And wee are back with another chapter! Thank you to Kali. Incarnate for helping me figure out where to start this story. She is rather brilliant when it comes this sort of thing. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter Two- Wizard Say What?
A blinding pain was pounding through my head as soon as I regained some semblance of consciousness. All I could understand was that I was relatively awake and aware of being alive and that the sheep who had tricked me into helping it was pure evil.
I always used to think that I would end up stabbing myself with a pair of knitting needles one of these days and that would be the cause for my unseemly end but, knitting needles were the least of my worries.
Apparently, the sheep population of Hegg had it out for me now. Thirty-three years and you began to feel as if you were safe around them. That was the problem. You let your guard down and then they decided to claim their revenge for all the Haggis you ever decided to enjoy. Maybe that was why the sheep population overtook the people on Hegg.
I groaned and reached for my head, slowly peeling my eyes open at the same time and wincing as a bright light filtered into my eyes. Wait, wasn't it about to rain only a moment ago? And why did the light have a green filter on it?
"Hello there," Someone said and with an unladylike shriek I half jumped, half tried to stand and ended up falling face first back to the ground. I groaned again as I face palmed solid, hard earth, inhaling a mouthful of dirt. Mary mother of God where did the sheep take me? I spat out the dirt with a disgusted look on my face.
I pushed my hands underneath myself and pushed myself up into a halfway sitting position, opening my eyes at the same time to see a rolling green hill underneath me and a man wearing grey robes and a large pointed hat above me. His long white beard swallowed half his face, but I could make out that he was smiling at me before he chortled in amusement.
"Glad you think I am so amusing," I grumbled, rubbing my sore shin which I had somehow bruised. Suddenly there was a bah behind me and I nearly jumped three feet in the air, shrieking again. "Gah!" I exclaimed, making a disgusted face. "Leave me alone yah wee bastard," I told the sheep pointedly and it only continued to chew on some grass caught between its teeth.
"Well, what a fortuitous surprise," The bearded man said, leaning on a knurled staff before he offered me a hand. "Allow me to help you to your feet," He said, and I eyed his hand mistrustfully for a moment before accepting the help. "Now, what is a darrowdam doing so far from Ered Luin without an escort? You cannot be one of the company," The man said, and I frowned at him in confusion.
"I have no idea what you mean about a mountain or a company. There are no mountains on Hegg. Not even a little mountain," I told him as I brushed the grass off my cloak and my leggings.
"Well, my lady, this is most unusual. I am Gandalf, Gandalf the Grey," The old man introduced himself and my mouth spoke before I realized what I was saying.
"The wizard?" I asked before frowning more deeply. Daa had mentioned a Gandalf once or twice. He always called him a meddling old coot, but I didn't think I should mention the last part.
"You have heard of me then," Gandalf said with a curious look, and I nodded.
"My father made mention of you," I explained to Gandalf. "Come to think of it, he made mention of Ered Luin as well. He said the people of Erebor, of Durin's line had taken refuge in Ered Luin after Erebor was sieged," I said before shaking my head. "Those were only tales of his past and fanciful stories though. There are no such things as dragons or wizards."
"No such things as dragons and wizards?" The man, Gandalf asked thundering. "What have they been teaching you?" He asked and I looked up at him nonplused.
"Practical things," I answered him before shaking my head.
"From where do you hail and what do they call you?" The man asked me with a curious look, studying me, one wizened brow raised.
"My name is Adaira daughter of Frerin and I hail from Hegg. I would rather like to get back to Hegg as well if you don't mind. I have had enough hallucinations for one day," I told the old man which my brain had invented. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, how hard did I hit my head?" I asked, hoping that I was just hallucinating all of this.
"I assure you that this is no mere hallucination Adaira, daughter of Ferin. I am very much real, and you are very much alive and well. I have never heard of this Hegg of which you speak. You are in Hobbiton, the home of the Hobbits in the middle of the Shire," Gandalf told me as I looked up at him. He was either a very tall man or I had shrunk more than a few inches.
"Riiiiggghhhht, that is exactly what a hallucination would say. Nope, I probably hit my head and now I am being slowly devoured by sheep," I told the old man, nodding to myself.
"Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves!" Gandalf exclaimed. "I have half a mind to leave you here, but I will not. Thorin would never forgive me if I did. Come," The wizard told me, gesturing me forward.
"Thorin…Thorin Oakenshield?" I asked Gandalf as he forced marched me through the rolling hills which had doors and windows set into the hillsides.
"The very same. At least you know of the names I speak if nothing else," Gandalf grumbled under his breath as he caught the eye of several people. They were shorter than even me and their feet were large and covered in as much curly hair as their heads. He nodded at them with a pleasant smile on his face and they only huffed and turned back to their work.
"Awkward," I sing-songed, looking at Gandalf with a side ways look and he grumbled even more into his beard. "So, uh, where are we going, exactly?" I asked the man and he didn't even spare me a glance.
"To the home of Bilbo Baggins. I have need of him if my venture is to succeed," Gandalf told me, and I nodded in understanding.
"Right a venture. Makes since. Nope…actually it doesn't," I told him, and he glared at me for a moment. I ignored him then and took in the scenery.
The green grass covered the rolling hills which were littered with blooming flowers and herbs. Everywhere I looked there were gardens filled with fresh vegetables, tomatoes larger than my hand falling from their vines. The doors were all painted bright colors and it looked very cheerful.
The sun shone brightly over my head and it warmed my hair and skin. Before long I grew hot under my woolen cloak and I swept it off of my shoulders and folded it under my arm with my book. I looked up and smiled as I felt the warm sunlight bask on my face.
"You act as if you have never seen the sun," Gandalf remarked, and I turned back and grinned at him.
"I rarely ever do. All it ever does is rain on Hegg. I'll take it while it lasts, even if this is just a hallucination," I told Gandalf and he smiled slightly at my optimism.
Before long we mounted the largest hill in Hobbiton. The door at the top of the hill was large, round, and painted a bright green. A golden door knob was in the center of the door.
Sitting on a bench outside of the house, surrounded by wild flowers, vines, and shrubs, was a man, smoking a long pipe. He was wearing light brown breeches and a white button-down shirt rolled up to the elbows under a golden colored waistcoat which was richly embroidered and a light blue cravat.
The smoke ring which he had just blown out collapsed and became a smoke moth. The moth flew in his face, waking the man from his reverie as Gandalf and I came to a stop in front of him before the moth flew over to me and landed on my nose before it whisped away in the slight breeze. The man looked up in surprise and spotted Gaandalf and me.
"Good morning," The man said, and Gandalf leaned on his staff, eyeing the man with a quizzical look.
"What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning, or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or, perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?" Gandalf asked the poor man in naught but riddles.
"All of them at once, I suppose," The man answered, looking slightly confused and bewildered and Gandalf looked slightly disapprovingly at him.
"Can I help you?" The man asked Gandalf in confusion.
"That remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure," Gandalf told him and suddenly he looked shocked and harried.
"An adventure? Now, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner, hm, mm" Bilbo told Gandalf, getting up from his bench and checking his mail. He grabbed what was in the mail box, sorting through it and clucking to himself, his pipe still hanging by his teeth. He looked quite uncomfortable because Gandalf was still standing there. Puffing his pipe in vexation, he began heading back inside his house.
"Good morning," The odd little man finally threw out to Gandalf, not noticing me as I was mostly concealed behind the wizard.
"To think that I should have lived to be good morninged by Belladonna Took's son, as if I were selling buttons at the door," Gandalf called out to the man tetchily and I looked at him side long an oohed at his comeback. He shot me a dark look and I made a move of zipping my lips and throwing away the key.
"Beg your pardon?" The man called out in surprise, stopping with his hand on the door and turning back to the wizard.
"You've changed, and not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins," Gandalf told him, finally naming the man and I pointed between Gandalf and Bilbo in turn, remembering them for my future hallucinations.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" The man, Bilbo asked with a frown of confusion on his face.
"Well, you know my name, although you don't remember I belong to it. I'm Gandalf! And Gandalf means … me," The wizard said, searching around for a word before settling on me and I had my shit eating grin behind my hand.
"Gandalf...not Gandalf, the wandering Wizard, who made such excellent fireworks! Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve. Ha, ha! Well. Hmm, I had no idea you were still in business," Bilbo said rather hurriedly as he looked over the wizard as if appraising him.
"And where else should I be?" Gandalf asked Bilbo tetchily.
"Ha, ha! Hm, hmm..." Bilbo hummed while puffing confusedly on his pipe.
"Well, I'm pleased to find you remember something about me, even if it's only my fireworks. Well that's decided. It will be very good for you, and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others," Gandalf said as if deciding something, nodding his head in agreement with his own thoughts.
"Inform the who? What? No. No. No! Wait. We do not want any adventures here, thank you. Not today, not mm. I suggest you try over the Hill or across the Water. Good morning," Bilbo called out over his shoulder in frustration as he retreated into his home, gesturing at Gandalf with his pipe.
Gandalf walked forward up through the gate and to the door and I watched in curiosity as he seemed to draw a symbol on the door. It seemed as if he saw Bilbo through the side window before Gandalf hurried away, coming back to the gate where I was still standing.
"Well my dear. I hadn't planned on your arrival, but it is neither here nor there. I have much to do and very little time. It is settled. You shall stay here with Master Baggins until the company and I arrive. Master Baggins is rather respectable and just the sort who I trust to care for a darrowdam," Gandalf said, and I pointed at myself.
"Ugh me? Stay here?" I asked Gandalf, pointing to the door where Bilbo had just retreated through.
"Yes, stay here. I shall return tonight," Gandalf told me before hurrying away the way he came.
"Right," I said, turning to the door, before turning back to the wizard only to find him gone. "Great, I trade one hallucination for another," I groaned before I turned to the green painted door. I opened the little white painted gate and made my way up to the door. I knocked on it three times and waited patiently. It took several long minutes, but the door finally opened and the man, Bilbo looked out at me almost hesitantly.
"Good morning," Bilbo said, and I smiled at that.
"You do say that quite a bit," I said to myself before turning on my brightest smile. Hiiii!" I told Bilbo, grinning as I waved at him. "Sorry to bother you. Gandalf kind of up and left me and well, since this is my hallucination…," I told Bilbo with a shrug.
"Have you hit your head?" Bilbo asked me, staring at me in confusion.
"Yes, yes I have," I answered him, pointing to my messed-up braid. "The sheep tripped me," I told him, and Bilbo sighed before he stood to the side and opened to door further.
"Well then miss, you had best come in," Bilbo told me, and I walked into his home. "I just put the kettle on. Would you care for some tea?" Bilbo asked me as he closed the door behind me.
"You know, I think that is exactly what I need right now," I told the shorter man as I hung my cloak up on one of the little pegs hanging in the hallway, slipping my book into the inside pocket.
"Bilbo Baggins of Bag End," Bilbo introduced himself as he held out a hand to me.
"Adaira daughter of Frerin at your service," I told Bilbo, shaking his hand, a big smile on my face. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.