Pain. Beeping. Phil.
These were the first things that popped into my mind as I awoke gasping for air. I wait until my breathing calms a bit and struggle to open my eyes but the sudden whiteness of the alien room makes me shut them again almost immediately. I groan in pain as I realise the extent of my injuries and a murmur escapes my lips:
"Phil…"
I open my eyes again, more warily. How long was I out for? Days? It was hard to tell if it was day or night with the curtains drawn and only artificial light brightening up the room. I automatically try to bring my left hand up to massage the ache in my temples only to feel excruciating pain in lower arm. My eyes shoot open in shock and my breathing halts as my entire body freezes in agony. I sit incredibly still for a few moments to gather my surroundings. I'm lying on my side in a hospital bed located in a small room. I look down at my arm to see it covered in a cast. The beeping must be coming from a heart monitor as it rapidly sped up when I attempted to move my arm. Now that I figured out the first two things on the list, I could focus on more important things.
Phil.
Where is he? Is he hurt? Is he even alive? What about our apartment?
I try to recall exactly what happened. I contemplate what's real and what's not. I remember a loud bang and we ran down the stairs. That's when I fell. There was screaming. But was it my own? It becomes harder and harder to make out the hazy memories. Like a nightmare. Not totally clear when you try to remember it.
I peer around the room and begin to relax when I find Phil lying unconscious on the only other bed, directly opposite of me. He looked so sweet and innocent when he sleeps.
What? Oh my god. Did I really just think that? I'm straight. I've only dated girls in the past. And what about the handholding? That was just support right? I was injured. He helped me.
He saved my life.
It must be the trauma and medication that's making me go loopy.
Just at that moment, a nurse walks in.
"Good afternoon, Dan!" she says cheerily. She was very well spoken and was dressed in her uniform. "You're just in time for lunch! How are you feeling?"
It takes a great deal of effort for me to grunt: "what happened?" Maybe I imagined everything. But how does that explain the injuries?
"There was a fire in your apartment complex 2 days ago. You're very lucky. Not everyone managed to escape in time. Having said that you did fracture your arm and suffer second and third degree burns on your back."
That would explain.
"Phil..?" was all I could manage in response.
"He suffered burns too but you're both going to be right as rain in no time." She checked our medical progress and with a smile, she left, promising to return soon with some food.
With nothing else to do other than to watch Phil sleep peacefully, I try to figure out my feelings towards Phil. I've never thought about him more than a best friend, a brother if anything. We're both heterosexual. Then why did I feel so safe when he held my hand?
Tired, confused and in pain, I burst into tears. The entire shock and trauma suddenly hit me. I can't help but let out huge sobs and gulps. By the time I cease crying, I am hyperventilating and shivering so hard that I awaken Phil.
"Dan.." I hear a slightly muffled voice that could only belong to him. I smile although there are still tears slowly dripping down my cheeks.
"Dan.." he repeats softly.
"I'm here, pet. Don't you worry." I reply in a soothing tone. I feel like it's my job to make sure he feels safe. I owe him.
He opens his eyes slowly and winces in pain.
"Good to see you're awake, Phil!" the nurse chirps as she wheels a trolley full of food into our ward. "Now, the doctor will be here in about a few hours to check your progress and see how soon you can leave. You can try sitting properly while you eat your lunch if you want," she says pointing to the small table and 2 chairs near the window. She pulls 2 trays from the trolley, sets them on the table and opens the blinds to reveal another bleak, rainy afternoon in Manchester. The kind nurse helps me to stand and tells me if we want anything else, just to ask for Mary and she'll be there in a jiffy.
Phil now fully conscious, chuckles as I hobble over towards the table.
"What?" I ask indignantly.
"You look like an old man," he replies and dissolves in a load of giggles again.
"Well you look about 10 when you sleep."
"Oh really, Grandpa?"
This is why I love Phil. He can cheer me up when I need him the most.
I laugh as I sit down and inspect the unidentified dish in front of me.
"What is it?" says Phil.
I ponder for a moment, poking and prodding at the mysterious meat. "I'm not too sure actually." I bring my face closer towards the food and sniff. "What ever it is, it doesn't smell very appetizing."
"That's hospital food for you, I guess."
"Hmm." Is all I say in response as my hunger takes over me and I wolf down the strange grub. Phil makes his way towards the table in a similar fashion as I did and I get my turn in laughing at him.
We're both eating our food and discussing the incident when both of our mums walk in, armed with chocolates, flowers and presents.