"Oh...Charles...oh...God...yes...oh..."
"Elsie...oh," he growled low in her ears, he felt completely out of control and had no desire or will to stop it. "God..you're so beautiful. I..I've," he kissed her harder, groped her body, kissed her chin, her neck. Elsie leaned back, his hand supporting her as she exposed her neck and chest to him. "Oh..so...beautiful...I want you...Elsie...God...I want you so bad..."
They eventually moved to the living room, back to the sofa and Elsie straddled him as they kissed, Charles was on top of her and they kissed, they rolled off the sofa and onto the floor which resulted in hysterics until they started kissing again. They kissed until they were both light headed then pulled away slightly, both astonished by what they'd done.
They shuffled apart then leaned against the sofa on the floor. To have something to do, Elsie made a move for the wine bottle on the coffee table. Charles grabbed her arm, stopping her, "Elsie?" He shook his head and took the bottle from her. Her confused look made him smile, gave him strength to continue. He turned to her, gave her a gorgeous half smile, "If this night is going to go any further, I want us both to be completely clear headed." She looked down shyly, smiling and nodded. He placed his finger under her chin, making her look up to him, "I want us to know what we're getting into."
Elsie licked her lips seductively and stroked his cheek, "What exactly are we getting into Mr. Carson?" She teased, biting his bottom lip gently.
Charles' eyes were dark with desire. "You're a married woman Elsie, you tell me.."
At that she moved away. Tears started to fill her eyes. She looked at the lofty ceiling in the living room, willing the emotion to stay at bay.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, regretfully.
She reached for his hand without looking at him, "No...I'm sorry."
"Elsie. I don't want to you to do something you'll regret. I know you love Joe."
"That's just it...I don't love Joe." She laughed and wiped at her now running nose, "I haven't, for a long time, nor does he love me."
Stunned, Charles sat up a little more, "What? Are you serious?"
She glanced to him. He was so sweet, so lovely, so naive, she thought. He had been around them, in casual settings, over the years and never noticed the distance between her and Joe. Elsie and her husband of 35 years rarely spoke to each other and when they did it was only occasionally kind, "We've grown apart Charles."
"Well...why? I mean," he glanced around. "You've built a great life together...you've built this amazing house and...well...you...have," his voice tapered off.
"Yeah...what have we got? A lot of stuff," she too glanced around and waved her arms up in the air. "We've got a lot of shit together and not an ounce of love or respect for one another."
Charles sat quiet for a moment. "How have I been so blind?" he thought. "Oh Elsie...I'm sorry..I didn't realize."
She took his hand and brought it to her lap, "It's alright. You've been caught up in a great life yourself and had no reason to notice mine."
"A great life," he scoffed. "I've been miserable Elsie. I would never leave Alice. I just never would've done that but I wouldn't say it's been great." He smoothed his hand atop her thigh.
"What about your boys Charles?" Her brow is furrowed, her tone laden with concern, "Your boys have been a source of joy, surely?"
"Oh yeah...of course. The boys are great. And I'm sorry Elsie. I don't mean to be down in the mouth. Alice and I have been good at times. We've been friends at least." He grew sad again and lowered his head with a deep sigh.
She moved into him, putting her leg over his outstretched one, she let her hand wander over the buttons of his shirt. "I'm sorry you're hurting..."
The fire ignited again between them. Charles looked up and they stared at one another for a long time. "Elsie...to say I'm needy right now is an understatement. I haven't been intimate," he looked down again, embarrassed. "Alice and I..."
She smoothed her hand across his chest again. "Tell me," she whispered in his ear.
"We've not made love," he closed his eyes, her breath hot on his skin, seductive, lingering, "...made...love...in probably 3 years..."
She sat back suddenly, "You aren't serious?" He didn't answer, his head still bowed, "You poor man." With that she straddled his outstretched legs, resting her bum on his thighs. Pulling his face up between her hands she kissed him softly on the lips, pressed her forehead against his. She threaded her fingers through his thick graying locks and pulled his head to her breasts. Charles countered, palming her buttocks and nuzzling her chest, groaning slightly.
"No pity...please?" He pulled his head away and addressed her seriously, "I don't want pity."
"I'm sorry Charles. I don't mean to...It's not what I mean...I just...don't want you to hurt."
Moved by her sentiments, he looked at her quizzically, "Why? Why now, after all this time, do you care so much?"
"It's not just now Charles." She slid off of him again, frustrated at his questioning but knowing this isn't something he would just do without question. He was a lawyer at heart for God's sake. Although he never practiced, he was still a debater, a questioner. She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and rubbed her brow. "I suppose I've loved you since we were 20 years old." She eventually looked at him.
"What?" Charles questioned.
Elsie crossed her arms in front of her and nodded, "Yep."
"What...why didn't I know? Why have..." He shook his head in disbelief and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You were with Alice," she exclaimed. "You were head over heels for her. I didn't dare tell you how I felt. You fell for her so quickly Charles." She looked away, a tear straying down her cheek. The memories of that time in her life too painful to speak of.
He reached for her, placed his hand on her shoulder. "Elsie," he said quietly. "Look at me..."
She did and tears streaming down her face, "I wanted you...I let my chance slip away."
"I didn't know. I thought," he sighed heavily and gave her a sad look. "I can't say what might have happened. I did think you and I might have a go at it at one point but you seemed...I thought..."
"What? You thought what?"
"I didn't think I was good enough for you. Do you remember at Isobel and Richard's wedding? When you...and I...danced and..."
"Of course I remember...we left the wedding and drove to Primrose Hill. You kissed me. It was the happiest moment of my life."
"I did kiss you and I thought it would be the rest of our lives." He said sadly.
"Why didn't you pop round then? You never called...I was so confused." Her tone was full of pain.
Charles was so overwrought with emotion he had to stand. He got up, his knees clicking. "I DID CALL! I DID COME ROUND!" He was shouting now, "You never returned my bloody calls and...and..." He paced the floor in front of the fireplace, "I came round a day or two later, to your flat, cause you wouldn't take my calls. I came round, one evening, and Joe's car was there." He stopped and looked at her now. Hurt in both their eyes and on their faces. "I knew...I had no chance with him. He was posh, you were posh. I wasn't. I had nothing to impress you."
Elsie was on her feet by now. She had walked to the floor to ceiling windows overlooking an open atrium of various ivy growing up a wall. Joe was talented she could not deny but this house had never been what she wanted. It was his idea, his work, his home. She hated the clean, modern lines. Everyone thought it was so "cool"...she thought it was cold. She wanted a country house, a cottage with a cozy feel. She wrapped her arms around herself. Soon Charles joined her. "Elsie?"
She turned to him. "I didn't know you tried to call. Beryl and Rosamund were always on the line. I never got messages. And...if Joe was there, I don't know why. You know he stepped out for awhile with Rosamund before me. I can't quite remember the time frame but maybe they were seeing each other then. All I know is I waited and I eventually thought we just weren't meant to be, I guess." Suddenly sad, she closed her eyes and rolled her head around, "Maybe this isn't right Charles..." She felt like she had failed him...them and she could never change or fix it. They had both married other people and it was too much to think about what might have been. She put her hand on his forearm, "I think maybe we should say goodnight?"
The feeling of rejection crept back into his heart. He was powerless to fight it. She was probably right. It was too much. They were both too vulnerable and it would be a mistake to act on feelings that were just wrought out of hurt. "Yeah...you're right." He nodded sadly and walked to the sofa to get his jacket. "I've enjoyed it Elsie. Thank you." Charles headed to the door and she stood watching him.
"Good night. I'll be in touch." She was motionless, she felt like her feet were lead. She couldn't lift them. Her insides were shaking so violently she thought she might fall over. When she heard the snick of the door latch she let out a gut wrenching sob.
Charles made it to his car. His keys in hand, his heart on his sleeve. He was drained, frustrated beyond belief. He screamed, "What the bloody hell just happened?" Leaning against his car he thought, "I was just snogging this beautiful women and now I'm standing at my fucking car."