to pull around to the car wash.

"I'm gonna wash the car at the charity car wash before we leave, sweetheart."

"You can get it washed again," the Women's Champ replied. "Now pull in and select the full treatment."

Armistead did as she asked, and shut off the car once it was on the conveyor belt. The moment the car was inside, he heard his girlfriend unbuckle her seatbelt, and seconds later his arms were full with a scantily-clad Women's Champ who was kissing him hungrily.

"What - " was all Armistead got out before Mickie cut him off with a seductive grin.

"Let's work up an appetite, Luke."

Armistead grinned. He loved the outfit Mickie had chosen for the day. Indeed, he'd nearly gone with his instinct to forget the car wash and keep his exquisite girlfriend home in bed that day when she came downstairs in a neon pink string bikini with splashes of royal purple and royal blue on it. He'd burst out laughing when his new Macaw parrot, Cap'n Jack, took one look at Mickie and started screaming, "Go daddy! Go daddy!" while running up and down his perch and bobbing his head enthusiastically. Mickie's response had been to smack her boyfriend's chest lightly for teaching his new bird how to be a pervert while at the same time trying very hard not to laugh herself.

No, he had no problem at all with working up an appetite. Thank God his Impala had bench seats.