Scene opens in Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are sitting on the couch. Joey and Phoebe are sitting in the two chairs at the end table. Chandler is sitting in the armchair.

Phoebe: You guys ready for your honeymoon tomorrow?

Rachel: Yup.

Phoebe: Can you imagine where you'd be right now if you hadn't gotten off that plane to Paris? It's like if I'd never met Mike.

Joey: And if I'd never met Erin.

Monica: Wow, think about where we'd be if we were all single now.

Chandler: Don't look so excited about it.

Theme song and title sequence play. Scenes are different now- include scenes with Rachel in Paris and Monica and Chandler fighting. Scene opens in Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica are sitting on the couch. A plate with a muffin on it is on the coffee table.

Phoebe: Okay, who wants the last muffin?

Monica: Pheebs, that was here when we sat down.

Enter Rachel.

Rachel: Has New York always been this smoggy?

Phoebe: If you don't like it, start walking to work instead of driving.

A pause.

Phoebe: Wait a minute.

Phoebe turns around.

Phoebe: Rachel!

Rachel: Hey, Pheebs!

Rachel and Phoebe hug. Monica and Rachel hug.

Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry I haven't visited lately. Work has been…

Rachel notices Ross.

Rachel: Something about… Paris… Can I have that muffin?

Phoebe: It's not yours.

Rachel: That's why I asked.

Phoebe: Oh, take it, it's not mine, either.

Rachel takes the muffin and sits in the armchair. Awkward pause. Ross stands up.

Ross: I should be getting back to work.

Monica: It's your day off.

Ross: Well, maybe I'll just go meet some people on the subway.

Exit Ross.

Rachel: Oh, my God…

Phoebe: What, the muffin doesn't taste good? I can probably find you something else…

Phoebe leans forward.

Rachel: No, Phoebe! It's Ross!

Phoebe: When isn't it?

Rachel: I cannot believe this happened to us. I can't even talk to him?

Monica: Oh, sweetie, I know it's hard at first.

Rachel: Yeah, and then I feel awful because here I am complaining, "Oh, poor me, I'm living in the most beautiful city in the world, I have a successful job and this guy says he loves me!" and I can't even imagine how he feels that I left him.

Phoebe: Little full of yourself.

Rachel: What?

Enter Chandler and Joey.

Chandler: …and then we put all the sushi back and got dressed.

Monica: What?

Joey: You're right, that was fun!

Rachel: What was fun?

Chandler: Pretending to finish a fake conversation after walking in somewhere.

Joey: Hey… what's with the French girl?

Chandler: Joey, that's Rachel.

Joey: I was making a joke.

Chandler: And I was pretending not to understand that joke.

Joey: Why?

Chandler: I- because… Hello, Rachel!

Rachel: Hi! Oh, last week I was reading the newspaper and I thought of you.

Chandler: Why did the newspaper remind you of me?

Rachel: It didn't, but this guy walked past me while I was reading it that looked like you.

Chandler: Okay then.

Chandler and Joey go to the counter.

Rachel: Oh, I'm really sorry about the divorce, Mon.

Monica: It's okay. You know, it was mutual, and the Geller name's got a great reputation down at the divorce court.

Phoebe: Has he moved his stuff out yet?

Monica: Actually, he's not moving out.

Rachel: Oh my God, you didn't get the house?

Monica: Oh, no, no, we're still living together.

Rachel: What?

Monica: It just makes sense. We have the kids, and we still get along. He's like… a roommate.

Phoebe: That's also your ex-husband.

Monica: Rachel and Ross did it, too!

Rachel: That was totally different.

Monica: How? You had married and divorced him, you had a baby together, and you were living with him.

Rachel: Yeah, well… that was an apartment, this is a house.

Monica: How does that make it different?

Rachel: I don't know.

Scene ends and opens in Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler are standing by the counter. Enter Ross.

Ross (morosely): Hi.

Chandler: Oh, can't you get a less depressing greeting? Like "I'm dying"?

Ross: Rachel's here.

Joey: I know, it's great! I missed her so much and- and nothing.

Ross: Why? Why did this happen to me? I mean, if she's just going to rip out my heart in front of everybody at the airport and then disappear, why… why couldn't she have just stayed away? Why did she have to come back and torture me?

A pause.

Chandler: So I finally refilled my stapler. No, are we still on the whole broken soul thing?

Ross: I don't even know what I'm going to do. Ever.

Joey: I know what you're gonna do.

Ross: Don't say strip club!

Joey: I wasn't! Strip joint.

Ross: I don't need to go see strippers. I just… I need to be alone right now.

Chandler: You've been alone for two years!

Joey: Yeah, live a little! Go out and find a date.

Ross: You do realize that for people who aren't you, it isn't that easy, right?

Chandler: Look, Ross, you don't need a date tonight. Just work on it. Stop holing yourself up in your apartment and get out. Get a life.

Ross: I can always count on you for a reassuring and cliché-less pep talk.

Chandler: Up and at 'em! Get back on the horse! To get to the other side!

Ross: You know what I need to do? I've been divorced three times now, I need to just swear off women.

Chandler: My dad swore off women. Hey, what size raincoat do you wear? Although I guess you'd be in one that's about ten sizes smaller than that…

Ross bumps his fists together and exits.

Joey: I hope he's okay.

Chandler: Yeah, if I cared more I'd probably chase after him.

Joey: So, speaking of divorce-

Chandler: We weren't talking about divorce.

Joey: We were talking about Ross, so I figured…

Chandler: Oh! Right.

Joey: How've you been?

Chandler: I'm okay. I mean, at least it didn't happen at Thanksgiving. And at least I wasn't gay.

Joey (skeptically): Okay. Are you moving back in here with me?

Chandler: No, I'm staying in the house.

Joey: Are you sure you're gonna be able to stay there without Monica finding out?

Chandler: She knows.

Joey: Wait, you're going to be living in the house?

Chandler: Yes.

Joey: And she's going to be living in the house?

Chandler: Yes.

Joey: So…

Joey squints as if he's thinking hard.

Joey: You two… are going to be living… together?

Chandler: No, we're going to be living there in shifts so we never have to see each other. Yes, we're living together!

Joey: Why would you do that? That's like breaking up with your girlfriend and then still going on dates with her.

Chandler: No, it's not. And it'll work, because we don't hate each other, we just don't… love each other anymore.

Joey: Well, I just don't want you two getting in fights and making everything all- wait a minute, that was your lying face!

Chandler: I don't have a lying face!

Joey: Dude, I see it every time you tell me about the girls you're dating. You're still in love with Monica!

Chandler: Oh no, I'm in love with the woman I married and had children with! It's the scandal of the century!

Joey: Seriously, though, you still love her?

Chandler: Well, yeah.

Joey: Then why did you split up?

Chandler: Well, you know, I don't know if it's so much that I still love her as that I love her again. I relove her.

Joey: Hey, there's no such thing as reloving or unloving. Either you always loved her or you never did.

Chandler: Wow, Joey, that was really deep.

Joey: Naw, I saw it in one of Rachel's romantic movies. But I still think it applies.

Chandler: Well, you know, I want to tell Monica how I feel, but I don't want it to make things awkward, or for her to get mad.

Joey: Okay, here's what you do: tell her, and if she freaks out, just pretend you're blind.

Chandler: What?

Joey: Yeah, it works all the time! She'll get really confused, and even if she's still yelling at you, you can just stumble away and walk into something.

Chandler: Are you talking, or just making random noises and moving your mouth?

Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are sitting on the couch. Phoebe stands up.

Phoebe: Well, I gotta go. I have a date.

Monica: Ooh, is this Mr. Internet?

Phoebe: Yup.

Rachel: You're going on a date with a guy you met online?

Phoebe: Well, Rachel, there comes a time when you simply get too old to just stick with flirting in the coffeehouse.

Monica: What about that guy you were talking to at the counter?

Phoebe: He doesn't understand that face-to-face conversation is worthless, the caveman. This is the age of computers!

Phoebe mouths "Call me" to a man at the counter and exits.

Rachel: At least she's got a date. You know I've only been on, like, two dates since I got to Paris? And one of them was with a mime, and he just kind of stayed in his invisible box all night.

Monica: Rachel, if you're tired of being single, you could probably go talk to Ross.

Rachel: Oh, that has nothing to do with it. Besides, he's totally over me.

Monica (sarcastically): Right, that's why he acts all normal and calm around you.

Rachel: Well, just because he might be in love with me doesn't mean I feel the same way.

Monica: How can you not fe- you know what? Never mind.

Rachel: What?

Monica: Nothing I can say will convince you, so I'm just going to let you go your own way.

Rachel: That doesn't sound like you.

Monica: That's because I know that the second he actually does get over you, you're going to start pining after him.

Rachel: I... might do that a little. But it's not because I'm in love with him, it's because I miss, you know, the old times. When everything was simpler. You know, the pre-Facebook era.

Monica: Yeah, I miss it too.

A pause.

Monica: But, you know, you can have a part of that back. Because Ross still loves you.

Scene ends and opens in Joey and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is spinning around very fast in a chair. Enter Joey, with a girl.

Chandler: Hello, multiple Joeys!

Chandler stands and blinks as if disoriented. Joey leads the girl to his room.

Joey: Okay, you just get ready and I gotta go check something.

Girl exits to Joey's room. Joey exits to the hallway. Chandler follows him, standing in the doorway. Joey reenters with another girl.

Joey: Whoops, sorry, I forgot. My apartment is actually one floor below. Well, you won the race.

Joey leads the girl to the spare room.

Joey: I'll be right in.

Girl exits to spare room.

Chandler: Okay, I'm not even dizzy anymore and I swear I just saw two women.

Joey: Yeah.

Chandler: Are you on two dates?

Joey: Pretty much.

Chandler: So, basically, there are so many women for you that they overlap?

Joey: Sure.

Chandler: So… if you're on a date with one girl…

Chandler extends a hand to resemble one girl.

Chandler: And you're also on a date with this other girl…

Chandler extends his other hand to resemble other girl.

Chandler: Why don't you just… you know…

Chandler puts his hands together.

Joey: Chandler, women aren't just accessories that you can clash together whenever you want! They are meant to be respected and treated with importance and individuality.

Chandler: You already asked.

Joey: As a hypothetical question!

Chandler (sarcastically): So chivalry isn't dead. Why couldn't you have just had one of the dates tomorrow?

Joey: Because tomorrow Survivor is on.

Chandler: Oh my God!

Scene ends and opens in a restaurant. Phoebe is sitting at a table across a man.

Man: Well, this has been great.

Phoebe: No it hasn't.

Man: What?

Phoebe: You don't look anything like your picture. And I think you also might have lied about your age.

Man: Excuse me?

Phoebe: Yeah, apparently the Internet betrayed me. This is why we shouldn't trust robots!

Man: You lied, too!

Phoebe: How?

Man: You said you were five nine, but I could swear you are almost an inch shorter than that!

A pause. Phoebe stands and exits. Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's house. Monica is standing in the foyer. Enter Chandler.

Monica: Hey.

Chandler: Hey, Mon. Listen, I've been thinking…

Monica: I know, you're right. This isn't going to work.

A pause.

Chandler: Right. Yeah, it's… probably a bad idea. I mean, what with the way the Swedish economy is going…

Monica: What?

Chandler: This is why we should never use pronouns! What are we talking about?

Monica: Chandler, I don't think we should live together.

Chandler: I know.

Monica: It's just that with everything that's happened, and seeing each other all the time, it could get really awkward, and things might end up… happening that shouldn't… be happening.

Chandler: Like this?

Chandler and Monica kiss.

Monica: Yeah, pretty much.

Scene ends and opens outside Central Perk. Ross is walking down the street towards the coffeehouse.

Ross (thinking, voice-over): I can do this. There's more to life than dating and women. Like dinosaurs. Just remember the dinosaurs. I don't need relationships.

Ross enters Central Perk. Rachel is standing by the couch. Ross begins walking towards the counter but bumps into a woman.

Ross: Oh, I'm sorry.

Woman: No, no, it's fine.

Ross: Are you okay?

Woman: Yeah, totally.

Ross: I feel like I should buy you a coffee to make up for it.

Woman: Well, that would be nice.

Ross walks with the woman to the counter. Rachel collapses onto the couch, aggravated. Credits appear on the screen.

CREDITS SCENE:

Scene opens in Joey's apartment. Joey is tip-toeing towards his room. The woman in the spare room enters.

Woman: Joey, what are you doing?

Joey: Uh…

The woman in Joey's room enters.

Other Woman: Who's she?

A pause.

Joey: I'm blind!

END OF SHOW

A/N: Let's play a game. Give me an actor/actress and I will connect him/her to Friends. For example, Miley Cyrus. She's on Hannah Montana with Emily Osment, who was on Friends. Go ahead, challenge me!