Chapter 2: The Gang
"You guys got me covered right?" asked a teenage boy, under his breath as he swiftly swiped a loaf of bread. This boy had cropped, brown hair, a black jacket and jeans, and a red T-shirt.
"Sure thing." replied another boy with spiky, brown hair, blue eyes, giant yellow shoes, finger-less gloves, bright red pants, a black jacket with red lining, and a necklace shaped like a crown around his neck.
"Alright, HEADS!" called a silver robot.
"Then I be TAILS." called a man with tanned skin, dreadlocks, a mustache/beard, a white shirt, a brown vest, a red bandana, a tri-corn hat, brown pants, and boots.
The robot caught the coin, showing heads.
"Ha, in yo face!" the robot laughed.
"Bender, that coin be double-sided and you know it." the pirate muttered.
"Hey, it's not MY fault that ya didn't notice it, Jack Sparrow and Sora." Bender shrugged, "Also, why're we sayin' our names when we know who we are already?"
"Dunno." the spiky-haired teen, Sora, answered, "What do you think, Jaden?"
"I don't know either." The teen, Jaden, replied.
"STOP, THIEVES!" came a voice.
"And then Bender ran." Bender said, running off.
(start playing Guns & Roses right now)
Jaden looked over and saw a band of ninjas wearing masks jumping after them.
"It's just bread!" Jaden yelled, running off with Bender, Sora, and Jack Sparrow.
"Should see how they punish litterin', mate!" Jack yelled, dodging kunai and shuriken.
"Alright, the scene with the missing bread?" Jaden asked, looking over to his three cohorts.
"Sounds good!" Sora grinned, taking the bread and splitting off from the rest of the group. The ANBU followed him into an alley, "Okay, I surrender!"
"Well, that's nice." Commented the lead ANBU as he removed his mask, showing spiky, silver hair and a mask that covered most of his face. He was Kakashi.
"PSYCH!" came a voice. Bender stretched down before pulling away with Sora, who waved good-bye.
"Miserable brats!" shouted the second ANBU, pulling off his mask to show short, spiky black hair and red eyes. He was Kurogane.
The ANBU jumped over to the building to chase after the four thieves. Kurogane lunged at Sora, tackling him to the ground before putting the edge of his katana at his neck.
"Now, brat, give us the bread." he growled.
"Hey, chumps!" Bender called, opening his compartment and showing the bread, "Lookin' for THIS?"
"I HATE robots..." Kurogane growled.
"Computer programs, on the other hand..." the third ANBU said. He had no mask, but was clad in a purple, ninja outfit and had a bright, red scarf. He was Shadowman. He lunged at Bender, who threw the loaf of bred at Jack Sparrow.
"Ninjas!" Jack yelled, pulling out a flintlock, "This be a confrontation worth noting..."
"That's only one shot." Kakashi simply said.
"Aye, but that's all I need." Jack replied, pointing it into the air, "Gentlemen, you will ALL remember this as the day that four simple thieves evaded you!"
He fired. The roof was covered in pidgeons, all of whom took flight. During the confusing, the four had, quite simply, vanished.
"Perhaps I should go after those rats myself..." came a voice. The ANBU looked over to see that it was a man with the left side of his face bandaged, a black robe, and a patch of black hair.
"And why're you interested in those brats, Danzo?" Kurogane asked.
"Those four and I have had a history ever since they robbed my house." The man, Danzo, answered, "Their ringleader, Jaden, and I...left our marks on each other."
Danzo held up his arm (the one not covered in robes) and showed a pale scar running down it.
"Now, I shall pursue them." Danzo said, vanishing.
"Alright, we lost 'em again!" Jaden grinned, giving high-fives to his three cohorts.
"Law enforcement be one of the easiest to out-run." Jack Sparrow, "'Least in this day and age."
"Well, we got away with lunch and that's all that matters." Jaden grinned, pulling the bread out of Bender's compartment.
"Thieves." Came a voice. In a swirl of leaves, Danzo appeared.
"Oh no, it's Danzo again." Jaden said, shoving the bread back into Bender's chest.
"Stand down and face judgement for your crimes." Danzo ordered.
"Dude, we just stole some bread, it's not like we killed the Hokage." Jaden said.
"We DIDN'T kill the Hokage, did we not?" Jack asked.
"No, Jack, we DEFINITELY didn't." Sora said.
"Well, no harm, no foul, mate." Jack grinned.
Danzo's response was to draw a katana.
"Is this REALLY the best option, crossing blades with a pirate?" Jack asked, drawing his cutlass. Danzo's response was to slash with the katana through the cutlass, cutting its tip clean off, "I...guess so."
"Guys, let's get goin'!" Jaden yelled.
Jaden: Gotta keep
One jump ahead of the breadline!
Jaden ducked under a slash from Danzo, whose sword slashed deep into a house. Bender laughed at this, but quickly shoved his head into his chest to dodge another slash.
Jaden: One swing ahead of the sword!
Jaden slid under a slash from Danzo and tossed the bread to Sora.
Sora: We steal only what we can't afford!
"Which is everything!" Jack said as the four ran off.
Sora: One jump ahead of the ANBU
That's all...
Danzo began running after them, almost catching up and slashing. The resulting cut nicked one of Jack's dreadlocks.
Jack: And that's no joke!
Bender: This chump don't appreciate we're broke!
Bender jumped over to a pile of barrels and kicked them over. Danzo jumped over the obstacles and saw that the thieves were getting farther away.
Danzo: Riff-raff!
Street rats!
Scoundrels!
Take THAT!
Danzo pulled out a fist-full of shuriken and hurled them at the group. Bender yelled as the blades hit his metal body, but did no harm. The four hid in an alleyway. Jaden peeked out.
Jaden: It's just a little snack, guys!
"Uh...Jaden?" Sora said, fearfully. The leader looked over to see the ANBU they had evaded earlier.
Kurogane: Rip them open, take it back, guys!
Jaden: I can take a hint, gotta face the facts—
Bender reached over to a window with his extending arms. The other three grabbed onto his body as he swung away.
Jaden: The only guys I trust are YOU!
The four landed in a room filled with rather scantily-clad ladies. Jack Sparrow suddenly began flirting with them as Sora turned bright red.
Women: Who? Oh, it's sad, those four have hit the bottom! They've become a four-man rise in crime!
Bender saw some valuables laying around before immediately gathering them into his compartment. He snickered at that.
Jaden was looking for an exit, but found something more...unpleasant. Namely, another woman who was fully-dressed and had an oddly...angry look on her face.
Mother: I'd blame parents, except they haven't got 'em!
Jaden spotted a way out, namely a window. He ducked under a strike from the mother before rushing out with Sora and Bender.
"Where's Jack?" Sora asked.
Jaden looked over to see Jack flirting with the girls. Jaden laughed before walking over and grabbing Jack.
Jack: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat...
Jaden: He'll tell ya all about it, but we've got no time!
Jaden pulled Jack out the building before jumping out with his other two partners in crime.
Danzo looked around the streets and only saw four men sitting on the corner, looking like they were peddling artifacts.
Men: One jump ahead of the slow-pokes, one skip ahead of our doom...
Danzo walked over and tapped the flat-end of his katana onto one of the peddlers, resulting in a rather audible and hollow CLANG.
"Bite my shiny metal ass." The man snapped, revealing that he was Bender. The other three threw off their disguises, grabbed Bender, and ran.
Sora: Just run before we wind up in a tomb!
The four then bolted into a street just as a series of carts rolled by. Danzo scowled as the four seemed to vanish.
All four: One jump ahead of the hitmen
One hit ahead of the flock...
Danzo then saw the four were on the back of the very last cart.
Bender: I think we'll take a stroll around the block!
Danzo growled as he ran at the cart. The four jumped off before running through a small square of shops. Bender snatched everything that came into his reach, much to the rage of the shop-keepers.
Shop-keepers: Stop, thieves! Vandals!
"BENDER!" Jaden shouted.
"Found you." Danzo stated, pointing his katana at the four.
Jaden: Let's not be too hasty...
Suddenly, a rather large robot with a steamroller on its front rolled over.
Crushinator: Still, I think they are rather tasty...
"Later, baby." Bender said in a seductive tone.
Sora: Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat...
Jack: Otherwise, we'd get along.
"Not likely." Kakashi said as he appeared behind them.
"This Sparrow's gonna fly!" Jack proclaimed, jumping into a building with his three companions.
Danzo and the ANBU pursued the four thieves into the building. They noticed four still figures that resembled the four thieves, each clad in clown costumes.
"You don't have much respect for our intelligence, don't you?" Kakashi asked.
"No." Bender said, spraying whipped cream at Kakashi before running off with the other three while taking off their costumes.
Kakashi scraped the whipped cream off of his face before saying, "That's not funny."
The ANBU pursued the four thieves, who rushed out of the store and saw Danzo standing in front of them. Jaden pulled out a small sphere and tossed it on the ground, releasing a large explosion of smoke. They ran out, but were completely visible.
"We need better smoke bombs." Jaden said.
"Yeah, we do." Sora said.
Jaden then saw a stand filled with swords. He grabbed a scimitar and tossed bender a broadsword. Jack draw his cutlass and Sora summoned his Keyblade. The four wheeled over to the ANBU and Danzo.
"Watch it, we've got swords!" Jaden yelled in a playful voice, swinging his scimitar around.
"So do we." Kurogane simply stated as each ABU drew their blades.
"You should've put a little more thought into that." Sora said as the four resumed running.
Jaden: One jump ahead of the hoof-beats!
Kurogane: VANDALS!
Sora: One hop ahead of the hump!
Shadow-Man: Street rats!
Jack: One trick ahead of disaster!
Danzo: Take that!
Bender: They're quick, but we're much faster!
The four then came to a catapult and jumped in as Danzo threw a kunai at them. Jaden plucked the blade out of the air and held it up.
Jaden: Here it goes, better throw my hand in,
Wish us a happy landin'!
All we gotta do is FLY!
Jaden tossed the kunai at the lever. The force sent the lever down, sending the four flying.
"Why do we even have a catapult there?" Kakashi asked.
The four screamed as they flew through the air, conveniently landing on a giant pile of pillows located inside an orphanage.
"Thank goodness we didn't get splattered on the ground." Sora said.
"Yeah, YOU wouldn't." Bender said, reaching into his compartment and pulling out the bread and breaking it into three pieces. He pulled out a bottle of beer before chugging it and belching out a burst of flames.
Five orphans walked in at that point, looking at the strange intruders. Jaden looked ready to take a chomp out of his bread when he looked over at the orphans.
"Oh no, Mr. Jaden, I know that look! You're about to be GENEROUS!" Jack shouted, taking a bite out of his bread, "There, ya see? EAT! We nearly died getting this!"
Jaden had already stepped over and offered his share of the bread.
"Here ya go. Ya need it more than I do." He said with a gentle smile. The orphans quickly took it.
"You can have mine, too." Sora said, giving them his share as well.
"I curse you two, now ya guilt-tripped me into this!" Jack growled, tossing his bread at the orphans.
The orphans cheered at that as they began eating.
"Stupid humans, feeling GENEROUS..." Bender muttered.
Jaden and his team of thieves walked out of the orphanage. They then saw a small crowd gathering near the village's square. They slunk into the crowd and tried to keep themselves scarce. They immediately saw what was drawing the crowd—a girl with long, blonde hair and golden eyes walking to the center of the city.
"Well I'll be, it be Alexis Rhodes, the Hokage's daughter!" Jack said in a hushed voice.
They turned their gazes and saw a man with neatly-combed, pale blonde hair riding, proudly, on a horse towards Alexis.
"So, who's he supposed to be?" Jaden asked, "Diplomat or suitor?"
"If the Hokage's daughter's out, I'm saying suitor." Sora said.
"Better start takin' bets." Bender said, spinning his head until it parted company with his body. He held it out to the crowd before shouting, "Alright, place your bets! How long's he gonna last before getting' booted out onto the curb? Start the bets at $50!"
"Uh...Bender?" Sora asked, looking mortified.
"He's right behind me, isn't he?" Bender asked.
"Put your head back on, ya stupid pile of tin." The prince ordered.
"Hey, I'm only 40% tin." Bender said, screwing his head back on and noticing that the prince was right in front of him, "Oh, uh..."
"Miserable, Muggle invention!" the prince snarled, pulling out a wand, "I am Draco Malfoy, prince of the faraway land of-"
"Bite my shiny, metal ass." Bender stated before snickering. That crack got him blasted with a magic spell and sent him into a pile.
"HEY!" Jaden shouted, rushing over to Bender and helping him up, "If I was rich like you, I'd probably get some lessons on MANNERS."
"I'll show YOU manners." Draco scoffed, flicking his wand and sending Jaden into a pile beside Bender. The crowd began laughing at Jaden's humiliation.
"You okay, Jaden?" Sora asked as he and Jack ran over to help Jaden to his feet.
"Yeah, I'm good." Jaden muttered, dusting himself. He saw as Draco and the Hokage's daughter began walking away. A smirk crossed his face before saying, rather audibly, "Hey, guys, that's amazing! A horse with TWO butt cracks!"
Draco stopped his horse and looked over at the four with a snide expression and saying, "YOU are worthless vagabonds! That's all you shall ever be throughout your lives and, when you die, only your fleas shall mourn you!"
Draco then rode away with the Hokage's daughter, leaving the four in the dust. Jaden began running after Draco, an angry look on his face. Sora and Jack quickly ran after him and restrained him.
"Calm down, Jaden!" Sora said, "He's not worth it!"
"We're NOT useless!" Jaden growled, straining.
"Well, that much is obvious." Jack grunted, "But ya don't want to be messin' with the upper-class in this situation. Better to wait until he's in a dark ally..."
Jaden's struggles slowly came to a halt as he sighed in defeat. Sora and Jack released him. Jaden didn't even look at them before saying, "C'mon, guys. Let's go home..."
Jaden trudged away, Sora, Jack, and Bender following right behind him.
Jaden: Riff-raff
Street rats...
I don't buy that.
If only they'd look closer...
The four entered a run-down house with three cots, a small coffee table, two chairs, a plaque with about three swords on it, and multiple artifacts, most being pots, but also including a giant, golden penguin and a stone T-Rex with diamonds for eyes.
Jaden: Would they see some poor guys,
No siree...
Jack grabbed a bottle and shook it, hearing nothing.
"Why is the rum ALWAYS gone?" he asked himself as he slumped down onto one of the cots.
"Well, g'night." Bender said, leaning against a wall. A silver sheet slid over his eyes and he began snoring.
"It'll turn out better tomorrow, Jaden." Sora said, lying down on the second cot.
"Yeah, maybe..." Jaden sighed, looking out the window.
Jaden: They'd find out...
There's so much more...
To me.
"One of these days, guys, we're gonna hit it big." Jaden sighed, looking at the mountain with four faces carved into its side, "We're gonna be rich, live like kings, and never have any problems..."
"Kill all humans...kill all humans..." Bender moaned in his sleep.
"Uh, Bender?" Jaden asked, walking over and tapping Bender on the shoulder.
"Huh, wha-whazzit?" Bender yelled, waking up, "Oh, Jaden. I was just havin' the most beautiful dream...I think you were in it. Whatcha need?"
"Uh...nothing." Jaden simply said, rushing over to his cot and lying down.
"Oh, g'night." Bender said, falling asleep again. Almost immediately afterwards, he began moaning, "Kill all humans...kill all humans...kill all humans..."
Jaden tossed and turned in his bed, even as his three fellow criminals slept well. He WOULD get a better life for his friends. He just knew it...