Abandoned and Lost
Chapter Two: New Feelings and Emotions
XxXxX
And this is how it feels when I ignore the words you spoke to me
And this is who I am when, when I don't know myself anymore
And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away
I'm falling, falling faster
-Red (Breathe Into Me)
I won't forget, I cannot forget this
I won't forget, I'll never forget this
I won't forget, I'll never forget
You aren't the one that I thought you were
And so I learn to embrace this illusion
The line that separates, it starts to blur
-Red (Death of Me)
XxXxX
The first two weeks for Luffy had been rough. His whole world had come shattering down, breaking into millions of pieces and leaving nothing left but a reflection of an unfamiliar face. Seriously, he hadn't smiled once for fourteen days.
Three hundred and thirty six hours. Twenty thousand, one hundred and sixty minutes. One million, two hundred and nine thousand, six hundred seconds. All that time and not one fucking smile. And not one of those seconds went by without Luffy thinking of Ace and the cruel words he spoke before he left. Before he left his only brother to die in the burning town without even giving a shit. It really fucked Luffy up and everyone knew it. Makino had tried her absolute best to try and cheer the rubber boy up, showering him with free meat and milk every chance she had. Even Dadan, who usual tried to hide her concern, openly worried about the depressed child.
Luffy had changed. The words of his brother hit him like a fucking brick wall covered in poisoned spikes and dripping acid; tearing him apart without any mercy. Ace had meant those words, meant every single one. Yet Luffy just couldn't bring himself to fully believe that. Ace had nearly died last year protecting him which showed he cared. Sure, Luffy wore Ace out a lot and drove him up the wall, but Ace always cared. He stuck by Luffy through storms, blizzards, and fire. But he left so easily, like all the love he had shown was just a facade to fool everyone around him. Luffy shook his head, his mind throbbing in pain. Just thinking about it hurt like hell. Not only did it hurt his mind, it hurt his heart as well. Ace was his life, his family, his world. Who would he hunt with? Who would he run to when he was bored? Who would he run to when he wanted to tell a joke?
Who would he run to when he was scared and frightened? Who would he run to when he was crying and need to be comforted? Who would he run to now that Ace was gone? Who could he trust? Who?
No one, that's who. Ace chewed Luffy up and spit him out like a piece of gum. He had used him and left him to die in the world. "It'll be us against the world." Yeah right, more like just Luffy against the world. But Luffy wasn't completely alone. He still had Makino and Dadan and Gramps… sorta. Makino would take care of him, he was sure of it. But still, he wouldn't be able to smile, not yet. Not until his heart healed from the betrayal of his abandonment. Not until Ace was transformed into nothing but a distant memory fading away.
Luffy finally gave his first smile twelve weeks later. It may have only been a twitch of a smile but, nonetheless, it was still a smile.
Ace's first two weeks in slavery was just the beginning of his trip through hell. On his first day he had been sold for a staggering million berries, but not before Bluejam got his revenge on the small child. Ace had received a hell of a beating– and daresay, touching– from the man before he was shoved off to someone else. And much to Ace's horror, his new 'master' just so happened to have a rather sick mind and strong feelings for children under thirteen. By the time two weeks passed, Ace had been robbed of everything. His innocence was gone, his home and family had been ripped away, and his freedom had been sold. Exhausted from his living hell, he found himself lying on the cold, wet ground void of any feelings. Finding himself in neck and hand shackles, along with ankle cuffs, it was impossible for him to try and escape, though he already attempted this several times that ended in harsh beatings. Dry blood crusted on his dirty shirt and his shorts had several tears at the bottom due to him constantly crawling over sharp stones in his cage. He took in a breath but flinched in pain from his earlier beating. He had known slavery was brutal, but you never know just how brutal until you experience it first hand.
"Hope you're doing okay, Lu," he muttered miserably to the wall as his cell door opened. "I hope you're still smiling and laughing everyday like you always do." A tall muscular man grinned as he reached down and grabbed a fistful of Ace's hair, dragging him out of the cage. "I hope you're safe…"
"Shaddup!" The man dragging him slammed his foot into his Ace's stomach who let out a strangled gasp and harsh cough, making the abuser laugh in enjoyment as he continued to drag the boy up some stairs to put him back to work.
Twelve weeks. He couldn't believe he was even still alive. Or was he? At the moment he felt half-dead. The work itself was no problem, but the beatings and rapes were taking a serious toll on Ace's body. Even if he had inherited his father's amazing strength and had trained constantly for days on end, his body couldn't take much more abuse. He had the last two days off because his injuries had gotten infectious and rest was demanded if he wanted to live. If he didn't rest and have those injuries taken care of, he would most certainly die. And he couldn't allow that, not yet at least. He had to live, he had to find Luffy first. Just thinking of his brother's name seemed to give him strength. Luffy was his life and by the Gods did he miss him. He would have done anything at the moment just to see his brother again, that stupid grin of his that could light up a room no matter what the mood. Ace silently wished he could do that sometimes, to be able to walk into a room and instantly make the mood lighter in everyone. But he never could, and after this he doubted he would. Twelve weeks in this hell had started to change the eleven year old's personality. He grew more colder and slightly snarky. Sarcasm was also starting to seep into him thickly. Yeah, slavery really changes people, no doubt about that. Ace gave a quiet, dry chuckle. He'd survive this, he knew he would. For Luffy. He had to.
But the price of survival in slavery came at a heavy price.
XxXxX Nine Years Later XxXxX
Luffy was pissed. No, pissed wasn't even close to describing the anger he felt at the moment. The sight before him boiled his blood. Who the fuck… ate his meat? He let out a roar as he ran into the living room and spotted Zoro and Sanji munching on something edible. On closer inspection, Luffy noticed it was meat.
His meat.
"What the hell are you guys doing," he asked loudly, but the other two ignored him. Luffy's angered expression quickly turned into a sulk and he hunched over in the doorway. "That was my meat…" The blond male continued to watch the green-haired swordsman who was playing an app on his iPhone.
"Don't worry, Luffy. I'm making that meat and mellon dish you like for dinner." Luffy's eyes widened in delight and his mouth instantly began to water.
"Raw Ham Melon? Awesome!" Luffy seemed to do a small dance as Sanji leaned over the couch to peek over his friend's shoulder.
"I think you have to go left first, then right three times, then left again." Zoro shook his head.
"No, I think it's left, left, right, right, left, left, left." Sanji raised an eyebrow as the swordsman tried the code out and found it actually worked.
"Wow," he commented, his unlit cigarette hanging in his mouth. He shoved his hands in his pockets and he leaned on the furniture to get comfortable. "So what's in the drawer?" Zoro clicked on the item but before he could read it, Luffy let out an audible moan of boredom from the kitchen.
"Zoro, Sanji, I'm bored! There's nothing to do! When's Usopp gonna find another ship?" Zoro gave a sigh, turning off the app which left the cook in suspense. Dammit, he wanted to know what written in that drawer! It took them three days to figure out the damn code to unlock the damn thing!
"Luffy, we already went over this. Usopp's getting the ship in two days. Two days. Remember what Franky said, he needed time to do the last finishing touches to make sure everything runs smoothly." Luffy gave another pout and rested his forehead on the table when Usopp suddenly bursted through the front doors.
"Oi, guys! It's all done! We're ready to set sail!" Luffy jumped up with lightning speed and smashed his face against Usopp's.
"Seriously? We can leave now? Yes!" Him and the marksman started dancing in happiness. They had been stuck on this small island for nearly five days with nothing to do. There was nothing to explore, no adventures waiting. nothing. As Luffy and his seven nakama shipped off from the island, Luffy took in a deep breath of the ocean mist, feeling a wave of peace come over him. The ocean seemed to calm him down when he was agitated or frustrated. The new ship their shipwright had built was fucking awesome. Simple as that. Thousand Sunny it had been named and no one rejected it. After the hyper teen had explored every inch of the ship in excitement, he finally headed towards the captain's quarters, something he had asked Franky to build. Hyper or not, he still needed time alone every now and then to straighten out his thoughts. (Something he had started to do after a certain someone left him to die.) As he sat down in the seat at a desk, he absentmindedly opened one of the drawers and pulled out a wanted poster and newspaper article, placing it in front of him. Scanning the picture on the poster, he re-read the article beneath it.
"Portgas D. Ace, a rookie who supposedly came out of the blue, has now had his bounty raised for the third time after declining the position of Shichibukai. No longer apart of the Ace of Spades Pirates, he has officially joined the powerful Whitebeard Pirates and is now his Commander of the Second Division of the crew. Also known as Fire Fist, his logia powers make him a dangerous foe and should not be approached by other rookies. He's famous for his eat-and-runs and narcolepsy. Now wanted for 550,000,000 berries, he's considered one of the most dangerous pirates out there under the command of Edward Newgate. Have extreme caution around this foe, for he is considered extremely dangerous."
A flash of anger sparked in Luffy's eyes for a second before he let out a sigh, stuffing the items back into the drawers and resting his head in his hands. Up until half a year ago, he thought Ace died. It took his 'brother' so long to get famous, Luffy just simply thought his brother either settled down, or was ambushed or something and ended dead somewhere. Not that he cared or anything, it's just what he thought. Nine years and Ace never once tried to contact him. Not. Fucking. Once.
'Of course not,' Luffy spat in his mind. 'Ace never cared for me. Why would he write me? What would he say? "Hey Lu, guess what? I'm living the life so you can go fuck yourself for all I care. Go ahead, get yourself killed. You're not my problem anymore." Yeah, that sounds about right.' Luffy let out a quiet growl before punched his pillow to relieve some stress.
"Luffy, lunch is ready!" Hearing this, Luffy quickly put on a smile, though it didn't completely touch his eyes. He didn't want to worry his crew with his problems, so he hid his stress with smiles and laughs. He entered the giant kitchen to chow down with his crew, feeling some his stress fall away already. That's right, he didn't need Ace anymore. He has his crew now, and that's all he needed.
For all he cared, Ace could drop dead in his food somewhere.
Ace seemingly dropped dead in his food as he had a sudden narcoleptic fit. Marco simply continued to eat his breakfast, ignoring the fact that his friend probably now had scrambled eggs and bacon shoved his up nose. Next to him, Thatch happily ate his breakfast like he did every morning. As Ace woke up from his quick nap, he wondered how Thatch could be so damn happy this early in the morning. Usually, Ace didn't wake up for another three hours, seeing as it was five in the moment. But for the last few weeks, he had been getting up early and leaving the ship to search for his lost brother who he hadn't seen in nearly ten years. Wiping his face clean of any food, he got up to leave, giving a quick wave to Marco and Thatch and headed out onto the deck.
"Oyaji, I'm leaving again." His giant captain simply gave a nod.
"Good luck, Ace." Ace returned a nod and jumped down onto the Striker, his small fire boat only he, and possibly Marco, could sail. Igniting his feet, he took off into wide open ocean. His brother was out there somewhere with his friends sailing in the unknown with that amazing 300,000,000 berry bounty. "It'll be us against the world." He saddened a little as he thought of his brother. The image of Luffy on his knees crying all those years ago had haunted Ace until this very moment. He wondered if Luffy would even forgive him for abandoning him. Then again, even if Luffy didn't forgive him, he just wanted to know the teen was safe.
All he cared for was to make sure Luffy was alright. No matter what. Because Luffy always has been his world. Luffy was the reason Ace continued to live. So no matter what the cost, Luffy had to live. After all, Ace didn't deserve to live anyway. Not with the blood that ran through his veins.
XxXxX Several Days Later XxXxX
Saying Luffy was surprised wouldn't have even compared to what he was feeling. He was down right freaking the fuck out on the inside. And so was the person standing in front of him. In fact, the person standing in front of him was freaking out more than Luffy was on the inside. Ace's heart was pounding so hard he was sure it was gonna jump out of his chest and beat itself right off the deck and into the icy ocean where it would stay on the ocean floor for some time until some odd creature decided it would make a yummy treat and eat it in one gulp. Finally, he had finally found Luffy's ship with the help Marco who heard a rumor Luffy was in the neighborhood. So he jumped onto the deck and came face to face with his brother. Happiness and fear ran through his body as both continued to stare in shock.
'Luffy… my Luffy… has grown.' The thought nearly brought tears to his eyes. He had missed his brother growing up. He had missed his thirteenth birthday. He had missed his tenth birthday. He had missed most of his brother's life, and now here was, a tall, proud young man with nakama constantly surrounding him. A smile tugged at his lips.
"Luffy…"
"A-Ace…?" Luffy's crew stood in the background as the mysterious man continued to stare at their captain. They had no idea who he was until Zoro had informed them he was apart of the Whitebeard pirates. But what they didn't know is that the two were brothers and were currently undergoing major family issues.
Luffy seriously hadn't expected a moment like this, ever. He thought Ace left his life forever and he'd never see him again. But no, here he was in front of him at this very moment. He wasn't gonna lie, part of him was happy beyond belief, relieved to know that his brother still cared for him enough to check up on him. But his anger overtook that happiness. Ace had left him in the middle of burned down town to die and because of that, Luffy had severe trust issues for a while, along with a few patches of depression. He curled his fist and struck his brother without hesitation, something he wished he could have done nine years ago. Breathing hard, Luffy stood in place with curled fists. "You left me," he growled darkly. Ace continued to stare at the ground, not even bothering to stand up because he knew any moment now Luffy would probably jump with a barrage of punches.
"Lu, I'm–"
"Don't call me that!" Luffy snapped, his eyes dark with anger. "Don't ever call me that!" The logia user flinched slightly at his brother's tone, but he knew this would happen. The crew stared on, shocked to see how angry their captain was. They had never seen him this angry before and they knew an angry Luffy was not good at all. "You left me! You fucking left me there, Ace! Alone! To die! And you didn't even give a fuck!" By now, just as Ace figured, Luffy was on top of him throwing down powerful punches one after another. "I was alone because you left me! And you have the guts to come see me after all these years? I waited for you, Ace! I fucking waited! Even though you were dead to me, I still waited every day on that cliff for you to come back!" By now those tears of anger were rolling down Luffy's cheeks and Ace finally grabbed his fists to stop the oncoming attacks, pulling his brother into a tight hug.
"I know, Luffy, and I'm so sorry." Luffy tried his best to wriggle out his brother's embrace, but Ace held him tightly and his brother soon gave up the struggle and just knelt there to hear his brother's words. "I never wanted to leave you, Luffy. I swear on my life, for the past nine years I've been tying to get back to you. I know you're angry with me and I don't blame you, not for a second. I know you hate me, but I'm just so happy and relieved to see you're okay." And then Ace gave a small smile and single tear rolled down his cheek. It was a tear of happiness. "I'm so glad… you're safe." Luffy remained still and silent. "Every day I was away, I prayed to the Gods hoping you were alive and well, Luffy. Not a day passed by where I didn't think of you. And seeing you now, all grown up and healthy… It makes me so happy."
"…Why?" Luffy pulled away to look his brother in the eyes as he finally asked the question. "If you didn't want to leave, why did you?" The freckled male bit his lip and looked to the ground. He didn't want to tell Luffy the truth because if he did, Luffy would probably feel extremely guilty knowing his brother suffered years of slavery and torture for his freedom. And Ace didn't want Luffy to feel like that.
"I had to. I can't tell you why, but just know I had to." Unaware of it, Ace's voice had grown cold and emotionless, which instantly seemed to worry Luffy and he leaned away slightly.
"You've changed," Luffy whispered, mostly to himself. He could tell just by looking into Ace's eyes that the old brother he knew was under severe mental repair at the moment. Ace ignored the comment and stood up, looking to the ocean.
"If you can't forgive me, I understand. If you want me to leave right now, I will. Just tell me."
"I want you to stay," Luffy instantly replied. "I can't forgive you just yet and I'm still not gonna trust you, but I'd like you to stay around if you can. To talk." Ace gave a nod and a small warm smile, Luffy returning one in kind. Chopper took an awkward step forward and slightly cleared his throat.
"Um, Luffy…? Who is this?" Luffy blinked, completely forgetting about his crew who now had worried expressions.
"Huh? Oh, sorry guys. This is Ace, my brother." Ace gave a quick wave and a half-smirk as the crew stared open-mouthed at him and Luffy.
"Brother?"
XxXxX
*Puts down journal* Yes, I'm evil. Bite me. And yes, over-use of swear words is very much unlike me. XP But it's fun to write the word now. Dunno why~ Anyway, so far AceLu is winning by one vote so now's your chance to change it to a brotherly fic or not. (AceLu-3, Brotherly-2) Luffy overreacted a little, I know. But I warned you guys, ooc was in this.
I had such a weird dream the other night and for some reason i can't get it out of my mind. Some guy had kidnapped my and I was on the back of his Harley and he was driving on a path and all of a sudden it flew off a cliff and over a waterfall. I had let go early and he and the bike went flying and he ended up landing on a tree and broke his back. Me? I fell over two hundred feet into the water below and woke up in a hospital. And what got me was not only did I somehow survive, but I felt no pain whatsoever and I had a huge fucking gash, and I mean GASH, on my back. That gash hasn't left my mind at all. It was too weird. And then I made a friend who was an orphan and we became sisters. A sweet, touching dream, but scared the shit out of me when I was falling. And trust me, I don't scare easily from dreams. And the damn gash will not leave me mind. Is that a sign?
Anyway, sorry it took so long to update. The 18th was graduation day and it depressed the shit out of me cuz I didn't graduate (I dropped out and decided to take my GED) and we didn't have the money to buy a ticket to watch everyone walk the line. So once again, sorry! *bows* I'll be going to bed now. Thank you for the reviews and more would be much appreciated! Thank you! Have a good day! (Oh, and take my poll please! :3)