AN: Sorry for not updating earlier! Life got in the way, you know how it is. This hasn't been beta-ed, so forgive me for mistakes and clunky sentences. I'm sorta in a rush, as I'm leaving my computer for five (painful) days, and I just wanted to post this before I left. I know where this fic is going, but if you have any suggestions feel free to, well, suggest!
Chemistry Test
The 'R' of RIB stood in a slightly intimidating manner. The two girls fought the urge to back up. "I've been thinking long and hard, and I propose we do… a chemistry test."
"If I wanted to do chemistry I would go back to school, or have a career change." Cory shrugged.
"It's not that sort of chemistry test," Ryan said. "Also you're no longer involved in this, so none for you Cory, bye."
"Hey, if it wasn't for him we would never have been touched by the zest of the lemon," Lea said seriously. Ryan turned a piercing gaze to the pint-sized singer, which she returned in a lightsaber stare with equal force. Finally, Ryan nodded.
"Fine, he may sit in."
"So are we going to find out what this potentially dangerous science experiment is about?" Dianna chipped in good naturedly.
"We're not going to get launched out of Sue Sylvester's canon, are we?" Lea deadpanned.
"No," Ryan said. "Ian, you may explain."
At this, the man to the left of Ryan Murphy reluctantly put down the printed fics he had been avidly reading, and stood.
"There are three aspects to the chemistry test. You, Lea and you, Dianna, will have to portray your characters within these and prove to us that this is going to work. The first tests your singing chemistry. The second –"
"Shh no! We're keeping the rest a secret for now, in order to increase dramatic tension," Brad said.
"Well ok, but we will have to approve of what you've done in each round, in order to progress to the next. And at the end of the three rounds, we shall make a final decision. Savvy?"
"This is sounding too much like a new season of the Glee Project," Lea muttered. Dianna grinned.
"Are there going to be eliminations?"
No one laughed.
"This here is your sheet music for the first test. You'll be performing it tomorrow."
"Well at least I get to sing something," Dianna muttered, then frowned. "Hold on, we did 'I Feel Pretty'. Wasn't that enough?"
"We need to see you guys in a romantic context."
"Well you could've, if you hadn't taken out the 'gay'." Lea did a little head bob to emphasise her point.
"This is irrelevant. Sing or die," Ryan said. They stared at him for a second, before he gave a loud chuckle. "Just kidding. Sing, or Faberry will never happen."
Dianna visibly swallowed.
"Ok."
On their way out, the blonde grabbed their sheet music, and upon surveying their material gave a small gasp. Lea and Cory whipped around.
"What? What is it?" Cory asked.
The look of disgust on Dianna's face was instantly replaced with what could be read as determination, or just a bad case of indigestion.
"I, um, they just gave us one copy of the music. Terribly irresponsible. I'll photocopy it for you Lea, and –and…. Meet you later."
They watched in slight consternation as their co-star quickly left the building.
*GLEEEELG*
It was the next day. It was the day. The day that would start the determination of their fates. Lea knew this could be construed as her just being dramatic, but really, this was extremely important to her. She felt it was deciding something important in her life, and if they failed, Glee wasn't worth being in. Yes. She was so caught up in her thoughts, pacing back and forth backstage, that she jumped when a familiar voice rang out of nowhere.
"Faberry is so totally hot, Miss Michele!" The singer turned in alarm, to see Naya grinning at her from behind a curtain.
"Um, Naya, could you come out from there? It's kinda creepy."
The woman complied. "Sorry, just wanted to surprise you. I'm meant to be a 'surprise judge' for your performance today, so I'm doing my duty, y'know? I've already targeted Dianna. She screamed, and it. Was. Hilarious! Also, Chris showed me the fanfics. Phwoar! You two are nearly as smoking as Brittana."
Heather appeared from behind another curtain, looking very blonde and leggy. "Yeah, but the force of the gay is stronger I feel. I think it's the subtext. Also, I'm another guest judge."
"Is the whole Glee cast a part of this?"
"No, just the gay ones," Heather said. She paused for a moment as Naya started coughing weirdly. "Ah, um, I meant the ones who portray gay characters."
"Ok," Lea said, choosing to ignore her strange slip up.
"We've, uh, got to go take our judge seats now. Good luck," Naya said.
Heather leaned in close enough for Lea to smell her clichéd strawberry and vanilla scent. "We'll be rooting for you," She whispered, then winked, before striding off with her shorter castmate.
As Lea anxiously peered out at the stage, she caught sight of Dianna getting ready in the wings opposite from her. The blonde had a slightly nauseous look flitting over her perfect face, which Lea found odd. They had done this before. Sure, maybe not something in this context, but they were used to performing in front of professional audiences by now. No matter, they were going to nail this. Then each other. In a fictional way of course.
As the chords of their song pealed around the auditorium, she smoothed down the skirt of her pink vintage dress, chuckling as Dianna did the same with her white skirt. The two girls stepped out, turning to face the blinding lights. If Lea squinted, she could make out the outlines of RIB, Naya, Heather, Jane, Chris, Cory, and Darren, sitting in a tightly bunched, very gay row.
The process she went through as she was about to perform was usually slightly strange, but effective. It began now, as she closed her eyes, sinking into the music, and tried to assume the character of Rachel. This required some settling into her thoughts.
Big nose. Big nose. Pain face. Pain face diva. Pain face –
Jewfasa.
With this in mind, she took a breath, and started singing with her 'love'.
"Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings. The world, for once, in perfect harmony, with all its living things."
Eyes finally open, she reached a tentative hand out to grasp 'Quinn's', shivering a little as she found smooth, soft skin. The girl next to her began to sing.
"So many things to tell her, but how to make her see. The truth about my past? Impossible! She'd turn away from me."
Somebody to Love, Somebody to Love, eyesex, Lion Quinn, EYESEX, Lea reminded herself.
"She's holding back, she's hiding, but what, I can't decide – why won't she be the Quinn I know she is, the Quinn I see inside?"
It had been Dianna's idea to make these small adjustments to the lyrics, and overall, Lea couldn't help but be impressed by them.
Eyesex time! That little voice in Lea's head that updated her (especially when doing the Finchel scenes) tittered. She slowly turned her head, and saw Dianna doing the same. As their eyes met, that voice suddenly quietened, and Lea found herself relaxed as they repeated the chorus several times.
"And if she feels the love tonight, in the way I do…" Lea sang softly.
"It's enough for this restless wanderer –" Dianna took a step closer, and Lea found the air momentarily rushing out of her lungs, before they successfully wrapped up together.
"Just to be with you."
There was a stunned silence, broken suddenly by Cory cheering and clapping.
"What," Ryan cut over him. "Was that?"
Lea released Dianna's hand and crossed her arms defensively. "I'm sorry?"
Despite it having been put together under a day, she was sure they hadn't sucked that much. The suck fairies living in her brain had failed to alert her in any case.
"You know very well what." Ryan had his 'I'm bored and in-charge' face on. "That wasn't the song we asked you to sing."
There was a light buzzing in the brunette's head as she struggled to make some sort of a connection, but failed. Dianna stepped forward.
"My apologies, that was me. I didn't think singing a duet version of 'Every Breath You Take' would be appropriate and true to character." She raised an eyebrow as fiercely as she could in a serial-killer Quinn impression, but still failed to cow the Murph.
"You changed our choice because you disagreed with it? My colleagues and I thought it was extremely romantic. And lesbian."
"Yes, and so was Kurt stalking Finn, and Rachel in general, with every piece of meat, or –or vegan alternative that she catches sight of and– you catch my drift. Every Breath You Take is a stalker song."
"I didn't think Kurt was very lesbian," Darren whispered not so softly to Chris.
The cogs finally clicked into place. "Oh," Lea breathed. "How noble of you Dianna, though I do disagree with your keeping it from me and not consulting me on alternate song choices."
"But it was a good song, you'll have to admit," Cory said.
"Yes, it was a fitting, extremely beautiful song choice." Lea giggled and grabbed Dianna into a hug, which she sank into because, well, because.
"I got the inspiration from that Lion Quinn thing – that cool fic with the Jewfasa, and that Strongcucumber chick who draws," Dianna said proudly. "Also, I really like the song."
"I loved that fic too!" Lea literally cooed.
"What a touching scene of insubordination," Ryan said. "But now the damage is done, and we have to decide where to go from here. Ian? Brad?"
"W—well, I r—really liked the song," Ian babbled.
"Me too," Brad said.
"I agree, it was terrible," Ryan said. "Mainly because I didn't pick it."
Brad's face crumpled. "Lies."
"I'm afraid this is the end of the line for you girls," Ryan said. Lea half-expected him to do an evil laugh. She couldn't believe it. How could this be the end? They had barely started. She turned to Dianna, only to find that she still had her serial-killer face on.
"How about we take a vote?" The blonde growled in a super sexy voice. A shiver worked its way up Lea's spine.
"I'm sorry?" Ryan absentmindedly said.
"How. About. We. Take. A. Vote. Democracy rules."
The guy with the yellow hat on frowned as if he had never heard of the word.
"Please Ryan," Brad begged.
"I'm not sure," the man in question said.
Ian piped up. "If not, I'll tell them all about that one time in the hot tub when—"
"Ok ok!" Ryan said. "We'll have a vote. Judges?"
They all turned to look at the 'surprise judges' who were, for the most part looking bored, and immersed in something very interesting on their phones.
"JUDGES," Ryan hollered.
As one, they jumped and quickly pocketed their devices (all save for Darren who had fallen asleep. Jane gently nudged him into wakefulness). Heather made a strange sob-whine noise.
"Uurrgh you ruined the part with the wedding, and Quinn and…and…"
"You're not reading what I think you're reading, are you?" Cory asked. Lea could have sworn his eyes suddenly looked a little teary. "'Cause I was reading it too and—"
"Janey fucking Jansen," the group chorused as one.
Ryan blinked. "Ok, let us return to business. We're taking a vote. All in favour of letting the girls move onto the second round, despite their rebellious and nauseating take on 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight', please raise your hand."
At the flurry of airborne hands, Ryan's face tightened. "Alright girls. Your wish is granted. But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, Rachel and Quinn won't ever make eye contact again, let alone have a relationship."
A few of them gasped.
"Well now that's settled, we'll move onto round two."
"And what's that?" Lea asked.
"Dancing."