Author's note: Due to the amount of positive feedback and requests for continuation, I have decided that I would in fact continue the drugged-out adventures of Teresa Lisbon and Grace Van Pelt. Please note that this takes place in a mythical time, and therefore will allude to events that have not occurred in the series, as well as ignoring events that are occurring (For instance, Rig's girlfriend Sarah does not exist). Also, it is a shameless Jane/Lisbon and Van Pelt/Rigsby story, although there may not be any consolidating of relationships by the end. I hope you enjoy, and please keep in mind that this is not to be taken seriously.

AND SO WE BEGIN...

The sun was shining and the grass was green. Bluebirds were singing and the two roses sitting between the hospital beds were in full bloom. Van Pelt's shoulder had been acting up, so the nurses gave her a double dose of morphine. She floated in a wonderful pain-free world. Everything seemed to be quite wonderful.

"Hey boss! What's red and green and goes 400 miles per hour?" she asked, propping herself up on her bed.

"You've told me that joke already," Lisbon replied. She frowned at the juice box on her dinner tray. She wasn't allowed to eat solids just yet, and juice was getting on her nerves.

Van Pelt giggled. "Red and green and 400 miles per hour. A frog in a blender!"

"It gets less funny every time."

Van Pelt stopped giggling suddenly. She jumped off her bed and staggered to the door. Lisbon considered ordering her to go back to bed, but decided that she didn't want any more frog jokes and Van Pelt could go annoy the nurses instead. But instead of leaving, Van Pelt peering into the hallway, looking left and then right. She closed the door. Tiptoeing to Lisbon's narrow hospital bed, she jumped onto the end like a teenager at a slumber party.

"We work with hot men!"

Lisbon stared at her. "Okay."

"They are really, really hot! But do you know who I think is hottest of them all?"

Lisbon started to get concerned. Her eyebrows arched in confusion. "Rigsby?"

"Rigsby!" Van Pelt squealed. "He's so, so tall! I love his hair, his dark hair and his bold, mature, strong stance and all his childish quirks! I even love the way he eats all the time! But no, Rigsby isn't the hottest."

Lisbon was intrigued. "Who is then?"

"Cho!"

"Cho?"

"Cho!" Van Pelt squealed again. "He is so hot! His serious, never-crack-a-smile looks are just... just whew!" Van Pelt threw herself backwards, resulting in her falling off the bed and pulling the curtains and their rods off the ceiling in an attempt to catch herself.

A nurse rushed into the room. She looked at Van Pelt shrieking with laughter and shook her head.

"I think they gave her too much," Lisbon offered.

"Yeah."

Van Pelt stopped laughing. She looked up at the nurse with a frown. "You're pretty. Are you married?"

"No." The nurse looked a little uncomfortable. She pulled Van Pelt to her feet and propelled the groggy agent to her bed.

"Are you dating?"

"No."

"Do you like cops?"

"Van Pelt, where are you going with his?" Lisbon queried.

Van Pelt crashed onto her bed and seemed to be drifting away. She roused herself and looked over at Lisbon. "She'd be good for Cho, don't you think?"

And as Van Pelt crashed into a drug-induced sleep, Lisbon studied the nurse. She was blond, tall and looked like she could party if she wore something other than scrubs. Lisbon frowned thoughtfully. Was she Cho's type? For that matter, what was Cho's type? Ah, big deal about types. The boy needed a girl.

"She's right. You should meet Agent Cho. He's one of the best team members on my team."

The nurse smiled and nodded. She clearly thought the cops were crazy. "I'll do that sometime then."

"Well, I-"

"You've suffered a serious wound. It's time for you to rest."

"She's the dope, not me!" Lisbon protested, pointing to Van Pelt. She pulled herself up and fell back with a loud cry of pain. Without asking (which should be illegal if it isn't already, Lisbon thought) the nurse quickly gave her more morphine. The pain dulled to a pulse, and Lisbon struggled to keep her wits about her. But it was a failing battle and so she concentrated on falling asleep instead. Which she did.

But unbeknownst to both Lisbon and the nurse, Van Pelt wasn't sleeping. And when the nurse had left, she staggered out of bed to find a phone.