Cassidy hoped that no one noticed her struggling to walk to her car. Her body was trembling; she had just survived the most emotionally trying week of her life. She had really wanted Adam to be there for her; to hold her while she cried and told him about how it was so beautiful. She wanted to tell him that she wanted to get married in that same chapel.
She wanted to tell him that she wanted to marry him in that chapel. Of course she would have been joking; Adam was only a senior and she a junior in high school. Marriage was definitely just a joke and now with his actions it is an even more laughable idealism. She had her suspicions about Adam and his beautiful lab partner, Katie; he had been acting very strange.
The reality of it was beginning to hit and Cassidy felt very small and very alone. She missed her grandparents terribly and now it felt like she didn't even have Adam. She relied on him entirely too much, but he was the only one who really understood her relationship with her parents. The rest of the Ducks were amazing and great friends but they didn't know what it was like.
Her SUV was at full capacity; Connie had taken the front passenger seat with Julie and Dwayne in the next row and in the back were Averman, Ken and Goldberg in the last place. Cassidy forced a tiny smile as they all greeted her in that soft way someone used when they knew someone was upset and likely to break down at any given moment.
Cassidy pulled out of the Banks' driveway and quickly found the closest store, no one spoke which was wise because Cassidy was listening to her favourite CD and they could all tell she needed her time. She turned off the engine but left the battery running so that she could still listen to the music while she dug around her bag for her wallet.
"Here is the money, Connie you and Julie are in charge. Get whatever you want to okay? Just make sure someone grabs my favourite ice cream, please." She told them quietly.
"You aren't coming?" Ken asked with concern.
"No, I just want to sit here and listen." She acknowledged, resting her head on the steering wheel. Doors were opened and shut and then silence. Slowly she lifted her hand to twist the volume higher. Her body was wracking with sobs and unrestrained screams of anguish in no time. Cassidy jumped and flinched away when a hand touched her shoulder.
"Let it out Cassidy." Dwayne soothed softly. Cassidy undid her seatbelt and climbed onto his lap and allowed him to hold her and rock her back and forth. Dwayne never did like seeing a girl cry, especially not one as beautiful as Cassidy; but he also knew her very well and he could read her eyes. She was in a lot of pain.
"Why didn't you go with the others?" She asked him, her voice was quiet and her breathing loud.
"Because I know you fairly well, and I knew that you didn't want to be alone but you didn't want to break down in front of everyone. I know you feel lost and lonely, but I'm here for you Cassidy; we all are. Even if Adam is a duck and he's been our friend longer; we won't abandon you."
Back at his house; Adam was not receiving any comfort whatsoever from his friends. Charlie had insisted upon sitting in the bathroom while Adam showered and kept flushing the toilet whenever he felt like it to alter the temperatures. True to Charlie's word Adam was stuck in the bathroom with nothing but a towel to cover himself while Charlie timed how long Adam brushed his teeth for.
When they returned to Adams room so that Adam could get dressed, they found Guy, Portman, Fulton and Russ looking through a photo album on the floor in front of Adam's bed.
"Where's Luis?" Charlie asked while Adam started to go through his closet for some clothes; he found that he didn't particularly care about what he wore. He was probably just going to wallow and clean his bedding anyway.
"He had a date." Fulton explained, enraptured by the book they were all looking at.
"What is that?" Charlie asked, looking over their shoulders at the photo album.
"It was under Cake-Eaters bed." Russ stated, looking at Adam for a reaction. He had none; it was like he hadn't even heard them.
"It's like a scrapbook about Cassidy; there are a couple of other albums under the bed. This one has mostly cut outs from ads she was in." Portman continued.
"How long have you been stalking Cassidy, Cake-Eater?" Russ joked getting the first reaction from Adam; his attention for a moment.
"I haven't; her grandmother gave me those before she died and asked me to keep adding to them. That one is her professional album for her work. The other one is all finished, it has pictures of her as a kid. I'm supposed to give them to her when the time is right." Adam explained distantly, pulling a shirt over his head.
"What's in the third book?" Charlie asked, sliding into a sitting position next to Russ.
"It's a scrapbook of us; kind of. It's hard to explain. It has pictures of her now and pictures of us and it's just personal pictures she's either given me or I've taken. Oh and it has newspaper clippings from her donations and stuff. I'll be right back." He told his friends; taking leave to the bathroom to finish getting dressed.
After he had finished dressing he gripped the counter and leaned forward to stare at himself intently in the mirror. He was trying to find the boy he was when he met Cassidy, four years ago. It was when he had been ostracized from the Ducks because he had made Varsity in their freshmen year at Eden Hall. He had been lost and confused and she had been there.
He first met her at a charity event his parents had asked him to attend with them. Adam and Cassidy had always had suspicions that their parents had arranged it all in advance. Adam had been bored out of his mind standing next to his parents while they made nice with the big wigs of Minnesota. He spoke when it called for it but he mostly ignored what was going on around him. He made it clear that he would rather be anywhere else at that moment. In fact he wished to be near a radio or television to catch the hockey game, but that was impossible. He would have to get the score from... someone at school Monday.
"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Squire; how lovely to see you. I trust you remember my wife Jennifer. This is our son Adam; he's just started his first year at Eden Hall. He was actually bumped up from Junior Varsity to Varsity after the first practice with the Riley's son Rick." His father gave his mini monologue that Adam had been hearing off and on all night. The first time it had made him happy; to hear that tone of pride in his father's voice. Now it just felt as though Adam's accomplishments were nothing but a bragging tool his father could use.
"Well then, that's quite an accomplishment Adam, congratulations." Mr. Squire responded though he sounded bored.
"Perhaps Adam would be inclined to meet our daughter, she's a year younger but I do fear that they would both benefit from each other's company. I will not lie; going to these events with my parents proved to be dreadfully boring without any peers." Suggested Mrs. Squire; Adam quirked a brow at this new development.
"Oh, Adam would be delighted to meet your daughter; Cassidy is it? We've heard wonderful things about her." Adam's mother responded for him.
"Oh, now where has that girl gone off to? The last I saw she was dancing with her cousin. Ah, there she is; Cassidy! Darling, over here, we have someone we'd like you to meet." The girl that Mrs. Squire was gesturing to had her back to them and gave no sign that she heard her mother. Her black dress fell just short of scraping along the floor; she wore black strappy heels and in Adam's opinion her hair was borderline dark brown with possible red highlights. Her exposed arms were ivory toned and thin; looking quite fragile.
Mr. Squire wasted no time in approaching the small girl and tapping her on the shoulder. She turned so quickly that Adam was certain something had to have been left behind. They were too far away for him to catch the words but he could tell that Mr. Squire was unhappy and had taken something from the girl, Cassidy.
From afar Cassidy seemed like every other girl his parents had forced him to meet. But as she approached with her father Adam could tell there was something different with her. She did not have that bored aura about her but she did seem anxious to leave. Adam could not remember what kind of charity event it was; but Cassidy did and she cared which was strange amongst young teenagers.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Banks; it's a pleasure to meet you. How are you this evening?" She spoke with an air of sophistication; like she possessed an elder soul. She knew how to give a proper business handshake to Adam's father and greeted his mother with air kisses.
She then turned to face Adam and he was struck momentarily speechless. He had met pretty girls before; he had even met beautiful girls. There was something about her that Adam could never explain; not even to this day. It was easier to just tell people that Cassidy Squire was a beautiful young model; although that was not all she was.
Her lips and eyes entranced Adam for the longest time. Her lips had this natural pout to them; they were full and looked moist and they were light pink; natural looking and curved in the always present hint of a smile. No matter what expression she had on her face there was always a hint of a smile waiting to come out. Then her eyes; they were almond shaped and quite large but not too large. They were framed by thick lashes and outlined in black; when she blinked the lids of her eyes were light silver.
Her eyes themselves had a unique color to them; a pale green with a dark green ring along the outside and near the pupil were dark blue specks. Her ivory cheeks were coloured with rouge and she looked like a doll or an angel with her hair elegantly curling around her face.
She looked much older than thirteen and the way that she acted was more like a twenty year old.
She stuck her hand out to him and gave him a perfect ten smile. She then said: "Cassidy Squire; it's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance."
Adam automatically gripped her hand and was distracted by his mother. With just a look she conveyed a message that he read loud and clear. He turned Cassidy's hand in his grip so that the back of her hand faced Adam. He then brought her hand up and placed a polite kiss to it. Her polite smile then became something genuine.
When Cassidy spoke of this moment with Adam she said that she saw stars; and Adam swore in that moment when he looked into her eyes there were stars shining at him.
He had asked her (taking a hint from the look his father was giving him): "Adam Banks; the pleasure is all mine. Would you like to dance?"
It was all kinds of cheesy and it was obviously rehearsed, but she accepted his invitation much to both their parents delight. Adam led her to the dance floor by the hand and held one hand in his and then placing his hand politely on her waist. It was hardly a minute into the dance when he heard her sigh.
"Is something wrong?" He asked out of courtesy and a bit of curiosity.
"It's silly; I was asked to attend this event on behalf of my grandparents whom are in ill health and were unable to attend themselves. I am jealous of my grandfather before being able to watch the hockey game tonight. Quite rudely I had sneaked my portable radio and had been listening to the game when my parents had called upon me. I will be honest with you, Adam. In my dress right now I have a spare radio and am itching for this dance to be over so that I may hear the rest of the game. It's nothing to do with you, I just love hockey." Cassidy explained and Adam felt his heart sore.
"The Ducks game right?" He asked quietly.
"The one in the same," Cassidy responded with a wicked grin.
"How was it going?" Adam asked, the tone of desperation not quite masked.
"Anaheim was up 2-0 before my father confiscated my radio. If you are not opposed to it we could go sit at one of the tables and listen to the rest of the game. I doubt our parents will intrude." Cassidy suggested.
In that moment Adam had begun to compare Cassidy to an angel, she was truly his saving grace. He was hesitant to even hint it to himself; but the truth was that he could fall in love with this girl in a heartbeat. She was rebellious and an obvious Ducks fan; the fact that she liked hockey at all intrigued him. Not only that but she seemed to be well known and loved her grandparents but had the same type of relationship with her parents that Adam had with his. It was more like a business than a family.
For the rest of the evening they sat close to each other at a table in the corner each with an ear bud imbedded in their ear listening to the last two periods of the hockey game. They spoke when something happened in the game and occasionally they had to scoot closer to another to block the view of the radio from their parents' view.
"My grandfather tapes all the games," began Cassidy during the break between second and third period, "you could come over and watch it if you like."
"That would be amazing; would he mind?" Adam was cool on the outside but on the inside he was ecstatic.
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He's always saying how I never bring any friends over and grandma is saying that it's not healthy for me to only have them for company. She says I'm young and need to be with the young." Adam didn't ask her what she meant, he wanted to but he didn't.
For some reason he felt like the setting was wrong.
She smiled at him and he smiled back and the third period started. The Ducks won the game 4-2. The timing was perfect; just as they put the radio away Adam's parents came to collect him so that he wouldn't be tired at school tomorrow; or more importantly the early morning practice he had with Varsity.
"Um, should I give you my phone number?" Cassidy asked uncertainly. They had somewhat made plans and Adam had considered asking for her number but was equally uncertain. He wasn't sure if she was being polite or genuine. He had smiled at her and allowed her to scribble her phone number on his hand. He didn't miss the smug look on his father's face or the one of excitement on his mother's.
He had thought of Cassidy the rest of the evening.
What had changed from that moment to this? He was still as enamoured with Cassidy in that moment as he was now. Only now he knew he could love her because he did. His parents had wanted him to date her; they loved her. She was beautiful and smart, she had a career if she so chose it; she was polite and well-connected. She knew the proper way to behave and yet she was still fun.
Adam sighed and returned to his room to be with his friends for a while though they could all tell that his mind was not with them but rather with Cassidy and the mistake he had made.
When his friends left Portman had said something to him that made him feel like throwing up because of the sheer truthfulness of the statement.
"Dude, you got off so easy with Cassidy."
It didn't feel like it though.