Chapter 1 Ever After

Sakura's World

Wrapped in the warm embrace, I can almost forget, but only almost. That insistent pain that I have bared will slowly be the end of me. Months have passed since then, life goes on, yet I'm still here staring out at the same sky. I can still feel your lingering touch, the warmth of your skin against mine. That warm smile has long since faded, but it will forever be held close in my heart.

I walk through the empty halls, remembering a life seemingly ages ago. I stare at the empty room, empty of personal effects, yet the feeling remains. I smile, walking past Rin's old room, still cluttered with junk from her last visit. Fuji-nee visits often now, ever since I took up residence here. I walk down the hall, and something catches my eye, stepping out into the yard I walk towards it. A steel storage shed, one that he had fallen asleep in so many times before.

I feel the tears again, a happy memory that causes so much pain. Rin finds me there crying, holding onto my shuddering body as a cry out.

It's dark when I awaken again. Rin is holding on to me tightly in her sleep, as if by some instinct she tightens her grip. I hold on to her, her light breathing adding to the peaceful atmosphere. She nuzzles against my chest, resting her head in the crook of my shoulder. I close my eyes, willing myself to sleep, to forget for just a while, so I can have that dream again...

He stands with his back to me, pale hair falling down his face. He embraces me without thought, and I hold on to him for dear life.

"Shirou…"

In these small moments, I remember that he is gone, and he begins to fade away. Always with a smile on his face, never questioning, just accepting that his time is up. I fall down to my knees; I know this dream is not real. I can't accept that he is really gone; accepting that fact now would make it all end. I feel the tears starting again, I don't want to feel this, but I don't want to forget…

I open my eyes again, light filters in, I stare out the window, and my body feels so heavy. Tears streaking down my face, when will this pain ever end? But I already know the answer to that.

A happy ending to a story, perhaps that is too much to wish for.

The day finally arrives, the day I have waited for all these long months. I can see him in her eyes, and a small oval face smiles back at me. I feel tears again; Rin is holding my hand gently with an odd look on her face.

A child, yes, the last gift from him, something I will cherish for the rest of my life. It's something he would have wanted, I'm sure of it. And as I stare into those bright eyes, I feel as if he is there with me watching.

Such a fragile form, held in my arms these tears wont stop. A mixture of joy and pain, such sweet rapture and pure agony, I cannot help but weep.

The soft touch of a small hand, a child just born comforts me. I smile, so like his father, so like the man I love with all my heart.

I named her Nadeshiko.

Ten years pass by so quickly, the pain has receded. A dull ache somewhere in my chest; its cold grip still wrapped around my heart.

Hanami, it is that time of year again, I stare out at the dark sky. I kept my promise, even after all these years. A flash of brilliant light in the sky, colours streaking across the night sky.

"You're late sempai; I'm going to be an old lady when you come back."

Fifteen years, I don't know how I have lasted this long. She smiles at me, that goofy grin, everyday she seems to grow even more like her father. Yes, that girl so readily helps others, placing them above herself without complaint.

She has his eyes as well, every time she looks at me I feel like I'm going to melt. Though I am still puzzled as to why her hair turned so brilliantly white. I asked Rin before but she wouldn't say anything, in fact she turned away and refused profusely.

With each passing day I see her grow, and with each passing day I feel myself withering away. I can see it in her eyes as well, she knows I'm not long for this world, I can see the pain in her as well. I have caused her pain, but she bares it admirably. She does not complain, cautious and keen, she is quick to understand the situation. She shows no regret, for which I am glad; a life without regret is something we should all wish for.

Its spring again, Rin has returned for a visit. She seems more tired than before, something in her eyes whenever I see her. Nadeshiko enjoys her time with her; she has a profound interest in her work. I'm still mad at her for telling her she can use mage craft, but I can't stop her now. Not when she looks so much like her father, not when she has inherited so much of him. Even if there is a chance she will set the lawn on fire…again.

Rin brushes her long raven coloured hair out of her face, adjusting the glasses on her pale face. "She is just like him isn't she?" she asks, a small smile on her strained face.

"Yeah she is…so very much like her father, it hurts sometimes." I look up at the cloudless sky. A streak of silver crosses across the endless blue, and I feel tears falling down my face again.

Eighteen years later, I'm at my limit, I held on as long as I could. She looks at me with knowing eyes, holding my hand in hers.

"Mother, I don't want you to go, not now…" there are tears in her eyes, I wipe them away gently.

I stare out the window with unseeing eyes; an auburn haired boy is waving at me, making me feel nostalgic.

"Shirou…"

The world is growing dark, he smiles, trying to keep his promise even now after his own death. Perhaps it was just a faint dream at the end, but that promise was kept.

The fireworks exploded in the sky, and two pale figures sat on a grassy hill. Watching the night sky with glassy eyes,

"Welcome back Shirou..."

"I'm back sakura…"

I smiled, closing my eyes for the last time.

"You kept your promise in the end…"

I rush towards him, his back turned to the sun. Auburn hair turned pale, but still it was him. Such joy I feel, at the end of the world we meet again, and are lost in the embrace.

Maybe this is my happily ever after…that came just a little bit late.

Damn it, I'm seventeen years old and now I'm an emotional wreck, Rin stares back at me with red eyes. She had scolded me profusely after I had tried to summon a shinigami using one of the Matou's old grimoires. I kind of had to agree with her, it was a stupid idea; maybe I will try shamanism next…

As if reading my mind, Rin embraces me warmly, "she won't come back." I feel hot tears spring out of my eyes; I try to hold them back, keeping my voice level.

"You don't know tell you try Aunt Rin, you don't…" I stare into her wounded eyes and feel myself start to cry.

"I'm sorry" I can't say anything else.

I stare up at the ceiling, raising my hand above my head. The gentle sound of rain pattering against glass, the house is completely quiet. A thousand thoughts are running through my head, yet I feel so devoid of thought. An empty shell; like a puppet that has no thoughts; invisible strings tying my exhausted body to the bed. I want to cry, but it's as if my body has forgotten how.

All the power, all the power I hold in my hands can't change anything. This situation has utterly defeated me, never have I been so powerless. It hurts inside, this feeling of hopeless ness. I try to control my raging emotions, the familiar mask covering my face. My mother had always been able to see through my disguise. She said it was in my eyes, and no matter how hard I tried, she could always tell.

I didn't want you to go mom, I didn't want to let you go…maybe I'm selfish, but I wasn't ready to lose you yet. I didn't even get to say good bye, or tell you how much I love you one last time.

I wipe away the tears, my mind made up. Rin is going to be mad at me, but I'm going to use that which I by right have inherited.

The air whips around me, I feel dizzy, as if my brain was a radio and is only picking up static. Somewhere in my addled brain, I continue my careful chanting, words that will bind my will. Intense pain, like fire beneath my skin, I can feel my blood boiling inside. My bones like white hot steel, a skeletal melting pot.

I want to cry out, but bite my cheek, to the point where blood spills out. I cannot break the silence; I cannot break it, not now.

I was once told a story from my mothers past. She told me of my father, a man I have come to idolize. He risked his life to save my mother from herself, sacrificing his life in the end to save them all. As I child I was enamoured by this hero, this hero that was my father.

But as I grew up, I realized just how broken my mother truly was now that he was gone. And then I came to hate him, hate him for what he did to my mother, came to hate the father I once loved. I hated him, because his memory slowly killed her.

Now that she is gone, I have no regrets in my decision. I couldn't stand seeing the pain in her eyes every time she thought no one was looking. He was but distant memories that caused her pain and happiness. A bittersweet emotion I cannot begin to describe. I wanted to give her happiness. Even if I lose myself in the process; and have to face the man I love and hate at the same time.

I feel a soldiery tear fall down my face, it is blown into the raging storm in front of me. Blood swirling around me; a red haze covering my entire vision.

Emiya Shirou, my father, my hero, and my enemy. Even if I erase myself in the process, I will alter the future, by changing the past.

The crimson haze whirls around me, a cyclonic wave of blood and sweat. I can feel the pulsing beat, mana pouring out from my finger tips, feeding the monstrous force in front of me. I'm sorry Rin; I had to borrow one of your jewels. The melted ruby spinned impossibly fast in the center of the room. Slowly growing brighter, it soon became unbearable. Then everything turned black, and I felt the ground rushing up to meet me.

These strings of fate, tied too people they transcend time and space, bringing with them fortune and disaster. Time is not a constant; it flows not in a straight line. Perhaps by some design yet to be known, a greater will forced itself upon this game of chance. Granting the wish of a foolish girl, who bet her all on a dream of the future? Sending her to a moment in time, a crossroad from which a new future could be chosen.

And out of the innumerable possibilities, the right path was chosen, and the right person, chosen to walk along it.

Future World

Light exploded in the dark park, lighting up the empty grassy field with relative ease. Rusted swings swayed in the gentle breeze, not a creature stirred in the momentary light. As if the world was holding its breath, an unexpected, but not unwelcome guest arrived. The leaves rustled, ancient trees swaying in the breeze. But something was wrong; something deviated from the plan she had set in place.

A man stood over her delicate form, his pale hair falling down his face. He wiped it out of his face with one hand, an odd look on his face as he stared down at her. He laughed, pulling out an interesting device. Flipping it on, he pressed a few buttons; a dial tone pierced the silence.

"Hey, it's me, I think I found what we were looking for, a girl who transcends time, that guy from the church was right."

There was silence for awhile, and then the pale haired man smiled. "Don't worry, that man won't be able to stop us, he is a 'hero of justice' after all…"

He laughed coldly, a piercing sound in the night.

A crow cawed loudly, watching with beady red eyes, it turned away, taking flight into the cloudless sky. A full moon was in the sky, and beneath that same sky another awoke with a start.

I stared up at the ceiling, my face plastered with sweat. Seven is sleeping soundly at the foot of the bed. I could feel the sticky liquid coating my entire body, my clothes wrapped around me like a straight-jacket. A tangled mess that effectively pinned me done, a flood of emotion hit me all of a sudden. I struggled against my material bonds and rolled over, landing heavily on the floor.

Pain explodes in my head, I ignore it with ease, and there is no need for me to feel pain. But something is wrong, something is wrong with my head, something is wrong and I have to find out what it is.

One word comes to mind, a name, "Nadeshiko."

I close my eyes, but it won't go away. This feeling, something is terribly wrong, and I can't just let it stay that way. I straighten up, throwing off sticky clothes, I turn on the water. Seven groggily opens her eyes; I step into the shower quickly, revelling in the sobering water.

"Ciel-sama, are we leaving again?"

I stop, the sound of running water pounding in my ears. "Yeah" I respond quietly, "yeah, but I wont be able to do this alone."