A/N: And now we get to the main story…with me trying my hand at smut. Lots of cursing thanks to Cid abusing the f-word. If there are any ladies out there reading this, then please pardon my French. Read and review, would you kindly?
Two Years Later…
"Come on Vince, you fucking emo bastard!" yelled Cid, dragging his friend to the Golden Saucer, "You never want to fucking leave that fucking house ever since your fucking divorce finalized! And I fucking know that all you fucking do all fucking day is mope the fuck around with that poor fucking chocobo of yours and that fucking small tree garden! Now we are fucking here at the fucking entertainment center of the fucking world, we are going to fucking drink that fucking two-timing slut out of your fucking system with the strongest fucking lager and sakè we can get you, and we are going to fucking introduce you to some other fucking two-timing slut so that you can fuck her fucking stupid bitch-ass brains out. As a matter of fucking fact, I fucking expect you to fuck her so fucking bad and so fucking hard that Lurcrecia is fucking out of your system! And besides, Shera is going to be fucking upset with me if I don't at least fucking do something to make sure you don't fucking blow your fucking brains out—and don't worry your fucking prissy head about treating me or paying me the fuck back, I'm fucking treating and you're fucking going to fucking enjoy it you fucker!" Cid then caught sight of everybody in the ticket line staring at him. "WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING BASTARDS STARING THE FUCK AT?! WE DON'T FUCKING SWING THAT FUCKING WAY! AND BESIDES, DON'T YOU FUCKING SHITHEADS NOTICE THE FUCKING WEDDING RING?! FUCK OFF!!!"
Vincent simply scowled and put his fingers onto the bridge of his nose in embarrassment as Cid continued to drag him on—when Cid Highwind is angry, the amount of cursing that leaves his lips would have his mother Rebecca stuffing his mouth with soap for eternity from beyond the grave, and he had the habit of using the word 'fuck' more often than any other person in the world when riled up and angry. As a matter of fact, he'd probably hold the records of "Heaviest user of the f-word in the world" and "Foulest tongue in the world". But nonetheless, he was right; it had been a year since his divorce from Lucrecia was finalized, and all he had been doing aside from his relatively new position as principal, was "mope the fuck around" all alone in the house they had shared together while she supposedly became happy with the man she had cheated on him with, while he took care of Miyuki and maintained his bonsai garden.
A small world actually—who would have thought that a man who looks so much like an ass as Hojo does; the man who had tortured him with sadistic enthusiasm day in and day out during Vincent's forced tour as a Turk, and quite possibly the biggest prick the world had ever seen, would have caught the attention of such a sweet and comely woman such as Lucrecia Crescent? Life was indeed full of ironies—even his son Sephiroth looked nothing at all like his sire, taking after his own mother. A shame that he won't be in that boy's life as a father, considering the circumstances…the court had awarded custody of him to Lucrecia—whether the look of contrition on Lucrecia's face upon hearing that she would be taking care of her son was actually real or a lie, he didn't know…it was as if he never knew her from the start. The entire jury had even seen fit to empty all of his pockets due to the lawyer she had and rubbed it in his face, by rewarding an asshole like Hojo for making his life miserable with every cent he had worked hard for up to that point—there was indeed no justice in this world. If it were through nonconsensual reasons, Vincent would have forgiven it—but Lucrecia had every chance to refuse, or at least to say 'no', but she couldn't resist him whispering sweet nothings into her ear, even if she was a bit tipsy at the time.
"Okay, Shera said 'male bonding time' eh? Well what says you to hitting the fucking chocobo races first?" Cid dragged Vincent over to the stadium—during that hour, he didn't have a chance to enjoy the race with Cid's profanity cursing the fact that Vincent had won the jackpot, when yellow chocobo number 12, named "Mother Mary" had miraculously beaten the other eleven birds in the race when everyone else had tripped while she ran past all of them. When Cid asked why Vincent always wins at any wager whenever they gamble against each other, Vincent simply replied, "I'm not sure myself…for some reason I tend to luck out in these kinds of events…if it were in real life, I don't know how lucky I really am, but for some reason, Lady Fortuna favors me in the wagering of money."
Noticing the slight change of mood in his friend, Cid pat Vincent over the back, and started walking with him over to the next stop to celebrate his victory…a bar known in the Golden Saucer to have served their spiciest homemade brew of Wutainese sakè…the alcohol that Vincent tended to favor over any other. Cid never did see what was so good about spicy alcohol, but at least it may help to cheer his best friend's spirits after what had happened to him. And it was a good thing too for tonight—Vincent had not been laid in a long time, and he was very close to getting fired because of it…perhaps a visit to a prostitute may help rid him of all that pent-up sexual frustration he's had to deal with for the past year or so, and help him get his job back on the ball. The reason being that he won't take it out on those poor students, parents, and teachers (even Barrett, the PE teacher and one of his friends, was scared shitless in his presence); they're already scared of him as it is after his divorce, they don't need to be scared to the point of suicide.
Vincent and Cid sat around at "The Wutainese Sakura", sipping away at the ginseng-soaked sakè mixed in with wasabi powder. The taste was a mixture of both sweet and spicy—like needles piercing the taste buds, and then a rush of water coming to cool the tongue. "You know, this is actually quite good," said Cid, after putting out his cigarette and helping himself to his first shot, "you've actually got good taste here." "I'm surprised Cid," said Vincent, "I never thought you'd enjoy something you didn't really understand…but for me, nothing really calms my nerves down like a shot of sakè from home."
"I'll drink to that." At that, Vincent and Cid cheered…although Vincent was still very much depressed, the fact that at least he had friends that cared brought his happiness up by a tick. The sakè really did help out in relaxing him—no matter the trouble, ginseng-soaked sakè mixed with wasabi powder always does the job. At the sound of drums sounding out, an awkward-looking man appeared from the stage of the bar.
"Ladies and Gentlemen!" called out the muscle-bound man known only as Dio, "We have a special treat for you tonight! A frequent customer of ours, Don Corneo has unfortunately passed on due to unforeseen circumstances…and so, due to the laws we have here, we hold an auction for everything! And so everything must go! Pets! Furniture! And even weapons! And without further ado, we shall begin with the pet auction! Victor, bring out the first pets!"
Vincent immediately read the code-talk…he knew that Dio cared an insanely large amount when it came to his family and professional lives. Don Corneo, unfortunately being the stupid pervert he was, had apparently never been privy to this amount of tender loving care. From the gossip that Vincent had heard in his frequents to the underworld, Don Corneo had made the mistake of raping Dio's daughter, taking off with all her money and a chunk of his, and fled to Costa Del Sol. And when Dio says 'unforeseen circumstances', he always meant 'unforeseen consequences'…from what Vincent had heard, Dio had some men corner Don Corneo in his own house, and brought him before the earlier to torture him. Knowing Dio's habits from the times he was hired from the Turks to do a hit, Vincent knew that Don Corneo was somewhere in this bar, being tortured as this auction was going on.
Pets on the other hand, were the most well-known vocabulary to anyone…especially to those who have at the very least been to the underworld. Pets are essentially criminals-turned-prostitutes. They say that to be a pet is a bit better than being incarcerated in any jail as the offender loses his or her freedom either way—it's just that being a pet means that you are that person's sex slave. To identify themselves, pets are to wear a collar at all times and are forced to obey regulations as pets.
As Vincent continued to watch the walkway, he saw two pets, both female, straddling each other between the legs while embracing each other in a passionate kiss that soon ceased as one of the pets broke the kiss from the lips, and started kissing her partner on the neck before sticking out her tongue and licking her down to her left breast, stopping to tease the nipple with her tongue before moving on to the abdomen and moving back and forth five times before resuming the path to tease the clitoris, and then ending off with a cunnilingus. A pet auction always meant that someone would not be going home alone—when pets are auctioned, paperwork has to be filled out, and the collar must remain around the neck even after the bid has been won…especially when the said pet had become permanently registered. The show that has been choreographed had been set up to rig the auctions so that there would be a distraction should the bids be continuing on…should anyone be stupid enough to fall for such a ruse.
As soon as the teased pet came, the two of them were purchased by a young and cocky redhead in an indigo suit that signified him as a Turk. Although it was not uncommon for a Turk to purchase pets, Vincent was not really one of them…he believed that bedding a pet was generally too easy, and that in the long run, actual feelings would do better than a justified whore, as someone who would actually return the feelings of love back would be a better wife or husband—plus he enjoyed the challenge. If he wanted a one-nighter, then all he had to do was see an actual prostitute and problem solved, but Vincent was looking for something more serious than a one-night stand at the moment…he wanted someone whom he can get to know, and someone who wanted to get to know him.
As the next pet was brought out, his attention was turned to her as she walked down the walkway: she had short dark chestnut hair, stormy gray eyes, and a very petite and almost sticklike frame—she looked familiar…as soon as she crossed by Vincent, she froze for a moment, and turned her head away quickly. But that moment was all it took for Vincent to register who it was that he had seen…it was Yuffie Kisaragi, his best student during his history class. What in the world was she doing as a pet?
"This lovely lady here was caught stealing materia from our dearly departed friend and turned into a pet just prior to his untimely demise," Dio began, as Yuffie began to sway her hips and her top slowly, "she could very well steal from you, or for you...whichever you prefer! And in other news, we are lucky tonight—for she was taken just as she was about to turn filthy…that's right folks, this girl is as untouched as white snow. And now, the auction shall commence!" shouted Dio, "We shall begin the bid with 100,000 gil! And the race is on in…5…4…3…2…1…Begin!" The auction began when the redheaded Turk started with 150,000 gil, only to be promptly beaten out by a blond woman offering 300,000 gil. The bidding war between the redhead and the blond continued until the blond offered 1,000,000 gil. A mustached man decided to jump in and bid 10,000,000 gil for Yuffie. And just when everything looked up for the man in the mustache, Vincent had just interrupted Dio from making the deal final with a bid of 150,000,000 gil—the exact number he had earned in his jackpot from the chocobo races! And with nobody to dispute this amount, Vincent had won the auction as soon as Dio had finished the countdown.
The drive to Nibelheim Way from the Golden Saucer was long and silent. Yuffie simply looked away from Vincent in shame while Cid drove his Ford Gran Torino down the highway that led to his house. Vincent on the other hand was more concerned about the manila folder that he had in his hands, with Yuffie's paperwork in it. As soon as he opened the folder he saw a red sheet of paper—meaning that Yuffie had been marked as a code red pet…no doubt because Don Corneo had a habit of blowing things out of proportion when attractive-looking women were concerned; a habit that had benefitted his perverse tastes for so long.
"150,000,000 gil," said Cid, "150 fucking million gil you won from a fucking miracle, and you fucking squander it all on some fucking bitch! Really Vince, what the fuck? You need that money big time!"
"Cid, do please shut up," said Vincent, "or else I'll tell Shera that you ran off to find yourself a lager, and wound up finding a hooker instead…and that you fucked her nice, you fucked her hard, and you both fucking enjoyed it so much that she actually gave you her number…all this while I got myself a pet."
Cid knew that Vincent's skill in the fine art of blackmail was unbeatable compared to his, and so he shut up—even one word of cursing would equal to Vincent singing to Shera about his indiscretion. "Besides, I did it for a good reason. I know this girl, and so it didn't seem right that she had to be a pet. I know it sounds stupid to you, but somehow, I felt it to be the right thing to do." Cid simply grunted at Vincent in affirmation…he didn't care what his friend did with his money, so long as he stopped moping around.
Vincent looked at his new pet, and sighed. "Why did you have to get yourself in trouble with Don Corneo?" he asked himself, "Well, it's too late to change anything now…you're under a red slip, meaning that I can't really do anything to help you because you're now a pet for life. Are you aware of this?"
"Yes," mumbled Yuffie, tears starting to well up in her eyes, "please stop looking at me…I don't want you to see me like this." She was really crying at this point. It really broke Vincent's heart to see her like this…even though he was still manically depressed, Yuffie crying always made him feel even worse—he didn't know why, but he always felt happy whenever she was happy. That was probably because she always lit up a room with nothing but happiness no matter where she went…but now that he knew how depressed and sad she was, his mood matched hers.
Yuffie followed Vincent while attached to the leash as he walked towards the door and unlocked it. She then noticed a black chocobo chick chirping as it was running towards them and nuzzling Vincent's leg causing him to pick it up from under the wings and scratch its head affectionately—it was roughly a month or two old, and about the size of a fully-grown chow-chow. It wore a red leather collar with the name "Miyuki" written on the tag, and from the looks of it, that chocobo was going to grow into quite a pretty girl. As she walked into the house, she also saw that there were no longer any pictures in the house…something must have happened.
"Lucrecia and I divorced," he said, breaking the silence as he led Yuffie up the stairs, "I found out that she had been cheating on me…and that my son was not mine, but the other man's. I now live alone—she says she's sorry, but I have a hard time believing her…I suppose that she's actually happy with that asshole Hojo, and couldn't bring herself to admit it—pardon my French. Well, I guess it's my fault now that I think about it—I should have seen the signs and suspected off the bat that she was having an affair instead of having to walk in on the two of them getting into position to have animal sex—sex that I was supposed to be having with her. I actually thought she could be trusted you know? And why am I even telling you this? Surely you don't find this interesting."
"Actually master," said Yuffie, looking at Vincent as she kept following him up the stairs, "I want to hear this. Contrary to what you may think, I really do care about you. In fact, I somehow feel connected to you—I don't know why, but for some reason, you and I just click together emotionally."
Vincent looked at Yuffie with concern in his eyes, and sighed. "It's getting late. I have to get back to work tomorrow…in the meantime I would recommend that you get some rest yourself." Once he led Yuffie to the room outside the den, he unhooked her leash as soon as he sat her down on the bed. "This will be your room. Feel free to decorate it however you like; and if there is anything you want or need, do not hesitate to ask." With that, he left her in the room while Miyuki followed him to the den and jumped up onto the bed, while Vincent simply got out of his clothes and into his red boxers and tank-top. Normally, if he were alone, Vincent would have been naked going to bed, but since he had a permanent guest and Miyuki was such a young bird, he may as well suck it up, and be modest.
Just as he was about to turn around, Vincent felt arms embracing him from behind, and then size-a breasts and a face squeezing into his back as Yuffie tightened her grip. The feeling of her hug on his lower back transferred from his skin to the nerves in his lower thoracic and upper lumbar sections of his spine, shot the electric signals their way up to his brain, and caused his pants to tighten from the erotic contact he was receiving. Had it been so long since he had sex that he was even willing to take this girl—better check that, sweet girl hard and brutally?
"Can I sleep with you?" she asked, moving her hands to rub him on his abs, causing his cock to throb quickly as she kept on rubbing him, "I really don't want to be alone tonight." It only worsened as she started straddling him on her thigh from behind as it continued to gradually accelerate in throbbing. "You may Yuffie," he said, trying his hardest to think the most disgusting thoughts he could to kill his erection, but nothing worked—she was simply too good, "all I ask is that you keep this appropriate…as I am still very much a man, and I'm sure that you are uncomfortable after your run-in with Don Corneo."
Yuffie simply released him, smoothly and slowly removing her arms from his person, leaving him with a very much raging erection at this point…it was a good thing that his boxers were loose enough to hide the offending appendage, otherwise, she'd label him as a pervert no better than Corneo himself. Miyuki saw Yuffie walking towards the bed, and immediately moved from the right side of the bed, and into the center so that she wouldn't get squashed. Vincent then turned and saw Yuffie in the bed and under the blanket—sleeping peacefully. As he walked towards the bed, he scratched Miyuki on the head before the two of them went to sleep the minute he switched off the lights…
A/N: The Vincent winning the chocobo race scene was inspired by an episode in "Get Smart" where Max Smart was trying to be a double agent and found that he was too lucky in a casino as he helped a man win a game just by walking past him, won a poker game with the agents he was spying on, and earned the jackpot on a slot machine by accidentally pulling the lever down.