Read and review...

Chapter 2: A blonde, a brunette and torn blankets

At Naruto's crappy apartment

Chirping birds which always seem to like annoying sleeping people who are lazy.

This morning, Naruto fell victim to the chirping sound and got up sleepily, before falling off the bed with an "Ouch". He checked his clock which was hanging on the shabby wall of his tiny apartment. It read 6 a.m.

The blonde lazily got out a cup of instant ramen from under his bed and went to the bathroom with a kettle. He turned on the tap of the shower and poured some into the kettle. He went back to his only other room (Yes, Naruto's crappy apartment only has one room and a bathroom.) and stuck the plug of the kettle into the only energy source apart from the light bulb hanging on a line up on the cracked ceiling. He yawned loudly and soon the kettle started to whistle, signaling that the water was ready. He pulled back the paper between him and his meal and poured some water into the cup. The ramen-addicted boy waited for an agonizing three minutes and then started to eat his most favorite food in the world. After he finished all of it, he disposed of the rubbish (Which was to the back of his bed.) and then checked the clock again. It read 6 a.m.

"That's strange." muttered Naruto, "Last time I checked it was…" a look which rivaled Kakashi's when he saw his book over the cooking pot of Doom through the TV of Doom appeared on the dope's face when he realized what had happened. The clock had stopped working .

"Crap! I'll be late for the meeting!" cried Naruto as he flopped down on his stomach and grabbed his orange jumpsuit from under his bed (Naruto doesn't have a cupboard so he stuffs most of his things under his bed, including an infamous yellow book which has an R on the back and some blood on the pages which were caused by the nosebleeds of a growing boy.) and pulled it on, zipping it up. He tied his forehead protector around his head carelessly (he'll regret that later.) and dashed out of his door grabbing his kunai holster in the process. He locked his door and almost flew towards the direction of the north gate.

In the streets of Konoha

Tenten was bored, she was bored of watching Lee punching logs, bored of Neji ignoring her and bored of Gai-sensei's talks of youth. So the weapon specialist sneaked away from the training ground and went for a walk 30 minutes ago. Now she is in the street wandering around aimlessly, still so bored that she considered going back to listen to her sensei's endless crap. She was about to head back towards the training ground to her doom when she caught a whiff of sweet scent. But before she could identify the source of the nice smell an orange blur knocked into her at high speed, sending them both tumbling down a small alleyway. Luckily for them, there were some fluffy blankets stacked in the space so the two landed onto the blankets unharmed.

But unfortunately, for them they got tangled into the blankets and after struggling for a while, the female finally broke free and tumbled onto the ground. Tenten looked at the boy still stuck inside the torn blankets (the reason they were dumped in the alleyway in the first place). His head was still stuck inside the blankets so she couldn't see his face but the orange jumpsuit seemed oddly familiar.

"Naruto? Is that you?" asked the weapon girl.

"Yes, it's me." said Naruto still struggling to get out from the pile if sheets which imprisoned him.

Tenten sighed. 'Still as stupid as ever. And sexy too… Huh? Where did the hell did that come from?' she shook her head blushing trying to rid her mind of a sudden image of Naruto grabbing her forcefully, pushing her onto a bed and… she hit herself on the head with a big pink rubber hammer to stop her mind from going further in her sudden perverted thoughts. She took out a kunai and started hacking at the blanket that Naruto was entangled in. A few seconds later Naruto was freed and sitting on the floor. "What were you thinking running so fast?" she asked still a bit red in the face crossing her arms standing over Naruto 'Darn, I've been around Neji too much, I think he is starting to rub off on me...wish Naruto would start rubbing me though...Ahh!!! stop thinking about stuff like that!!!" she thought cringing in an effort to not think about Naruto, which was hard considering she did like him in a way since he beat Neji in the Chuunin exams way back.

"Sorry, I was late for a meeting with my tea…" he said standing up but couldn't finish because his leg snagged the huge pile of blankets and he fell on to Tenten, pushing her to the ground and dragging a huge pile of mangled blankets on to the two of them. Tenten groaned at the sudden weight placed on her.

"Get off me Naruto!" yelled Tenten angrily but inside her heart was racing 'A boy's on top of me, and he's so cute! I want to kiss that cute face…' . She breathed in the sweet smell of Naruto's hair, making her slightly lightheaded, but before she could form some kind of plan girls do when in a situation where a cute guy you is on top of you with his body pressed into you, Naruto started squirming, trying to get the blankets off him and Tenten.

He tried to hoist himself on his elbows, but only succeeded in grinding his body against Tenten. Tenten blushed at the sudden feeling of Naruto's well-toned body grinding against her made, and a loud moan escaped her mouth when Naruto's leg rubbed against a very sensitive area. She unconsciously started rubbing herself against Naruto, moans of pleasure coming out of her mouth, her body suddenly begging for more contact. 'Naruto is so warm…huh? Warm? He is NOT warm, but so warm...ahhhhh! I'm getting horny over a blonde idiot! I don't even love him!' she thought, but stopped when Naruto's soft cheek brushed against hers, making her blush. "Oh crap… I think I'm gonna fall in love …"

Naruto heard the moaning the turned-on girl was making and moved even quicker while blushing because Tenten's sweet voice and the feeling of her body rubbing against him was turning him on and he needed to get to the north gate as soon as possible or Sakura will literally try to kill him for being late like Kakashi. But unfortunately for him, the faster he moved, trying to shift the blankets of the two of them, the more pleasure Tenten received, making her moan even louder. She thought if she should tell Naruto to stop moving and try to plan something when she caught another dose of that nice smell when her face was pressed into Naruto's shoulder when he managed to bend up a little. The smell seemed to enhance her senses and make her hormones go haywire.

She finally gave in to the extreme pleasure she was experiencing at the moment and stopped trying to think on how to get Naruto off her, instead she was thinking about how to make Naruto forget about wherever he was going to go to and how to 'invite' him to go with her instead. She giggled madly while blushing a deep shade of red as the perverted part of her mind sent her VERY perverted images of Naruto doing so many naughty things to her which would make any non-gay guy kill their own family to be a certain blonde demon container.

Naruto was panicking. Not only was he stuck under a huge pile of blankets down a narrow alleyway alone with a girl, he was becoming more late by the second and for every extra second he was late, the chances of being murdered by an enraged Sakura increased dramatically. He stopped moving and closed his eyes, trying to focus his mind (which was made very hard for him at the moment because Tenten automaticly whined at the sudden stop of movement and mumbled stuff like "more" and "don't stop moving" which was distracting him greatly.) His thoughts wandered off to how cute Tenten was, and how soft her big mounds pressing against his chest were.

'Ahhhhh crap! I'm starting to think like Ero-sennin and Kakashi-sensei! Must focus... focus… Focus…" he thought trying his best to control his hand which was inching slowly towards the girl's chest. A large cage with a seal appeared in his mind.

"Focus on what kit? On getting out or on getting your hands on the girls' breasts." came the voice of Kyuubi, who was woken up by Naruto's loud thoughts.

"On her brea…. I mean on getting off her of course. I'm going to be late for the meeting and Sakura-chan will kill me for that." he said to the fox through the bars of its cage.

"But your already late anyway, it makes no difference if you turn up even later because you'll get beat up by Pinky anyway. So why not have some fun first, oh come on, its not like you don't want it, and by the looks of it the slut likes it too , because she just muttered that you shouldn't leave stuff half done."

"Don't call her a slut, she's called Tenten! She's too cute and nice to be a slut, hear that you oversized fur ball!" he shouted at the fox through the bars of the large cage.

"You must like the girl a lot to stand up to the great nine-tailed demon Kyuubi for her. Interesting… seems that you finally have gave up on Pinky and moved on" said the Kyuubi.

"Shut up you football! I don't like Tenten! I might like her but I still don't like her!" Naruto blabbered blushing red like a tomato. "And who says I don't like Sakura-chan anymore?" he asked.

The fox sweat dropped. 'He just called me a football and then he said that he likes that Tenten but he doesn't like her in the same sentence… Are my language skills getting rusty or is it his stupidity and bad grammar… What has Iruka been teaching him those many years…tut,tut..." he wondered for a moment and decided to answer his question. "Well, when I insulted the girl called Tenten, you started shouting at me, but when I called that poor excuse of a kunoichi Pinky, you didn't react at all."

'Oh' thought, "who DO I like, Tenten-chan of Sakura-chan? And why is Tenten-chan rubbing her face against me? So smooth and soft…?" he blushed even redder (His face has been red for some time now.) as he realized that the girl was rubbing her cheek against his, mumbling that his cheek was nice and soft.

"Ahah! Tenten-CHAN now are we? Just be a man and ask her out, but get this stuff off first, you can't do anything exciting in this position, you won't get good entry! But come to think of it, why does this girl suddenly seem to like you so much, I know that she and the other girls usually don't talk to you often, but now that I think about it, those girls did seem to stare at you from time to time..." he said, then a sudden thought hit his head 'I wonder if this has to do with that…mmm…maybe, but I'll need to make sure… if it is, things will get interesting.'

"What are you talking about, are the Chuunin exams starting soon? What do they have to do with getting off Tenten-chan? And I'm always popular! Even more than you!" shouted Naruto pointing at the fox demon.

"Oh never mind, just hurry up and get off the girl. You'll need to get to the meeting soon or you might miss it. You're meeting your temporary teacher whose going to accompany you to your new mission remember? You still don't know any details apart from the fact that you'll go to the sand"

"Oh yeah, that reminds me of why I'm here. I need you to help me to open the first chakra gate." said Naruto.

"Why?" asked the fox curiously. "I taught you how to do it and you could open up to the sixth gate by now by yourself, so why ask me to do it for you lazy bum?"

"I'm not lazy!" yelled Naruto, "I'm just too distracted to do it right now ok?" he said blushing. "Fine, fine… but you owe me a favor." grumbled the fox as he concentrated.

Tenten had noticed that Naruto seemed to have started to think of something because he hadn't moved for almost a full ten minutes. She stopped rubbing her cheek against his (she kept doing it because it felt so good but now her neck was sore...) and looked at his face. 'So cute…' she thought,

'I wonder if he'll mind if I …' she started edging her lips closer to his face, while her heart rate increased the closer she got. But before her lips made contact, Naruto opened his eyes, a large amount of chakra suddenly flowing through his body. Tenten realized that he had opened his chakra gate because she had seen Lee practice it everyday in the training grounds while Neji sat in a corner and meditated. Naruto focused the chakra on his hands and legs and pushed hard onto ground, sending the huge pile of blanket flying upwards a few feet off him, landing with a flump behind him.

"Yes! Finally got it off!" he said happily. But then he froze when he saw the tears forming in Tenten's eyes.

"Am I just so ugly and fat that you want to get away from me as fast as you can?" she squeaked as she started to sob.

"No!" said Naruto quickly as he started to panic, he couldn't handle crying girls, he'd get too soft and promise anything. The last time Sakura did it and managed to make him promise to make him try to find out what Sasuke likes. He shuddered at the memory.

Flashback

He had followed Sasuke around for a week after missions, asking what he liked. In the end Sasuke asked him if he was gay in front of Lee and Ino (who were helping Trunade and Shizune carry some paperwork to the Hokage's office.). Ino dropped the papers at once and ran off to tell Sasuke's fan girls that Naruto was trying to steal Sasuke, Lee too had dropped his papers and started running around in circles screaming that Sasuke had brain damage and couldn't pick apart Naruto and Gai (He misheard 'Gay' for 'Gai') and ended up tripping over Topton and hit a lamp post, blacking out. Shizune started picking up the paperwork grumbling about irresponsible kids and Trunade ran towards Naruto grabbed him by the collar of his orange jumpsuit and dragged him to the hospital to check his sexuality with a special test that consisted of showing him pages of adult magazines and reading out parts of Icha Icha Paradise to him to see how he reacted.

After passing out with severe blood loss, Trunade had confirmed that he was not gay and Shizune carried him back home giggling. He had to evade half of the female teens in the village for a month until Trunade took pity in him and told them about the test (skipping the parts about what it included). After the girls thought their Sasuke-kun wasn't endangered by Naruto, they stopped hunting him and left him alone.

End flashback

He didn't want to experience something like that ever again so he needed to be careful, but Tenten's teary face was melting his barrier of will like fire to ice.

"But… (sob), but you even opened a … (sob), a chakra gate to get away Fr… (sob) , from me…" she said through soft sobs, her eyes full of tears thratening to burst out at any moment.

"N-no," stuttered Naruto, seeing her crying made him feel bad. "I wanted to get off you quickly so I won't squash your beautiful body, and your so cute, not ugly at all." said Naruto quickly, trying to cheer her up before he did any other stupid things.

"Really?" asked Tenten, looking at Naruto with watery eyes.

"Of course!" said Naruto hurriedly. "In fact, since you're so cute, I'll treat you to some ice-cream tomorrow evening, Tenten-chan." he said the first idea of how to cheer her up that came to his mind.

"YAY!" Tenten suddenly cried, flinging her arms around Naruto's neck, pulling him into a tight hug, her attitude doing a 180 degree turn.

"I love ice-cream! Thank you so much Naruto-kun!" she kissed him on the cheek happily, making Naruto blush. A second later she realized what she had just done and blushed too. She quickly released her hold on his neck and ran away quickly, shouting "See you tomorrow at the ice-cream stand, Naruto-kun!" back at him.

Naruto touched the spot Tenten kissed, dazed. Then he remembered about the meeting at the north gate and started to hurry towards it. But he hadn't gone two paces when he heard Sakura shout "Oi! Naruto!" He stopped running to see Sakura running towards him.

"Oh hi Sakura-chan!" he said, "I was just he..." (Bonk) Sakura has just reached him and had hit him on the head hard with the same pink rubber hammer Tenten used earlier.

"Why were you late you baka!" She yelled, chucking the rubber hammer aside and hooking her arm around Naruto's neck, trying to strangle him. "When you weren't there after an hour we thought something had happened to you and split up to find you! And now I find you perfectly okay and …hey, you smell nice…" she commented stopping her attempt of murder when a nice smell which reminded her of fresh flowers caught her nose, she breathed it in deeply, enjoying the scent. Then she realized that she had her face VERY close to Naruto's, way too close. She immediately let go of him, a blush creeping up her face.

"You were too late so our temporary sensei postponed the meeting to tomorrow morning at the same place, so don't be late this time or I'll kill you for sure." she walked off quickly. After turning a corner, she stopped and took a deep calming breath, thinking "Why does Naruto seem so mature and sexy today...ahhhhh! Naruto can't be sexy, I mean he's kinda cute, but not that sexy...Noo! I'm going mad!' she started banging her head against a brick wall, shattering it. "Opps... better go before someone finds out..." she muttered before leaving.

Back with Naruto

'Can't believe I'm still alive! This must be my lucky day! First I meet Tenten-chan and get to see her tomorrow, and then Sakura-chan didn't kill me for being late. Yay! I'm going to celebrate with a large bowl of ramen!' he thought happily running to Ichiraku Ramen, failing to notice the blush that was on his teammates face when she left. 'Better not make being late a habit though, I might not be so lucky next time. Then I'll be like Kakashi-sensei.' he thought as he jumped onto the rooftops.

With Kakashi

Kakashi sneezed, spraying spit through his facemask onto the expensive vase he was cleaning on the second floor. At first nothing seemed to happen, but then the vase started glowing a mysterious color. Then a blue genie with a small black beard came out (Much like the one in Aladdin) yawning widely.

"You have summoned the blue genie of the vase. I will grant you three wishes, so speak up, what do you want?" said the genie in a surprisingly girly voice. Without so much as a thought, Kakashi said,

"I wish to know your gender. You know? What are you? Male or female?"

"Both." the genie replied calmly, giggling girlishly at the shocked look on Kakashi's face.

"What do you mean both? What, do you have a (beep) and a (beep) … huh? What the (beep) is with the (beep)ing sound?" he asked no one in particular.

"You're using words that aren't suitable for kids to hear, so I filtered them out with the magic button." he held out a black plastic box with a red button on top. "If you want to say those words, say them in a more formal phrase."

"What the (beep)? I don't know the formal word of sexual organs. Oh (beep) It." he cursed the (beep)ing sound and took out a paper bag and started talking to the girlish genie again.

"Do you mean that you have a…" he pulled out a sausage,

"And a …" he pulled out a jam dounut and continued "…at the same time?"

"Coarse I do, I'm a genie. Genies eat sausages and jam dounuts to live." he pulled out a stack of sausages from his vase and took a bit out of one.

"But what's that got to do with my gender?" asked the genie through a mouth full of sausage, spraying Kakashi with food.

"NO!" shouted Kakashi. "I mean do you have …wait a second." Kakashi stormed off and after exactly one second, dragged a confused Yuki into the room (who was trimming a large plant with a huge pair of scissors just outside).

"I'm asking you if you have this…" he pulled down his pants pointing at a spot below his waist. "…and this…" ignoring Yuki's stares he grabbed the hem of her dress, pulling it up, ripped sway her white knickers and pointed between her legs, "…at the same time?"

"Yes... that a problem?" asked the genie, looking puzzled as Yuki stopped trying to murder Kakashi screaming "Pervert!" to stare at the genie with her mouth open.

Kakashi took the chance to say "I wish you will make Yuki stop trying to kill me" before Yuki could start attacking again him with her rather huge menacing pair of scissors to cut off a certain body part of his, the genie said

"Wish granted." and snapped his fingers (literally). "Ouch, fu(Beep) finger, (beep) …" he stopped cursing when he heard the beeping and looked at Kakashi. Kakashi shrugged, "Someone's got to do this you know." he said holding the box. But then it was knocked out of his hands when Yuki smashed into him, hugging him tightly.

"Kakashi-kun! Why is your d(Beep) (the genie had quickly picked up the box and pressed the button on time) sticking out, do you want me to 'play' with you? I'll do anything for you Kakashi-kun!" she tried to pin him down but Kakashi dodged, pulling his pants back up while shouting "What the (beep) is going on!" to the genie.

"Well…" said the genie calmly, "You wished for Yuki to stop killing you, for that she will have to love you to overcome the urge to kill you, but since I am a genie of love, or rather sex, I got carried away and over did it a bit, so she not only loves you, but also lusts for your body too."

"Then make her not lust for my body then... then! I must save my first time for Anko-chan!" shouted Kakashi while pushing Yuki off him who had successfully pinned him to the floor and started ripping off his clothes and tossing them aside.

"This is your third wish then?" asked the genie, preparing to grant it.

"YES!" shouted Kakashi pushing Yuki's head away from his private area. The genie flicked his fingers this time and Yuki stopped trying to give Kakashi a you-know-what. She suddenly dashed from the room.

"Phew… that was really clo…" he started but didn't continue because Yuki had ran back in, wearing very exposing clothing and dragging a metal chair with chains and all sorts of S&M equipment stacked on top.

She swiftly grabbed Kakashi and chained him to the chair, making it impossible to use jutsu or escape.

"What's going on?" shouted a terrified Kakashi to the genie.

"Well…" said the genie scratching his/her head "They say that love is the most powerful force in the word, I say sexy woman with S&M personalities are the true rulers on this earth, So it seems that I have flipped her switch and created an unstoppable monster..."

He looked at the scene in front of him and was slightly annoyed that no one was listening to his confusing crap.

"Well, my job is done, see you after a hundred years, if you're still alive by then" he vanished back into the vase, chucking some condoms in the direction of Kakashi saying "Have fun, and play safe."

"Wait! Save meeeeee!" he yelled at the vase but no reply came.

Retreating to grab the black box off the floor, Yuki advanced again at Kakashi, drooling as she locked the door as she passed it. Kakashi only had one thought before the wild day continued

'I'm so screwed.'

With Tenten

Tenten sat under her favorite tree in the park, thinking. Why did she get so emotional around Naruto, she didn't even flinch when some guy told her that he thought that she looked and dressed like a pig in a wig before Neji beat the shit out of him. And she just lost control of her emotions and acted like an immature schoolgirl around Naruto because she had a thought that the blonde didn't like her. She even kissed him without a second thought.

She blushed at the memory. Then she remembered something else that made her heart leap. He had called her Tenten-CHAN, does that mean that he has feelings toward her the same way she's been feeling toward the blonde. Maybe she'll figure it out later because she was hungry.

She was about to leave for lunch when Lee popped up, shouted "Tenten!" and ran towards her, only to receive a punch in the face. "What do you want Lee?" asked Tenten sounding annoyed.

"Gai-sensei told me and Neji to find you because you weren't there when sensei remembered about a meeting. So he went there to wait while we find you. Then an hour of trying to find you later sensei comes again and tells me to tell you to meet him somewhere at the north gate tomorrow morning to discuss about a new mission." he said all in one breath.

"Oh ok, see you tomorrow then Lee, bye." was all she said and she vanished at a quick speed, soon she was cooking ramen for lunch at her house thinking 'I wonder what will the mission will be, hope it won't be too long or I'll miss ice-cream with Naruto-kun.'

At the Ichiraku Ramen stand, Naruto was thinking about the similar thing while slurping down ramen, not noticing that the cook's daughter Aryme was drooling at him with hearts in her eyes for some reason.

Read and review...