Impossible Chapter 2

This is stupid, how can he keep going like this? Can't he see that he's slowly killing himself?

I thought as I heard Donnie try to talk to Raph for the 10th time this morning but like earlier no response what so ever.

I was starting to get worried, first Raphael wouldn't eat then he wouldn't get enough sleep.

Raph why can't you just tell me what's bothering you?

I kept thinking that as I watched Raph get out of his trance as Mikey started talking to him, at first it looked like Raph had forgotten for a moment where he were before he turned his attention to Donnie. That made Mikey frown and get up from his seat and make his way over to me.

"Dude what's up with Raph lately?" Mikey asked me when both Donnie and Raph had walked into Donnie's lab.

"I have no idea Mikey but I would like know" I replayed before I let out a sigh.

Being the oldest out of the four of us could sure be hard sometimes mostly because I felt like I had to know everything about my brothers so I could help them if something was bothering them but I have never been able to do that with Raph. As soon as something was bothering him he just put on that face of his that showed no emotions what so ever while claiming that everything was just fine, I knew better than that. Having my room next to Raph I could often hear him talk to himself in a hushed mumble and the only word I could make out was.

Why?

What did he mean by that?

I could truly never know mostly because he refused to talk to any of us. It pained me to see Raphael like this, I love all my brothers and I don't care if we're not even related by blood. They will forever be my brothers.

My thoughts were soon broken by Mikey as he got up from his seat.

"Time for morning training" He said out loud in his normal cheerful voice, that's what's so unique with Mikey. He always saw the brightness in any situation and he could always make the rest of us smile, even though I admire this talent of his I know that sometimes he makes the wrong jokes at the wrong time.

I just smiled at my younger brother and stood up as well and not to long after that I heard the door to Donnie's lab open followed by Raph telling Donnie that our daily morning training had started.

Normally I would be happy to start training but seeing how Raph looked like I wasn't too keen to let him train, he should go back to bed and get some rest and I knew that if he kept this up Master Splinter would send him back to bed so he could get some well-deserved rest.

"Good morning my sons" I heard Splinter say to both me and Mikey which broke me from my thoughts.

"Morning sensei" Both me and Mikey said back almost in complete sync.

Not too long after that Raph walked into the dojo, his back was slightly hunched forward and he had dark black rings under his eyes and his eyes were blood shot from the lack of sleep. Seeing him like that made my heart sting.

Seeing Raph like that made Splinter sigh, I knew he wanted to send Raphael back to sleep but he also knew how much Raph would protest which would soon turn into bitter anger and he would take it out on the nearest object, in this case the walls. It was no denying that Raph had punched the walls a few times out of anger when he didn't have the training dummy around to take his anger out on. And after every time he had punched the wall he would have a small fracture in his hands and a lot of blood would cover both his hands and the area on the wall he had punched. Every time that happened I saw Donnie rush to his lab to get the first aid kit, Mikey would hide his face behind his hands, I would try and think of a way to stop him and Master Splinter would try to calm Raph down.

We often thought we had no idea why Raph was so angry all the time but deep down I think we all knew, he had so many things resting on his shoulders that he got frustrated over himself which would result in his tantrums. These things would most likely be problems that were bothering him or even normal thoughts or emotions and when he couldn't find the answer to them himself he would push it aside as things that were not important. He has always been too proud to talk about his problems to get help from the rest of us.

When the training ended I heard Master Splinter tell Raph to stay behind, hearing that I knew Mikey would take that as in Raph being in some kind of trouble.

And again I was right it didn't take long before I heard Mikey make a comment that Raph were in trouble which led to Raph growl in a warning tone to our younger brother, Mikey saw the hint and left the dojo faster than both me and Donnie.

"Do you really think he is in trouble Leo?" I heard Donnie ask as he looked at me in concern.

"No I don't, I think Splinter wants to know why he is so tired. You can tell just by looking at him that he haven't slept well for these past few weeks" I told him as I sat down on the couch.

"Good point, I would like to know that as well" Donnie responded before he disappeared into his lab once again.

"Yeah me too" I said out loud to no one.

It didn't take long before the door to the dojo opened and Raph walked out with Master Splinter behind him, saying over and over that he wasn't done yet.

That made Mikey walk over to Raph saying on over and over that he was in trouble but Mikey got no respond from Raph at all. He just passed him and me as he made his way over to his room.

I couldn't just stay quiet, I tried to get his attention as well by telling him over and over that Splinter was still talking to him but nothing. He just walked into his room and slammed the door shut after himself, that made all of us go quiet.

We knew better then to keep this up as it would mostly turn into Raph getting one of his tantrums again and I knew how much that scared Mikey and Donnie. Sure it scared me and Splinter as well but I didn't let it show and neither did our sensei. I had to be in order to calm both Mikey and Donnie down as for Splinter I think he did that just to show that in the end Raph would be just fine.

If he's fine then why won't he talk to us?

I always found myself asking that to myself every time Splinter told us Raph would be fine.

"What's wrong with him?" I suddenly heard Mikey say as he sat down beside me on the couch.

"He's probably just tired Mikey. Let him get some rest and I'm sure he'll be fine" I reassured my youngest brother.

I only got a sigh as a respond from Mikey as he turned to face to TV as he started a game, we had been training for almost 5 hours and even though we were all tired I don't think any of us were as tired as Raph. I thought for sure he would fall asleep during training but like always he pulled through, he might be hot-headed but he sure is the strongest out of the four of us.

"Dinner is here!" I heard Mikey burst out followed by April and Casey walking into our lair with pizza boxes in their hands, they didn't have to bring pizza with them all the time but April said it was her way of saying 'thank you' to us for letting her train ninjitsu for free with such a skilled master.

Mikey raced to the table after telling Donnie, Donnie on the other hand walked over to the table while rubbing one side of his head.

"Mikey you don't have to yell in my ear" He complained as he sat down and that comment made Mikey just laugh at him.

As I got up I decided to see if Raph wanted something to eat as well and if he would still be asleep I would of course let him sleep. How did I know he was asleep? Not so hard to know, like Mikey Raph would sometimes snore and I did hear a faint snoring sound coming from his room. The snoring wasn't as loud as Mikey's but it was loud enough for me to hear it when I had walked past his bedroom door.

"Leo…!" I heard Raph half scream my name before I had a chance to knock on the door, the scream wasn't that loud since none of the others seemed to have heard it.

When I opened the door to see what was wrong all I saw was Raph sitting up in his bed panting for air.

"Raph what's wrong" I asked as I walked over to him.