There was some kind of acceptance in my decision to drive on; something that made Bella sink back into the seat and allowed my shoulders to relax. We didn't speak for quite a few minutes. Bella twisted a lock of hair between her thumb and index finger. She gazed out the window but I figured she wasn't actually looking at anything. I drummed my fingers ever so gently on the steering wheel, humming a wordless tune under my breath. The sound of her breaths and the rhythm of her heart bounced off the leather and glass interior of the car. The repetition was almost soothing, the guarantee that exhale would follow inhale, beat would follow beat.
Vague impressions of sounds and thoughts and voices registered in the back of mind, but I did not concentrate and so they faded away as quickly as they came. I wondered what Bella was thinking but part of me also enjoyed her silence. To be in presence of another being, but to not have to listen to the innermost workings of their psyche was something of a relief. I smiled at the back of her head, knowing she would see the reflection in the window. That shared look, the companionship warmed some cold part of me.
This must have been what peace felt like.
I couldn't have known; I'd never experienced it before.
Late evening traffic was heavy downtown. We crawled through busy streets - past florists, cafés, DVD stores and a 24 hour gym. These were the streets familiar to Bella. She must have had walked them before, perhaps touched a petal on a flower arrangement or ordered some complicated coffee drink in one of the many shops. This was her home and I was just merely and outsider.
The car was paused at a crosswalk, when the shrill excited voices of some teenagers on the pavement. It didn't matter what accent or language they had, or even what era it was, young people , they all shared the same high-pitched tone that would make the most patient man wince. They were dressed in some provocative notion of formalwear - the girls showed skin and the boys wore running shoes with dress pants – adorned with dying flowers to hammer home that this was a 'special' night.
I glanced at Bella, wondering if this was the kind of night she enjoyed and found her ducking down in her seat. She flushed, and my throat burned, when she realised I was looking.
"They go to my school!" she hissed. "I don't want them to see me."
The note of panic in her voice stopped me from finding amusement in her distress.
"Bella," I said. "The windows are tinted. No-one can see in."
"Oh," she said in a small voice. I smiled at her in an attempt to alleviate her obvious embarrassment but this only seemed to exacerbate her blush. How strange. Most people responded well to that kind of thing.
"Is that Senior Prom?" I asked, trying to fill the conversation gap. Perhaps there was boy she liked, who didn't like her back. Perhaps she had hopes of being invited. These thoughts set a twinge of sadness in my chest that I couldn't quite fathom. No-one likes to be alone.
"Junior," she answered glumly.
"How come you're not attending?" In my vast experience, prom was the highlight of the year for most high school girls. Hell, even Alice and Rose got excited for it occasionally. "Did no-one ask you? Plenty of people go alone, you know."
"Jesus, Edward you sound like my father," she snapped and I was chagrined " I. Don't. Dance. Prom is not my thing."
"Why were you hiding then?" At the risk of sounding conceited, I knew that plenty of teenage girls would love to be seen driving in a fancy car with me or any of my brothers. They couldn't resist our appeal.
"I uh, I just panicked I guess," Bella said, wringing her hands on her lap. "I spend a lot of time trying to go unnoticed by the popular kids. It's a force of habit."
"I know what you mean." I tried to get back on common ground.
Bella raised on sceptical eyebrow in response. "Yeah right," she scoffed. "Like you blend in anywhere. Did you go to your prom?"
I wanted to question the emphasis on you, but focused on answering her question. Or rather evading it. I had been to more proms over the years than I cared to remember, usually escorting Alice when Jasper could not. "Our prom isn't on until May."
"And will you be attending?"
"It's highly doubtful."
"Why not? Have you two left feet as well?" Bella teased.
I found myself speaking freely, without any conscious decision to do so. It was just easier to answer questions when no thoughts accompanied them.
"I assure you that my dancing skills are beyond reproach," I told her. "But prom is most definitely not my thing either."
"Don't tell me you can't get a date," she grumbled.
"There's no-one in Forks I would want to bring on a date," I told her honestly. Her face brightened inexplicably. "The entire institution is over-rated anyway, trust me."
"I do," she replied, and looked back down at her hands. Her fingers were short, I noticed, with a purplish scar that was most likely a burn on her pinkie finger.
I didn't know what response to make. I considered telling her I wasn't to be trusted; I'd just as soon drain her dry. But I was the one who'd asked, even over something far more frivolous than the serious tone her voice implied. What was the point in disagreeing? I'd already vowed never to see her again after tonight.
I let the moment pass in a silence disturbed only by the quick pace of her heart. She'd look pretty in a formal dress, I mused, something with buttons. I discarded the thought as soon as it popped into my head, but the image it created was infinitely more persistent.
I sighed in frustration. I spent too much time inside my head. If I was only going to take one night of freedom and spontaneity then I reasoned I should create some memories. Seize the day. Live in the now etc etc. I manoeuvred the car into the first available parking space.
"Let's go," I said, leaning close to her retrieve my wallet. Her scent reminded me of a spring garden.
"Go where?" she asked, fumbling with her seatbelt.
"Wherever the night takes us." I grinned and had opened her car door before Bella had her hand on the latch.
"Oh!" she gasped in shock but there was no trace of fear as I assisted her from the car. I intended to take her by the elbow, but she misjudged and moved awkwardly. My hand slipped to Bella's wrist, with the warm pulsing temptation at my fingertips. By rights, I should have been focused on the blood flowing under my touch.
Instead I marvelled at how soft her skin felt.
We meandered down the street, shoulders almost touching but not quite. This was a new situation for me, walking like this. Had it been one of sisters or Esme with me, I would have thought nothing of taking their arm. But this was different. I thought of strolling couples, the ones you saw on the sidewalk with linked palms and no awareness of the world around them. What would it be like to experience that?
Since Bella was the native, I let her guide our path. "Is there anything in particular you would like to do?" I asked.
"Nope." She smiled and continued walking, constantly sending me backwards glances that she didn't realise I would catch. There was a definite spring in her step.
Her aroma was less potent in the fresh air; less concentrated. It was easier to concentrate on the world around me and I made note of the unfamiliar architecture and the slow twang in the way passers-by spoke.
A low but distinct rumble from Bella's stomach pulled me from my internal musings. I didn't know how long she'd been out walking before I happened upon her.
"Hungry?" I asked. Her features pulled together in confusion.
"A little."
"Do you want to get something to eat?"
"Not yet." Bella had to step closer to me to let someone get by on the path. The energy of her body so close to mine was shocking. "I just want to walk a bit."
"Fine by me."
We walked on.
Bella still wore my sweater and I was glad to have given it to her. There was a chill in the night air, and it wouldn't do for her to be cold. The hem hung at about the same level as her shorts, the fabric grazed her thighs as she walked and she had to push up the sleeves.
Not only did it look surprisingly well on her, the mingling of my scent with her own lessened the blaze in my throat. It was more tolerable when diluted.
We passed some terracotta toned pottery store and Bella launched into a shy anecdote about a class she had taken with her mother. She was sure of her story, but unsure of the words she was using to tell it. The contrast was quite sad. The tale did not equate with the picture she had earlier painted of her mother, but it's easy to forget how much people can change.
I was happy to listen to the tempo of her voice and the unsure ripples of her laughter.
"You have fun with your mother," I observed.
"She was my best friend."
Was?
I don't know why that surprised me. After all, Carlisle was my best friend until he found Esme.
There was a tug on my sleeve, and Bella pointed across the street. The instant I look, I heard.
The vigour of mariachi music. The whirl of Spanish chatter. Laughter and children playing. The smell of spicy human food, the woody beer and the pungent tequila.
"It's some kind of street festival," Bella said, her voice a note higher than before.
"Do you want to go and look?"
"Can we?" Her eyes were wide with excitement.
"Sure." I shrugged in agreement. Immediately, Bella rushed to cross the street. Without thinking, I grabbed her arm to stop her running into traffic. I made little effort to modify my strength and I felt her flesh yield under the grip of my hands. She halted at once, and I pulled my hand away and shoved it in my pocket.
I berated myself for my persistent lapses in judgement and that anger was evident in my voice.
"Have got some sort of death wish?" I huffed.
Bella's hand flew to the spot on her arm that I'd grabbed; her fingers rubbed it lightly. I hadn't heard any bones crack – a positive sign to say the least - but there was always the danger of bruising and I willed her not to roll up the sleeve of the sweater to check. Again, I wondered what she was thinking. Was she confused by my bizarre behaviour? Frightened? Her facial expression revealed little more than discomfiture with a tinge of anger.
"I wasn't thinking," Bella answered.
"Clearly," I muttered too low for her to hear, but her features sharpened in a way that told me maybe she had.
"You can stop looking at me like I killed your puppy now." Bella rolled her eyes. "No harm, no foul. Besides, I would only have hurt myself."
Of course, she could not understand that was what bothered me. What was the point in me going to such lengths to ensure her safety, if she was going to ruin all that with reckless behaviour?
Protecting her was the right thing to do. However, a very wrong part of me was desperate to drag her into the nearest alley and let that blood flow. My family would never have to know...
"Edward?" Bella's warm touch pulled me out of my reverie. Her fingers were a slight pressure on my bicep that sent shockwaves all through me. I jolted alert.
"Sorry." I shook my head to rid it of those dark fantasies and flashed a closed mouth smile. No need to disturb her out further by exposing my teeth. "Let's go."
Confident that the road was clear, I placed my hand lightly on the small of Bella's back to guide her along. Purely for safety purposes of course, it was nothing to with how comfortable it felt there.
We stepped into the side-street and it was like entering a different world. In an instant, I assessed the cacophony of lively voices switching seamlessly between Spanish and English, the joyful children, the cheery music and the paper lanterns that cast an otherworldly glow on ordinary steel shutters and fire escapes.
Alice would love something like this. I wondered had she seen it. Surely she would have called if she wasn't too pre-occupied with her own troubles. But I had left my phone in the car, and besides I was grateful for this rare moment of privacy.
I took to watching Bella's reaction – the way her mouth gapped to show harmless teeth and the wide set of her eyes – as she took it all in. She was definitely entranced.
It took me a nanosecond to take it all in – the stalls and the food and the games and the music. It took Bella decidedly longer to absorb it all. Her wide-eyed expression was quite entertaining, and like the rest if the evening it was interesting and frustrating to not have her thoughts as a guide.
"Wow." She raised her voice over the din of the crowd, unaware that I could hear the quietest whisper. "It's like some kind of festival or something."
"A fundraiser for the local church," I supplied, nodding at a banner hanging over the stalls and dropping a few bills into a collection bucket.
We took a few synced steps forward, closer than before because of the crowd. It was only natural for me to place my hand on the small of her back as a guide, and the red heat scorched into my bones.
Bella zeroed in on the food stalls. She must have been starving. Humans need to eat regularly and she had most certainly missed dinner.
"Hungry?" I asked.
"A little." She nodded, and seemed a little embarrassed at the admission. How strange, that she would feel bad for such a basic need.
I wasn't sure what she would want from the selection of foods, so I let her lead the way over to the food stalls. The meat and carbohydrate selections looked similar to what was served in the school cafeteria but the colours were brighter and the spices smelled more pungent. She agonised over her decision – her eyes darting back and forth between her choices.
"What are you getting?" she asked.
"Nothing." I was simply not in the humour for any more pretences, and that included pretending to eat a meal.
Her eyebrows shot up. "Nothing? Aren't you hungry?"
I shook my head. "I'm on a special diet. This food is too rich for me." A knowing pat to my abdomen finished off the statement. One thing I had learned was that humans rarely asked too many questions relating to digestion issues.
While Bella ordered her food, I busied myself with getting some drinks. I got two lemonades in clear plastic cups, figuring I could spill mine or give it to her if that hot food made her thirsty. I glanced at her, and saw her forehead creased and her hands patting of pockets. I was angry at myself for putting her in that situation, and immediately slipped the vendor the cash for her meal. I should have remembered she had no money but these things were so rarely an issue for me. I was not used to these kinds of outings.
Bella was fussing with garnishes and sauces. I got the impression she was took her Mexican cuisine very seriously as she joked with the seller about chilli peppers. Apparently Bella liked things hot, a fact that was vaguely stimulating for a reason I did not want to dwell on.
There were a few tatty picnic tables for people to sit and eat at, but all were occupied. A dour-faced looking woman sat at one – her thoughts ranged between bitter and resentful at being dragged to the festivities. Figuring Bella would want somewhere to sit, I decided to get us a table. I stood a fraction too close to the surly old woman and her body stiffened at my presence. Humans were wired to be instinctually afraid of us predators. When she looked in my direction, I gave her a grin that could only be described as sly. She shrank away and I took the table. Victory was too easy sometimes.
"Wow!" Bella commented. "How did you manage to snag a table so quick?"
"I guess it's just my lucky night." I smiled at her –careful to conceal my teeth—and passed her the lemonade. She concentrated very hard on her food then, and I wasn't sure why. Watching Bella eat was far more interesting than I would have imagined. The children at school tended to wolf down their processed meals in the most disgusting fashion. In contrast, Bella took small neat bites and her mouth plumped delightfully as she chewed. She let out a tiny moan at the taste of something, and that noise was very interesting indeed.
Yes, she was quite pleasant company. She didn't even comment on my lack of eating, and uttered quiet thanks when I swapped my full lemonade cue for her almost-empty one.
And while she was beside me, I could focus on her alone and it made it so much easier to block out the noise. The silence of her mind was an empty space for my thoughts to dwell and it enveloped me, pushing away the rest.
"I like this music," Bella said, nodding towards the small band with wrinkled hands and lined eyes playing Latin American music. "My mom used to play the Mambo and twirl around the kitchen when she went through her ballroom dance phase. She would try get me to be her partner but there wasn't enough space in the little room to swing a cat, let alone for two people to dance."
There was an unmistakable tinge of sadness in her tone, and I hated that. I decided to keep things as light as I could.
"Did you take to a more classical approach to dancing?" I asked. It had to be preferable to the flailing about that passed for dancing these days. In an instant, the very inviting idea of dancing with Bella flashed in front of me. ...my hands on her waist, twirling her around to make her laugh...
"God, no," she answered with a resolute shudder, effectively busting my bubble. "I told you I have two left feet. I'm honestly the world's suckiest dancer."
"You couldn't be that bad." Her tumble on the road notwithstanding, she seemed quite elegant to me.
"Oh, I am. " She looked at me through narrowed eyes. "I suppose it comes naturally to you."
"I learned to dance a long time ago," I told her. "And I learned that it was all in the leading."
"What does that even mean?"
"It means you probably didn't have the right partner before."
Bella's heartbeat quickened. "The best partner in the world couldn't make up for how lame I am."
"I'm sure that's not true."
"I'm sure it is." She looked away from me and I realised it was not best to push her. "Look at that lady dance," she said, changing the subject. I followed her gaze to the creaky makeshift dance floor where a stout woman with grey hair was dancing with the kind of passion you have to witness to believe.
"She's very talented, "I observed, not bothering to mention the steps she missed.
"She must be what, sixty? Seventy? Can you imagine getting to that age and being so full of life?"
"No," I answered truthfully. "Can you?"
"I don't think I'll ever be that...effervescent. My mom always jokes that I was born middle aged and I get older every year. She says I'm stuck in this young body but I'm actually really old."
I couldn't help but smile and shake my head. "I've been told something similar myself."
"Why does that not surprise me," she muttered.
We watched the people dance a while longer – the click of heels, the sweat on their foreheads and the circles of their warm human bodies. I could do better of course; I'd often had with my Esme, Alice, Rose, even Kate and Irina. I'd taken the technique and the skill we possessed for granted and tried to make the most of the knowledge of my supposed superiority.
But I'd never thought about the effort and the passion. The synchronicity of the beats of someone's heart to the taps of their feet. The triumph in the eyes at a well executed step. The drive to work through the pain and exhaustion.
There was a beauty in this very human display that I could never match.
It was something of a relief when the tired musicians took a break and the children's games began.
There was musical chairs and pass the parcel and a boisterous game of pin the tail on the donkey. The innocence of it was all was delightful.
"What was your favourite game as a child?" I asked.
Bella took a long moment to think about it. "I didn't like group games much," she said. "But I always liked fingerpainting. How about you?"
"I don't really remember."
Next came the scavenger hunt and I took a break from observing Bella chew her straw to check in on the game. It must have been my vampire instincts rising to the surface. It took me a moment to peek into the organisers thoughts and see the main clue was hidden beneath a nearby table. I noticed a small child, maybe 5 or 6 it was hard to tell sometimes, alone at the edge of the games.
"Hey kid," I called, catching his attention. I had gathered his name was Jorge, but I'd long since learned that knowing the name of strange children was a sure-fire way of getting unwanted attention. Bella watched us closely. "Are you playing?"
He nodded, but his eyes were wary. I switched to Spanish in an attempt to make him more comfortable. His thoughts were all in that language. "I think you should look under the tables."
I could tell he didn't trust my help. Really, his jumbled thoughts indicated he didn't trust any men but his desire to succeed at the game got the better of him and he hastily checked under all the tables.
"You speak Spanish really well," Bella said.
"One of my many talents," I joked, biting back the sarcastic reply that was my first response. It was too easy to forget I wasn't with my family here.
"What did you say to him? You spoke too fast for me to catch it." Before I could answer, the boy emerged triumphant from under one of the tables and a cheer went up among the few spectators. "You told him where to find that, didn't you?"
"I would never condone cheating," I deadpanned and Bella rolled her eyes.
"How did you even know where it was? I can't see a thing from here."
"I'm very observant," I replied.
"I'm observant," she answered. "You're like hyper-aware of everything. "
"Like I said, many talents."
Bella didn't want to let this go. "Why did you help him?"
Excellent question.
"I felt bad because he wasn't really involved. It's no fun to be on the sidelines all the time – watching. Sometimes you just...you just want to..."
"Live," Bella supplied. "Sometimes I just want to live my life instead of watching everyone else live theirs.
The climax of the games was about to start, a giant papier-mâché donkey was hoisted over the wooden platform and the children jostled each other for first turn at the baseball bat. We watched as they took blind swings at the piñata. Bella giggled in a childish way, so opposite to the serious expression and tone she'd been wearing all night. The game went on and the colourful donkey remained intact - it's unblemished painted stripes mocking the eager children.
As it became obvious the youngsters hadn't the strength to break the piñata, the game-leader began to look for wider participation. A couple of young teenage boys refused, clearly feeling they were too mature for such childish exploits. An older girl made a valiant attempt, but the baby on her hip prevented her from making any real impact. Then, the organiser's eyes honed in on me. I gulped, knowing he was about to get me involved.
He called and gestured in our direction and dozens of eyes and thoughts came my way.
"I think he wants you to try," Bella said.
"Why don't you do it?" I urged, anxious to get the limelight off me.
"No way." She shook her head resolutely. "I'd fall on my ass, of that I am certain."
The game's organiser grew impatient and starts making chicken noises in my direction! As if I was afraid. Against my better judgement, I stood up and made my over to the little podium. Drawing unnecessary attention to oneself was in direct contravention to our way of life, but I was already breaking rules tonight. What was one more?
A small cheer went up when I accepted the bat, and part of me thrilled at the positive attention. How nice it was, to not be looked at with fear and uncertainty, or worse misplaced desire. The wood was not smooth, but rough and worn under my skin and I thought briefly of the warm human hands that had played with it before me.
"I don't know you well enough to tie this blindfold on you," joked the game-master. His mind showed no conscious thought of the fact, but I could tell his instinct made him uncomfortable with being too close to me. "Why don't you do it, honey?" He beckoned Bella over.
Crimson-faced, Bella made her way over to me. She took careful, slow steps as if she was expecting the smooth floor to suddenly splinter and trip her. She took the red bandana with a shy smile and I obligingly bent down to allow her to tie it around my head. Her warm hands trembled as she raised them to my face. Her thumb was on my cheekbone, her index finger on my brow as she smoothed it over my eyes. Her fingers dallied in my hair and I smirked at her superfluous efforts to secure the blindfold as tight was possible.
I figured having my face covered put people at ease around me, as the children leaned closer in excitement.
I took a second to assess my surroundings – to make sure everyone was standing well back from me and to make sure I wasn't gripping the bat too tight.
Then, I took a single, solid swing of the bat and cracked it directly into the piñata.
There was a moment of silence (no-one expected me to get it first try) before the small crowd erupted in cheers. I pulled off the blindfold, and while I was aware of the candy raining down in multicoloured droplets and the children scrabbling around my feet, the bulk of my focus was solely on Bella. Her lips were a shiny smile and her hands clapped in glee. It was very lovely.
With a modest smile, I plucked a purple lollipop from the pile of candy and presented it to her. Bella accepted it with another of those girlish giggles and picked off the wrapper as I accepted my praise and thanks for the jolly people around us. I smiled back at them, as genuine as could be without exposing my teeth too much, and answered in a mixture of Spanish and English.
It seemed that they liked me, and that was very strange indeed.
I had been polite long enough and turned my attention back to Bella, as she concentrated on sucking on her lollipop.
I could hear her slurp and swallow and it was not at all as disgusting as I would have imagined. Quite the opposite, in fact. The way her throat contracted and her lips and tongue pursed and licked had I engrossed.
Bella caught me staring.
"What?" she asked, kind of coughing and laughing at the same time. I guess I took her by surprise and I prayed very hard she wouldn't choke because there was no way I could perform the Heimlich on her.
I played dumb and waited for her to catch her breath.
"Have I something on my face? Is that why you're staring?" she pressed.
"Your lips are turning purple," I informed her, congratulating myself on a quick save.
"Ew." Bella wrinkled her nose and rubbed her lips together. "As if I didn't look enough like a corpse already."
"Um...well." I cleared my throat. "Are you ready to go?"
"I guess." Bella looked more than a tad taken aback. "Your fanclub look about ready to pounce anyway," she muttered. I followed her line of sight to a couple of hair-flicking teenage girls that I hadn't even noticed, unable to fathom her dark expression. I decided an eye-roll would be an appropriate response and offered her my arm.
She slipped her arm through mine, her delicate hands curled around the crook of my elbow. This is no big deal, I told myself. It's just like walking with Alice or Esme.
Except it wasn't like that all. Their hands weren't warm. Their touch didn't make me feel things.
And they weren't breakable or biteable either.
"It's so weird," Bella commented. "I've lived here almost my whole life and I've never noticed anything like this before. It's like there's this whole other world that I don't even know about."
"You'd be surprised what exists just below the surface," I replied. "Most people just don't bother looking."
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. That slightly ominous tone was not what I was going for, even if warning her to keep away was the right thing to do.
I watched her closely, trying to gauge her reaction but it was like she hadn't even heard me.
She was too busy gazing at a jewellery stand.
Humans. Always so easily distracted.
Bella made a beeline to the stall, dragging me along with her. I was surprised at her draw to the jewellery. She wore none and her clothes were plain. Her ears were not pierced and her wrists did not bear the marks of someone who words bracelets or watches regularly.
Her eyes were wide as she looked at the pieces on sale. The stock was quite crude, probably home-made, mainly consisting of dull silver and chunky turquoise. Bella was looking at it like it was the Hope Diamond.
"You didn't strike me as the jewellery type," I observed.
"My mom used to say I was like a magpie," she answered. "I've always been attracted to shiny things."
I may have spluttered at that revelation.
Bella continued, "I would play with her stuff all the time. I would hold her wedding ring for hours. I carried it in my pencil case for a whole semester once and she didn't even notice. I have a broach belonging to my grandmother that I always keep on my locker."
"You don't wear it?" I wondered.
"No." She refused to meet my eye. "I don't think it really suits me."
Self-consciously, she fidgeted at her clothes and it was very clear what she meant – that she didn't suit jewellery.
This beautiful girl thought she was plain.
She examined the black velvet trays very carefully, in what I presumed was an attempt to avoid any more questions from me. Bella looked at almost every piece, but I noticed her eyes continued to be drawn back to the same ring – a simple silver band with an oval topaz stone.
"You like that one best," I said.
Her cheeks were crimson when she nodded in reply.
"Try it on," I urged.
Bella fumbled to get it out of its slot, and then slipped it on. Her expression was wistful as she gazed down at her finger. Her nails were bitten to the quick and there was dirt lodged in the creases of her knuckles.
"It's so pretty," she murmured.
I had one hand in my pocket.
"Are there any others you like?" I asked. "The green perhaps..."
"No," she cut me off and immediately flushed red. "I like this one best. This is my favourite gemstone."
"Topaz. Really?" Most women liked diamonds and sapphires.
"It's pretty, ok?" Bella sounded defensive so I let it go. Far be it for me to cast judgement on a lady's style choices. Rosalie still harboured resentment since the Poodle Skirt Debacle of 1952.
"Let me get if for you," I offered, in that low persuasive voice I used to get out of school early.
"No...I couldn't," Bella began to stutter. "You can't."
"I want to," I insisted but she slid if off her finger and returned it to the imitation velvet tray.
"I won't accept it."
"Why not?" It was little more than a trinket, and she knew I could afford it.
"I don't like presents."
"Everyone likes presents."
"Not me." She sighed and closed her eyes longer than a blink. "They make me uncomfortable," Bella admitted. "They make me feel like I'm under a compliment to the giver. Like I owe some deep gratitude, and don't get me wrong I would be grateful, but I never show it right or give people the reaction they want and –"
"I wouldn't feel like you owe me anything," I interrupted. She had already given me more than she knew tonight.
"I know." She sounded resigned. "I do know that. But Edward, you have to understand that I'm not the kind of girl who has spontaneous nights out with strange beautiful boys. I'm the kind of girl who sits at home and reads about them. And this ring would haunt me and taunt me because I'm not going to have another night like this. And what if someday someone gives me another ring and all I can think of is how it's not as special as this one? I can't let that happen..." Bella trailed off, looking a little shocked at her outburst.
"It's ok." I tried to reassure her.
"You probably think I'm a fool now," she mumbled. "I'm sorry."
"Bella, I understand. Honestly, I do. I'm not going to solder it to your finger."
Her expression relaxed a little, but her shoulders were tense and she wouldn't meet my eyes.
A quick check to make sure I would be un-noticed; I grabbed the ring faster than human sight could see and slipped it in my pocket. To ward off any guilt, I dropped a fifty onto the grimy ground and hoped the stallholder would be the one to find it.
We went back to the car in silence.
"You should probably take me home now," Bella said as I opened the door for her. "It's getting late. I don't want Renee to worry anymore."
"Whatever you want." I smiled at her and she just looked uneasy. "Tell me where to go."
And for the next little while, Bella's mumbled directions are all only conversation we have. The quiet of her mind seemed to be driving me mad. It wasn't peaceful. Unfair, is what it was. I had spent so many years hearing so many thoughts I never wanted to and the one voice I wanted to hear was silent to me.
"Do you see my dad around much?" she asked, surprising me. I paused, to recollect my interactions with the unassuming town sheriff.
"A little," I told her. "He came to school a few times to give talks on road safety and things like that."
No need to tell her they were wholly unnecessary for me and I skipped most, if not all, of them.
Bella watched, seemingly waiting for me to give her more information.
"My father knows him better than I do. He's a doctor at Forks General so they deal with a lot of the same cases. When my family and I first moved to town, there was a lot of talk. All those teenagers in one house and couples too, it makes people uncomfortable. They thought we were trouble. Chief Swan, your dad, he really went out on a limb to defend us and point out we had never got caught doing anything illegal and people were just being prejudiced."
Or smart. Whatever.
I had never dwelled much on the police chief's defence of us before. But I saw it now in a new light and there was something almost heart-warming about it. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Bella was smiling now.
"Does he seem happy to you?" she asked.
"He doesn't seem unhappy," I offered. "He's alone a lot and like I said, I don't know him well but your dad seems pretty content."
"Content is good."
"Yes," I agreed. "It is."
We arrived at her house and I had given up on breathing. Her scent was too much and by rights, I should have wanted her out of the car as soon as possible.
Instead, I lingered, cutting the engine to show my intention.
The sight of her teeth on gnawing on her full bottom lip made me clench my fists.
"Thank you for tonight, Edward. "I can't tell you how good it was. I never get out like this and it was really..." She scrunched her eyes like someone in pain. "Nice. It was nice. That word doesn't do it justice but it's all I have."
"I get it," I told her. "I really enjoyed your spending time with you. I don't go out like this ever either."
"Weren't you just in Vegas?"
"Well, yes. But I wasn't there with you."
Bella unbuckled her seat belt and turned to face me and the car seemed to shrink all round us. She knelt on the seat, facing me and I looked past her to see the dusty footprints she was leaving on the door because he gaze was too much and not enough. She looked at me and looked at me and I felt utterly exposed.
"I understand, you know." Bella said, her heart pounding. "I get that this is difficult for you. I get that you are...different. So, thank you for not killing me."
My head snaps in her direction and I can feel intensity building up in me. Why couldn't she feel it too? I expected her to cower but she remained completely still but for the rise and fall of her breaths.
"Anyone would have stopped their car," I reply
"That's not what I'm talking about."
"Yes, it is," I insisted in a blind panic. I was meant to be good at this.
"No. I'm talking about the way you stopped it."
"Bella, you can't say things like that. It's too..."
"I won't tell anybody," she interrupted. "I promise. I know it's crazy. But I had to tell you. I had to make sure that you know I know and that I don't care. "
"You can't say that." My words were a growl and still she didn't falter.
"I am saying this. I owe it to myself. I don't care what you are. I don't care what you can be." She exhaled, shakily. "I just care that you were kind to me and made me smile like no-one else had."
"I could hurt you."
"You didn't. I trust..."
"Don't say that," I interrupted her. "Don't trust me."
Bella raised her finger to my icy lips. So close. One snap and I could taste her in my mouth. It was the most intimate thing I'd ever experienced.
"I trust myself, Edward Cullen. My instincts told me I'm safe with you. I'm not stupid. I wouldn't say this; do this, if I didn't know I could."
Her wrist brushed against my chin. Her heat was shocking. Her scent filled me up inside and it was all a kind of agony I never knew before.
"I'm not asking you for anything," she said. "I...I don't know what I'm doing." She laughed a little laugh that made me understand the term bittersweet and her hand lingered somewhere in front of me.
I knew, though. I knew she wanted me to kiss her. I knew it would be scary and wonderful and warm warm warm.
I knew, too, that it was dangerous and I wanted it but wanting things doesn't make the right. I didn't trust myself not to hurt her. I didn't trust myself to be able to stop.
Her hand was still so close to me so I raised my own at a carefully slow place. Placing it behind hers, I let her react to the bitter cold and the hard palm against the backs of her fingers. We both watched, fascinated at this small thing, as my thumb circled her calloused baby finger and the heel of my hand caressed her knuckles. My fingers closed around hers, covering them. Her thumb and index finger entwined around my pinkie.
I moved her hand back to my mouth, inhaling deeply the scent of her blood and the dust and tacos she ate for dinner. Her ulnar artery pulsed a beat deep into my bones and with a sigh, I pressed a kiss into the palm of her hand.
Bella shook a little when she finally drew away and the air all around us was utterly still. I held the hand that had held hers against my collar bone, enjoying the little warmth she had left behind.
"Seeya, Edward," she said in that quiet way and slipped out of the door as I said goodbye.
Stunned, I waited to make sure she got into the house safely. She looked back just as the front door closed and I could not fathom the look in her eyes. I should have started the car and drove home but I waited, all at sea, tracing Bella Swan's footprints around her small house.
She hesitated on the first step of the stairs, waiting as any teenager would, to see if her parent would confront her for her absence. When no such reprimand came, she slowly made her way up to what I presumed was her bedroom.
I couldn't know what she could hear, but the sound of her mother and step father drinking beer on the back porch was crystal clear to me. I briefly peeked into their hazy minds and it became obvious they hadn't even noticed Bella had been gone.
A lamp flickered on in an upstairs window and I listened to Bella pace around. I could still hear the thrum of her heartbeat.
More than anything, I wanted to go to her room and bring her back to me. I considered the risks and the reaction of my family and what could possibly happen next and I, who always believed himself to have the answers, had no idea what to.
So I picked up my phone and called Jasper.
He answered on the first ring.
"I want to ask you something." I said. There's no need for formalities with Jasper.
"Go ahead."
"When you first met Alice..." I began and my blade-sharp hearing noticed the catch in his breath. Jasper doesn't resent my 'gift' but over the years I learned that he occasionally begrudged my knowledge of his most private memories. It wasn't quite rational, but as Alice pointed out, love rarely was.
"You know that story almost as well as we do," Jasper interrupted. He was right. As one of their favourites, I had relived it so many times that I could recall the music on the radio in the diner and the polka dots on Alice's dress like it was a much-watched movie.
But the fear, the anticipation and the unsureness of it all was always just out of my realm of comprehension.
"How did you know?" I blurted, before I lost my nerve. "How did you know that she was the one for you?"
"Well, I didn't." He answered, much to my surprise. "Why do you ask?"
"What do you mean you didn't know?" I searched through my impressions of their memories, the smiles and the blinks and the quickness in their steps.
"I knew..." He sighed. "I knew that she wasn't not the one. There was something about her that made me want to follow her and get to know her better. After a century of manipulation and mind games and darkness, she was so light, so fresh and I couldn't imagine not having her by my side the next day and the next and the next."
That made sense to me in a way I never imagined a statement like that could and my thoughts drifted forward to the days to come.
I thanked him and started to say goodbye but Jasper continued to speak.
"Edward, I don't mean to pry but, frankly, Alice would kill me if I didn't. Have you...met someone?"
"Yes." My voice sounded so small.
"Someone like us? In Arizona?"
"Human." I told him. "She's human."
"Shit."
"Indeed."
"Are you sure?" Jasper pressed. "Maybe you're confused. Maybe you just want to drink her?"
"I do want to..." I had to swallow down venom, "Drink from her. Badly. But I want to not drink from her more than that."
"Shit."
"You already said that."
"Sorry," he replied. "How did you meet her?"
"I, uh, found her on the side of the road. I almost hit her, actually. Her mind is silent, you see, so I didn't hear her and she didn't want to go home so I took her to get something to eat –"
"You were on a date," Jasper said, accusingly.
"I...I guess I was."
"Where are you now?"
"Parked outside her house. I can't seem to find the motivation to start the car." I admitted.
"Don't do anything rash, Edward," he warned and I could hear the derision in his voice. Like he didn't believe me. Like I was being the ridiculous, melodramatic teenager my family believed me to be.
"I'm not going to abduct her!" I snapped.
"Look, brother, whatever you do just come home ok? You have to come back. I won't tell anyone about it. Just come back."
I could hear something unspoken in his tone; permission I wasn't looking for.
"I will." I had promised a long time ago to never do that to Carlisle and Esme again. "I better go. Thank you for listening."
I hung up the phone and tossed it on the passenger seat. Immediately, it started to buzz but I ignored it.
I knew what I had to do. I couldn't let this pass me by. I couldn't say goodbye to Bella yet. Whether it was one more glimpse, one more word or one more night was irrelevant. I just needed more.
I stepped out of the car, wondering whether to knock or simple go to her window.
Then, with a rattle of wind chimes, Bella's front door burst open and she dashed on to the porch. There were no raised voices or dramatic exits, just Bella with a duffel bag and some paperback books, her face red and her hair wild and she looked at me in way that made me ten feet tall.
"Edward!" She stage whispered. "Wait! "
Bella flew through her front yard, kicking up dust as she ran.
Instinctively, I went to meet her. I moved faster than I should but her eyes registered no surprise when I arrived by her side.
There was a thick cloud of dust behind me, particles landing on my skin and in my hair and in my lungs. It almost dulled the rich temptation of her blood.
But nothing could dull the shock of her beauty; her vibrant vulnerability almost struck me dumb.
"Will you take me with you?" Bella's voice was sweet and small and impossible to refuse. I would take her anywhere she wanted to go.
"Yes," I answered, taking her shaking arm and leading her to my car. There was a wide smile on my face and something like joy swelled inside me.
I tried to be reasonable. I told myself I was just a convenient drive. It was about leaving her scatty mother and spending time with her stable father. It was teenage impetuousness and rebellion and it wasn't about me one iota.
It didn't feel like that at all.
It felt like something new and wonderful and more.
So I decided to drive her back to Forks. I would get to know her better and she could know me and see if I was worth knowing, if she would still be so carefree about I was.
I would tell her the truth and see how she reacted and mind and protect her with all my heart.
I would deliver safely her to her father's door and there, if she wanted me to, I would take her in my arms and kiss her.
Thanks for reading, guys! I hope you liked it