I-HoUsToN wE hAvE a PrObLeM
eDwArD
This had to have been the most horrible thing to ever happen to me. And I mean, this is competing with losing to a chihuahua of all things and choking on my own spit 5 times in one day(don't ask, I had a sucky childhood). For once, I wasn't in control and there was nothing I could do to help Isaiah or me. I was completely freaking out, panicking, and hyperventilating so bad I don't even want to think about all the trees I've killed with my recent paper bag usage.
The only thing I could do to stop myself from going insane was running over and over through my head what I did know. One, my brother and I had somehow been put into the storyline of our most favorite book series. Two, our summer had been totally jacked and we were stuck in a private school for spoiled brats with only one other normal person. Three, my Latin teacher (Yeah, good-bye Spanish) was a centaur in disguise, one of my only two friends had a goat butt, and they had no idea we knew. Four, Percy would not hear the truth from us and I made sure Isaiah knew it. Four, we'd suddenly become fatherless and ADHD (and dyslexic in my brother's case), not that our dad was involved much in the first place. Five, I just used four twice and bet many of you didn't notice, and are now going back to see for yourselves. Lastly six, I was really rockin' the whole uniform look.
Going with the flow really seemed like our only option and I was surprised with how easily we accepted our fates. I mean, we were two MAJOR PJO fans and we were suddenly part of our dream world (even if it meant being back in 2005 and de-aging by two years). How could we not be loving this? School had never been an issue with me; I rarely studied and never hard when I did, but still had straight A's, no detentions, and was well-liked by all my teachers. Except Mrs. Dodds of course, but that had been settled when we first met (and you should all know why). Seriously, Mrs.? Who would marry her? Everything was really just fine until a certain unforgettable field trip snuck up on me…
{PrEsEnT}
Yancy Academy had arranged for all the first year Latin classes to attend a field trip to the American Museum of Natural History. You know, the one that those awesome movies were made about? Yeah, I checked all the dummies and skeletons, but found no traces of "late-night activity". Which was really too bad since Isaiah really wanted that monkey's autograph. We'll come back on our own at night so we can break in and find out for sure. Note to self, do not ask museum guides about movies that have not been made yet.
We were now outside eating lunch, or I was, most of these losers were goofing around or starting rumors about the kids just on the other side of the fountain.
Lord help me.
My cheeseburger and fries were already being digested in my tummy so I could focus all my attention on the handout "Mr. Brunner" assigned. It was a little hard to focus with my new mental problem, but all the answers really were either said by the tour guide, in the brochures, or on the little plaques in front of each exhibit. It was no rocket science trust me, I hate science. Still that didn't mean I didn't have to poke Percy in his ribs Mrs. Dodd style to get him to do it.
"Come on, Percy," I demanded while jabbing him one more time, "Finish it already. Look, mine's done!" My fiction hero had become my best friend, but he could still be exasperating especially with the ADHD and dyslexia. Though it was kind of cute in a "lost puppy" way.
"Ermph ehen," he muttered with a mouthful of his sandwich. Lettuce and condiments was sprayed at me. I scrunched up my face in disgust and started swatting at it like I was being attacked by mosquitoes. He swallowed and wiped some honey mustard from his lips with his wrist. "Sorry," Percy told me.
"S'okay," I grumbled. My attention was really focused on a persistent mustard glob on my fingertip that refused to be flicked away. Though that was okay too considering Percy was glaring at something over my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and placed our worksheets away. Those would just have to be finished at a later time; trouble was afoot.
The scene unfolding behind me was one I had sadly become accustomed to. There was of course, Nancy Bobofit; the mean, bullying, soulless, ginger henchwoman to the wicked bird-lady. Her unnaturally orange freckles looked like they were spray painted on and her hair always gave me horrible flashbacks of Ronald McDonald.
Our dear friend (and secret, undercover satyr), Grover Sounds-Like-Underwear-Underwood, was the other character in the scene. The movie totally did not give him justice because he could never look that cool. He really resembled an Irish-Jamaican mix with that Rasta hat and frizzy hair, but everything else really just screamed goat, particularly of the Billy variety.
Naturally, Nancy was looming over poor Grover threateningly with a manicured finger playing with his goatee. She had a nasty grin on her face and a feral look in her eyes. That girl really disgusted me even before I actually knew her, but now she had made the mistake of messing with one of my friends…again. Percy and I cleaned up our lunches and sauntered over to the quarrel to deal with the female dog (no offense to dogs).
"Really, Ms. Frizzle," I said exasperated to Nancy, "Doesn't this same old routine get boring to you?" She did pick on the satyr-in-disguise a lot.
She snorted at our intrusion. "Well if it isn't Miss Goody-Goody and her loser boyfriend. I was wondering when you'd finally show up," she said with a roll of her eyes. She stood up straight and returned our glares.
My fists clenched and I took a step forward. "I am not a goody-goody," I clarified and continued, a bit more bashfully, with, "And Percy is neither a loser nor my boyfriend." I couldn't help but smile a little and blush red when some guy hollered happily behind me after the last statement.
Percy nodded in agreement his cheeks tinged pink. His eyes narrowed dangerously at the annoying redhead (and flicked back shortly at whoever had hollered) making worry start to stir in the pit of my stomach. "Now," he said too calmly, "Leave Grover alone, for good this time."
The three of us continued to stare heatedly at one another, but it was clear none of us were folding. I knew I could last; I once went a whole car ride from Miami to New Orleans without blinking once (if only because I was so zoned out the whole time in my own little world). Grover saw his opportunity and tried to escape, but Nancy had good senses and caught him be the collar growling menacingly resulting in her losing the contest.
"Why do you care about these dorks," she asked me emphasizing the word "dorks", "when you're Princess Perfect. Mister Five-Time-Repeater over hear is too pathetic for words," Grover winced, "And this dyslexic hero wannabe couldn't find his way out of a paper bag." She snickered at her own insults and Percy turned a whole new shade of red. "And let's not forget that pitiable brother of yours." Oh NO she didn't, I thought. She had crossed into the forbidden zone. "I mean I could list all that freak's faults and in fact, I will!" she continued not realizing the horror she had just awoken. She began to count on her fingers, "He's dyslexic like Perseus over hear and ADHD, too. He's mentally unbalanced, stupid beyond belief, small in all implications of the word," she snickered again, "naïve, weak, clumsy, spastic, and we can't leave out his sinful sexual preferences." Who? Edward Daüt. Where? Natural History Museum. How? With her fists.
Before her mental game of Clue could play out, Percy made the first move. His face could win first place in a county fair by now and his fists were balled so tight, the knuckles were whiter than a dead man's. A fierce energy was coming off of him and something didn't feel right, like déjà vu or something. "Shut up, Nancy, you talk smack about everyone, but you have absolutely NO right to talk about Isaiah! He's a picture of pure innocence! It's people like you…" He was so steamed he couldn't even finish his sentence.
I gingerly placed a hand on his shoulder. It was so tense. "Percy…"
"What, I'm right aren't I, loser?" Nancy goaded. And then she was gone.
It happened so fast, both the giant hand made of water grabbing the bully and the memory coming back to me, that I was in a state of shock. My skin noticeably paled and I could've given myself a face palm. How could I forget? This is THE day!
Right on time, the beak nose of Mrs. Dodds came into the scene, her beading eyes looking down it with a malicious gleam different from the one she normally wore. Nancy's drenched copper curls splashed out from under the fountain's surface covering an evil eye that quickly changed to a grin at the sight of her favorite teacher. She knew we were in trouble, but she had no idea. "You two," Mrs. Dodds pulled me back to reality, "Come with me."
PeRcY
"Chill out, Edward, we'll tell the witch what happened and deal with the detention," I tried to soothe the girl. I knew how much Ed's record meant to her, but she was being a bit ridiculous about one little detention. The girl frantically pulled on my arm like we walking into a fire or something. There was a manic look in her normally clear blue eyes.
"N-No," she stuttered(very unlike her), "You don't understand Percy." Our eyes met and, much to my chagrin, I could feel my cheeks flush pink. That blue against her skin stood out so much and made her eyes pop like you have no idea. It felt nearly impossible to look away and I couldn't say I wanted to. Shaking my head to clear it, I was actually starting to consider her panicking, but it was too late.
Mrs. Dodds had led us to an empty wing of the museum. With closer inspection you could see why; it was still under construction with ladders, pieces of wood, and other junk laying around in waiting. The only thing complete was a model of a rocket ship hanging from the ceiling. He remembered from the brochure that they were making a small space exhibit in the main building because the space museum wasn't getting as much attention as it used to. Probably because it was a bit out of the way and Americans were fat and lazy.
Our teacher turned sharply on her heels and locked those chilling eyes on us. I shivered, but Ed stiffened. What is up with her?
"Give it to me," she demanded coldly.
Blinking I stared at her confused and Ed squirmed behind me. "Give you what?" I asked having absolutely no clue what was going on anymore. Now Mrs. Dodds stiffened, but that quickly changed when her head lowered with a sneer and a growl. OK, what's up with her?
She barked, "Don't play coy with me, sea boy! Hand over the master bolt and no one gets hurt."
OK, seriously, this isn't funny anymore. I began stepping back slowly and gripped Ed's hand. She returned the squeeze, but Mrs. Dodds saw this. It was obviously a bad idea and before I tell you why, you have to believe me, this is all TRUE. OK, just a little heads up there. Back to our teacher; she suddenly started convulsing and for a nanosecond I was concerned, but that feeling was quickly replaced with surprise and terror as the woman began to change into an even worse hag than she was before. Her brown business dress suit shivered and shook into feathers, and her lame leather jacket pulled back into wings. She screeched at us like a real bat and Ed screamed. I was right with her there; if I hadn't been utterly paralyzed in fear I would've probably screamed as well.
With a flap, the ex-teacher monster charged right at us. I was too stunned by her speed to react properly and I'm ashamed to say, Ed had to pull me out of the way to safety, or, a safer place at least. Mrs. Dodds tried to halt in mid-air, but still ended bumping into the wall. She wouldn't be down for long.
Using the opportunity, I pulled Ed and myself to our feet. "What is she?" I screamed.
"A Fur-Kindly One, they're servants of Hades, Lord of the Underworld," she answered as if it was the most normal thing to say in the world. I gave her a look expressing my thoughts. "What?" she demanded, "You asked." Before I could remind her of the definition of a rhetorical question, the apparent "Kindly One" got back to her feet, er, talons.
"Percy! Edward!" Someone called from behind us. We swiveled our heads to see Grover pushing a stony-faced Mr. Brunner in our direction.
"Don't come over here," I tried to warn them, "It's not safe!"
"Catch!" Mr. Brunner called throwing something at me and completely ignoring my previous statement. I had no idea what it was supposed to be and I doubted I ever would; just as I was going to catch it with those "fantastic" baseball skills I have, Mrs. Dodds swooped in and stole it. She smiled cruelly and tossed the object to the floor of the museum's upper level.
We all stared horrified at the bird-woman. "T-That wasn't supposed to happen," Ed mumbled. I cocked an eyebrow at her, but quickly had to jump to the opposite side as our enemy charged again. Landing clumsily, I pivoted around on the floor just to see what most likely would be my demise. Man, she's fast. I rolled to the right to avoid her outstretched talons and then quickly jumped backwards from yet another pounce. How I was avoiding her escaped me, but I sure wasn't about to jinx it.
Too late.
The short second I was second-guessing myself was all Mrs. Dodds needed to pin me down to the floor. The points of her claw dug into my sides painfully and I bit my lip to hold in a yelp. "One more chance," she screeched sadistically, "Where is the bolt?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Grover and our human teacher come to a sudden halt at her words and pale. Does everyone know what's going on but me and Ed? Speaking of, where is she? Sometimes I swear it's like that girl and I have a psychic connection.
"One swing for man," her voice echoed throughout the deadly silent room. Our attention quickly went upwards and I swear all the color left my face at what I saw. There was Edward.
Sitting on the rocket model.
With a pen.
Well, it was a pen before she took the cap off, then it morphed into a shimmering bronze blade. She smirked and I couldn't stop the corners of my mouth from curling up either. "One swing for mankind." She swung cutting one of the model's support cables.
Surprisingly silent, the model and girl rocketed (no pun intended) at Mrs. Dodds who turned around too late. Both the Kindly One and the model rocket were forced forward, the momentum snapping the other supporting cables letting the duo fly right out of the museum through the large window behind us. Strange, golden dust rained down from the now broken glass. The impact with the monster knocked Ed off and she oh so conveniently landed on a cushiony surface aka me.
Grover and Mr. Brunner hurried over to us. "You guys OK?" our hairy friend asked.
"Yeah, we had a blast," Ed replied sarcastically. She pulled herself off me grumbling; there'd probably be bruises in the morning, but we were otherwise OK. "But did you see that thing," she asked expecting an answer.
Mr. Brunner blinked, "What thing?"
Frozen in shock, we just openly gaped at them. "B-B-But," Ed tried to speak, but then she became enraged, screamed, and stormed off,you know,typical girl reaction. I was too numb to get mad and got back to my feet more calmly. I would have demanded some real answers from the two, but stiffened as I saw museum security come charging into the room. Hoping they could keep up the "I know nothing" charade up for a bit longer, I ran off after Ed, my life forever changed.
So sorry for the long wait;I plan to update once every 5 days,but I went to a family reunion and didn't organize around it,sorry! But thanks to LittleLostLacey for faving and following! You get an Ed chibi! X3 Review or Ed will go mamma bear on you.