"Blimey! This is madness…my flatmate's a girl?" Erik exclaimed to himself. "And a devil too!"
Right after he placed the girl's luggage in front of the room opposite of his, Erik immediately ran into his room. As he sat on the edge of his bed, pondering on how to survive living with the devil's spawn, his phone rang. As much as Erik wanted to ignore the blaring sound of his ringtone, he just simply cannot. With a sigh, he picked up the call, without looking at the screen for the name of the contact.
"He—"
"You bloody berk! Where the fuck on Earth are you?" A male voice boomed through the speaker soon as Erik answered his phone. He winced at the loud voice and pulled the phone away from his ear while waiting for the ringing in his ear stopped.
"Hey, Maddox. Nice to hear from you too." Erik nonchalantly greeted his friend. "Why are you swearing at me as if you're not a bloody berk too? You know we're just the same."
"Arsehole." His friend muttered under his breath. "I'm in front of your unit. Been knocking on your door since 10 minutes ago. Just open the fucking door!" Maddox groaned into his phone, and then Erik heard a tiny 'hello' from Maddox. Perhaps he was greeting someone.
Erik cocked his brows, tilting his head to the side. "What in the bloody world are you talking about? I've been standing in the living room since fifteen minutes ago. Didn't even hear the sound of your knuckle hitting the wood." As he was talking to Maddox through his phone, he got up from his bed and went out of the room to go to the front door. "…and where the actual fuck are you?"
"I'm in front of your unit for God's sake!"
"There's no you, you twat!"
There was a pregnant pause between them. After a few seconds, there was some rustling sound coming from the other line. "Wait…is your unit's number 307?"
Erik sighed, his head felt light when he realized that maybe his friend had mistakenly gone to the wrong flat unit. "You got the wrong unit number, you moron. My unit's just a floor below."
He heard Maddox muttered a tiny curse and laughed to himself. "Sorry," Maddox muttered his apology before hanging up. Just a few minutes later, Maddox came into Erik's line of sight. The shorter boy grinned, shaking his head when his friend made his way towards him.
"So, who's the bloody berk now?" Erik asked, grinning widely when Maddox scratched his head and apologised again with an equally silly grin. Erik chuckled, patting his friend's shoulder before he hugged his friend. "It's okay. Come on in."
When Maddox got into the small flat, he was astonished by the rather simple yet elegant interior design. "Wow, this place feels like home," He exclaimed before plopping himself onto the couch. "A minimalistic home for a minimalist bachelor like my handsome friend."
Erik smiled and leaned against the counter. "It's nice isn't it? Can't believe it's quite nice too…it's just two-two-five quid a month. Quite low, isn't it?"
Maddox hummed, nodding his head as he looked around. "I think your landlord is quite generous too. Although these furniture does look worn out but it is comfortable. They designed the interior really well."
"Indeed." Erik chuckled when Maddox lay his body on the small couch. His large frame almost swallow the whole couch itself with his arms dangling on the sides and his feet on the armrest. "Would you like some tea?" he asked. The other boy just nodded as he made himself comfortable.
While he was preparing a cup of tea for his friend, his housemate came into the kitchen. Before he could stop himself, his mouth beat him to it. "Ah, here comes Your Majesty."
If look could kill, Erik would have never been Erik. Tiffany glared at him with a murderous intent before her expression took an 180-degree change. "And here's the obedient puppy! How's your arms? Are they okay? Pity you."
Shocked was an understatement. Before he could get over his surprise, Erik found himself speechless as he watched the girl went to grab his orange juice carton and drank straight out of it without even bothering to ask whom it belonged to or even have the decency to drink it out of a glass.
"Didn't your father taught you to drink out of a cup or anything similar to it rather than out of the carton itself?" Erik asked. Tiffany stopped drinking and looked at him with a mysterious smile on her face.
She screwed the carton's cap and put it back into the fridge, all the while smiling like a psycho. "I was thirsty and I don't know if the glasses are all clean. Was it your juice? Thanks for the juice!"
With that, Tiffany walked away from the fridge, laughing when she saw how stupid Erik looked. Before she was out of the kitchen area, Erik said, "It's not even 24-hours yet, and here you're being such a pain in the arse."
Tiffany turned to him and made an ugly face—or at least that was what Erik thought of but even so, he thought that she still looked pretty too. "Your friend is hotter than you, by the way," she said, totally ignoring his remark before. With that, she walked away and went to her room.
"Unbelievable…" Erik shook his head, mumbling.
"Yeah…and a hot one too," Maddox said from behind him.
"Fuck!"
Maddox laughed when he saw how surprised his friend was and did not even stop when Erik accidentally spilled the hot tea which he had prepared for his friend onto his feet.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Tiffany!"
No sound from inside.
"Tiffany!"
Erik was about to knock on her door again when the door suddenly opened and instead of his knuckles hitting the door, it hit Tiffany's forehead. Lucky, he did not put much force on it.
"You stupid fuck! What was that for?!" Tiffany exclaimed, hitting Erik as a retaliation.
Erik's eyes widened when he realized what he had done and immediately apologized, all the while laughing at the funny accident. "I didn't mean it! You opened the door right when I was about to knock your door!"
"Bullshit! I know you were meaning to knock on my head anyway!"
Erik scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He shook his head and sighed. "I'm just informing you that I'm going out to buy groceries to fill the fridge. Lock the door."
Tiffany's ears perked up at the word 'going out' and immediately felt the chill of staying alone in the flat. "Wait! I'm coming with you." She said, and without waiting for him to respond, she ran around in her room, setting herself up.
In a few minutes, she was ready to go. Erik snorted. "I guess I forgot to tell you that I'm going alone."
"And I didn't forget to tell you that I'm coming with you." Tiffany quickly replied, closing the door behind her.
"I'm sorry, in case you heard it wrong or maybe you can't read between the line, I meant that I am going alone. You're going on your own, woman." Erik said, and then walked away to the front door.
"You jerk! Wait for me!" Tiffany yelled and pulled the door that Erik intend to shut on her before quickly getting out. "I told you I'm coming with you!" she hissed, almost hitting Erik's arm.
The young man frowned and looked at Tiffany in curiosity as he closed the door and locked it. "Why are you so adamant in tagging along with me?"
Tiffany breathed out harshly and almost whine. Almost. "I'm scared of being alone in the apartment. It's my first day here."
"Well, young lass, it's my first day here too." Erik said, his head cocked to the side with an amused smile on his face. And here I thought she's as brave as a knight, he thought. "And there's a security guard downstairs for a reason." Her confession made him let out a low rumbling of laughter.
"And here I thought the grumpy lady was very brave, considering she didn't even asked who the orange juice carton in the fridge just now and drank like a drunk barbarian."
Tiffany glared at him and almost hit him. "It's night time you idiot! What do you expect?!"
Erik hummed and nodded. "Okay then." Erik turned away from her and started walking away to the stairway at the end of the hall.
"Don't you feel paranoid living alone at night especially in a place you're unfamiliar with?" Tiffany tried to start a conversation. More like trying to reason herself out in the situation.
Erik found it funny and entertaining but he hid it well with shrug of his shoulders and shook his head. "No."
"I'm a girl!"
"So?"
"So?" Tiffany exclaimed and then groaned in frustration but she still followed Erik. She was annoyed but she knew can only do nothing about it. Not like punching him would help in the situation either. Instead of going with her desire to plant a punch on his arm—with a great force, too—she kept quiet, in fear of being left alone if ever she did followed her desire.
After he opened the door to the staircase, things went quiet. Tiffany being Tiffany tried to at least create a small talk—because in all actuality, she hated silence—although they just had a silly feud a few moments ago. "I'm a fashion student at Middlesex U," Tiffany said, subtly introducing herself.
Erik looked at her and smiled with his brows raised. "Not bad. I'm an engineering student." He said, pausing for a moment. "Middlesex U too. Came here last year."
"Same. Hi, batch-mate."
"Officially hi."
For the first time, they finally talked to each other without snarling. Well, at least not yet.
…
"Just go grab your own cart, God damn it!"
Just when she thought they were going to a good start, Erik went on being idiotic. Tiffany thought that they would go on their separate ways for grocery shopping, because COMMON SENSE. Instead, Erik went along with her and followed her around while nonchalantly throwing his things into HER cart.
His reason for sharing a shopping cart was that he feared that Tiffany will lose him in that big supermall. Why? Because Erik adamantly told her that little children often got kidnapped in a shopping mall and be sold to the child trafficking ring.
To make it short, Erik was implying that Tiffany IS a little child.
"Just focus on your own shopping list, you minger," Erik said, eyes on the candy rack. Swiftly, he took two packets of gummy bears and threw it into her cart.
Tiffany halted and looked at his back figure in disbelief. "Will you just stop calling me names in your alien language? I'm an American for God's sake, I don't know like half of what you're saying!" She exclaimed in annoyance. The shopping cart by her side, and her hands were clutched by her sides, too.
Definitely an adorable sight.
"Yeah? And I'm a French." Erik retaliated absent-mindedly before he came to realise what she meant. He laughed in amusement and shook his head as he looked at Tiffany's irritated facial expression. This devil is so cute when she's all red, Erik grinned and leaned his hand onto the nearby shelf in the aisle.
He heard Tiffany groaned before stomping her way towards him. "I meant to say that don't say something in your slang that I don't fucking know."
"Goodness! You've got such a potty mouth!" Erik exclaimed, pretending that he was shocked with his hand on his chest and his head pulled back in disgust. Erik was looking down at her—because she was only the height of his chest—and grinned. "Honey, you can just check with Mr Google about some British insults…or slangs."
Tiffany rolled her eyes and groaned, huffing in a very typical spoilt girl's manner. "Thank you so much for the tip. Now I can happily live ever after knowing the swear words you asked me to search for!"
Seeing her being so annoyingly sarcastic, Erik could not hide his slight displeasure either and responded with an equally sarcastic remark. "My pleasure, Your Majesty. It's a very big honour for me to help you although I have to say that my arse is in pain all the while I'm with you."
If Tiffany were a viewer of the feud, she would have laughed uncontrollably, but it was her the remark being shot at. Tiffany could not just back down. No, not to this dim-witted nerd—if Erik even deserved to be called a nerd considering how idiotic he sounded to her. "I don't remember having a dick for me to bring pain to your ass."
With the horrified look on his face, she knew she was winning. Erik's facial expression was priceless.
Tiffany Hang Miyoung was certain that she was winning this game.
…
Of course, their bickering did not stop there.
When they were about to pay for their, the cheerful cashier just had to add fuel to the fire by saying that he was rooting for relationship. The boy said—guiltily admit—that he was watching their squabbling through the CCTV in the aisles and said that he loved every moment of it although he could not hear what they were bickering about.
Denying did not work, and so does explaining. Tiffany just had to add more and more fuel by acting as if she was mad that Erik was denying their relationship status. In the end, the poor boy had to pay for both of their things. Mostly Tiffany's.
"You bloody shit! I thought I told you to split our things!" Erik exclaimed right after they got out of the supermarket. He was extremely livid that she had the cheeks to cling on to him and made him paid for the pile of things. "That extra seventy quid were your things! YOUR THINGS!"
"Oh come on now, I did tell you to get your own cart. Not entirely my fault." Tiffany shrugged and walked ahead, leaving him with the heavy bags in his hands. "Besides, I didn't say that I agreed to split our stuffs, did I?"
"You munter. I regretted letting you come with me. Fucking pillock. Should've just left you alone when I got the chance." He muttered under his breath before picking up his pace. "I swear, one of these days I'm going to be driven by my deep desire to kill you."
"Oh trust me, the feeling is deeply mutual."
It was a good thing that their flat was a fifteen minutes' walk from the mall, or else, Erik's arms were going to fall off if they had to walk any longer. Tiffany was no help, too. Not a bit of sympathy did she felt when she saw Erik struggling with the grocery bags, even when he asked for her help.
"Hey berk, unlock the door," Erik said when he reached the front door of their flat unit. Tiffany deliberately walked slower, just for the sake of bugging him. "Oh God have mercy! I didn't even know my housemate is a turtle!"
"And this turtle have a name. So rather than calling me stupid, it'd be nice of you to call me by my name." Tiffany said, with a dirty smirk on her face.
Erik grimaced and cocked his brows. "You've studied. Good job. But that doesn't mean I'll stop giving out free slangs." He grinned when he caught the look of anger on Tiffany's face. "Now, will you be nice enough to unlock the door to let us both in?"
"I can't believe I had to live with you for this whole term," Tiffany said, glaring at the boy who was definitely preoccupied with the stuff in his hands.
"Me neither." Erik sighed after he set the grocery bags on the kitchen counter. "And to think that I had to face the fact that I'll bump into you at the campus. It's so frustrating…"
"I know, right! Day one and I'm regretting the fact that I was happy I get to live on my own this morning. You came along, and BAM! There goes my happiness." Tiffany exclaimed, coming on to his side to pick out her own groceries.
"Yeah, said the girl who was rude to me the moment her family left her here." Erik retaliated, sounded so nonchalantly that Tiffany could not stop herself from stepping on his feet. "Ouch! What was that for?"
"Just because." Then she walked away to sit on the couch in the living room with a triumphant grin on her face.
"Almost 24-hours and you're being violent. Oh lord, save me from this devil." Erik said, intentionally raising his voice to let Tiffany hear him as he keep the groceries in its place.
"And oh lord, please get rid of that lanky bad guy. I'll die if he stays here any longer." Tiffany responded in the same way as his.
The rustling sound of paper stopped. Tiffany looked at the kitchen and saw him holding her cup of pudding. Her eyes widened when she saw him tore the package and before she could stop him, Erik scooped a large amount of it and devoured the caramel pudding. HER caramel pudding.
"You! You moocher! That's MY pudding!" Tiffany yelled, getting up and runned to him.
Erik smirked and scooped another large chunk before stuffing the sweet treat into his mouth as he ran away from her. "Yum! When did it become yours? I paid for it." He said after swallowing and stuck out his tongue before running away to his room with Tiffany trailing behind him with her short legs.
Tiffany's eyes and mouth were wide open in shock. Her fists clenched, eyes burning with the intent of beating him up. "It's mine! That pudding was the only pack I saw! Give it back!" she shouted at his back.
To her horror, the pack was already empty the moment he got into his room. Erik had a winning smile on his face while he held up the empty pack. "Oops! Can't give it back. It's in here already. Sorry." He patted his stomach before slamming the door close.
Tiffany could not even comprehend the perfect response for him as she was beyond mad by his antic.
"I declare a war between you and me!"
Definitely not going to be a good term for them.