AN: Hey guys, happy AkuRoku day! :) Theme 81: Pen and Papers ready to read.
Characters belong to their rightful owners, being Square Enix for Axel and Roxas and I stole David Rossi from Criminal minds... couldn't resist.
Take care!
Hello,
Seeing as I've never done anything like this before, I'll just start with... whatever, my name I guess. I'm Roxas, and I'm 18 years old. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, or who I'm writing this to. I know, I know, my therapist said it would help me with my social skills and that kind of bullshit. Anyhow, writing to a stranger would be easier, he said, and then he suggested a prisoner, as neither of us has anything to lose and that somehow is supposed to be easier. Or something along those lines.
Well, this is my fifteenth letter that I've tried to write so far, and I decided I don't want to give it more than fifteen tries. So this will have to do, I think. In all honesty, I don't see how this is going to improve anything as this requires about as many social skills as talking to a street light. Ah well, it's not as if I expect a reply from anyone, but you know, therapist's will is the law, so I wrote this letter and hopefully made his day.
Greetings, Roxas
Dear Roxas,
I can't say I've ever done anything like this either, but apparently my lawyer and coaches thought it would be good for the whole getting back into society thing. Anyhow, I'll introduce myself. My name is Axel, and I'm 23 years old. And, obviously, I'm in prison. For what reason, I might tell you some day. I'd say fifteen tries is a lot, maybe a tad obsessive? It's not as if first impression's going to make much of a difference here. So what are you in therapy for? OCD? Depression? … what else has to do with social skills that need improvement? I'm sorry... I'm not being very nice. Not one of my qualities, you see. Blame the psychopath in me, or whatever else you might find appropriate to blame. I'd say this requires a bit more social skills than talking to a street light, seeing as we might hurt some feelings here and there or maybe come across as offensive. Do know that that's not my intention, and like you said yourself, we've got nothing to lose.
With kind regards,
Axel.
Hello Axel,
I'll be honest with you, I'm surprised I got a reply. But what's with the accusations!? You're right, you're not being very nice to me. And like you might tell me some day what you're in prison for, I might tell you what I'm in therapy for. Keep up the attitude and you won't ever find out.
Roxas.
Dear Roxas,
Sorry for the attitude and the accusations. I mean it, I'm sorry. You see, I wasn't going to send you that letter, but you don't get a lot of paper in prison these days. So I had to make do with that one piece of paper, and I couldn't exactly just make everything that was offensive blurry, as that would still be readable, knowing my luck. Anyhow, I'm glad you didn't blame it on the psychopath or any other silly things. Because, I'll be honest, I'm not a nice person. Never have been. Was the big bad bully in school, horrible grades, set fire to anything in chemistry and that kind of thing... yeah, I got kicked out of three different secondary schools for that... though at the last one threatening one of the teachers might have something to do with that as well... hm... never gave that much thought. So, this being part of my whole reintegration thing, my lawyer and coaches and whoever else thinks they've got a say in this, thought it would be a good idea to keep this up. So I prepared some questions for you:
1. You said you're 18, that means you're not in secondary school anymore, I was wondering what you're doing on a daily basis?
2. What's your living situation?
3. What hobbies do you have?
Kind regards,
Axel.
Axel,
1. None of your business.
2. None of your business.
3. None of your business.
Go find another pen pal.
Roxas.
Dear Roxas,
I was delighted to find another letter of yours had made it's way to my cell. Then after reading it, which I might add, didn't take very long, I have to say you hurt my feelings. You see, I didn't mean anything bad with it, I just wanted to get to know you, to develop your social skills, you know? But fine, I'll go first if that makes you more comfortable.
1. I am obviously an inmate, so I don't do much on a daily basis. Generally I try to stay out of trouble and go to my work (laundry... oh joys) and spend my time working out and trying to quit smoking.
2. I live in a small cell, together with some bad ass Italian guy named Rossi. That's his surname, mind you, but nobody around here knows his first name. He's not too bad, really. He's nice enough and just leaves me alone for the most part.
3. Hobbies... Well I set things alight, as I'm a slight pyromaniac. But yeah, that gets me in trouble often. In here I'm trying to quit smoking, because I can't really afford it in here... anything is incredibly expensive in prison, I can tell you that much. Other than that, I enjoyed watching movies back home and playing video games.
You take care,
Axel.
Axel,
1. Apparently I'm too distressed/depressed/emotionally disturbed/other fancy names to hold any kind of job or go to school right now.
2. I live together with my parents and younger brother. I have my own room, which is bright and happy-go-lucky, thanks to my brother. He gave my parents the idiotic idea that brightening up my room would brighten up me. So yeah, the walls are a headache causing white, which reminds me a lot of a hospital and nothing in there reminds me of me. It's not my room anymore, after they changed it. And I don't mean just the wall color, oh no. everything's changed, my bed, my desk, even my bookshelf is new. Everything. New. Nothing that is mine, or reminds me of happier times or anything like that.
3. I love reading and being outside. Other than that... I wouldn't really know.
So I have some questions for you:
1. How can nobody know Rossi's first name? That's ridiculous.
2. Why don't you just stop smoking? It's disgusting and it causes too many nasty things.
3. Set things alight... interesting. So what kind of movies do you like?
4. What's your taste in music?
5. What's your favorite food?
Roxas.
Dear Roxas,
I'll reply to your answers first. I'm sorry to hear you're … um... I'll call it unstable for now? to hold a job or go to school now. That must be distressing. And that room sounds quite like mine, minus the graffiti and the cell mate, that is. Nothing in here is mine or reminds me of happier times either. I miss being outside, I guess you don't really appreciate what you've got until it's gone. So, you're a reader? What do you like to read? And I'll answers your questions:
1. I asked him, and he's willing to tell you, but only if I hand this letter to him and he gets to send it to you. So yeah, you'll find out. Oh and you're not allowed to tell me.
2. Do you have any clue how hard it is to kick habits?
3. Very interesting. And very pretty. What movies do I like... good question, I guess I don't really remember much of it, as it's been quite some time since I last saw one.
4. The same goes for music, but I remember liking punk and rock, that kind of thing.
5. Pizza. By far. I miss pizza...
So I'll ask you the same questions I guess.
Take care, Roxie,
Axel.
ps. This is Rossi. My first name is David. Don't tell Axel or I'll send my people after you and your death will be slow and painful.
Hello Axel,
… your cell mate is creepy. Very creepy. But fine, I won't tell you what Rossi's first name is. Wouldn't want his people to come after me and kill me slowly and painfully... I'd tell you if it was quick and painless, though. But I'm not supposed to think stuff like that, seeing as I'm in therapy and supposed to get better and everything. Totally working out, as you can see. I'm writing a psychopath letters and basically asking his cell mate to send his guys after me to kill me... wow, I'm beginning to think I'm the psychopath here. As for your questions, I don't watch a lot of movies. Not if I have a pick in it anyway. Sorry to tell you that I am forced to watch a movie after a three course dinner and fancy treats and stuff like that on Saturdays. So it's fairly safe to say that I don't enjoy watching movies. Or fancy dinners. Pizza sounds fantastic, I've never had any, though. But being the firstborn in my rich family I am supposed to be the big brother to my little brother and live up to my parents' expectations. Safe to say that I'm failing, seeing as I'm in therapy, dropped of secondary school and am the biggest fuck up in the world. Not to mention that I'm emptying my thoughts in a letter to a complete stranger, who is in prison.
Sorry for all this crap, I'm going to stop writing before I tell you even more.
Roxas.
Ps. Don't call me Roxie!
Dear Roxas,
I'm sorry for calling you Roxie, though I think it sounds catchy. I'm afraid I don't get why you want to die, though. You're only 18 years old, you've got your whole life ahead of you. And you can trust me on that one. By the time I was 18, I'd been in juvenile detention centers more often than I care to count. After I turned 18... well, I ended up where I am now. How? I might tell you when I feel like it. I'm serious though, if you stay on the right path (the one where you don't commit crimes and do illegal stuff), you've got your whole life in front of you and it can be as amazing as you make it! So are you being honest to your therapist? I mean, yeah, therapy is supposed to work and make things better for people, but it doesn't work if the person in therapy isn't motivated to change things or isn't being honest with their therapist... I'm serious, Roxas, you sound like a great kid and even though our letters haven't been too informative or personal or anything, I'm growing fond of you. And I am sure there are way bigger fuck ups in this prison (me, for starters) than you think you are. Therapy isn't something to be embarrassed about, so many people have a breaking point where they need some outside help. In here, people turn to religion, out there, people turn to therapists and perhaps religion and other things, but mainly to therapists. You're seeking help, so that's not failing, that's trying to make things better. Don't give up, Rox, your letters really make my day.
Take care,
Axel.
Dear Axel,
Thanks for your comforting words. I have to say that I agree with you, your letters make my days and I'm really starting to like you. I know that's weird, as we've never met and that kind of thing, but you seem to understand me. By the way, I like Rox better than Roxie, but still prefer Roxas. I admit that I do wonder what it is you're in prison for, and what it is you got into trouble for so often as a kid. I guess there are many people who seek help in the form of therapy, as my school counselor seemed utterly bored with another depressed kid with too many issues. That's what's wrong with me, I'm depressed and as you might have noticed in my last letter, have suicidal tendencies. And, obviously as that's the point of these letters, I have next to no social skills. According to my therapist it's helping, by the way. He doesn't get to read the letters we write, but apparently I'm showing improvement. So I wanted to thank you. So, um... thanks?
Roxas.
Dear Roxas,
Don't think I didn't see that 'Dear Axel' as a start of your letter! Really made me smile, I'm glad your starting to like me. I guess it is slightly weird, but seeing as so many people connect through the internet these days, I'd say this isn't that different, just a little more old fashion? I got in trouble with loads of things as a kid, and did some really nasty thing to end up where I am now. But, like I said, I'm getting ready to reintegrate into society. My court date was brought forward and, having a great lawyer, I am about to be released. The thirteenth of August, to be precise. So yeah, seeing as I have your address, I thought maybe we could continue writing letters after I get out? Like I said, I really enjoy your letters. You're welcome, I'm glad to be of help.
Take care,
Axel.
Dear Axel,
I would like to continue our letters, they're really helping me. So much that I dare say that you're of more help than my therapy sessions. I did take up your advice by the way, I came clean to my therapist and told him the truth. The funny thing is, he knew I hadn't been honest with him. Anyhow, I was wondering, what's the first thing you're going to do when you get out?
Roxas.
Dear Roxas,
I'm glad to be of help. To be honest with you, they're helping me as well. With the loneliness, you know? I mean, since I've been in prison, none of my family or friends have visited, or called or written me. I guess they didn't want to be associated with an inmate. To be fair, I can't say I miss them, or blame them. I'm not the person people want to hang out with. I'm not mister nice guy, not to mention that I've got quite the reputation. Even though prisons are as crowded as ever, people do get lonely in here. Not the people who join gangs, but I've steered clear of those, and I'm telling you, life gets lonely in here. The first thing I'm going to do when I get out is probably get my ass to a decent Italian and get some pizza. That's the thing I've been missing the most, aside from decent company; pizza. Though the wisest thing to do first is assure I've got a place to stay, I guess. As you might imagine, inmates aren't very popular to rent or sell houses to, nor very wanted in neighborhoods. Either way, after I get a place to stay I'll send you a letter with the address and that kind of stuff, so we can keep up the letters.
So how have you been lately?
Take care,
Axel.
Dear Axel,
I'm glad to be of help to you as well. I guess I never realized how lonely people can get, both inside and outside prison. I'm not in prison, but I'm lonely as fuck. When we were younger, my baby brother and I really got along, but once our parents sent us off to different schools, things were never the same again. And with losing him, I lost my only friend. I guess I gained a new one with you. I've been alright, as far as alright goes in my situation. Or 'state' as my family calls it. How have you been? I guess it takes time to adjust to the whole reintegration program and preparing to go out there again. I can imagine it being a scary experience...
Roxas.
Dear Roxas,
This is my last letter from prison, seeing as I get out the day after tomorrow. Please don't bother sending another letter up here, as I won't get it. Thanks for calling me your friend, it's an honour. Though I doubt your family would approve of this friendship... I mean the way you made them sound, I don't think they'd be too happy with you talking to inmates and that kind of thing.
Keep it up kiddo, you're doing great. I'll send you another letter ASAP.
Take care,
Axel.
Dear Roxas,
Sorry, ASAP turned out to be quite a while. I finally found a place, it's small, tiny compared to what I was used to before prison, but ginormous compared to my cell. Anyhow, it's got a tiny bedroom (seriously, my bed doesn't even really fit in there!) and a small living room/kitchen combination, and the tiniest bathroom you've ever seen. I had quite some money stacked away somewhere and that really helped out with the whole getting a house and some furniture thing. Anyhow, I'm settled in for now, being the good ex-prisoner and calling my coaches every day and just behaving well. I really need to get my hands on a job, though. I mean this money will keep me off the streets for a short while, but not for very long. Anyhow, sorry to dump all this on you. How have you been? I hope you're okay, I really miss your letters!
Take care,
Axel.
Dear Axel,
Finally! I was getting really, really worried about you. I'm glad to hear you're alright, though I'm a little dubious about the whole stacked away money... anyhow, your place sounds good! Better than this gigantic house filled with bullshit and other crap. Really, I'd much rather live in a house that can barely contain any furniture than in a house that has empty rooms because of a lack of use for them. I hope you get a job soon, what kind of thing are you looking for? Maybe I could keep an eye out for you. I'm alright, I really missed your letters and kept rereading the old ones, to be honest. It keeps me occupied, you see. Yeah, I wasn't doing too great in the absence of your letters. Depression hit, and it hit hard. To be brutally honest with you, I got really close to killing myself, but my brother found me in time. I can't wait to get out of here, but my family's not about to let their oldest son bugger off in the current 'state' I'm in. I just wish I could get out of here! They think they're helping me, but all they're doing is making everything worse for everyone. I look at my baby brother and just hope he'll get out of here before they do these horrible things to him as well.
Sorry, I'm rambling again.
Take care, Axel.
Roxas.
Dear Roxas,
Sorry I worried you, that was never my intention. I guess having too much furniture is better than having empty rooms... As for the job, anything will do. And I mean anything. I'm glad to hear you're alright, but this last letter kinda scared me. Just let me know if there's anything I can do for you, okay? Don't worry about rambling, I'll gladly read it and if it helps you to let your thoughts out on paper, that's fine. I just hope-
"that... what the hell?!" Axel put down the pen he was holding and got up off the couch. Why on earth would anyone ring his door bell? His, of all people? He grudgingly made his way to the front door, closing the door to his bedroom on the way there. After opening the door, he was faced with an unfamiliar face.
"What do you want?" Axel asked, in a none too friendly voice. He was not in the mood to be around people. He was writing Roxas a letter, and the kid really seemed to need him, so that's all he wanted to do right now. Be there for the kid.
"Um... are you Axel?" the blond haired, blue eyed kid asked. What the... this situation just kept getting stranger and stranger, didn't it?
"What you need him for, kiddo?" he was so not in the mood to deal with anyone, so he wished the kid would just bugger off and leave him alone already!
"I'm Roxas... I've been writing Axel letters for quite some time now and he's the only one I could think of that I could go to." This was Roxas?! Of course he didn't recognize him, he'd never seen a picture of the kid, or ever seen him in real life, not even a description in the letters!
"Roxas? Oh my god, sorry that I was so rude, I didn't know it was you! What are you showing up at my door for, Rox?" It was only then that Axel noticed the trembling hands, clutching a big bag and the bloodshot eyes. And that was leaving out the most striking thing about the not so strange stranger; the tears streaming down his face, the slightly trembling lower lip.
"I... I couldn't take it anymore at home. My parents... we had a big fight, they basically disowned me... I grabbed the most important stuff I have and the money I had saved over the years and as I memorized your address, this was the only place I could think of." That was a lot to take in. Disowned?! Did that still happen nowadays? Axel supposed it did, seeing as that's basically what his family had done to him after he'd been sent to prison.
"Sorry, my manners are awful, come on in kid, can I get you anything? I'm afraid I don't have much to offer..." Axel slowly and carefully reached out and took the bag from Roxas' hands, noticing the lack of weight. He then opened the door a little further, allowing Roxas to come into the hallway. "Straight ahead is the living room, sit down anywhere you like... not that there's much choice. Do you want anything to drink?" Roxas slowly headed down the hallway, fidgeting with his sleeves and obviously uncomfortable and distracted.
"Just a glass of water, thanks." Axel walked past the couch to the tiny kitchen to get a glass of water for Rox and his forgotten coffee from earlier and sat down next to the kid on the couch.
"So, tell me what have I missed since your last letter?"
After a heart breaking update on the recent events, Axel went into the kitchen to fix them some dinner, only to find Roxas fast asleep on the couch on his return, looking even younger than earlier. Axel sat down next to him and carefully wiped a lost strand of hair away from Roxas' face. "It's nice to finally know the face behind the many words on paper," he whispered, before leaning back against the couch and closing his eyes himself. He wouldn't have to worry about the kid anymore, he was safely with him now and even though he wasn't the best company, he was sure they would be able to help each other out and they'd be alright.