Chapter 2
"So it was a Thursday…I think…let's see," Eliza squinted her eyes, trying her best to concentrate on that day. "First drink I had was a…ah, yeah, a dry martini with three olives; that would be a Thursday. What's that saying, 'you tell the day by the bottle that you drink'? Yeah, that's me alright."
"You digress, Sarr. Remember, your life is on the line," said the man in the dark.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyways, it was around eight or so in the morning, and I had just finished my fourth martini. You see, the alcohol actually—." The man cleared his throat.
"Sheesh, tough audience. Fine, I'll get right to the point. So I was 'trollin' Fortune's Wheel in St. Martial, interrogating a few Carnies to get the whereabouts of one of their drug traffickers. Jerk owes me gambling money. Anyways, I wander into the most deserted part of the forest, thinking I heard that freak hiding in the bushes, when this weird, shiny portal thing just opens up in thin air. I dove for cover, thinking it was another Rikti invasion, but all that came out were these gangbangers. Weird, huh? Who woulda thunk a good-fer-nothin' thug could actually use technology as advanced as a teleporter?
"The next couple of guys that came out were more bizarre than that! First, there was this eye-candy chick with black wings and robotic legs, then this little—thing—with metal jaws and teeth and green eyes, then a guy who looked like he came from a 'Catz!' show, a big, hairy monkey dude with cyborg arms, then a lady with pitch-black and glass-smooth skin. The last guy—their General, I guess—really took the cake: he was this big lizard guy with brown-black scales, green eyes, and a tail, and he was wearing this weird animal skull as a helmet, strange bone shoulder pads and leg pads, a belt with a skull on it, and a hooded cloak. This guy was seriously big, but not as big as monkey boy.
"It looked like they just came from a big battle, with several of the gangbangers bleeding out and all. And they all spoke this weird language, like nothing I've ever heard before. The lizard guy was issuing orders, I guess, when the little freak with teeth sniffed me out. The way he was clacking his teeth and staring at me…like he wanted to eat me! Gave me the chills, you know? Luckily the cat called the bugger off. I asked them who they were, but it didn't seem like they understood me. Then the lizard said something, and the black chick came and did something to my ears. Told that bitch to back the fuck off before I popped her with Zippy Jerome."
"Before you did what with who?" asked the man.
"My Desert Eagle, Zippy Jerome. You know…a gun? Doesn't everyone name their weapons?" The man didn't answer.
"Okay…whatever. So, Black Spinel chick backs off and does this weird aural thing with the rest of her team. Then, all of a sudden, everyone started making sense! It's like she did a translate power or something. Then the lizard guy demands to know who I am and where they were. Couldn't believe they didn't know who I was or where they were! It was as if they were from another world—ones filled with freaks like them, I bet. Anyways, I tell them what they want, 'cause I didn't want them letting that little freak have his way with me. Those eyes and teeth still give me the creeps!"
"Did they mention who they were, where they're from, or why they came to our world?" the man asked.
"They didn't say too much about where they were from," said Eliza, becoming annoyed with his interruptions. "But I got a few names: the lizard guy was called General Shadow Raptor, the monkey boy was Brutus 'the Merciless', bird girl was Felicia 'the Beautiful' (go figure!), Lion King was called Lazon 'the Proud' (so cliché), and the little guy was Neville 'the Ruthless'…and boy did those names fit them! Never got the name of the black chick, but I had a feeling she was probably the most powerful of them all. As for why they were here," she rolled her eyes, "they wanted to conquer the world, just like the rest of us villains. Thing is, they weren't there to take over the world for Mr. General. They kept throwing around this weird name…er, let's see if I can get this right: kee-liz goo-uhl…yeah, I think that's how they said it. Anyways, from the way they talked about this guy, I'd guess he's their boss."
"I see," said the man. He opened a folder and inspected a few papers. "We recovered Arachnos intel about contact with unidentified villains in the same forest the same day."
"Oh, yeah," Eliza sneered. "A few minutes after introductions, a patrol of spiders walked in on our parade and were all 'Cease and desist' on our butts. Worse than the police, I tell ya', but what can you expect when they're a big bad techno-power? Well, Mr. General didn't seem too convinced and had his gang of animal freaks take on the Arachnos. Boy was that a sight to see! Long story short, the new guys sent the spiders home with a few missing limbs. Shadow Raptor seemed to be annoyed by the Arachnos' presence, so he made me a deal."
"A deal?"
"Yeah, he said that he and his 'EULA Gang' would spare my life in the 'oncoming storm' and even allow me membership in their little club if I roughed up and sent a message to the leader of the Arachnos."
"And what did you tell him?"
"I told him he was out of his mind if he thought I would take on Lord Recluse himself," she laughed. "Besides, it's not like I would have gotten close to him without his Black Guard's notice. Mr. General needed a bit more explaining about the Black Guard. He asked me if I would suffice with taking on one of the Black Guards and having them give Spider-Boy a message. Took him a bit more convincing before I agreed to do it, but let's keep this between you and me: I would have done it anyways. I just like to haggle, you know?"
"And why did you choose Captain Mako as your target?" asked the man.
"'Cause he pisses me off," said Eliza. "I had a grudge to settle, and I was more than ready to take on fish-face!"
The projection sharpened before Jon as he watched the memories he never knew he had. March 12, 2009 began like any other morning for Jon with him trying to pry open his armor at the seals, ending in failure. He would have to live another day trapped in this horrible, sweltering armor. Jon would try to make the best out of this armor, which he doesn't even remember putting on at any point in his life. One day Jon just woke up as Gabriel Knight in an alley, with little memory of his past and absolutely no memory of how he came into possession of the armor.
Jon didn't call himself "Gabriel Knight" by accident. Engraved on his chest piece was this moniker, and he couldn't make head or tails of what it meant. After the first few failed attempts at removing the armor, Jon knew his life would never be normal again. He came to the resolution that he must find the people responsible for his demise, and figuring that only the corrupt and sadistic would cause him so much grief, Jon took to the streets as a hero. Jon taught himself to fight with handheld weapons, which were easier to attain than firearms, eventually adopting a longsword as his trusted sidekick.
After quickly washing his head – the only part of his body exposed from the armor – with water and shampoo, Jon grabbed a quick bite of cereal and two percent milk and set off for his day of searching and fighting crime. Jon lived five blocks south of Atlas Park, a hot spot for all heroes and vigilantes, especially veterans, so he didn't expect to find any wrong-doers near such a dangerous zone. But, just as it surprises all Atlas regulars, there were a couple of Hellion gangsters roughing up a tourist around the corner. Do these guys have common sense? Regardless, with a hack and a slash, both gangsters were neutralized.
Jon turned to make sure the tourist was okay and was surprisingly met with a street full of nobody. He paused for a few moments, blinking his eyes and trying to make the people come back into view.
"Uh, hello?" Jon called out. He turned to make sure those two gangsters were still unconscious behind him, but again was lost in a deserted street. All the cars and trucks remained where they were in the middle of the road, as if their drivers up and left. Silence hung in the air like a mist. "Hello? Is anybody out there?"
The eerie silence swallowed his question. Jon noticed that there was absolutely no city ruckus in the background and ran down the street. He turned another corner and faced one of the busiest streets in Atlas Park. Yet again, he found not a single soul. Jon looked to the sky, but saw no heroes in mid-flight. Even the dirigible that circled the park hung in the air, lifeless. This really irked him, more than the ignorance of those gangsters.
"Hello? Anyone?" Jon yelled towards Atlas Park. Then suddenly in the distance, a large speck crossed the last street before the park into Jon's view. Jon squinted to focus on the human figure, the tense lump in his gut finally falling in relief. "Hey! Hey you! Over here!"
The speck began to grow larger rapidly. The person was in a dead run, headed straight for Jon. It was a large man in pants and a tank top with a few strange tattoos wrapped around his arms. What Jon saw next made him regret ever beckoning the stranger: the man began to roar in a blind rage, waving a large sledgehammer above his head.
"Oh crap," Jon moaned. "Another head case with brawn!" The brute towered over Jon an extra one and a half feet, bringing the sledgehammer down as fast as lightning. Jon dodged the crushing blow by a centimeter and unsheathed his sword, ready for battle. He was caught off guard by how fast the giant really was, his sword vibrating after a swift swipe of the sledgehammer. The monster grumbled something in an indecipherable language, grabbed Jon by the helmet, and threw him through a building. The armor absorbed the brunt of the impact, but severely stunned Jon.
"Well," Jon gasped, already winded, "that was…wooh…!" The brute stood in the hole in the wall, laughing in a manner akin to how a crocodile would laugh if it could. Jon was at a serious disadvantage: he was a crude fighter and never figured out if his armor had any special capabilities besides shielding him from harm. He was just an ordinary man tucked into a tin can for the brute to eventually crush. Even Jon's longsword wouldn't last long against that sledgehammer!
Suddenly the beast shuddered and seized as electricity arced across his body, giving out a terrible groan before he fell to the ground face-first. A graying orange-haired old man in camo, around the same height as Jon, stood before the fallen giant, his arm outstretched with a tech gauntlet that also coursed with electricity.
"Huh, thanks for the save," Jon said as he struggled to stand. The camo man clenched his armored fist, deactivating the taser function. With his unarmored hand, he pressed an invisible button on his belt buckle, causing the gauntlet to digitize and dissolve into a white and purple aura. "Whoa, neat. I could really use something like that, Mister – ?"
"Er," squinted the camo man as if trying to remember something. "No…speak…English?" he said carefully, tapping his earlobe.
"Huh, well I don't speak anything other than English, friend." The man approached Jon with a small device in his fingers. He motioned to his own ear.
"Understand?" the man mouthed roughly. Jon took the device from him with caution, looking back to the man for clarity. He motioned with his finger into his ear, and promptly placed another device into his own ear. Finally understanding, Jon placed his device into his ear.
"Like this?" Jon asked.
"Ah, much better," sighed the camo man. "Universal Learning Translator. It'll help break our language barrier. Any-who, hello! I'm Ray. I noticed that EULA gangster was about to pound you into jelly, so I figured I'd carry out my heroic duty for a fellow armored vigilante. You are a good guy…aren't you?"
"Yeah…I am. I'm Knight, Gabriel Knight."
"Real name or…?"
"Oh, no," Jon tapped on his breastplate. "Codename."
"Ah," Ray nodded.
"So you're a hero, too?"
"Yeah, so weird isn't it?"
"What?"
"You know," Ray suggested. "Considering…?"
"Considering…what?" asked Jon, completely confused.
"Well, you're the only one who hasn't been transferred, and out of all the ordinary people…"
"Wait, what? Transferred?"
"Oh, you don't know why you were left behind?"
"I'm completely confused," Jon sighed, rubbing his helmet. He must have bumped his head harder than he thought.
"Oh! Well, we really wouldn't expect any natives to know what happened, so I guess the same goes for you considering your circumstances," Ray chuckled. Was this guy insane? "Long story short, I'm from a sort of police force, and we're chasing down a group of EULA gangsters who illegally hopped into your dimension to rule your universe for their overlord. In an attempt to minimalize any further damages in this dimension, we've set up a kind of protective barrier that phases all native organisms in an area into a pocket dimension we've manufactured, where they will remain in stasis until we've contained the situation. These little pockets of emptiness, like the one you and I are in, are inaccessible to natives outside of the barrier."
"Oh," stumbled Jon, attempting to comprehend all that was just thrown at him. "But what about the people outside the barrier? Wouldn't you think that they would panic if they couldn't cross the border?"
"Well," said Ray as he took in another breath from that lengthy explanation. "The way this system works, they, too, won't notice a thing when the barrier is taken away. The area inside this bubble is also in a form of stasis to the outside world. Basically, we took out all the natives inside the bubble and left ourselves to act freely without the worry of discovery because to us, the outside world has paused in time. When the bubble is popped, the affected area will carry on as if nothing happened," Ray paused again for another breath. "Except, of course, if the environment inside the bubble has been altered, in which case the world will notice. But not to worry, the UPPA is very good at cleaning up messes."
"The UPPA?"
"The Universal Peace and Protection Agency, the police force I'm a part of."
"Never heard of them," said Jon, still baffled by the wall of information that just hit him.
"Did I skip the part about alternate dimensions," asked Ray. "I don't think I did." Jon stared at him in disbelief. This guy was bat-shit crazy, definitely FUBAR.
"But enough explanation," said Ray, noticing that estranged look in Jon's face. "There are a lot more dudes like this one," he pointed to the fallen giant, "plus a few bigger, badder bunnies scattered across a short distance on your world here. The UPPA could contain the EULA gangsters with little to no casualties, but we could always use help. Since you're the first, and hopefully the only, person to escape transfer, you can help us arrest the baddies. It's also rare for us to team up with other super heroes from another dimension, so I'm a bit giddy to see you in action!"
"Oh, no! I'm no super hero," Jon said, backing away and waving his hands in front of him. "I'm just a normal guy who can wave a sharp stick, stuck in a suit of armor he knows nothing about."
"Well then there's nothing to worry about, 'cause you and I are alike," smiled Ray. "We're both Joe Normals in suits of armor. We may not be super, but it's what we do that makes us heroes!"
Jon seriously considered following this madman around, wondering what kind of troubles Ray could get him into. But if there were more thugs like Titanic down there out in the world, it was his duty to protect the good and innocent people from those monsters. Jon would be risking his life for the greater good. So it's true: all super heroes are madmen and women in tights! "Very well, I'll help you," Jon sighed, knowing he may regret his decision later.
"Great to hear, friendly Knight," smiled Ray, patting Jon on the back. "If my fears are true, there may be more natives that have resisted transfer, and some of them may be crazy enough to join the EULA Gang when they open up recruitment, which they most definitely will do given the chance. Our first task is to neutralize all EULA gangsters around this place…?"
"Atlas Park," Jon helped.
"Right, Atlas Park. Take out the EULA so they don't gain any new native recruits. There will be UPPA patrols around here, so help them out whenever you can while I go back to mission command to find out where else the EULA have landed on this planet. You and the UPPA will make a great team, I'm sure of it."