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I don't know who this girl is, but at least for the moment she is useful.

We are surrounded by walkers and the crazy cannibal bastards, so even one kinda chubby girl wielding a 4x4 as a weapon was useful.
If she made it out of this alive, hell if I made it out of this alive, Rick would sort her out.
He was far better at diplomacy than I am.
I shoot things, do things, fight. I don't negotiate.
I stopped Carl from shooting the general that day, an act of a leader, and look what that had cost Hershel?
All of us…
I don't have my bow, but in these circumstances the pipe was probably better anyway, I wouldn't have the time to collect the arrows. So at least this way I wasn't wasting them.
To be honest I was more concerned with the psychos with the guns than the walkers.
If we could just make it to the fence we could get clear.

Running, stabbing walkers with a hollow pipe, brains and black gooey matter pushing out and landing on my hand from the hollow center. I used to think I would get used to it, but while the shock factor wears off…its still damn gross.

Carl is on my right, Rick and Abraham are in front of me, and the girl is bringing up the rear. I don't want her to die, but better her than one of us. So the rear is a good place for her. The adrenaline is pumping through me, all I can hear is the rushing of the blood in my ears, and my eyes dart about, ticking off the members of the group. Making sure they are all safe.

That's when I see the dark hair running quick towards Carl on my right. Not a walker, but the girl

Instinct kicks in and I jerk towards him, thinking maybe it was a trick and she is one of them, but then I see her plow the 4x4 into a walkers stomach then bring it down onto and through its skull. Goopy gray matter sloshing onto her shoes before she pushes him to the ground.

Well hot damn…she has my vote.

In the following five minutes that feel more like an hour, I notice she sticks close to Carl. Probably good for them both, Carl is one tough kid but a little help never hurt anyone. Almost there… almost to the gate. Almost safe…ish.
I shuffle my feet and turn, pipe gripped so hard in my hand that they have gone numb. I see the girl approach me and push Carl towards the gate. Then she does something that takes me by surprise, she stands by my side, covered in walker slushy and ready to fight.

This girl is something else… I am always willing to die for my friends, my family. I would submit to having the shit beat out of me, left behind, or even eaten alive by walkers if it meant I could save even just one of them.
But what the hell was her reason for buying them time. She didn't owe us anything… well maybe she did for letting her out of that container.
But still…this was normally a situation for self service, not self sacrifice.
She was dedicated, you had to hand her that…its not every day you see a woman bash the brains in on a walker and look perfectly collected while doing it.

I heard the walker snarling its way towards me from the left rear…but I was dealing with three on my front.
If I could just get free of the ones in the front for a split second I could at least push the one in back off and buy a few much needed seconds.
Then I heard it…another WHAM, Wham, wham.
This whole jab 'em in the stomach then play piñata with the heads seemed to be her go to move. I wonder if a club is her weapon of choice?
She did it again.
This girl was too nice to survive out there on her own. First she saves Carl, then has my back when I need it.
I make a mental note to thank her later… if Rick lets her stay, and if she lives. Two more walkers down for me and one for her, when Abraham calls us from the fence line. Being the southern gentleman I am…I don't squeeze when I put a hand on her ass and shove her over the fence.

Back in the forest I keep an eye on this girl.
She is shifty, unease written all over the way she shifts from foot to foot and won't keep her eyes in one place.
She is either hiding something, or about to bolt, or both.
But then rick is talking about going back, and while Glenn and Maggie are straight out about how they feel about that plan. I am just holding my tongue…waiting to see how the mood swings.
I don't know rightly what my own opinion is on it.
Do I think they deserve to die? Hell Yes!
Do I think we have to be the ones to do it? Not sure.
Killing them shouldn't be fun.
I know Beth was talking about walkers, but I can't help but think she would have said the same now.
Maybe it wasn't "fun" in this case per say, but it wasn't necessary either.
Rick stops mid sentence and I turn to see what he is looking at behind me…
Carol…
I run to her like a fucking girl…and I just don't care who sees.
Oh my god Carol
Carol, Carol, Carol… I just can't seem to hug her tight enough. I don't ever want to let her go. I lose people when I let them go…
Meryl, Carol, Hershel, Beth…Never again. I am going to hold her forever!
I want to do this… though I know logically I cannot literally hold her forever. So I let her down…taking one more touch with my forehead to her shoulder… Oh she's safe.
Her and Rick speak, and I can tell that that fence was quickly mended.
How could it not be?
She saved all of us…single handed.
I may not agree with Rick's decision to send her away…but he was right about her being strong enough to survive on her own.
"Ahem!" Comes loudly from the mystery girl.
Speaking of strong women...
Carol turns to the woman and says
"I'm carol.
"Amber"
Hmmmm...stripper name. But a pretty one.
"How long have you been with the group?" Carol asks her
"Oh I..." She stammers nervously.
"She joined about 20 minutes ago when she saved Carl" I say.
I make sure to make my tone sound as if it's a done deal. Rick knows me well enough to get my drift..."she earned her keep" is the unsaid message. I can tell by the way she stammered that she wasn't going to say anything by way of asking to stay. So I will do it for her...one good turn deserves another.
"She did dad" Carl says and his tone says that he thinks Rick should ask her to stay. "I'm very grateful. But before you can join us you have to answer 3 questions" I never argue with Rick about his three questions... But sometimes I do think they are unnecessary. Like now...she just saved Carl! For no reason!

"How many people have you killed?"
Oh I missed the answer to the first one.
I narrow my eyes at her hesitation.
"Five"
"Why?"
"Because they would have killed me. And there was no way I could have outrun them, or hid from them"
She is hiding something, maybe not lying, but she definitely isn't saying everything. I can understand that...I won't press it. But I'll keep my eyes on her until I am as sure of her as I am the others.
Until she is either gone, dead or family.
After we get settled in at the cabin I take the time to get stock of what we have. To be honest I have a certain item in mind...first aid kit.
Amber is going to need her hands looked after, and with that many splinters in it, it's going to need to be kept clean. Which means bandages...big ones. It was painful just to look at, if my hands were that beat up it would be a bitch to use my bow...maybe that's why I am looking this hard.
I find it in a tool box...this place had to belong to a man.
I take it to Carol who is still pulling splinters out of Amber's bloody swollen hands. After I give it to carol to use I go back to my side of the room and try my best to find a comfortable way to bed down.
After some working at it I manage to, then I watch her...Amber.
She seems genuine enough, guarded, but nice.
Manners...not something overly important in the Dixon house.
Only time it was ever important was if me or Meryl forgot to call dad "sir". Then it was the buckle end of the belt that would remind us of it.
But this girl...the rough around the edges seemed to be more of a recent addition. Seemed like she was raised nice, but had the roughness ground into her after the world went to shit.
It contrasts with her soft looks, long black wavy hair, olive skin, almond shaped black eyes and long lashes.
She still has full breasts, wide hips and a thick waist. But having survived this long she has to be strong, healthy and smart.
Our just smart and untrustworthy.
And since I'm not sure which it is...I sleep extra light.
That's how I see her sneak out right after dawn.
"Rick" I say shaking him awake "Amber just slipped out. I'm gonna follow her." "I'll come with you"

"nah. She's one girl. I can handle it."

Rick presses his gun to my palm.
"If I hear shots we are coming"
I just nod and go to follow her...
She is pretty fast on her feet, stopping now and then to listen. Nothing appears to be shady about her walk, and just when I think maybe she has just decided to split, she stops and stares up a tree.

That's gotta hurt
I think as I watch her climb, hands still bandaged and bloody.
If things were different I would offer to help her.
But right now I just really need to see what she has in that tree.
She goes too far up for me to see her until she comes back down carrying a duffel back and a recurve bow slung over her shoulder.
Hilarious…another archer.
She sets down fishes around in her bag, pulling out a 9mm and places it next to her right thigh. I guess now is the time to approach and see what she has in that bag. Crossbow aimed I take a step forward, not attempting to be quiet and she hears me, lighting to her feet and point the 9mm right at my head.
I have no intention to lower mine till she lowers hers, which she does quickly. "Shit you scared me" she says

"I saw you slip out this morning. So I followed you." I admit
"Well if I had known that I would have asked you to climb the tree"
"You did well enough"
"Always do"
Cocky, but it's probably true. Amber doesn't look like the kind of woman that took a lot of shit or help from anyone. Even before zombies took over the whole damned world. Even her choice in bow says that. Recurve aren't the easiest bows to use accurately, they pose a challenge close to that of my own.
"Nice bow"
"Thanks...been using this longer than a gun"
"Same here"
It will be nice to have another person around to talk shop with. No one else here has any interest in it, and Beth is gone. Maybe forever.
I am deep in thoughts of where Beth could be and how to find her when Amber says. "Jeez dude sit down I am just looking for food"
My suspicions are lessening quickly when it comes to her, but I am not stupid, so I sit with my bow on my lap.
"Here." She hands me a half of a … granola bar? Do I look like the kind of guy that eats fucking granola bars?
I think about refusing, but now days sharing food is a big deal. So instead I say. "Thanks"
Maybe I have more manners than I thought.
I hate to admit it…but this thing tastes pretty good.
"Why a recurve?" I ask her.
"I have always used a recurve. So I guess because I am used to it. Good with it. Why a crossbow? "
"Same" the way she talks says that this was a pre-walker habit of hers.

"Ready to head back?" she asks as she finishes the bar.
I nod and head back towards the cabin.
On the way back I bags five squirrels Amber gets a rabbit and one squirrel. Well she at least knows how to hunt, between the two of us, we should be able to keep us fed as long as the game holds out.
Fighter, hunter… she is definitely useful. Now we just have to see if she can fit in with the group.
Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie and Carol are outside when we show back up.

Shit
I think as we walk up. I am going to get shit for this, I can tell from the smiles already on their faces.
Then the laughter starts and Amber looks confused.
"Well well...I think you may want to rethink letting another one in" Carol says smiling. Peals of laughter ring through the air.
Amber looks at me and I can't help the smile that twitches at the corner of my mouth. Leave it to this group to find another archer, even I am thinking it.
I think she is less like me than it might look right now. But I know they are already thinking she is. And when Rick says
"I don't think the world can handle more than one Daryl. But maybe we can". I wonder if he is right it would be nice to have someone like me here. But I still don't think Amber is that person.

After another three weeks with her I am beginning to rethink that.
When I first met her, I thought that the guarded, but nice thing was an act. And I just waited for the crazy bitch part to come out.
But it hasn't.
If anything she gets nicer, and more annoying.
At least to me.
She is always trying to get me to talk.
Daryl Dixon does not chit chat.
She doesn't bother the others like this, so what did I do to deserve it?
She talks to the others if the opportunity arises, they will even laugh and joke. But she doesn't seek them out.
Most of the time she is quiet and keeps to herself. The first week you could barely get a word out of her, now, she talks too much for my taste.
But then when I say that to Carol she scolds me, saying
"Everyone talks too much for your tastes."
I can't really argue with that.
"I think she is on the quiet side. But hey, you know her and I could be the start of your new fan club pookie"
I really hope no one else ever hears her call me that.
I just squint my eyes at her and tell her to "stop" then go elsewhere to eat my food. Amber is walking over this way with her food and I silently prey that she will sit with Tara. They seem to get along pretty well, they laugh and even giggle now and then. I have no idea about what, nor do I want to…I tell myself.
But, of course, she doesn't. She sits next to me and I instinctively scoot a little away as I feel my body tense up.
"I am not going to bite you" she says with annoyance in her voice.
"Humph" is all I can think to say.
"That's probably not as funny a saying as it used to be huh?" she says
"Not really"
"A lot of sayings aren't exactly appropriate anymore. Like drop dead, I feel like warmed over death, you look like a zombie, eat me." She laughs at that one…and I can't stop the little chuckle that comes from my chest
"YES!" she says triumphantly and holds her plastic fork up.
"What are yah talk'n 'bout?" I ask
"I got you to laugh!" she says wiggling her fork at me. She's actually very cute when she smiles…I did not just think that.
"I have got everyone to at least chuckle, except you, till now. Tara seems to think I am quite funny"
"That's probably because Tara wants to sleep with you."
"Nah," she says taking a bite of lukewarm green beans "We already had that talk. I'm not into girls. But we have made a pack that if neither of us gets laid in the next year, we will at least give it a go."
What tha?
"Huh?" I ask
"She is pretty hot as girls go. And it's the end of the world so, why not cross it off my bucket list."
The mental vision that conjures up in my head immediately has it feeling hotter in here. "Hmm"
"Is that your answer to everything? Usually talk about girl on girl action gets a little more out of a man than that"
"I think if it comes to that y'all should wait till we find a working video camera and some batteries."
Now it's my turn to make her laugh. It sounds nice.
Nicer because she, unlike so many woman, isn't offended by my joke. She just laughs. "Only if I get 50% stock in the new world porn company" she says.
"33%" I correct "Tara's gonna want in on it too ya know"
"Ok fine 33%." She says standing "I'm gonna get some water"
Lucky her, I can't stand the rest of the night, so I sleep where I had been.

That was a week or so ago, and now it's like she is attached to my ass.
I guess it's not really her fault. Rick did ask her to go out with me when I go hunting. Which is pretty much every day.
So I am stuck with her every day, one reason I hate it so much is that I enjoy her company. Sure, she talks more than I like, but less than others would.
She isn't like Beth at all, but she learns, like Beth did, to let me be.
Most of the time.
Today she is very chatty, and it's wearing on me.
I am already annoyed that there is no game left in this area, and worried about the fact that it hasn't rained in three days. ,
She knows this, knows that I am annoyed and concerned and she just..keeps…talking. "So how old are you?"
Why does she even care?
"Older than you think" I'm 45 but I look younger.
"I'm thirty four"
Not too young for me…where the hell did that come from?
"Congratulations"

I don't care, I don't care.
"Originally from Texas, Houston."
Of course she is a city girl. She will probably look down on me when she knows that… "Never been out of Georgia"
"Really?"
"Yeah"
I need to find Beth!
"I used to travel a lot."
"Mmmm"
Now all I can think about is how I failed to keep Beth safe, and how I am failing to find any food to keep my family fed.
"I was heading towards Tennessee when I saw the terminus signs. I was going to hole up in the smokies. I figured that with less people I would be safer."

I don't respond, mainly because I don't want to talk and because, I am a little taken back that she would have thought of this. It's not every city girl that thinks woods are safer, or that they would stand a snowball's chance in hell in them.
"Where you headed anywhere?"
That's it!
"Jesus girl, you are going to scare away all the game."
I can tell the second it comes out of my mouth that it was a bad idea.
Here eyes get steely and her stance goes rigid. She is PISSED!

"What fucking game?! This ground is loamy and dry as hell. Any game that was here has moved on to where there is more water. We are out here chasing our asses for no real reason. So excuse the hell out of me for trying to be friendly!"
She turns around and stomps off so fast I am surprised her long pony tail doesn't hit her in the face.

Dammit, Dammit DAMMIT!

Why do I always have to go and be a dick?
I don't even have the excuse that I am drunk this time. She is right though, same way Beth was. And I am being an ass for the same damned reason.

I don't except help, or friendship easily. And deep down inside, I still hate myself for all the ways I have failed Hershel, Beth, Rick…everyone. I feel bad about myself, hate myself all the time.
It's like dad always said when he was beating the shit out of me.

You worthless little piece of shit. Can't you do nothin' right? Fucking failure

She was just trying to be nice, but my knee jerk reaction when people are nice to me is to push them away, be an ass, piss them off before they can see how fucked up I am.
Before they can hate me. Before they realize I am that worthless piece of shit.

There is not a person I can think of that wouldn't tell me I was being stupid to push away a nice person just trying to be nice.
Hell Beth would probably want to high five her for telling me off.
Fuck!
I go after her…
I find her digging up plantains, dandelions, violets and other greens.
How they hell does a city girl know those are edible?
I watch her for a little bit…thinking.
I like her, I respect her and oddly enough, I like her talking. Even if that means she might go and tell me off.
Rick and the others are FAMILY. But maybe this girl is my friend.
She has moved on to picking berries when I approach.
"Amber" She looks at me but says nothing "Sorry. I'm not good at talking. It gets on people's nerves."

There is a sigh and I wonder if she is going to yell at me again.

"I lost my temper. Sorry. I just have been alone for so long time now. And I like having people to talk to. I want to get to know all of you. You all took me in when you didn't have to."

I don't know what to say, I am glad she is here now. I want her to know I am going to try to be nicer.

But I am not going to talk about my feelings. That's crazy and I draw the line there.

"I wasn't headed anywhere really. But I had a similar thought as you. Someplace rural. Montana, Wyoming. Then I met up with the group and have been with them ever Since."

There! See I was listening, and I shared. Now let's move on. Please don't make me apologize again.

"They do kinda make you want to stay. Finding good people is rare. So you want to stick with them when you find them" she smiles.
"Yeah"
Did she just call me good people? She must have meant the others.
Then I hear her light laugh and I give her a raised brow.
"It's just a funny sight."
"What".
"Big bad Daryl Dixon helping me pick raspberries. It's quite adorable"
Me? Adorable? She has to be shittin' me
Adorable is definitely not something I have ever been called before, and it makes me feel a blush creep up my neck.

Dixon's DON'T blush.

So I drop my head to conceal it and shrug.
"I will try to talk less, ask less questions"
"No." I say faster than I mean to.

Play it cool Dixon.

"It's not that I don't like you talking, it's that I don't like talking about myself." Aint that the god's truth….
"I understand. You will notice I usually keep the conversation light. The people who knew my story, or I could tell it to are gone now. Silence feels safer." "

Yeah it does"

"But it makes for a lonely time. Nothing but those memories to talk to."

If I had a way with words, that's how I would describe how I feel. How she knows that, how she was able to put it into words, I will never know.
And to think she gets it, is exciting and scary as hell all at once.

We don't talk as we walk back to the cabin. But when we stop for a breathe on the top of a knoll, she hands me some of the raspberries she picked.

She doesn't take her eyes off the view, doesn't look at me, doesn't say "here" or "want some", she just holds out her hand to offer them to me.
I look at her hands, scabbed over and still healing and then to her face, though she doesn't look back to me, and take some from her.
My mind goes blank and I feel, even if just for the moment, content.

Raspberries have always been my favorite…

_A/N_

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I am going to be going back and forth between Amber and Daryl. As i am trying to get a feel for Daryl's voice. Please R&R,