"Dirty Old Man"
Chapter 2: Masked and Unmasked
Disclaimer: See chapter 1.
A/N: There's 'sort of' a reference to those "This is Sparta" remix vids on youtube. And I think Kaku/Tobi is hott. Seriously. Oh, and for those of you who don't get it, Zu Zu is Tobi's pet name for Zetsu. I find it adorable.
domdomdomdomdomdomdomdomdom (don't you love this divider thing? i say it out loud and laugh)
Tobi bounced into the Artists' Room just as Deidara was about to open the door, carrying a sore assed Sasori on his back. Deidara glared at the masked wonder with one furious blue eye.
"Out of my way, Tobi, un!"
Tobi didn't budge, however. He just stared at Deidara, a finger poking innocently at the general location of his chin.
"Deidara-senpai, can I borrow two dollars? Tobi needs an ice cream and Itachi-san won't share his Fudgsicles!"
Deidara scowled and kicked Tobi away (boot).
"This is madness, un!" (sorry, had to do that)
"But Deidara-senpaaaaaaaai!" Tobi whined. Deidara stalked out into the hallway, Sasori's arms swinging lifelessly, and he whirled to grin at the fallen boy.
"Kakuzu's in there…why don't you ask HIM to buy you some ice cream?" Deidara said. He snorted with laughter and left, planning on blowing up the entire bedroom once he had deposited Sasori in a safe place.
Tobi looked around the room and clapped when he saw Kakuzu sitting on Deidara's bed, blankets bunched up around his thighs, his head in his hands.
"Grandpa Kuzu, can I have two dollars for an ice cream, please?"
Kakuzu made no answer, he just continued to grumble in his hands. Tobi skipped over to the old man, leaned down, and pried Kakuzu's hands away from his face.
"Grandpa Kuzu? Why are you hiding? You don't have to hide, Tobi loves you!"
Kakuzu locked eyes with Tobi's…eyehole…and his remaining hearts flipped. He suddenly wanted to find out what was underneath that mask…and all those clothes…
"Tobi." The masked man cocked his head to the side.
"Yes, Grandpa Kuzu?"
"What's under your clothes?" Kakuzu growled. Tobi laughed.
"Why, Zetsu asked the same question the other day! Silly grandpa, Tobi is under his clothes!"
"Fair enough…" Kakuzu said, this time more softly. He looked up at the boy standing before him, and yanked on Tobi's scarf, pulling him down. With a startled cry, Tobi fell on top of Kakuzu. The missing Falls nin lay back on the bed with Tobi straddling him and gripped the edges of the orange swirled mask.
"I'm showing you my face, it's only fair that I get to see yours."
Tobi giggled.
"Tobi's mask doesn't come off, Grandpa Kuzu! Tobi super glued it on!"
Kakuzu smirked.
"Did you super glue your pants on, too?"
"Hm…" Tobi murmured in deep thought and lifted his ass up so he could tug his pants down.
"Nope! No glue!"
Kakuzu found himself staring fixedly on the front of the boy's crotch, the orange boxers he was wearing were shiny, and Kakuzu longed to touch the fabric to find out if it was as smooth as it looked.
"Tobi," Kakuzu said, licking his lips, finally dropping his hands from Tobi's mask, "what about your shorts?"
The boy uttered a soft 'hm' again and tugged them down his thighs. Kakuzu stared at Tobi's body, the Pine Sol tainted pills working overtime in his bloodstream, flooding his cock with a fresh supply of blood.
"Oh, what do you have down there?" Tobi asked innocently as Kakuzu's erection grew, pressing into Tobi's leg.
"Would you like to find out?" Kakuzu growled. Tobi shook his head vigorously.
"Then take off your clothes."
"Hm…you sound a LOT like Tobi's Zu Zu…but okay!"
Tobi climbed off of Kakuzu, who slid a hand down underneath the blankets, and slid his pants and boxers down, stepping out of them. He next went for his scarf.
"No, leave the scarf," Kakuzu said abruptly. Tobi just laughed and dropped the scarf. Of course, pulling his shirt over his head proved difficult with the long fabric, so he ended up asking Kakuzu for help. The old man did end up taking off Kakuzu's scarf and helping him remove his shirt and the skin tight shirt under that. When Tobi started to take off his gloves, Kakuzu grabbed his hand.
"No, leave those on too."
Kakuzu threw the sexy green scarf back around Tobi's neck and tugged him back down onto him. He longed to touch lips, but he had to satisfy himself with the cold, hard material of Tobi's mask.
"Tobi, are you always a good boy?" Kakuzu asked. Tobi placed his hands on Kakuzu's chest and pushed himself up, wriggling in the older man's lap. The friction on Kakuzu's arousal made him groan.
"Tobi is a bad boy sometimes, Grandpa Kuzu. Do you want Tobi to be a bad boy?"
The masked man ground his body into Kakuzu.
"Oh…hell yes."
"Yay!"
Tobi climbed off of Kakuzu and quickly tugged down his pants and boxers and stepped out of them. He was hard now, and Kakuzu threw off the blankets to reveal his own drug induced erection. Tobi crawled back on top of Kakuzu and hovered over Kakuzu's cock, his ass pressing down on it. Kakuzu grabbed Tobi's hips and squeezed roughly.
The 'bad boy' pressed his body harder down, and Kakuzu gasped.
"Wait, what about…"
"Tobi likes it rough, Tobi's a bad boy!"
Though Tobi did reach behind him and grasp Kakuzu's cock, smearing around the precum at a hasty attempt for lubrication. Then he slammed his body down, the force of it making Kakuzu gasp. Tobi bounced up and down, and Kakuzu groaned and gritted his teeth, helping Tobi move.
"Oh, oh, oh! Oh, Grandpa Kuuuuuuzu!" Tobi moaned, his long scarf rubbing up against Kakuzu's chest, Tobi's gloved fingers tracing along the stitching marking Kakuzu's skin like railroad tracks. Kakuzu hadn't even broken into a proper sweat when the door banged open and an army of miniscule clay raccoons marched in. Kakuzu leaned his head up and his eyes widened.
"Ah…ah…T-Tobi! Stop!"
Tobi didn't stop, however, instead, he circled his hips in a way that made Kakuzu see orange swirly stars. When Kakuzu could see again, he grabbed Tobi's ass and pulled him off of him and got to his feet. The raccoons had reached the bed, and they grinned up at Kakuzu and Tobi, who tugged his scarf up off the floor.
"Oh no! Senpai's Army of Doom Kitties!!" Tobi cried, shielding his mask with his arms. Kakuzu threw the blanket over himself and pushed Tobi in front of him. There was a snicker from the door.
"Don't EVER touch my Danna again, you pedobear, un! KAATSU!"
And the raccoon army AKA Doom Kitties exploded as one, throwing the bed up against the wall and pinning the old man and the masked moron.
"What is going on here?!" a woman's voice screamed from the hallway.
"Kakuzu's high and he's raping everyone, un!"
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah, un! We should kick him out! He got Danna first, and now he's banging Tobi!"
"Oh my God, if Zetsu finds out…"
Konan burst into the room, coughing and waving smoke out of her face. She peered over to the bed, smashed into the wall, and caught the glimpse of a gloved hand and a stitched up leg.
"Kakuzu? And…Tobi? Where is my camera?!" Konan squealed, running off to go find it. Deidara shook his head and slammed the door, hoping that when Kakuzu recovered, he'd murder the little bastard…
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A/N2: Who's next? I dunno. Whoever happens to wander by Kakuzu next. Pein, maybe? It might go something like...this! Cue possible preview:
"What the hell are you doing?" Pein asked angrily as Konan pushed him aside, tearing apart the closet and muttering something about 'rape.'
"Who's getting raped? Is Orochimaru back?"
"Kakuzu's high off of his tainted heart meds and he's raping every guy in sight! I want to get some Yaoi action on camera!"
"Kakuzu...is raping...random men?"
"YES! Where IS my camera?"
"Who's he raping right now?"
"Well, he WAS raping Tobi, but Deidara blew them up, so I"m not sure if they'll continue where they left off, or what..."
"Now THIS I gotta see..." Pein said, and walked off, leaving his Sea Sex magazine behind. Konan found her camera underneath the bed and followed shortly afterwards, cackling with fangirl glee...
Eh? What do you think? Kaku/Pein BWA HA HA HA HA! I can't belive I haven't gotten any flames! Anon reviews ARE allowed, you know?!