Yes, I am still alive :]

Sorry for the long hiatus. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

On a more random note... anyone read the book Water for Elephants? If you haven't, I definitely recommend it. Anyways… they're turning it into a movie starring Reese Witherspoon! Just thought I'd share that exciting piece of news with ya'll.

The Ups and Downs of Marriage

Chapter 2
The Proposal

"Honey, your dignity's going to fly right out the window once he findsf out you're lying to him!"f

"I am never leaving this apartment again! I have never, ever been so humiliated in my life!" Ino cried as she reached for the hundredth box of tissue. "I just felt so stupid going up there and seeing him and that filthy blonde! She gives all her fellow blondes a bad name!"

"I'm sorry, honey," Sakura whispered, putting her arms around her weeping friend, "It was all my fault. I should never have forced you to go talk to him."

"No, no, it was bound to happen sooner or later," Ino sniffed, "I'm just glad I didn't tell him what I wanted to say."

"So what did you say to him after you saw... her."

Ino felt her heart sink. Honestly, out of all the men she could've said... she just had to say his name.

"I... umm..." Ino stammered, trying to arrange the jumble of words in her head into something coherent. She turned around to face Sakura and gave a big, plastic smile, "You know what, Sakura, I feel like we've been talking about me far too much lately. What's going on with you?"

"Ino..." Sakura gave her a warning look, "What did you say to Shikamaru?"

"You know... So, any men in your life?"

"Ino! Did you tell him something you shouldn't have?"

"I... might have..." Ino replied slowly.

"It's either a yes, or a no."

"Okay fine, fine! I told him something I shouldn't have!" Ino cried, burying her head in her hands, "There! Happy now? I said it!"

"Oh God Ino! What did you say to him?"

"Okay, you have to understand that I was desperate!" Ino whimpered as her eyes began to fill up with tears again, "When I saw him with her I just... I don't know! I couldn't tell him what I was going to say! So I... kind of told him that..."

"You told him you were pregnant, didn't you!" Sakura gasped.

"No!" Ino gave Sakura withering look, "How desperate do you think I am? Of course no! I just told him that I was seeing something too and that we were both on the same page."

"And that's better?"

"Hey, at least I got to keep my dignity!"

"Honey, your dignity's going to fly right out the window once he finds out you're lying to him. Are you just going to go out... and find a random guy and date him?"

"Well... I kind of had a guy in mind already." Ino replied slowly.

"What? You gave your imaginary boyfriend a name too?" Sakura exclaimed, "Sweetie, I'm not trying to put you down and all, but this is just-"

"I told him I was seeing Sasuke." Ino blurted out.

Oops?

She didn't quite know how it happened. The words just kind of came tumbling out of her like vomit.

"Oh... My... God" Sakura stared at her friend, speechless. "I... I don't know... what... what... how... why? I... I don't understand. Sasuke? Uchiha, Sasuke? That guy? Are... are we talking about the same guy here?"

"Is your guy a pompous ass?" Ino asked.

"Okay, we're definitely talking about the same guy." Sakura gaped at her, "You're going to ask him out!"

"Well, not... seriously, anyways." Ino replied slowly, "I'm going to explain the situation to him and hopefully he'll... understand. I mean, if worse situation comes, I'll give him a little... something."

"You're going to have sex with him!"

"No! I meant money, Sakura! I'll... pay him to be my pretend boyfriend."

"You know what-" Sakura began, but a beeping sound interrupted her, "Oh sweetie, I have to go now. The hospital's beeping me in." She got up to leave, "But I'll stop by tonight to check up on you. Listen, don't do anything stupid again while I'm gone! We'll... discuss this when I get back. I'll bring by some food. You can't live off of ice cream and expired cereal forever. Oh and I'm also bringing air freshener."

"Oh, don't get the air freshener with the freaky baby picture on it! It's so weird and disturbing!"

"Yes, Ino," Sakura rolled her eyes as she headed for the door, "Babies are weird and disturbing but lying to your husband and telling him you're dating a guy you barely know and then actually to bribe the guy to be your pretend boyfriend is completely normal and sane."

OXO

"Shikamaru, will you just go talk to her? I'm sure she'll understand."

"No Chouji, you don't understand. She's over me already. She came over to ask for my permission to date... some guy she met at a bar."

The overweight man frowned slightly, "Ino? Meeting some guy at a bar?"

"Okay, not just some guy..." Shikamaru sighed as he leaned back onto his arms, "The most troublesome guy in all of Konoha..."

"Naruto?"

"Nope."

"Rock Lee?"

"Nope."

"Kiba's dog?"

"Nope- wait. What?"

"Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood here."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at Chouji's pathetic attempt at humour, "It's Uchiha, Sasuke."

"What! That guy that all the girls talk about?"

"That's the one. The one that all the girls swarm to... kind of like you on fried bacon." Shikamaru mused, slightly shocked that he could still make a joke at a time like this.

Chouji opened a bag of chips and looked up at the sky thoughtfully before replying, "You know... something just doesn't seem right."

"Hm?"

"I mean I can see Ino going into a bar and getting wasted... but with Uchiha? It just doesn't make any sense. Didn't he reject her years ago when she chased after him?" Chouji continued, "If he didn't find her attractive then I doubt he'd find her raging-emotional-hormonal-drunken side any better."

Shikamaru shrugged his shoulders, "That man is full of surprises. Who knows..."

"Wait, so why were you with Temari anyways?" Chouji suddenly asked, "You don't... love her, right?"

"Hell no," Shikamaru replied quickly, "It's just that..." He paused for a moment, "I... I never thought it was going to end up like this."

"What?"

"I mean, after she told me she wanted a divorce, I guess I just didn't really... believe her. You know how Ino is sometimes and how damn troublesome she can get. I thought she was just PMSing and that this whole entire thing would blow over in a couple of days. But after the second week... she still didn't call. I began to get really worried. I went to a bar for a while and coincidentally, Temari was visiting that day and I saw her there. We got to talking and somehow... we started talking about Ino and I told her what happened... The next thing I knew, I woke up in bed next to her."

Chouji looked at his best friend, speechless.

Shikamaru buried his head in his hands, "God damn it... this is so fucking troublesome. Now Ino's got the idea that I'm dating Temari."

"Hey, Shikamaru!" a feminine voice called out to him, momentarily distracting the two men.

"Huh? What?" Shikamaru stood up and looked around, spotting someone with pink hair running towards him, "Sakura?"

She ran up, huffing and puffing for air, clutching her side, "I'm... so... glad... I... -gasp- found... -cough- you... looking... every-sneeze-where!"

Shikamaru looked dumbfound, "What? What do you need me for?"

Sakura composed herself and stood up straight, "So I can give you this."

She then promptly punched him across the face.

Of course, this wasn't just a regular punch... considering the fact that it came from Sakura.

Shikamaru fell to the ground and clutched his nose as blood poured out, "What the hell! What was that for!"

Sakura didn't say anything. She merely glared at him angrily, her eyes flashing red.

"God damn it, Shikamaru!" She yelled at him, before running off, "You're ruining everything!"

As the bloodied man tried to clean himself, he silently cursed the Sakura. "What the hell's her problem?"

Chouji, who has been silent for a while, still in shock over what just happened, finally replied, "I... think she probably heard something from Ino. They are best friends, after all."

"Then why is Sakura angry at me? Ino is exactly where I am as far as this relationship goes."

Chouji shrugged his shoulders.

"Troublesome women... once you've met one of 'em, you've met 'em all."

OXO

Okay, you can totally do this. Just... remember to breath...

Ino made her way up the stairs... towards Sasuke's apartment.

She mentally prepared a speech to tell him. She was going to be totally honest with him and tell him everything... and hope for the best.

She gently knocked on his door.

"Who is it?" She heard a gloomy voice call out from inside.

"Er- it's... Ino. I need to talk to you about something." Ino replied back, her heart pounding.

The door opened slowly and Sasuke's head peeked out. "What?"

"Um... Hi, how are you?" Ino stuttered, "Nice weather we're having today, eh?"

Sasuke gave her a withering look, "Did you come here just to chitchat? Because I honestly have no-"

"No, no!" Ino quickly replied, "Nothing like that! I sort of have a... um... favor to ask you."

He looked at her suspiciously, "What do you want?"

"I-made-a-really-really-stupid-mistake-with-my-exhusband-and-I-accidentally-told-him-you-and-I-were-dating-so-now-I-really-need-you-to-pretend-to-be-my-boyfriend-because-he-apparently-has-a-girlfriend-and-I-really-don't-want-to-lose-my-dignity-so-please-help-me."

"Okay"

Ino blinked and stared at Sasuke, "What did you say?"

"Okay. I'll do it."

Ino was speechless. After a few seconds, she managed to garble out some nonsense, "Wait... um... I... I don't... I don't understand. I don't... how did you- wait a minute..."

Sasuke gave her a withering look, "Do you have a speech impediment or something?"

Ino continued to stare at Sasuke in shock.

Sasuke sighed and then moved his face closer to Ino. So close that Ino could almost count his eyelashes and see the soft grey flecks in his eyes. She could feel his cool breath on her ear as he whispered to her, "I'll pick you up at seven."

He then proceeded to slam the door in her face.

Now what the hell was that about? How did- What just- He said-

Ino stood in front of Sasuke's door, at a complete loss for words.

What the hell just happened?

Hope you all enjoyed that!
Thanks very much to all those who reviewed!
Sorry if that chapter was a little slow... don't worry though, shits def. going to go down next chapter! I guarantee it! :]

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Till next time,
OnlyTheGoodDieYoung

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