2 Seething

Opening the door, Vera stuck her head into the senator's office. "May I get you anything?"

Coriolanus looked up and forced a smile. "No. I'm good. Thank you."

Vera entered the office and stood before his desk. "I don't know about you, but visits from Ashur always leave me feeling gloomy."

A natural smile came to Coriolanus. "That pretty much sums it up." The young senator straightened in his chair. "Ex-boyfriend?"

"He wishes. He has been asking me out for years despite my constant rejections. Some boys you just can't train." Vera waggled her brow, causing Coriolanus's smile to grow. During the ensuing pause, she began gnawing her lip. "Did he mention how I was assigned to you?"

The young senator nodded. "Yes. He said the party assigned you to me since they think I need someone with experience."

"We experienced secretaries are a rare commodity. They must see tremendous potential in you."

"I suppose. He said that I can trust you, and he reassured me that you were not assigned to me for spying purposes."

"That is true. It's part of the unwritten secretarial code. We know that if we stick to the code, we will never…."

"Go down with the ship if I should screw up."

Vera shrugged. "If we didn't have this code, we'd suffer from the collateral damage of politics and there would be no political secretaries."

Coriolanus set his computer tablet on his desk. "I always wondered about the special connection between my former boss and his secretary. I didn't think it sexual, but the bond was significant."

"Even if you find me disagreeable and ask for a replacement, your secrets will always be safe with me if we should part ways."

"I don't see me replacing you. I'm fortunate to have your guidance, Vera."

"Like you, Senator, I'm here to serve." Vera studied Coriolanus face, witnessing how quickly it turned to a frown. "Why so down?"

With his eyes focused on his desktop, Snow shrugged.

"Don't let Ashur get to you. You of all people know the ugliness of politics."

"Oh, I don't know. I didn't think it would slap me in the face so fast. After I won the election, I kept asking myself, 'do I want to be the senator with good intentions—who are ineffective and get voted out the next term, or do I want to be influential and get things down by playing the game?'"

Well aware of a third type of politician, Vera crossed her arms. "Then there are those who feel it's their destiny to claw their way to the top."

Coriolanus looked up at Vera with somber eyes. "I'm not one of those."

A sly grin stretched across the wise secretary's face as the two studied each other. "Oh, lest I forget." Removing a key from her pocket, she passed it to the young senator.

"What's this?"

"A key to the office for the days when you arrive before me. Something tells me that you'll need it, Senator." Vera moved to the door. "Your next appointment should arrive shortly. I'll put a fresh pot on."

Knowing which kind of politician he wanted to be, Coriolanus wrapped his fingers around the key and settled back into his chair.

...

"You're home early. Already playing hooky after one week on the job?" Mrs. Snow laid her computer tablet down across her lap.

Coriolanus shut the apartment door. "I snuck out early for our dinner tonight."

"Dinner?"

Setting his briefcase down, Snow took off his winter coat and waited for his wife to remember the day.

"Oh! Happy birthday, darling. So, are we going to your favorite restaurant?"

"If you don't mind, I've been craving their food all day."

Apparently napping most of the afternoon, Cynthia yawned as she sat up and adjusted her bathrobe. "Should we hire a sitter?"

The young senator shook his head. "Let's not. Livia enjoys the restaurant as much as me."

Cynthia rose to her feet and stretched. "That's because of the candy she sneaks from the front counter."

"She has fun. That's what counts." Coriolanus began unbuttoning his shirt. "I'm going to shower."

"Okay. Livia should wake soon and then we can go. I'm going to check on my roses."

After his shower, Coriolanus was finishing his dressing when he found his wife by the large living room windows. Cynthia stood before her shelves of roses, each shelf lit by a suspended grow light. Diligently, she sprayed each rose with water. With the dim city lights in the background, the floral grow lights highlighted Cynthia's figure by forming a shadow through her loose bathrobe.

Coriolanus fastened his last shirt button and approached Cynthia by her roses. "How are your flowers doing?"

"Good. They should start budding next week. The new insecticide I used this winter is much better." Mrs. Snow shuddered. "Grrr, damn spider mites. You'd think science could permanently eradicate them. They make my skin crawl."

"Well, you must do something right. I haven't seen any for the past couple years."

Rotating her shoulders as if covered with spiders, Cynthia shuddered again. "Rinsing them thoroughly in the bathtub every weekend is paramount. Just thinking of the mites makes my skin crawl. Coriolanus, can you scratch my back?" Cynthia let her bathrobe slip off her shoulders and held it around her waist to expose her nightshirt.

"Sure." He began scratching across her shoulders, producing instant moans of pleasure from his wife.

She let the robe slip until it dangled from one hand and tossed it onto a nearby chair. "Scratch harder. Scratch under my shirt." Cynthia lifted her shirt over her bra to expose her back.

With long strokes, Coriolanus began scratching the whole of her back to hear her moan in delight. When her body backed into him by accident, he felt his face flush. He focused on his scratching and tried to ignore his feelings. When she bumped into him a second time, his body awoke from its long sleep.

He slid his arms around her and pulled her close, planting a soft kiss on her neck.

"No, Coriolanus. Not here."

The young man's heart thumped with excitement. He placed another soft kiss on her neck. "Come back to my room. Please."

"No. Livia will wake soon."

He lowered his voice to a whisper. "If you're not interested, I'll be quick about it. It's been so long that it won't take me long."

"No."

"I need this." He kissed her neck with more passion.

From Cynthia's bedroom came a gentle voice. "Mommy?"

Coriolanus inflamed emotions balled up into an intense frustration, creating a deep guttural groan. Hiding his disappointment, he relaxed his loving embrace and stepped back from his wife with a relenting sigh.

Pulling her shirt down, Cynthia headed for her bedroom. "See. It will have to be later. I'll get us ready for dinner."

As his family prepared to go out, the young man left alone in the living room flopped down into a nearby chair and sighed. Struggling with his growing nonfulfillment, he stared at the roses with contempt. If only I received a fraction of attention that she gives those damn roses, he thought.

He glanced around the apartment and surveyed the filth. He had gotten so use to the mess that he ignored it most of the time. Spotting the piled up dirty dishes, he assumed that the dishwasher was also full of unwashed dishes. I bet she forgot to turn it on again. What does she do all day? He sighed and resolved to clean up the apartment the best he could when they got back from dinner.

Within a few short minutes, the joy of his life came running into the living room and into his arms. "Daddy!"

This brought a huge smile to Coriolanus's face as he picked up Livia and set her on his lap. "Hi, princess. Have a good nap?"

"Uh-hu."

"Are you ready for dinner? We're going to our favorite place."

"Rice!"

"Yes. The place with the orange rice you like." Coriolanus combed Livia's long blonde hair behind her ear. "There's that pretty smile."

Giggling, Livia scrunched her shoulders when her father began tickling her neck. "Daddy, silly."

Wrapping her snuggly in his arms, he felt his heart swell from the peace he found in his daughter's presence.

The first year of his Livia's life was difficult for the senator. The child suffered from acute colic, and the torment wore on Coriolanus and Cynthia—as it does for all parents of colic babies, but the proud father helped his wife weather the storm the best he could and never faltered to look optimistically forward past the colic. His child's suffering solidified his own need to be with her, giving him the need see her smile every day.

Despite her faults, Cynthia bore the brunt of the colic in a most self-sacrificing manner—some would say self-destructive. Livia's colic had turned her into a tiger mom—not allowing anyone to intervene—not even Coriolanus. Nevertheless, all the sleepless nights and crying had changed Cynthia, for she was no longer the woman Coriolanus had married.

For the past couple years, post-colic, Coriolanus wondered if the changes in his wife were there prior, below the surface, or had they manifested anew. However, only Cynthia knew the answer, and sadly, she had no realization in what others clearly saw.

In the restaurant waiting area, Cynthia crossed her arms, perturbed that she had to wait for a table. "Don't they have a table for VIPs?"

"No, dear." Bouncing Livia on his knee, he focused on his daughter's smile.

"Well, do they realize that they have a senator waiting? If I have to wait much longer, I'm going to need one of my pills. I should talk to the manager."

"It's not necessary; I think we're next." Coriolanus repositioned Livia on his leg. "Besides, I don't want special treatment."

"Daddy, I want ice cream."

With a playful smile, Coriolanus gasped. "You know what? They're going to give me a birthday ice cream tonight. Will you help me eat it?"

"Yes, daddy."

"And later if I'm lucky, your mother is going to give me a different kind of birthday treat."

Cynthia frowned at the implications.

When Livia squirmed out of her father's grip to explore the waiting area, Mrs. Snow leaned close to her husband. "You're forcing me to say this, but I don't like having sex with you. I'm sorry."

Coriolanus said nothing as he sat frozen in shock. When Livia returned to his arms, he put on a brave face for her in spite the pain. Replaying his wife's words in his head, he just could not comprehend what just had happened.

The young senator did not speak during dinner; he did not speak during the trip home. That evening as his wife showered—after taking her numerous meds, the man sat in his chair in the dimly lit living room, numbed to the world.

With his wife still in the shower, Livia approached him with bunched up blankets in her arms.

Coriolanus scooped up his daughter into his arms. "Hey, princess. Are you ready for bed?"

Livia nodded.

Using one of her blankets, he covered her as she snuggled tight against his chest. "Are you going to sleep on daddy tonight?"

"Ah-hu."

"Okay." Coriolanus smiled. "You know; you've never ever slept in daddy's arms before; your mother wouldn't allow it. As a baby, she held onto you so tight, and was so protective, that I never got a chance to hold you. During your second year, she took you to grandma's when I had to campaign for my job. I barely got to see you. Do you remember?"

Livia lay motionless as she fought to keep her eyes open.

"That was the longest year of daddy's life. Please don't leave me like that ever again. Daddy needs you now more than ever." Pausing, Coriolanus's breathing staggered. "I guess daddy just has to accept some painful things that are out of his control so that he can continue to be with you, to be able to hold you."

When he heard his daughter's breathing deepen through her tiny mouth, he looked down to find her eyes closed as his own eyes welled with joy. This moment was the first time his daughter had ever slept in his arms, and the joy from this simple act soothed his scorned soul.

Soon after, wrapped in her thick bathrobe, Cynthia stumbled into the living room, intoxicated by her nightly meds. She reached for Livia.

Snow shook his head.

"It's time we go to sleep."

Coriolanus lowered his voice to a whisper. "Let her sleep in my arms for a while. I'll put her to bed."

"No, Coriolanus. I have to put her in bed a certain way or else she won't sleep through the night. We always go to bed together. Give her to me."

Powerless, he had to let go since any resistance would only disturb his daughter.

Cynthia straightened with Livia snug in her arms. "Time for bed, deary." Before disappearing into her bedroom, Mrs. Snow paused at the door. "Happy birthday, darling. See you in the morning."

The broken man remained silent as he continued sitting in the shadows of his living room. After a while, he moved to the guest room, into his bed. He wanted to cry, but his eyes remained dry as they stared at the ceiling. Laying alone in the dark, mortally wounded, he began seething.

...

Entering his office's reception from the Capitol building hallway, Coriolanus recognized the joyous laughter of his daughter emanating from his office. Stepping into the room, he found his wife sitting behind his desk with Livia bouncing on Vera's knee in the guest chair.

Cynthia pointed at her husband. "Livia, there's daddy."

"Daddy!" Sliding off Vera's knee, Livia ran into her father's arms.

"How's my princess?"

"Good."

Holding onto the smile his daughter had unexpectedly bestowed him, he glanced at his wife. "What brings you two by?"

"I took Livia in for her checkup and decided to stop by on the way home."

"Oh. I was out to lunch. Do you still want to get something to eat?"

Rising to her feet, Mrs. Snow grabbed her purse. "Not necessary. We grabbed something before we arrived."

Vera rose to her feet. "Livia and I had a wonderful time. She's such a beautiful child, Senator. You must be proud."

"Thank you, Vera." Snow tickled Livia's neck. "I'm glad that you visited me so I could get my tickles in early today."

"Stop it, daddy."

Vera came from around from behind the senator's desk and took Livia in her arms. "We should be going. By the time we get home, it will be time for our naps."

The young senator followed his family into reception. "If I had known, I would have rescheduled lunch."

"Don't worry, Coriolanus. I came to see if they upgraded your office."

"What upgrade?"

"I would have thought that they'd have the decency to remodel your office. I can still smell the prior senator's cheap aftershave."

Taking her seat at her desk, Vera forced a smile. "I tried explaining to your wife that the office budget isn't big enough to make unnecessary changes."

"Vera is right; besides, I like the atmosphere of this office. I have a lot of fond memories from being the prior senator's aide."

Cynthia frowned. "And when do you get your own aide, Coriolanus?"

"I have to find more contributors since the Capitol only pays for the basics. The campaign wiped out my budget."

"Don't you automatically inherit you predecessor's connections."

Snow shook his head. "It doesn't work that way."

"Pity." Mrs. Snow set Livia down and gripped the child's hand. "Say goodbye to daddy."

"Bye, daddy."

Bending over, Coriolanus kissed his daughter on the forehead. "See you soon, sweetie."

With his family's departure, Snow receded to his office and flopped into his chair.

Vera entered and stood before his desk. "Your next appointment had to reschedule, so you have a light afternoon."

"Ah, good. Thank you, Vera." The senator sniffed the air. "Do you smell any aftershave?"

"Just a very faint smell. It will probably dissipate in a couple weeks, Senator." Gnawing her lip, the secretary crossed her arms. "The press must really like you."

Coriolanus brow furled. "What do you mean?"

"Had they focused on your wife, she could have sabotaged your campaign single handedly."

Smiling, Coriolanus clasped his hands together as he leaned back in his chair. "True. Thankfully she preferred to stay home and watch the baby."

"Does she ever say anything positive?"

Snow chuckled. "No. When she does, I try to write them down so that I won't forget."

With an agreeing nod, Vera turned to leave.

"She was right about one thing."

Vera stopped under the doorframe. "In regard to what?"

"I need to start making connections so that I can bring in a little extra revenue."

"Don't rush, Senator. You have time. Choosing the wrong connections could have a detrimental effect."

Coriolanus nodded. "I know." His face became somber as his mind drifted, but not of work.

Sensing a torment in her boss, Vera studied the senator as he began to stare off into the void. The secretary had noticed a change in the man for the past week but still had not determined the cause. She cleared her throat. "Can I get you anything, Senator?"

Briefly, he glanced at his secretary before his sorrowful eyes flitted away. "I'm good. Thank you, Vera."

...

As the three middle-aged women exited Snow's office, Vera rose from her chair to bear the brunt of their angry stares as they departed. As soon as the door had closed, Vera stormed into Snow's office. "Alright, out with it."

Coriolanus did not bother to look up. "Out with what?"

"The bug that crawled up your ass."

The young senator glanced up to see Vera sitting in the guest chair. He gave no response to her quip.

"The three women from Family Planning were on the verge of tears when they left."

"I can't help everyone."

Vera crossed her legs. "I heard you raise your voice."

"Some people have to take responsibility for their actions. They can't expect the Capitol to pay for other's mistakes."

"This is not like you; it's like you've been possessed by a demon."

"Well." Coriolanus fell back into his chair. "Life isn't fair. I can't help everyone."

Frustrated at how the senator would not make eye contact, Vera's face reddened. "You've clearly been upset all week. It's getting worse with each passing day."

Coriolanus stared at his desk.

"What ever happened, you can tell me. You know you can tell me anything."

The troubled man did not respond.

Vera crossed her arms. "I'm not moving until you tell me." Wanting to smack her boss upside the head, she began to grit her teeth. "Do you want to be a one term senator?"

"I won't be having anymore children." The young senator's eyes kept their focus on his desk.

"Is there something medically wrong?"

"No."

Relaxing into her chair, Vera pressed on. "Was this something your wife decided?"

"Sort of."

"Then what, Senator?"

Swallowing hard, Coriolanus pushed the words out. "She doesn't enjoy sex."

Turning her head, Vera exhaled long and hard. Inhaling deeply, she rose from her chair. "I'll be right back."

Embarrassed by his confession, Coriolanus watched Vera pace about reception from his desk as she spoke on her smartphone. Unable to hear the conversation, he began to fidget and worried about the information she may be sharing with others.

After a few minutes, Vera returned before the young senator's desk and held out a business card. "Here."

Coriolanus took the card to see a phone number written on the back. Flipping the card over, he discovered this to be one of his business cards. "What's this?"

"The Grand Hotel. Seven o-clock."

Coriolanus felt his face blush. "I don't think it would be appropriate if we—"

"Not me you tool. You're not my type."

"I don't understand."

"I have a special friend who will assist you through this difficult time. It's normally her night off, but she has agreed to do me a favor." Vera set a thin fold of large denominational cash on the senator's desk.

"Um." Coriolanus sat up. "Are you insane? I don't do this sort of thing."

Vera sneered. "You're a man aren't you?"

Snow stared at the money.

"You don't have to do anything. If you want, you can just go and talk. She has helped other politicians; she is very professional and discrete. If there is anyone in this world who truly understands the body's hunger, it's my friend. Perhaps she can help you find a solution with your wife; perhaps she can be your solution, but either way, you need to get rid of your demon. I'm not going to have you strutting around this office like a sad tom cat in heat."

Looking away, the embarrassed senator sat back into his chair. "I can't."

"Then you can find yourself a new secretary. I'm not going to watch you self destruct."

Coriolanus looked up at Vera to see her sincerity.

Vera crossed her arms. "At least, talk to her. For me?"

Sick of the seething anger welling inside him, Coriolanus rotated the card in his hand and gave a slight nod. "Okay, I'll go talk to this woman."

"Good. I've also scheduled you dinner at the steak restaurant near the hotel. You will have an hour to eat and relax. Be in the hotel lobby by seven and call at exactly the top of the hour, not five minutes early, not five minutes late. She will give you the room number when you call. Do what she tells you, and you'll be okay. I'll call your wife to tell her that you're at a meeting and that you will be home late."

Snow picked up the money. "Where did this come from?"

"Office expenses." Vera shrugged. "She's cheaper than a licensed psychiatrist, and more effective."

"Can we afford this?"

"Let me worry about office finances. You worry about your mental health."

Coriolanus smiled. "Thank you, Vera."

"My pleasure, Senator." The secretary turned for her desk.

"Vera?"

The secretary paused at the door. "Yes, Senator?"

"If you don't mind me asking, what is your type?"

Vera smiled. "The Apolitical. You lot are all insane."