The art from the cover is from this awesome artist in DeviantArt. Original here
You should check her work, I highly recommend it. Now the story:
Dread remorse when you are tempted to err. Jane Eyre
The next day at the Hanged Man, Varric and Isabella couldn't stop talking about how they had found Anders and Hawke in a rather compromising position. Fenris was just enduring the torture trying not to pay much attention to their prattle. He wasn't here for the company after all; if he had wanted simply to get drunk he could have done it in his mansion. He wanted to see her. He had not dared to visit her in the morning, not after what he had seen and heard last night.
Varric interrupted his thoughts refilling his tankard "So, Broody I think you were a little too slow." Fenris didn't answer; just refrained to finish his drink and muttering a 'thank you' he left.
On his way to Hightown he bumped into Hawke, his lyrium dimly activating with the contact.
"You didn't come this morning"
"I didn't think my presence was needed" his words coming out with a bit of a slur. She tried to reach for him but he flinched back. "Where did you leave him?"
Hawke didn't understand why he was so angry when he had been the one asking Anders to stay with her. What she felt for Anders was different, he reminded her of her father.
"He left after breakfast"
"Sorry about my interference yesterday, had I known about your interest —"
"What?" she interrupted.
But either he was too drunk to see her irritation or didn't care "I have to go."
When Hawke arrived to the Hanged Man, Varric was retelling the story of how they had found her and Anders in a 'way too hard to achieve because she isn't that bendy' position and several broken furniture.
"Is that what you've been telling to people?"
"Of course, it helps the whole sexy hero reputation" Varric answered.
"You know some people might misinterpret the story, like they might believe it actually happened"
"With people you mean a certain angsty elf" said Isabella suddenly more interested in this side of the table.
"Probably" Hawke answered trying to control the flush in her cheeks.
"We thought it would help him make his move faster."
She rolled her eyes "Are you kidding me? You are still feeding that idea? We are just friends and the thought of it is just awkward—"
"That is called sexual tension" Isabella purred with a wicked smile. I wish Hawke dared to think.
"How could he… Where did you get this idea in the first place?" she sounded irritated but there was this hopeful glint in her eyes that gave her away.
"It is so painfully obvious it hurts me, it physically hurts me" said Isabella pretending to have a dagger in her chest.
"That is because you are looking at it from the wrong perspective" Hawke groaned.
"Sweetling, even a blind could see it"
She just let her head fall on the table and let their talk keep on going.
"I just don't get women, why do you find suffering so appealing?" Varric asked finishing his drink.
"Easiest way to get laid, save the damsel in distress"
"Fenris is not a damsel" grunted Hawke with her face still on the table.
"Don't you worry kitten, you're still getting laid" Isabella pinched her cheek, "or he will" she reassured her with smile.
Hawke had seen a bit too many times how Isabella flirted with Fenris. He never responded to her advances still, he also had never said no; he only got impossibly still and scowled more than usual. How much more would it take for him to give in and comply with Isabella's whims?
"Had I known sooner I'd have brooded and cursed everyone over my lack of beard" said Varric gesturing for more ale.
"You can't, your chest hair compensates all the disgrace and misfortune you find in life" finished Isabella.
Some days passed, a few missions were taken and Fenris hadn't showed up, not even once. No one had seen him. It wasn't the first time he was avoiding company, but it was the first time he avoided hers. She knew something was wrong. He was usually eager to hear the summaries of the missions that he had not been in, always giving advice, training or simply sharing a bottle of wine.
They had grown closer since her mother had passed away. He had been the only one who was able to keep the guilt demons away. He understood that she didn't need soft empty words of comfort; she just needed someone to be there. To assure her that it was not her fault, that she had not provoked it.
It was a bit terrifying how quickly she had grown used to his presence, how much he missed him every day, how badly she wanted to be rid of these feelings and how much she secretly craved he felt the same way.
She decided it was enough, if he didn't want to be bothered he should at least have the decency of sending a message instead of keeping her worried with his absence.
When she was at the door, something made her hesitate. It was too late to visit for practice and too early for wine. Then she remembered, Shartan's book. His name was the first that crossed her mind as soon as she read the title.
Now that she had it in her hands wrapped in a red ribbon, she was able to walk with a bit more confidence to his mansion.
Fenris heard a soft rustle downstairs, he knew only by the sound of the steps who it was and continued sharpening his sword.
When she entered, he just gave her a nod to greet her.
"Why have you been hiding from me?" she blurted out the question to immediately regret it.
"I haven't, you know where to find me. I thought you haven't needed me" his face expressionless.
"I don't come here just when I need you. You're my friend. I enjoy just being with you." That got his attention. He looked up to meet her eyes. She had called him friend; the meaning of the word was foreign to him. He had never been able to call someone or been called a friend, "you trust too fast."
She avoided his eyes, nothing had really changed and yet, now she felt uneasy in his presence, "easy comes, easy goes."
"I'd rather not give it at all. People always find a way to lose it."
"But that way is easier to see them for who they really are"
He considered the thought but Fenris always preferred to keep his distance, a wall between himself and the outside world, it was safer this way; until he met Hawke and her ability to trespass personal space.
"Very well, if you don't need my assistance then what brings you here?"
"I just want to talk Fenris" she said sitting on the opposite bench.
"Go ahead"
"And I also brought you something that I thought you might like" she said offering him a leather bound book. He just looked at it.
"If that is one of Isabella's stories, there is no need for it, I happen to get the audio version from her anyway"
It felt as if a hundred poisoned needles stabbed her heart at the same moment and still she had no right to feel like this. She had no claim over him and Isabella had made it very obvious every now and then that if Hawke didn't want to make a move, she'd be happy to do it.
She felt the sudden need to go and stood to leave.
"I didn't know you and Isabella were intimate" she said trying not to stutter.
"We are not" he said sounding irritated.
"Oh" was all she could say before she pressed her lips into a thin line and tried to appear stoic even though inside she was doing a ridiculous victory dance.
"Why?" he stood. "Did she tell you otherwise?" he asked coming closer scrutinizing her face.
"No… It's just… because you said that you got to hear her… so I thought that you were…" she was so nervous, gesturing too much, taking two steps back for every step he took forward. Her back soon met the wall and he was too close to her "it's by Shartan"
"What?" he stopped.
"The book" she pushed him back with it.
He took it, looking bewildered. "Thank you" he said walking back to the bench where he left it, then grabbed his wet stone and just fidgeted with it.
"I better get going. Sorry if I disrupted your evening" she was walking to the door.
"Hawke, they don't teach slaves how to read" he said nonchalantly. That stopped her abruptly.
"Oh Maker, I am sorry, of course how could I be so stupid" Hawke apologized walking back to him to retrieve the book but found it already open in Fenris hands "I'm sorry Fenris I didn't mean to offend you. I won't tell anyone"
He smirked, "you didn't and it is no secret. That is how I got the audio version from Isabella"
"I could always teach you, you know" she offered without thinking much about it.
"I'd like that" he gave her the slightest hint of a smile.
Thank you for reading (: