Chapter 2: Regrets
A/N: Okay, I have to admit, I don't really have a plan for this like I do with my other fics. I'm just writing. Thanks to all my lovely reviewers—I don't think I would have written another chapter if it weren't for you guys. I think this will probably be extremely shippy later, but for now, who can say?
I got all depressed and mad at myself for writing 'Eyes Wide Shut', so I wanted a little fluff in my life. So consider this cotton candy with hot sauce—fluff and a little spice.
Okay, for the sake of non-confusion, let me explain how I wrote this. The first few paragraphs are flashbacks to last week, right after Sam and her family took off, and after the first chapter of this story. However, Max is really just reflecting on it from an event that took place in this episode (I'm going to change the ending). But whatever, just read it.
1 Max
I didn't know what to say. I mean, what do you say to a guy whose grinning at you like an idiot? So, I did the only thing I could. After we'd dealed with White and his goons, and gotten Sam back with her family, I did the first thing that popped into my mind. I kissed him. Not Logan, Alec. I hated the look of betray on his face, and I could just see his mind ticking away, trying to figure out what he'd missed.
I hated to hurt him like that. But I loved him, so I did it anyway. We've got a pretty warped sense of love these days, don't we?
I never much liked the saying 'You always hurt the ones you love'. Figured it was too cliché. Maybe it was just that I'd never really had anyone that I'd loved like I loved Logan.
When he looked at me, I wanted to cry. When he looked at me I wanted to die. Not to mention that Alec was looking at me like I'd gone loony. Then I went up to him, and, in his face said the suicide words. "What are you staring at?"
It was mean, it was cruel. He left looking as if he wanted to die, and I wanted to die along with him. I hate myself for it. But now, a week later, it doesn't really matter. All those lies that I gave him for his own protection don't amount to anything, seeing as I'm going to die in a little while anyway.
I stand here in White's little transgenic prison, wondering how long it will be before he kills me. How long before he stops the useless questions about his son and snaps. How long before my suffering's over. He killed C.J. long ago, killed his own brother slowly, piece by piece, in hopes of getting an answer from me.
I don't think I could even escape if I wanted to. He's broken both of my legs, along with my pinkie, left wrist, and cheekbone. I'm pretty sure I have two black eyes, which probably makes me look like an over-grown raccoon.
Even with all that, I'm pretty sure I would be able to ditch this place, if it hadn't been for the blood loss. In one of his last miserable attempts to get me to talk, White gave me a peachy little incision in my side with one of his car keys. From what I can see it's a few inches long and pretty deep.
I'll die here, bleeding to death. But the thing that bothers me the most is that I'll die with regrets. I'll die having not told Alec that I'm sorry for being such a bitch to him, not having told him that he's become a brother to me.
I'll die not having thanked Original Cindy for watching my back all those times, not having told her that she *is* my sister.
I'll die not having told Logan that he is my world.
My last thoughts are of him as I slip into darkness.
2 Logan
I don't know what I was thinking. I was a fool to believe that she had actually lied to me about Alec. I starting to think I was happier *before* I overheard Max and Sam's conversation. At least the worst of it was the Alec thing. Now I find out that she was lying to me about something else.
I hate her. I hate myself for loving her so much.
I hate the telephone for ringing so loudly, interrupting my thoughts.
Alec's on the other line. The last person I wanted to talk to in a million years.
"Logan." I don't know why I'm even wasting my time listening to this guy. Oh yeah—because I'm the idealistic crusader on a mission. "Yeah." I try to sound cheerful but I'm not sure if it's working. "Max is in trouble." The mental siren turns on in my head. Max, the love of my life in trouble? I must save her! Full speed ahead.
Oh yeah. I can't save her. I'm not a knight in shining armor, I'm the broken cripple she cheated on. Never the less, I find myself jumping into the conversation. "Where is she?"
Half an hour later, I find myself in my Aztec with Alec and two X-6s in the back. I can't help but ask.
"So Alec, how did it start between you and Max?
He looks at me like I'm nuts…
3 Max
I have to be dreaming, 'cause the next thing I hear a clicking on my cell door's lock. I thought White was done with me. Maybe he just came to finish the job.
I really *know* I'm dreaming when I see Logan walk through the door—not an inch of his skin exposed except for his face. "Logan?" God is that my voice that I hear in my ears? It sounds raspy in weak. "It's okay Max, I've got you."
I know this can't be a dream because all the sudden all the pain and torture I've had in the last 24 hours or so comes flooding back. But it doesn't really matter, because Logan's here. He's currently trying to undo my hand-shackles with a pick, but I can't really tell because I can't seem to keep my eyes open.
The next thing I know, he's scooping me up in his arms. My knight in a shining exoskeleton. "Logan, I can walk…" I can barely get the words out of my mouth. He strengthens his grip on me, and I can't really remember anything after that.
***
I wake up in a bead. My first thought is that it's Joshua's bead, but no, Joshua lives in Terminal City now. This is Logan's bead. My head hurts like a bitch, and I can't seem to remember anything after Logan come and rescued me at…at where ever White was keeping me. I try and try, but my brain just can't seem to work.
The next thing I know, Logan's in the room. I guess I must have fallen asleep again, because I didn't see or hear him come in. The look on his face is half-relieved, half angry.
"Max, we need to talk. I know you and Alec aren't together…"
TBC
A/N: Okay, uh…thanks for reading my fic! Please review. On a more serious note, guys—and I hate to get all melodramatic here—don't be in a situation where if you die tomorrow, you'll have regrets. Tell your friends and family you love them. You never know when one of them can get taken away from you.
I'm serious, it can happen in the blink of an eye.
Anyway, sorry to get all mushy on you, I just don't want anyone to have the same regrets I've had.
--Terin
A/N: Okay, I have to admit, I don't really have a plan for this like I do with my other fics. I'm just writing. Thanks to all my lovely reviewers—I don't think I would have written another chapter if it weren't for you guys. I think this will probably be extremely shippy later, but for now, who can say?
I got all depressed and mad at myself for writing 'Eyes Wide Shut', so I wanted a little fluff in my life. So consider this cotton candy with hot sauce—fluff and a little spice.
Okay, for the sake of non-confusion, let me explain how I wrote this. The first few paragraphs are flashbacks to last week, right after Sam and her family took off, and after the first chapter of this story. However, Max is really just reflecting on it from an event that took place in this episode (I'm going to change the ending). But whatever, just read it.
1 Max
I didn't know what to say. I mean, what do you say to a guy whose grinning at you like an idiot? So, I did the only thing I could. After we'd dealed with White and his goons, and gotten Sam back with her family, I did the first thing that popped into my mind. I kissed him. Not Logan, Alec. I hated the look of betray on his face, and I could just see his mind ticking away, trying to figure out what he'd missed.
I hated to hurt him like that. But I loved him, so I did it anyway. We've got a pretty warped sense of love these days, don't we?
I never much liked the saying 'You always hurt the ones you love'. Figured it was too cliché. Maybe it was just that I'd never really had anyone that I'd loved like I loved Logan.
When he looked at me, I wanted to cry. When he looked at me I wanted to die. Not to mention that Alec was looking at me like I'd gone loony. Then I went up to him, and, in his face said the suicide words. "What are you staring at?"
It was mean, it was cruel. He left looking as if he wanted to die, and I wanted to die along with him. I hate myself for it. But now, a week later, it doesn't really matter. All those lies that I gave him for his own protection don't amount to anything, seeing as I'm going to die in a little while anyway.
I stand here in White's little transgenic prison, wondering how long it will be before he kills me. How long before he stops the useless questions about his son and snaps. How long before my suffering's over. He killed C.J. long ago, killed his own brother slowly, piece by piece, in hopes of getting an answer from me.
I don't think I could even escape if I wanted to. He's broken both of my legs, along with my pinkie, left wrist, and cheekbone. I'm pretty sure I have two black eyes, which probably makes me look like an over-grown raccoon.
Even with all that, I'm pretty sure I would be able to ditch this place, if it hadn't been for the blood loss. In one of his last miserable attempts to get me to talk, White gave me a peachy little incision in my side with one of his car keys. From what I can see it's a few inches long and pretty deep.
I'll die here, bleeding to death. But the thing that bothers me the most is that I'll die with regrets. I'll die having not told Alec that I'm sorry for being such a bitch to him, not having told him that he's become a brother to me.
I'll die not having thanked Original Cindy for watching my back all those times, not having told her that she *is* my sister.
I'll die not having told Logan that he is my world.
My last thoughts are of him as I slip into darkness.
2 Logan
I don't know what I was thinking. I was a fool to believe that she had actually lied to me about Alec. I starting to think I was happier *before* I overheard Max and Sam's conversation. At least the worst of it was the Alec thing. Now I find out that she was lying to me about something else.
I hate her. I hate myself for loving her so much.
I hate the telephone for ringing so loudly, interrupting my thoughts.
Alec's on the other line. The last person I wanted to talk to in a million years.
"Logan." I don't know why I'm even wasting my time listening to this guy. Oh yeah—because I'm the idealistic crusader on a mission. "Yeah." I try to sound cheerful but I'm not sure if it's working. "Max is in trouble." The mental siren turns on in my head. Max, the love of my life in trouble? I must save her! Full speed ahead.
Oh yeah. I can't save her. I'm not a knight in shining armor, I'm the broken cripple she cheated on. Never the less, I find myself jumping into the conversation. "Where is she?"
Half an hour later, I find myself in my Aztec with Alec and two X-6s in the back. I can't help but ask.
"So Alec, how did it start between you and Max?
He looks at me like I'm nuts…
3 Max
I have to be dreaming, 'cause the next thing I hear a clicking on my cell door's lock. I thought White was done with me. Maybe he just came to finish the job.
I really *know* I'm dreaming when I see Logan walk through the door—not an inch of his skin exposed except for his face. "Logan?" God is that my voice that I hear in my ears? It sounds raspy in weak. "It's okay Max, I've got you."
I know this can't be a dream because all the sudden all the pain and torture I've had in the last 24 hours or so comes flooding back. But it doesn't really matter, because Logan's here. He's currently trying to undo my hand-shackles with a pick, but I can't really tell because I can't seem to keep my eyes open.
The next thing I know, he's scooping me up in his arms. My knight in a shining exoskeleton. "Logan, I can walk…" I can barely get the words out of my mouth. He strengthens his grip on me, and I can't really remember anything after that.
***
I wake up in a bead. My first thought is that it's Joshua's bead, but no, Joshua lives in Terminal City now. This is Logan's bead. My head hurts like a bitch, and I can't seem to remember anything after Logan come and rescued me at…at where ever White was keeping me. I try and try, but my brain just can't seem to work.
The next thing I know, Logan's in the room. I guess I must have fallen asleep again, because I didn't see or hear him come in. The look on his face is half-relieved, half angry.
"Max, we need to talk. I know you and Alec aren't together…"
TBC
A/N: Okay, uh…thanks for reading my fic! Please review. On a more serious note, guys—and I hate to get all melodramatic here—don't be in a situation where if you die tomorrow, you'll have regrets. Tell your friends and family you love them. You never know when one of them can get taken away from you.
I'm serious, it can happen in the blink of an eye.
Anyway, sorry to get all mushy on you, I just don't want anyone to have the same regrets I've had.
--Terin