A/N: Thank you to all the people who favorited, followed, or reviewed! It really means alot to me guys. ;D Disclaimer: I don't own nothing about Hetalia!
Carving out Courage
Chapter two
There were many dying moments of ear-splitting silence, and Tina didn't know if she was dead or alive, or if the gun had even been triggered yet. She just stood there, eyes tightly closed, readying herself for the blasting of her head. She heard the gunshot once and a weight was taken off her chest along with the quick and deadly noise. Yet she still felt herself breathing. There were no other gunshots after the first one so Tina slowly and hesitantly opened her eyes.
Ivan was no longer in front of her, pressing her down, but was collapsed on the alley floor. She blinked in shock a couple of times and looked around for the other man, panicing. Was the other man a murderer or was he just generously saving her? All of these thoughts swimmed in her mind as she scanned the alleyway for the stranger, finding him to be no where in sight. Tina turned around, satisfied with her surroundings, but screamed, seeing the man right in front of her as she turned around. She fell over from the suprise and covered her head with both arms, as if the stranger were going to beat her.
No threat came...
Tina glanced up at the man in front of her, and saw that he was holding her bag and hat. He offered the objects into her hands.
" You dropped these." He said putting the bag and cap down in her lap. She hesitantly picked herself up and put her hat on her head in the lobsided fashion that she always did, picking up her bag and hugging it in her arms. The stranger, noticing that she was done with her accessorizing, began to slowly walk out of the alley. She, just realizing what thanks she owed to him, waved an arm out in the air.
" W-wait!" Tina called out to the man who was edging out of the squeezed alleyway. He stopped but didn't look back, as if he were listening for what she had to say. She put her hand down immeadiately, akwardly stuttering out words and trying to piece them into an actual sentance.
" I-th-well-s-y-I-I-th-th-thank-y-y-you..." Tina spat out, her words growing quieter and quieter as she spoke. He glanced back at her over his shoulder, his glasses gleaming in the sunlight. She felt uneasy at his emotionless expression and backed up slightly. The stranger turned back to his walking and was about to dissapear behind the corner when Tina called out to him again.
" Umm...Mister, is it okay if I follow you? I don't really know where I am at the moment, and well...I-I..." Her sentance trailed off as she received another stare from the man. She looked down at her toes and inwardly cursed at her rudeness.
When Tina looked up for a response, she saw the stranger give a small nod and turn the corner. Startled at his response for a moment, she just stood in the middle of the alley, dumbly looking at where the man used to be standing. Snapping back into the real world, she sprinted after him, shortly finding him not that far away from the alley.
Tina tagged along behind the stranger, gripping her bag in her hands as the minutes passed by. She occationally glanced up at the stranger to make sure that she was still following him, but instantly jerked her head down at his quiet figure. If there was one thing that made Tina feel uneasy, it was silence. She was one of those people who just had to talk. It was something she had always done eversince she was little when she was afraid.
The sun, still setting breakingly across the horizon, shone and alluminated the streets. The sky was changing into odd shades of purple and gold, before becoming a little more dark. A broken streetlight flickered on and off ocassionally, making the last onces of light that it could from the dimming day. Tina looked up, noticing how late it was. She really hoped to find her way home soon, for she didn't know whether the stranger was leading her closer to her house, or driving her deeper into unfamiliar streets. She frowned at the thought, scanning the area for something she could recognize.
A lonely bench sat on a graffitied sidewalk and right near a blue street sign. An old maple tree hung over the bench from a front yard and allowd the corner to be shrouded in the shadows. Tina glanced around, somewhat feeling that she'd been on that corner before. Then she realized that she had been there. It was the road she always took to catch the bus after going grocerey shopping. Tina put two and two together and then just noticed how far she wandered from her house. She stopped, staring at the bench and then at her wristwatch. The stranger seemed to take notice of her sudden actions and turned to her, sending her a quiet and emotionless ponder.
Tina took note of the silence and slowly turned her head to see the man staring at her behind his gleaming glasses. The orange and violets of the ending day reflected off the cold spectacles that hung meloncholicly over his nose, shading frozen eyes from the pyhsical world. Her heart banged heavilly in her chest as the cold and silent gaze went on. A warm and then freezing feeling flushed over her and she felt the red in her cheeks arise.
" Oh-um-well...this st-top is close to my home, so-uh..., I'll stay here..." Tina muttered loudly, across the road to the man. The setting sun threw golden shine into the cold glass that covered his eyes. He gave one slight of a nod and turned to the streets. Tina had one last glance from the stranger before he dissapeared in the blink of an eye, leaving her standing in the middle of the road. She let out a breath of releasment when he was no longer in sight. Tina walked over to the bench, under the shade of an oak tree, and let her back rest against the seat.
The sun finally set, turning every single speck of daylight into dark lavenders and blacks. Tina was now sitting patiently near the bus stop, under the bright streetlight that loomed overhead. She thought about that day's events. Ivan really went over the edge that time, even though he was already insane on his own. Now, no where was safe and he'd probably go after her again, if he hadn't died in the alley already. Thanks to that stranger, who had mysteriously saved her, she was still a virgin and still had all of her vital oragans intacked.
' Wait! That stranger! I rudely follow him after he saved me, and then didn't even ask for his name to thank him properly! Ugggh! I'm such an idiot!' Tina thought, hugging her bag tighter and tighter as the train of her mind hopelessly ran over the tracks of reality. How she hoped that the man would forgive her someday for being the biggest derp-bag in the world. How she hoped that he would be generous enough to. And, oh, how she hoped that she could redeem herself...somehow and someday...
A screech interupted her train of thought, causing it to take the wrong turn and fall in a mountin crevice. And in the pyhsical world, she was almost in the same position as her metaphorical train, for she jumped at the frightening sound of the bus stopping, and her head crashed into the bus stop sign. Tina rubbed her head, mumbling short, "oww"s as the throbing of her forehead continued.
" You in or out?" The bus driver rudely asked Tina. The girl stood up, remembering that she was waiting for the bus all that time, and walked up the slanted steps. The bus driver woman popped a piece of fruity gum into her mouth, that was covered with peircings, and watched Tina put a dollar in the bus fee box, sitting at the top of the dashboard. The woman closed the entrance and put a foot on the gas. The bus rolled out of the lobsided streets and onto new ones, forcing Tina to fall over once or twice before getting to her seat. But as soon as she finally managed to make it to the bus seats, Tina set herself down almost greatfully onto the leather seats, exhausted from the morning's events...
The bus came to a turn on Bexely and stopped, letting off the few other people who took the night transportation. The only people left in the bus were Tina and the driver as soon as the people were let off. The girl felt lonely the most in her life, which was just merely five minutes, when all of those people stepped off on onto their houses on Bexely. Tina hated to be along and that was another thing that made life so hard for her in the tiny apartment she just managed to afford. In fact, without Feliks and her other friends at school, she would've never got along the far ways she did in life. But of course she was but merely sixteen, so how much farther could she go alone?
" Last stop, kid. Ya in or out?" The bus stopped suddenly on Homington Drive, and Tina lifted her head in realization. She walked up the bus and down the steps to the streets. The bus driver was about to close the doors, when Tina spoke up.
" Um...good-bye. I hope you have a nice day!" Tina said cheerfully, waving a hand at the woman in the bus. The driver looked pissed, closing the doors to the entrance quickly and driving away, leaving black puffs of unbreathable smoke in the girl's face. Tina coughed a couple of times before running up her driveway. She saw a blurred world before her as she silently closed her knobless front door, that she'd attepmted to fix with a roll of duct tape. Her head was tilted slightly onto her aching knees, and a drop of sorrowful tears plopped onto the floor.
' There's a reason why I'm alone now... Aita and isa... They died when I was about five, and after that I was living with Lukas and Mathias. Then, they denied my requet to stay in their house until I finished highschool... and then I guess I was all alone...' Tina said inwardly, making more shimmers of tears slide down her face. She didn't hate them for it, but hated herself for it. Of course they were way to busy to take care of a girl who's just starting highschool. Why would she expect them to feel sympathy for someone who lives off of other's kindness? She didn't know, but considered herself a jerk to them now...
She trudged over to her room, crawling into her bed and putting a wet face into her blankets. She'd missed school that day and it was already really late. And the next day, she had exams to take. Tina looked to her books, that she set hopelessly on the floor. She hadn't studied for her tests one bit that day, and it being nine' o' clock p.m., was too late for bringing out her books. She hadn't eaten anything that day either, and just to make it worse, she'd missed all of her shifts that day at work.
" Oh shoot! Work!" Her face turned blue with the sudden chill of her absence. Tina was now hoping and praying that her boss wouldn't fire her. Her job was one of the only things that allowed her to eat and go to school, and without it-oh, she didn't even want to think about it! She quickly reached for her phone, pulling it into her lap and seeing if she had any missed calls. Sure enough, there was one missed call labled: Work. Tina reluctantly pushed the button to display the message, puttig it to her ear, listening with a sweat bead trickling down her throbbing forehead.
" BEEEEEEEEEEP. Hello? Yes, Tina, you didn't call in sick for work this morning and I'm starting to get a little worried about you? Are you okay? Please answer after the beep...BEEEEEEEP" The phone signaled, leaving Tina with a sigh of releif. Her boss hadn't fired her, but was just concerned of where she was and if she was okay. She picked up the phone, trying to call him back, but realizing he wasn't picking up. So, she hesitanly put down the phone and sighed, leaving a message at the tone.
' I wonder if anyone at school knows that I was missing...' Tina pondered thoughtfully. After many moments of silence, a low groan broke through it. Tina felt the awful sensation in her stomach, remembering that her diet happened to be 0 nutrition that day. So, with a bit of trouble, due to her rumbling stomach, she dragged herself to the kitchen, checking the fridge for anything edible. She stared at the contents of her freezer, almost tempted to lick the ice off the edges. Tina saw that all that was in there, was some moldy icecream, and a sad-looking fishstick stuck to the bottom of the freezer by spilled...barbeque sauce? She blinked twice, closing the freezer and opening the fridge. But all she found there was five boxes of butter and nothing more. She sighed and walked down the apartment, back into her empty room.
She sat there doing nothing, and growing increasingly bothered by her own silence. So her old habits came to her just that once...
" So, Tina...how's the weather?"
" Oh, it's beautiful Tina. I really like the sunset..."
" Did you, now? But I think I'd know because I'm you." Tina finished, hugging her pillow, longing for someone to talk to. She couldn't have felt worse that day. First of all, she was already late for school when she woke up. Second of all, she didn't get to go to school at all because of her landlord trying to rape her like nuts. Third of all, some complete stranger had saved her and she'd been so rude to him. And forth of all, she didn't have any breakfast!
Tina silently spat an insult at herself. She hated who she was, and hoped that she'd become a better person. It seemed like every New Year's day, she made resoloutions for nothing, because she wasn't getting any better at being good. Oh, she hated herself! She hated her short hair that was never cut but never grew. She hated her rudeness to a practical savoir. She hated her clumsiness. Tina really did hate herself, and now wondered why she even deserved to have loving friends like Feliks, Marie, and Alice...
' Why?'
O0..XxX..0O
" OMGs! Like I was like worried sick about you, girl! Like where you?" Feliks said after first classes. Tina looked at him for a second and then back at the ground. Now what could she say? There was nothing to say. All she could do now was stare at the floor.
" But like you dunn'ave to tell me now. I'm just like so relieved that you're not like dead." He said giving her a hug. She sighed. Finally, someone gave her the choice not to tell anyone about her excuse for her absence.
The two continued walking through the hallway, almost making Feliks look straight and not the usual gay he was. But the Polish student had to ruin his straightness, because when he saw his crush, Toris, walking in the hallways, he showed a hand to Tina, telling her to stop walking.
" Hold on. I've gotta take this." Feliks said, going up to Toris in a fashion-model-style kind of walk. But when Toris saw him coming, he ran.
" Wait up! Toris, baby you can't leave me like this!" Feliks screamed, chasing after a frightened puppy that had used to be Toris. Tina just watched them, convinced that she'd just stepped into a soap opera. She waited until the hallways were clear of the two, and calmly walked over to her locker. Tina slipped two world history texbooks into the open locker and closed it, bringing her notebook along with her, so that she could take notes for the next test. She already failed her algebra exam getting a poor D-. She would have to take a makeup test the next week.
During lunch, Tina couldn't help but scarff down the sandwhich she was eating. She was starving from yesterday's events and just had to eat something, even if they were school lunches. Alice watched her in suspicion, slowly handing Tina her sandwhich.
" Want a bite? You act like you just came out of prision." Alice said, giving her the lunch. Tina hesitated for a moment giving the face that said, 'are you sure?'. The British girl nodded and watched as Tina wholey consumed her tuna sandwhich.
The bell rang, leaving every student with a look of woe on their faces. They all dragged their feet through the halls to get to their classes, including Tina, who was the last one out. She attempted to close the lunchroom doors, but ended up crushing her fingers in between the shut doors. She tried not to scream, but couldn't hold it in for long and let the screech burst from her lungs.
O0..XxX..0O
" Oww...Oww...Oww...Oww..." Tina chanted in pace with her throbbing fingers. She rubbed them against her skirt and it stopped the pain for about a moment or two, before the dead heartbeats began again. She moaned lowly, walking down the street and passed her house on Homington. ' Why am I such a dutz?' Tina exclaimed inwardly. Well, it didn't matter anyway. She had to go to work an do an extra hour because of her abscence the day before. Tina picked up her pace, and began to run straight to the grocery store where she worked.
Once she got into the store, Tina hurriedly skipped along her way into the employee-only room, where she instantly saw her boss. He was standing across the room, talking with another worker, when he turned his head and caught sight of Tina, standing in the doorway. The man walked up to her calmly, and soon was standing over her, opening a mouth to speak.
" Tina, yesterday marked the twenty-ninth abscence you've had these three months." He said a little exasperated.
" Oh-I mean-I'm very sorry Mister! It won't-won't happen again!" The girl managed to muster enough words to reply. Her boss gave a deep sigh.
" I really hope so, Tina. Because if these abscences continue, I can't pay you, and I'll have to fire you... It's nothing personal, but I can't keep an employee if they can't work their shifts." He said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She nodded almost sadly, before tying her apron and attending to her work...
O0..XxX..0O
' Welp, Tina... one more slip-up and you...' She couldn't finish the thought... It seemed like too much... This time, at of all the times she messed up, she was really on the edge. Tina couldn''t help but think that if she did lose her job, that she'd be at the mercy of life itself.
' I just wish I could run away!' Tina thought. But she knew that that was impossible..., especially for a little, derpy, confused, Finish girl that she was. She couldn't move because she just simply couldn't afford it, but Tina also knew that she couldn't stay because the situations that she were put in were eating her away with pain... She finally sat down on a bench, not being able to take in her own thoughts anymore. And just when tears were about to form in her eyes, she heard the flapping of a bookpage beside her. Tina turned to her right to see the man that had 'killed' Ivan sitting beside her with a thick book in his hand.
Tina let out a scream, startled by him greatly. She fell off the bench by her own shreek, knees quaking against the ground. The stranger looked to her, getting up from the parkbench and putting his book into a toolbox that was set beside him. He was beginning to walk away, when Tina stood up, realizing her rude reaction.
" Don't go. I-I-I um...want to th-thank you." She said halfly stuttering. He stopped and turned to face her, his emotionless eyes finally visible behind his glasses... They were briliant blue sapphires and Tina felt hopeless under their gaze. Those precious stones that most people called eyes, were emotionlessly fixed on her but moving... like the ocean...
" I-uh... Thank you for...saving me the other day...g-uh..." The Finish girl mumbled in the loud way that she did. She tapped her front fingers together, wondering if the man was still there. It was so quiet... She looked up from her fingers after awhile to see that he was still standing where he was. He turned to her, as if she had his full attention. 'What else is there to say?' Tina thought franticly, feeling the temperature in her cheeks rise and sweat appear all over her face. She stood there for a moment or two muttering short conversation starters but ending them as soon as they came from her mouth.
" Oh-um...I don't think you know my name...Well, uhh... my name is Tina Vainamoinen! Wh-what's your name?" Tina akwardly spat out, not sure if she should expect an answer.
" Hm. Berwald." The man said, suprising Tina at the sudden response. Her heart skipped a beat as she received another cold but emotionless stare form her savior. The man returned to his bench and sat down, making Tina realize why he had got up. Her screaming probably made him feel like he was making her uneasy.' Your second encounter with him, you make him feel unwanted?' She slapped a hand on her forehead in annoyance, coincendently right after he turned the page of his book. Berwald set the book aside, taking her actions the wrong way.
Tina opened her eyes, noticing what he thought her action meant. ' Oh, shoot! He must have taken it as a ' will you ever stop reading'.' Tina realized after he set his book aside.
" No! No! No-I-didn't-mean-well-no! Please keep reading-I-I-I..." Tina rambled, causing an invisible question mark to appear over Berwald's head, but emotion still avoided his expression. ' Tina honestly! Uggh! I hate you!' She thought, shaking her head hard, but soon regretted the action, because when she opened her eyes, she saw a mirrored and shaking world before her. Tina swayed forward from dizziness and tried to recover, finding herself sitting hopelessly on the bench beside the man.
Minutes of silence passed by and Tina's vision became clear again. She sat there, stupidly for another moment before realizing the time. Tina stood up, turning to the man beside her.
" Well-um...I gotta get going now. So..., good-bye B-Berwald." Her lips couldn't help but quiver when speaking his name. His name was different somehow... Somehow it made a warm feeling wash over her and make her cheeks turn a soft pink. That name...that name was almost as mysterious as the silent oceans in his icy blue eyes. Tina glanced at him one, last time before running down the street in the direction of her house.
Tina closed the door to her apartment on Homington, her face as tired as ever. She wondered why she was always tired when coming home. She wondered why there was always a new problem with her, something bothering her... She let out a sigh and trudged over to her room, where she forceably fell into the dirtied and ruffled sheets of her bed. She fell asleep shortly after that, only having one thought in her mind.
' Berwald... I'll remember it...'
