Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
AN: I know most of you didn't quite get what happened in the first chapter. But it'll all be explained as the story unfolds. But hopefully most of your questions will more or less answered in this chapter. Warning: This is an un-beta-ed chapter.
Chapter 1: The Betrayal
The city is a huge, colorful patchwork circle, shaped almost cone-like as its highest buildings are located in the middle with smaller constructions jutting out of it. A small, fragile looking bridge, so thin that it is almost invisible from this distance, connects the tallest building to, the surprisingly whole, Hokage Mountain. It has been awhile since I could refer to it not only as an address but also as a geographical structure. A smile breaks out on my face, cracking the old wrinkles as it spreads. A still standing, glorious Konoha. This must be Heaven. I have been measured, and it seems as if, I deserve heaven.
I can feel my face crinkle as my smile widens before I bend my knees to stamp my feet fast against the ground in my on-back position, waving my arms around randomly in a fit of happiness. To any onlooker I must look like I am having a seizure. But who cares! I'm happy. So freakishly happy, it's almost scary. I feel like a bird that has been denied soaring in the sky for far too long. The height is frightening, but so long desired! There is just so much energy inside my body that I do not know what to do with it.
As I sit up (originally to get up and do some form of victory dance) my wiry veins and hammering heart pulsate faster and I notice something; the heaviness in my limbs that has stalked me for so long is completely absent. I can not help but to snicker under my breath as I murmur to nobody "Young again!" Taking a deep breath, blowing up my lungs like small balloons before releasing the air into the sky once again. Touching my face to find the wrinkles, scars and signs of my long, hard life dissolved into soft, youthful skin.
I'm still grinning as I bounce towards the distant Konoha thinking that; had I known this, I'd off'ed myself years ago! My sober funeral clothes however, flail wildly around me to the extent that I have to stop my victory parade, to tuck it in at places and even tie it at others before continuing. When I reach the huge, lush forest surrounding Konoha containing curiously pink-sprinkled cherry trees and strong oak accompanied by lashing willows, I notice a bit startled that the trees wear signs of a fight. Bits of blown-off bark, white wounded trunks and wilted tufts of grass lying sadly by the side of the worn path I'm entering. I immediately move off the path, into the soothing shadows, to silently creep along it. The signs of it are not fresh but I'm unarmed and they are obviously not. The grass stick between my bare and tense toes as the loose thorns of some wild roses stings my raw foot soles when I hurriedly continue on.
A stray thought hits my minds bull's-eye as I realize the difficulty of entering a hostile Konoha through the front gates. Are there any guidelines for this sort of thing? Can I just walk up to them and say who I am? I'm probably not the first newly-dead to show up at the gates, right? Newly-dead. Hehe. I'm so funny.
Suddenly a big, clammy hand is slapped down on my mouth muffling my surprised outburst. From reflex I bring my arm up and aim my elbow towards the person behind me only to miss and fall down on the hard ground due to the imbalance, dragging my attacker with me. We roll around a bit while cursing each other as I try to get free and turn around to deliver a more aimed fist. Dirt getting into my mouth and nose as I struggle with my spasming, unused, muscles. The fight ends however when I suddenly feel my body become dull and useless. Had I only paid attention-! I'm out of practice. Embarrassing, embarrassing. After I get out of this I won't tell a soul. As these thoughts that echoed inside my drugged skull, my unknown assailant drags me further away from the path, rocks and leafs grinding painlessly into the back of my drugged skull. I try in vain to convince myself that I could break out of this person's hold anytime I want. That I just intended to see who and what they want before kicking their asses. Honestly. I just wish he was strong enough to actually lift me properly.
As Jiraya, now actually carrying me, pulls me very inconspicuously over the thick, stonewall surrounding Konoha accompanied by a long and loud string of curses (apparently I'm heavy and too slack) I contemplate asking him why he could not just let me climb over on my own. Could this be an alternative universe? Could, dare I think it, Jiraya be EVIL here? If so…why is he smuggling me INTO Konoha? Isn't that counter-productive? Doesn't everyone want me OUT? Mysteries, mysteries. Or not really. I'll think this through after the drugs are out of my system. The travel to here has been full of pipeline visions and sudden paranoia. It is emotionally exhausting to be like this. First peaceful and happy then scared and stressed to the point where I can not breathe. This playful mood I am entering is by far the best one yet, and is probably a sign of that the drugs are losing their effect. Finally.
And after a seriously harmful trek trough the sub-urban Konoha Jiraya finally climb (and drags me after him) through a window and into some sort of staff room if the small kitchen and TV-corner is anything to go by, where he dumps me on a rickety wooden chair by the table in the corner. Fortunately I've regained enough sense to enable me to sit up on my own. But I still glower at him if only to make my point. He'll regret treating me as a sack of vegetables.
When the drug has completely left my brain I notice that he looks much, much younger than I have ever seen him. His skin is a healthy beige and his eyes more aware than before. But despite this, he still has pearls of sweat cascading down his brow from carrying me around. And there seems to be something hanging over him, something heavy and sad as he stands behind the table. When he speaks his voice is coarse and shivering with anxiety.
"Sorry about that. I-I just needed to get you fast and undetected into Konoha and you have never really… been a quiet and lenient person so…I panicked a bit." he stops to swing his arms around a bit as if that would fill the silence as he seem to think of what to say next. He takes a new, short and shaky breath before continuing, speaking low in his throat "it's a bit unfortunate that you'd arrive now but we can't really change that now can we? I mean, the thing is that um, there's a problem with you being here. A-and I'm sorry. But y-you- everything will be fi- people will be happy to se- Oh, God."
I try to take a deep breath and question him, to calm him down, but my body is still mute and I can only blink and sag a little less with my mouth as a response.
"The truth is that YOU can't be here but if you're a bit less you and a bit someone else it'll be fine you just can't be Namikaze Naruto but you can be Naruto. You can't really get close to them because you're so alike him but otherwise you're fine, ok? We knew you'd show up one day but we all hoped later rather than sooner a-and we'll fix this ok?" he finishes breathing heavily staring fixedly at my bare feet.
My field of vision darkens at the edges as I try to make sense of what Jiraya is, truthfully, babbling about. He is so far away from his normally collected or comic self that I have trouble keeping up and for a second an alternative version of him doesn't sound so improbable. He seems to pick up on my confusion since he closes his eyes and takes a very deep breath murmuring "gimme a sec" before starting to pace around in the room. Then he sinks down onto the chair facing mine behind the table and speaks slowly, coldly, seemingly contemplating the words as he speaks them, sometimes nodding to himself at times, without looking me in the eye. Something that disappoint, sadden and scare me as he speaks.
"Naruto, we're having political difficulties with Rock…Again. And everything depends on very few people right now. We have worked hard these last years to avoid war by keeping a low profile. We need to seem like we're all having a relaxed, idyllic life-style here. And had you showed up a bit earlier there wouldn't have been a problem but…Your parents, you know who your father is…and everybody was expecting you for so long and your parents seemed so sad and lost without you here a-and it was noticeable! The other nations saw a weakness and when they started to act on it we could only try to cover it up…And with you being the Kyuubi's vessel in such a close relationship with a Hokage they would-"
The air inside the apartment seems to stop, the dust particles gleaming merrily as if laughing at me. The world loves to laugh at me. It really does.
"It could only end badly Naruto. You know this too. So we had another orphan stand in for you. H-he knows he's not you, but all civilians-. Everybody that does not know of you being the son of them, believes him to be the real deal. And since you are rather similar, in appearance at least, to your father you shouldn't be seen next to him. Or your mother. You'll probably be registered as a civilian until we can find a spot for you where there won't be any…misunderstandings. You understand right? It's for everyone's safety. " As I numbly listen to Jiraya trying to apologize for something I should have realized on my own, I'll never be happy, I think about before, a long time ago.
When I was a child and I wanted a home, were somebody would meet me at the door, greet me, fuss over me, worry for me, I often asked where I belonged. Your home is where you heart is, and I was convinced that was by my family. "Were do I live?" I would ask. Most people would then give me the address of my apartment; it never ceased to amaze me that everyone knew where I lived. Everyone knew where the Hokage mansion was located. And my apartment. Had not the attention towards me been so negative I might had been elated. Famous. Awesome. But when I changed my question to "Where's my mother?" the answer would wary only in length and level of proper language, but always be the same in content. She lived in the red district. She was one of the worst whores with no consideration for life in any form. She'd sleep with anyone. I was a mistake and that's why I was chosen (for what I didn't know back then). My father was a poor, unsuccessful, ugly man that could only afford the ten dollar whore that my mother was.
Only the Third answered in a bland way, followed by him opening a door to a room were I could not follow him, ending the discussion. I don't know why I kept asking. Another argument supporting the common belief that I'm a moron. Which I sincerely hope I'm not.
But now that has changed, now I know where my home is. But I can't go home. When I step inside that door nobody will answer me as I call out. It's almost as if I'll never come home. With this, I'm still, in a way, the child of a ten dollar hooker. To small and insignificant to be loved. I fought so long for a country that has no intention of giving me what I most want. This knowledge punctures and rips my soul and the acid that had always been around me pushes its way in. I can feel something childish die as I watch Jiraya-sensei hang his head over the table, apologetically, while intensely watching me under his eyelashes. Years ago this information would have made me cry and these are obvious signs that he is looking for. But I do not cry in front of people anymore, I have a different way of showing how I feel now.
And so there's no way for him to see what I'm thinking. That's why I smile the way I've practiced (so much that I sometimes wake up at night after a nightmare smiling) and say "It's okay. I get it. I really do." And I chuckle merrily in a way that makes my lunges hurt. He buys it with a relieved expression (and somewhat disappointed) and I listen to everything that a life here entails. It's roughly the same as always. Only here nobody really dies. It's a circle of pain, healing and fighting again. Only some really extreme techniques will really absolutely kill you here. He said "Welcome to Heaven", but it feels like hell's pit to me. I really don't understand how they'd do this to me.
"Eeeeh, I don't really get it…"
In reality I get it perfectly. If nobody ever dies of course people feel like it would not do any harm to take revenge. I am surprised the world is not at chaos with people hurting each other left and right just for fun. But somehow I do not want Jiraya to know that I get politics much better than I used to. I feel ridiculously enough betrayed. Betrayed by him and everyone else that have apparently, somehow "replaced" me with someone. And yet I can understand that they could not have done it any other way. But I still want to keep my aces hidden, just in case. I can't trust him to put me before Konoha. And people tend to hurt me for things I might do, rather than things I have done.
"Heh, you're the same as always Naruto!" Jiraya exclaims drunkenly before chugging down another shot of alcohol. His appetite for the stuff has apparently become bigger since before. He now deems it a very good idea to carry it around in storage scrolls. My respect for him had diminished as I saw him use it. Before he could deliver bad news as professional as any ninja. Today he had to drink a full bottle before I got anything that one could refer to as a status report.
Everyone who has ever been to war in the whole world was put in the same place as their neighbors. It's a fitting way of punishing murders. Put them in a secluded place, give them weapons and their hate will do the rest. Persecution. Paranoia. Pain. Eternal torture. I'd drink too if that was my vice. But it isn't. And yet in a way I can appreciate the opportunity of being returned to my twenties, a fresh start. Suddenly Jiraya gets out of his chair and starts to speak almost business-like, while walking slowly, slowly in the direction of the couch.
"On a lighter note; Who's Hokage on the other side right now by the way?"
"The 7th Hokage's name is Tanaka Yuichi. He's a bit of an office rat, but in a way, he was born to take that seat. You'll understand when you meet him…"
I try in vain to ignore the burning feeling in the pit of my throat as I realize that he did not even contemplate that I am the 7th. Proving that he never really believed in me. He must have known the truth from the beginning. Monsters don't make it to the seat of heroes. The heroes slay the monsters. The monster never becomes the hero. Well, some can play the part for awhile but they're all discovered. I wonder if he knows that I was once trained to take the seat? Has anybody perhaps told him? Could someone have? My wild thoughts are disturbed as Jiraya speaks up again, disoriented.
"You know, I" he stops to turn and look at me while pointing regally in a drunken way towards himself as we lock eyes "think that you'll do just fine outside aaaaaaall this mess." He makes a grandiose gesture with his hands as he return to his trek towards the couch, the whispered, almost to low for even me to pick up, words floating into my ear "You would never put up with pretending like we do anyway, you're to honest." The last part was murmured under his breath as he disappears into the smooth, green couch. And how does changing my identity not constitute as lying?
After sitting an half an hour in silence staring at the wall over the couch were Jiraya is sleeping like the dead, a pale common-looking woman sticks her head through the doorway asking me to follow her. Usually I would never follow her this easily, I have never considered it a good plan to follow strangers anywhere, but I can not take another minute in that room with that man, so I follow.
And as I step into the dim corridor outside the room noticing the wooden décor and the multiple doors leading to rooms sporting signs like "The Blue Conference Room" I deduce that I must be in the building where the Hokages' offices are located or in a building close to it. By the time we have reached the stairs the stale air in the wide, looming corridor has made me somewhat tired so when she turns to hand me a bright, white folder I almost drop it as I am slower to grasp it than she was prepared to.
"This contains all the papers that you will need. Read the instructions until tomorrow. Fill out the forms and someone will visit you tomorrow at noon to pick them up. Good night." The frosty statements become even harder to ignore as she purses her mouth distastefully and without looking me in the eye, turns and starts walking away. And I stare, smoldering hot and teeth grinding the words I want to spit at her into dust, after her. Before I died I was not exactly a celebrated member of society. But I was still treated with the respect any normal person would receive. Here however, nobody seems to know what I have done for Konoha, putting me back on square one. It is a bitter pill to swallow. Or in my case, probably some other poison.
As I find the exit leading outside of the dark building and hit fresh air the stinging between my eyes freeze up preventing me from crying, a habit I have never really gotten rid of. As I twist my neck to look up at the building I have spent the last four hours in, it is confirmed that this building is a part of the large building complex the Hokages' offices are located in. Idly I wonder, as the last beams of sunlight disappear, if they have their offices in different parts of the complex and if anyone of them is still in there.
As I walk towards the apartment I have been assigned according to my 'little' folder, I can not help but see how alike this Konoha is to the other one. The same architecture and people are revealed in the warm streetlight of the urban street, which I am now leaving for the slightly grassier road of suburban Konoha. If I could not tell it before when I just arrived and got my first look at the city, I could certainly say so now; the city is huge. I have been walking for an hour now and I still have not reached the outskirts where my new residence is located. And I am sort of tired of walking, but I was warned by a very red and angry note to not let people know that I am a trained ninja.
So I keep walking. How boring. The only thing keeping me awake is the small tufts of grass in the road that I now keep stumbling over due to the scarce light, raining out of the windows of the dark apartment complexes lining the road, being turned off by sleepy villagers preparing for bed and sweet dreams. They are all so utterly safe inside their homely, strong walls, resting contently knowing there are people on duty protecting them with their lives. Which I am sure is not as horrible and extreme to them, as it is to the person putting said life on the line. They will be awake all night trying to make it seem more self-evident that they have a duty to do so. That they have no right to claim their life and the value of the attachments his or hers loved ones have to him as anything just as valuable as what the people they are protecting have. Better me than them, right?
As I step up on the gravel speckled park, I'm faced with a whiny swing shacking in the wind and a shining sliver slide over-shadowed by my new home, a huge apartment complex. I can not help but grin tightly and think I hope it looks better inside that this before beginning to close the gap between me and the apartment complex sporting balconies with mostly broken railings jutting out and dark windows, gleaming hungrily at me. It looks like somebody defeated a giant, grey spider by decapitating it and then remodeling its head into something habitable. A monster complex for the monster. It is almost poetic.
I can not help but to grin wryly as I realize that my apartment is the only one with a door on my floor. The top floor, the fifth floor. They better give me permission to use chakra again because scaling those stairs made me fear for my life. The rest of the apartments miss at least a handle and at the most the whole door, leaving me free to look into the dark, bottomless rooms as I please. The fourth floor under mine echoes lonely as a wailing child runs in the corridor under me, assuring me that I will not be living here alone. I try to twist the key in the lock only to realize that it requires a bit more magic to this lock than it appears.
So I press myself against the decayed, soft surface of the door, preparing myself to lift the door a bit, to easier twist the key, only to fall into the apartment with the old, rotten door under me as it yields to my weight. I stay down a bit breathing heavily, preventing myself from getting up and kicking something in anger, since that probably would break something else. I am pretty sure I can not afford a hole in the wall. Or with my luck, a new wall.
After awhile I stand up to survey the dark living room of the apartment with a kitchenette corner located to my immediate right. The colors and nature of the furniture are but silhouettes to me. After spending some time trying to get the lamp to work so that I can get a better look around, I give up and head for the first door on my left hoping it is the bedroom only to be disappointed as my foot hits the darkly hidden porcelain body of what is probably a toilet. While backing out I can not help but to feel my body protesting against this game. It wants its rest. Which I give it as I lie down on the couch, falling asleep with the scent of old, murky water and the grainy cloth of the pillow quietly dirtying my face as I try to dream about my new life.
AN: I'd just like to say my heartfelt "thank you"s to those who wrote me the reviews that I've always wished for. Thank you so much, it really makes me happy to know that someone out there appreciates my style to that extent. This chapter was in part dedicated to you , the next chapter will partly be in a 1st person narrative, but as you might have noticed it's not my stronger side so that'll probably be the last of it. So hang on.
I got this idea a year ago, but it was when Kakashi met his father by the fire with his father referring to a life after death that I decided to write this. This fanfic will be featuring as little OOC as possible since I think it disturbs the flow of the story having to build up characters at times, and mostly there's no way one can make those characters as real as the Real Characters. Once again, if there was some sentence that confused you in any way, give me a heads up in a review. I'd like to fix those as soon as possible.