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Could it be that we have been this way before...?

Chapter Two

Tayend stood still, dumbfounded by what he'd just said to Dannyl, what he'd just asked of him. The scholar found that he couldn't move and Dannyl had left the room about two minutes ago. He didn't understand any of it. The apology and then the request to be friends again; what had possessed him when he was still unbelievably angry at Dannyl. He didn't even know why he was angry any more. Maybe it was the fact that they were slipping back into a routine, a routine that had been long abandoned and forgotten. The routine of having dinner together, seeing each other nearly every day. Something that apparently in the end drove them miles apart. No Tayend it was you going to parties and him preferring his work to you that drove you apart. He corrected himself. He sighed heavily and finally moved.

All he knew was that seeing Dannyl asleep on the chair had brought back old memories, good memories of when they had first gotten together. Then Dannyl had proceeded to get up and pat Tayend on the shoulder. A gesture that hasn't happened for about ten years. It used to be accompanied by a kiss, Tayend mused wistfully. Upon reaching the hallway and glancing back into the room he realised just how much had changed in the last twenty years. Both him and Dannyl had grown older and with that shared things with each other they thought would only be for them to share, Tayend's face turned grim at the thought of Dannyl sharing his body with Aschati, he knew there was no proof of it and he sorted of believed Dannyl when he said he hadn't done anything more than what Tayend had witnessed in the Baths, but then there was always that little bit of doubt.

Tayend opened his bedroom door and noticed that he was still carrying Dannyl's cup, shaking his head amusedly he placed it upon his chest of drawers. He changed for bed and sunk into the mattress, pulling the cover on top of himself.

Everything had been so weird lately. Too weird. Maybe he just needed to be close to someone. The way that him and Dannyl used to be. A grin came to his face as he remembered the time him and Dannyl had been adventurous in the library in Elyne and Dannyl had closed all the doors with magic and they had proceeded to have sex against the book shelves. Or two years after the Kyralian War and he'd made dinner for Dannyl, only to fall asleep and be woken by Dannyl cursing and using his magic to rid the kitchen of smoke. Even though Dannyl had been furious at him for leaving the oven on it soon became a joke. All those times they had just sat with each other talking, reading, taking comfort in the others company, sharing little kisses and making love to each other. Tayend still remembered all of Dannyl's favourite spots that he liked to have licked, bitten, kissed and more. He remembered how Dannyl's eyes would always cloud over and darken with lust. Tayend had to admit it wasn't the sex that he missed the most, it was just Dannyl himself, no not Dannyl, the feeling of having another man close in that way. The scholar quickly corrected. What was it with him and mixing his ex boyfriend personally and not just in the abstract way.

He shook his head and remembered all the times that they'd laughed together, held hands and just everything. Then the distance had started. Dannyl threw himself back into work which Tayend first joined him in but after a few years grew bored. Tayend had then found friends amongst the Guild who were like him. A lad. Wanting a way to express themselves without fear of danger and so Tayend had started a club and soon there were parties and social gatherings and Tayend was hardly at home any more. Tayend hadn't felt guilty about it though. For days on end he used to be left on his own until late into the night, only to be woken up by Dannyl creeping into bed. They'd rarely made love and when they did it was more sex than anything else. Just a means of getting rid of their bodily urges. Tayend sighed angrily at this. Angry at how things had changed. Angry at how both him and Dannyl had pushed the other way, he hated himself and Dannyl for it. And by the time he wanted to fix things it was too late. Dannyl was rushing off to Sachaka and leaving him behind.

He remembered Dannyl's face when he'd woken up earlier, how adorable he'd looked. And if Tayend was honest with himself, he almost wanted to kiss Dannyl. The sight of Dannyl's sleeping form, relaxed and with his hair slightly messed up had not only made his heart swell with affection but his blood to pick up pace. And the want and need that had suddenly coursed through him had shocked him. The look in Dannyl's eyes, sleepy and droopy had brought back memories of when Dannyl used to fall asleep with his head in his lap and Tayend would run his fingers through his ex boyfriends thick hair.

But the last week had been nothing but misery and anger. Every time the Elyne looked at the magician he felt anger and hurt. He couldn't help but be cold and harsh to him. It'd been to much to see Dannyl everyday, to be reminded of what they used to be like, minus Lorkin. Even Lorkin as a baby had solidified their relationship. Both of him and Dannyl had known that it would've been impossible to have a child together so it was nice to be able to act in a fatherly way and have a baby to look after once in a while. See the look of adoration and Dannyl's face whenever Tayend was making faces or playing with a baby Lorkin. He could remember times when he'd come down from having a shower and see Dannyl reading to Lorkin, with the baby perched on his knee, listening to every word Dannyl said.

Tonight everything was different. It was almost like stepping back in time and it disconcerted Tayend. He thought he'd finally found himself understanding where he stood with Dannyl, where his feelings stood with Dannyl but apparently not. Tonight had been nice, it was like stepping back in time. They'd been the most friendly that they had been too each other in months, and in some ways nicer than they had been to each other in the last ten years. Could it really be that we used to be nice to each other, used to be this way before? Tayend could remember times that they were but they almost seemed as if it were all a dream. A dream he didn't want to forget.