Healing Wish

Bulkhead carefully put the seeker at the berth in the medical bay. Although he had always hated him, he couldn't be aggressive as Starscream was close to dying. Right next to him was Bumblebee who was looking at the seeker like he was sorry for him. As soon as Bulkhead backed off, Knock Out pushed himself towards the berth to look at the hurt silver mech. Energon was still dripping from him and he would occasionally clench his fists, but as soon as he would do that, he'd pass out. Knock Out's optic ridges lowered as he saw his state, a little worried for his former comrade. Soon, Ratchet joined him and they started to type something on their computers. The screens soon filled up with information and Ratchet cabled the seeker to connect him to the other devices which were built complexly.

Ultra Magnus and Arcee were standing at the doorjamb, looking into the room. Ultra Magnus noticed that she was still battling herself if it was really a good idea to help him, so he put a servo at her shoulder, making her look up to him.

"You did the right thing", he said and smiled, but she didn't smile back. As soon as he removed his servo from her shoulder, she rushed away from the room. Bumblebee looked at her as she left, and Bulkhead sighed. They both knew how much she couldn't stand the seeker, and how hard it was for her to actually help him.

"Why is she behaving like that?" Ultra Magnus asked and Knock Out looked at him.

"Oh, she's still upset because of Cliffjumper's death which Starscream mentioned, like, a hundred times. Or a thousand. I'm not quite sure, I stopped listening to him as soon as Megatron got well again."

Ultra Magnus gave him a questioning look.

"He did it. He extinguished the 'Bot's spark", Knock Out explained and turned towards the screen once again.

Ultra Magnus' optics widened, but he didn't say anything anymore. He just looked at the ground and nodded his head.

"Is he going to survive?" Bumblebee asked when there was no sound in the room. He clearly couldn't stand the silence and the awkwardness which was in the room.

"I cannot tell you that yet. He lost a lot of energon and the vital states are still getting worse… Still, he survived all of Megatron's punishments so it doesn't need to mean he isn't going to survive. Ugh… But I can't overlook the fact that the open cuts caused several infections… making the thing way worse."

Bumblebee didn't say anything anymore; he just nodded his head and walked out of the room. Smokescreen came in front of the door, but as soon as he saw that the room was emptying, he walked out of it too. The blue mech started to wonder why nobody was staying with the dying seeker and he felt sudden urgency to talk about it with someone. And his first target was the femme who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She immediately recognized Smokescreen's "I wanna know it too" face, so she quickly turned around and started walking away from him, her servos crossed at her chest.

"Conceal, don't feel... Not in front of them", she thought as she was having a hard time keeping her feelings inside of her. She couldn't stand the way Starscream was treated, she couldn't stand that everyone was jumping around him like he was actually someone who deserved so much attention. She felt like she was the only one who didn't forget the way he behaved.

"Cee, wait up!" He shouted and ran over to her. She rolled her optics and turned around to face him.

"What is it that you want to know this time, Smokey?"

He put both of his servos at his hips: "Why isn't anybody there with Starscream? Sure, he's a jerk and didn't deserve any attention… But he didn't deserve to die alone too."

"Die?" She raised an optic ridge, put her servo at her hip and slightly smirked, "Starscream won't die, Smokes. Believe me, I tried to offline him, others tried to offline him, but it's not that easy to get rid of him. Everybody knows that."

He chuckled, but his optics were showing that he was a little worried. He didn't know why, maybe because of the former commander's horrible state in which he was in.

"Cee. You can tell me anything", he said and she smiled towards him, but then turned her back at him and faced the window which was showing the darkness outside. There were shiny stars on the skyline and she just couldn't take her eyes off of them.

"I don't think it's that important to talk about it, Smokescreen… It's a personal matter."

"Ugh… personal", he said and she silently chuckled.

"No need to worry about him, Smokes. He'll be fine."

"I do hope so… Maybe he would even join us!" he stated and she immediately clenched her hands into fists, what he, luckily, didn't notice. Otherwise he'd want to know, and she really didn't want to talk about it. Not yet again.

"I don't think he's going to join us. He is," she stopped for a moment to think what to say, "too… different. He's not like us."

Smokescreen nodded his head and came right next to her, looking at the stars too. He widely smiled and said: "Yeah, maybe you're right. The claws, the pointy chin, the structure, the wings… the high heels", he looked over to her and saw her smiling.

"Not that kind of different", he looked at him and he smiled even wider, but started to walk away.

"Sorry… But those are the only differences which I can detect on him", he said and left the room.

She looked after him, but he already disappeared. Her smile already left her faceplates as she realized that he could actually be right, for once. She didn't like the idea having him with them, but the sentence Smokescreen stated brought confusion about who he is…

"Maybe he could really change… Maybe it was fate that I chose to rescue him instead of leaving him there." she thought as her processor and her spark were at the same level, fighting to which one she should listen once again.

"Or the seeker would get rid of us as soon he'd wake up", she stated to shake off the good feelings about him. It was really hard for her to accept that she rescued one of her worst enemies who terminated her partner and brought too much trouble to Autobots and Decepticons. She knew he was hopeless, but also helpless as he found himself in the middle of hate and grief which made him the way he was: treacherous, vicious and back-stabbing. He was evil… but could he really change one day? She couldn't know. She didn't want to know and she didn't want to think about it. After all, he was helpless to defy his fate.

"It would be better if he'd just pass away without us having trouble with him", she said as she looked at the stars, but she wasn't sure if it was really her wish. There was a part of her which was hoping he'd turn a new leaf too, but not so that he'd stay with them, but more because of the fact that he wouldn't do any trouble anymore.

...The next morning…

"Emergency, Knock Out! Come out already!" Ratchet's loud voice woke Arcee up and she moaned as it was too early to wake up. Anyways, she stretched and sat up at her metal berth. Then she paced towards the door of her room. It opened and she walked outside, only to be hit by the rushing red medic. They both yelped and fell at the floor, face first.

"Can't you watch where you step?!" he yelled and she frowned and narrowed her bright blue optics as she saw his crimson red ones.

"Can't you watch where you step?" she asked in a calm voice and he growled, but stood up instead of fighting. As soon as he brushed the dust off of himself, he started to rush again.

"Where are you going? …And more importantly, why are you rushing?" she asked and jumped up at her feet, following him.

"Didn't you hear Ratchet yelling at me? It's an EMERGENCY! It must be tied to Starscream", he stated and rushed out of the room, letting her alone. She lowered her optic ridges and widened her optics as she remembered what she had wished for the last night.

"What if… My wish came true… No! It possibly can't… No!" she thought and immediately rushed towards the medical bay too. Grief was filling up her spark and she felt some pressure in her throat, something that was making her sad.

As soon as she got to the room, she noticed that there were already a few mechs lined up to look at the doctors at work. Then she looked at Starscream. He was all cabled up and energon couldn't stop leaking out of him. Knock Out was rushing from one side to another, trying to cover the wounds which wouldn't stop leaking.

"Ratchet, vital states?" Knock Out asked and Ratchet slightly shook his head, his optics narrowing.

"Getting worse every second… If he doesn't stop leaking…"

"He's gonna kick the", Smokescreen finished his sentence and Knock Out started to work even harder and faster.

Arcee stepped into the room, and Bumblebee looked at her with sad-looking optics.

"We're losing him", Ratchet said and Knock Out started to panic.

"STOP PUTTING ME UNDER PRESSURE!" the red mech loudly stated and put another cable at the silver seeker who heavily took air in.

"Could you please leave now…? We need to open him up", Ratchet said and everybody firstly made a disgusted look, then they put their hands up and then they walked out, backwards. As soon as the last member, which was Ultra Magnus, came out, the door closed itself. Arcee was still staring at the door for a few seconds as she couldn't shake the feeling that it was her fault off. Firstly, because of her "wish", and secondly, because she didn't want to help him immediately. He could have arrived here sooner; he could have been in a better state right now.

"As much as I hate to say this, I'll miss his cruelty", Wheeljack said and Bulkhead lowered his head too.

"Yeah, he was my worst enemy after Breakdown left… But his life should have ended in a different way. Maybe getting scrapped by me or Megatron, and not in the hands of the best two medics we know… while they were trying to help him."

"He had some useful information for us", the yellow muscle car stated and lowered his head.

"He didn't even had a chance to change", Smokescreen said and looked at the door once again.

Arcee didn't want to say anything. She wanted to stay silent; she wanted to keep all of the pain… She didn't want them to know anything about her wish or not believing him while he was actually telling the truth. For once.

"I guess… We should go for an energon patrol", Bumblebee said and Smokescreen nodded his head to let him know that he would be coming too. Bulkhead and Wheeljack agreed on going too, and they soon departed. Arcee and Ultra Magnus were the only ones who stayed. He noticed the way she was looking at the door, and he had to ask.

"Arcee", he stated and she "woke up" from her thoughts.

"Wh-What? I didn't do it!" she loudly stated and he smiled.

"Arcee, I recognize it right away when a 'Bot is upset…"

"No… Ultra Magnus, sir… It's just that I… could have come earlier… but I didn't. I didn't believe the words he said."

"I understand."

"Yeah, I know, but… Wait, what?"

"I understand. You've had quite a past with Starscream. I guess there are no words from me which could heal your wounds you got from the seeker. It is completely natural that you didn't trust him, if I would be you, I wouldn't trust him either… But I would trust my spark and what it's saying. And you didn't trust it right away, did you?"

"No," she said and lowered her head, "it is my entire fault. He could have done it…"

"It is no one's fault Arcee, maybe it was his fate."

She nodded her head while it was still lowered, hiding the sad look on her faceplate.

He started to walk away, but before he went out of the room, he said: "The smallest drop in the ocean can start a wave of emotion… Arcee. Do not forget about that."

She raised her head to look at him and then nodded her head, though she didn't understand the sentence at all.

Then, she was left alone. She didn't want to move… she wanted to stay to find out what happened to him. The guilt she felt wasn't letting her go; it was slowly suffocating the happiness she had felt before. She couldn't think of anything else, she knew it was her fault. So she stayed… She stayed for megacycles. She was staring at the sky all the time, and she didn't even realize that the day was already over. She was just staring at the stars at night. After a long time, she finally heard the door open and she turned around. Knock Out came out first, and his face wasn't looking very promising… His optic ridges were lowered, his lips were hung and he couldn't stop looking at the ground.

"Knock Out", she silently said and he looked at her for a second, but then returned to look at the ground, saying: "He was my friend… I didn't even notice it… But now that I remember all the stuff we've been doing together, there's no mistake… He was… no Breakdown… But I've always admired his lustrous finish", he slightly smiled and started to walk again.

Arcee's spark clenched from sadness and then she saw Ratchet coming out.

"Ratchet…"

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he was clearly surprised that she was waiting to hear about the results, she who despised the Decepticon so much.

"I… came back earlier to hear about him… Not that I care. Or anything", she quickly said and put her servos at her back.

"He", the orange medic suddenly stopped and Arcee's spark twisted and clenched, guilt filling her up. She knew if he'd die, she would never forgive herself. Not only had she spared his life the times he could go offline, now she ended his life without intending too. It was like every time she'd want to do something, the contrary would happen.

"Is he… dead?" she asked and he looked at her.

"No."

She felt relief in her spark.

"Not yet."

The pressure came back.

She was looking at him with her bright blue optics and he knew she wanted to know more. He couldn't tell what, but something in her optics was telling him that she did care a little after all.

"He is not done with his life yet… But we are certain it will end this very night. The leak isn't to be stopped. But at the bright side, he'll release all his cares; he will be put out of his misery."

She looked down to hide the sad expression on her face once again: "But… He was supposed to die because of me..."

"Arcee. It was too late… we should have done something about it earlier. The only thing which could save him now would be a miracle", with those words, he left the room and she was left behind another time. She was sad too… A bit too sad.

She wanted to see him once again, she wanted to say something so she wouldn't be the only one who refused to show any care for the silver mech. She felt safer when she was talking to 'Bots who couldn't answer her, and sometimes, it was better that way.

So she entered the med bay. The room was almost completely dark, the only source of light were the machines which were still keeping him alive, though not for long as Ratchet said. Energon was all over the berth, the cables were crannied and she couldn't look at him like this. He looked just like Tailgate after Airachnid was done with him… the only difference was that the seeker had sharp claws, a pointy chin, a different body structure, wings… and heels. He still had the same scratches and scars, nothing seemingly changed.

"Well… Screamer," she began talking, "we meet again. I imagined our next meeting like you would look back at me… and not just lifelessly lay at the berth."

She smiled, but the smile soon disappeared.

"I never liked you. In fact, I don't even like you right now, while you're dying. I just can't… I'll never forget what you did to Cliffjumper, and I won't forgive you either. He was suffering, he was helpless, but you were so brutal you didn't want to spare his life… I don't know if it was a personal matter or not, but I won't forget it anyways. But I did spare you… I did rescue you", she stopped.

"Oh, whom am I kidding…? I didn't help you… I even made it worse. I gave you hope and then crushed it with my bare hand… I provoked it, and it happened, in fact, it is happening right now. You're here suffering because of me… It is not that I don't dislike you; it is just that the grief is killing me… But you know what? I tried. Yes, I did. Unlike you, I", -She looked at the floor as she knew she didn't give him another chance.

"I at least saw the error I made… And I'm apologizing. I'm apologizing that I didn't believe you when you actually told the truth. And as much as I can't stand you, I have to accept the fact that I was wrong… And that my wish wasn't a real wish… My wish now… would be…"

She looked at him once again and sweetly smiled, saying: "You know what? My wish would be that you wouldn't die like this, I'd like to get a chance to kill you too. My wish, it is indeed… that you stay alive… That you don't leave yet… I think you have never experienced something beautiful, have you? Your world was made of pain and suffering, so why don't you just stay here so we could show you what it means to be a drop in the ocean… for real."

All of a sudden, she realized that having Starscream in their team wouldn't be the worst thing to have. In fact, she quickly befriended the idea of having him with them.

"We could teach you what it truly means to be alive… You wouldn't have to live in such a world… In a world of darkness. What was I thinking? Scream, I can't simply understand the pain you are in right now and before, but still…"

She stopped as soon as she realized that she had a friendly attitude towards the seeker which she disliked too much to look at him with normally-opened optics. But she knew that he could change if he'd want to… so she didn't retreat her wish. She looked at the stars and said: "Yes… My real wish is that you don't go away yet."

Then she looked back at him. His optics were tightly closed and his mouth half-opened just like when she saw him the first time.

"But just try to be against us, Scream… And I won't hesitate to offline you as soon as you wake up", as she said that, she started leaving the room, but before that, she turned around to look at him once again. He suddenly moved his claws again and her spark bounced up as she knew that there was a possibility for him to stay alive, no matter how small it was…

"Thank you for your time, Starscream", just as she said that, his chest rose up and he dug his claws into the berth.

"Good night", she stated, smiled and left the room, wondering why she would wish him a good night. Still, she just shrugged her shoulders and made her way back to her room.