Ok, so even though I WAS planning on abandoning this fic. I got a desperate review and I'm a sucker for those because I've left my fair share of them. SOo I'm continuing it BUT I'm not proof reading
"Lelouch…!" Suzaku Kururugi looked like a puppy had just come across his owner after a long separation. Lelouch loved that face and accompanying enthusiasm. It always translated to amazing sex. But this was going to be different. Platonic. 'FUCKING EW'
"Suzaku…! Calm down, we spoke over skype before I got on the plane."
Lelouch melted into Suzaku's arms when the brunette hugged him. Then it got awkward when their eyes met. Awkward because Suzaku broke eye contact first, he had NEVER done that before. But if there was one thing Lelouch could hold onto during this trying time, it was that there was definite chemistry, maybe even latent love when their eyes briefly held each others gazes. Suzaku disengaged the hug first. 'UGH. This is going to SUCK.' (Especially because Lelouch couldn't drag Suzaku off to actually SUCK… him off, in the bathroom, like they had the last time he picked him up from the airport… Lelouch really needed it right now too, because of the stress, brought on by aforementioned 'former' sucking machine… if the situation wasn't what it was, the Literature Geek in Lelouch would have died from happiness at the tragic irony) 'but he won't be 'former' much longer.' Lelouch was going to get his Suzaku back, somehow. The raven-haired man had taken the first flight out and his sporadic anxiety attacks left little time for him to consider the details of his plan but he had some idea what he would say.
"Suzaku… would you mind if we went straight to my hotel for a little bit? I wanted to unwind and well, let's catch up… and talk." 'About your stupid idiotic decision and how we can let your fiancée down easy when you call off this ridiculous wedding.'
"I know that tone… I'm about to get lectured. OK Professor Lamperouge, let's go." Oh. That hurt. Emotionally and physically because Suzaku had just made platonic a very sexual fetish they shared. So it hurt emotionally because Lelouch loved Suzaku. And physically because now he had to will his erection down. Lelouch glared at his pants as if his scowl would kill anything, erections included. It worked. His hardening state went soft, jelly soft.
"What are you glaring at Lelouch?!"
"A child spilled some ice cream on my shoes on the plane. I was remembering the jack ass who ruined the $30 dollar shoe shine I got at the airport before leaving."
"You got a $30 shoe shine? A little excessive, wouldn't you say?" Lelouch wanted to tell Suzaku he did it because the man was there with his daughter who was crippled. Lelouch Vi Britannia has… had a sister, Nunnally Vi Britannia. She was Lelouch's life blood and the reason he left, to keep her safe. But it would be too risky to tell his best friend any of this. And that fact hurt Lelouch the most.
"So how long do you want to stay at your hotel? I REALLY want you to meet Euphy." OH. And that was ANOTHER THING. Euphy was the name of one of his half-sisters. Granted, there was probably a "Euphy" in every household in Pendragon considering she was one of the popular royals. And not just to the people, but to Lelouch too, she was one of the only ones of his siblings that Lelouch had actually LIKED. The fact that Suzaku was now dating a girl with the same name was frustrating for Lelouch, to say the least. 'To say the most, FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCK FUCK SITUATION… FUCK.' Lelouch had developed a very recent (a day or so old) infatuation with the word, because it fit so WELL how he felt and fit so WELL what he wanted.
"I think a few hours, can her highness and his majesty spare that? Or do you need your minions to dance for you before then?" Lelouch had also developed a very recent (a day or so old) infatuation with condescending allusions to royalty, for an obvious reason.
"Lelouch, you are much more irate than you usually are after travelling. A… are you really that mad at me?" Lelouch's heart broke at the hurt look on Suzaku's face. The raven-haired boy could never stand seeing Suzaku hurt. And god help them all if those emerald eyes starting crying. Lelouch would probably dawn a black mask and destroy Britannia as a rogue terrorist for Suzaku if anybody made him cry. Also because well, Suzaku was part of the Britannian army. That in itself was a whole jumbled mess that could probably take up 50 episodes of a show if it needed to be properly told. But well, sufficed to say, it was a source of resentment and endless arguments between the two. Lelouch would have to find countless reasons (and there were plenty, Suzaku himself was a prime example of one) other than Lelouch's Britannian royal heritage for why Britannia was the devil incarnate. But Suzaku... UGH naive, innocent Suzaku... with his stupid ideals. Ideals that made Lelouch love him even more. 'FUCK I'm fucked up.' A trait Lelouch had long ago come to accept.
"I'm not that mad Suzaku. I'm more concerned. You know, I might not be in love with you (LIE) but I do love you, very much and this is… let's just please talk when we get to the hotel, I need a drink and I want to get some in you too." Lelouch really was hoping that loosening up his best friend would be enough to lower his inhibitions, enough to break off the engagement and enough for them to… frolic.
"Ok I'm ordering room service, gin and tonic, right?"
"Actually Lelouch, I don't want to drink, if that's ok"
"It's not, -a gin and tonic… make that two and extra strong and another two Tullamore Dew's with ice on the side. Double shots. Triple. Bring the whole bottle." Lelouch hung up and looked over to a shocked Suzaku. The raven-haired male couldn't help but chuckle at how cute he looked. God he just wanted to go kiss him.
"Lelouch. You're already a light weight, what are you going to do with a whole bottle of irish whiskey?"
"It's cute that you remember that it's an Irish Whiskey. And I'll probably get drunk and hit you over the head with it for being so obtuse and marrying someone so quickly after you've met them. Not to mention thinking you're in love with her."
"I AM in love with her Lelouch. I… I… Never thought I could feel this way after… well… you know." Lelouch's heart literally broke a little.
"I know Suzaku. And I want you to find someone (or rediscover someone you already know) and if it's this Euphy girl, then so be it (but it's not) but it's too soon to tell Suzaku. You confessed to me after 8 years of friendship…"
"Yea and you rejected me." Suzaku couldn't help the bit of resentment and frustration in his tone. But before Lelouch could protest, Suzaku continued…
"But that's not the point. Actually, I knew that I loved you almost right away Lelouch. It just… took me a long time to work up the courage to tell you. And well, we both know how that worked out. Not that it's a bad thing! Because now I have Euphy and that wouldn't have happened if… you know. But one thing I did take away was not to sit idly by and twiddle my thumbs while I wait for someone else to possibly come and steal her away…" Lelouch wanted to punch himself. In fact, he might actually do it later. Was this entire thing really because he had done all that stuff?! Oh god. Maybe he wouldn't need to punch himself later, his stomach started churning like someone had just punched it. 'Damn that invisible bakemono!'
"Suzaku, it's SOCIAL convention to wait in these matters. Maybe not eight years but CERTAINLY NOT 3 fucking months! You just went from one extreme to the OTHER, both unhealthy!"
"Well then it's a mistake I'm willing to make." And that sentence effectively shut down ALL of Lelouch's arguments. And THAT PISSED HIM OFF.
"Oh that's JUST like you. Fuck analyzing anything. Join the Britannian army, who cares if they send you off to your death. Who cares if they beat you and try to rape you countless times. Because it's a mistake you're willing to make, RIGHT?!" Fuck. Maybe that wasn't the best thing for Lelouch to have said at that time.
But he couldn't just allow Suzaku to shut him out and chalk this up as a 'mistake he was willing to make' because… because, Lelouch NEEDED Suzaku. He needed him in his life, needed him as a lover, needed him as more than a friend. They had been friends once before but neither were OK with staying that way. 'What makes you think it'll work this time!? And…' oh god Lelouch felt sick at the next logical thought 'does that mean you're willing to toss away our relationship altogether for this girl?'
"Wow… the alcohol hasn't even arrived yet and you're already going there. I.. I think I should go Lelouch." Oh no. no no no.
"I'm sorry Suzaku, I just… please don't disregard everything I'm saying because you want to be impulsive. You… you're not the only one who will get hurt if you get hurt." This was the first time Lelouch had ever been so open with Suzaku, telling him he loved him (even if he lied about not being in love) and telling him how he would feel if Suzaku ever got hurt. It seemed to work to, Suzaku's eyes immediately filled with emotion. Affection that Lelouch KNEW was love. He only hoped it was a romantic love. Suzaku came to the bed and sat next to him and hugged him. Lelouch clung to him. This time… Suzaku allowed the hug to linger, long past appropriate. He didn't even flinch when Lelouch turned his head and breathed hot air on the brunettes neck. Lelouch got a bit more daring and rested his open lips against Suzaku's neck.
"L…lelouch… stop, please." But there was tension in his words and he was whispering, a clear show of a lack of conviction.
"Why?" Lelouch mouthed the word onto Suzaku's neck. The brunette swallowed hard.
"B..because I'm in love with someone else and it's inappropriate." Lelouch backed off, scowling.
"AGAIN with THAT Suzaku?! I thought we just went over…"
"We didn't settle anything Lelouch. Nothing's changed. I… I've heard what you've had to say and I hugged you because, I want you to know that I KNOW you care. I know you care about me enough that you would hurt if I got hurt. But… Lelouch. I'm sorry, it doesn't change anything. I'm soo in love with Euphy. And… just meet her, for me, please, you won't regret it. You'll love her too, I KNOW you will." Lelouch excused himself to the bathroom before Suzaku could read the hurt in Lelouch's amethyst eyes. The raven-haired boy was pretty damn good at hiding his emotions behind his classic stoicism. But if anyone could read behind that, it was Suzaku. And especially with Lelouch so clearly unhinged, it'd be easy for him.
Lelouch couldn't help the few tears that trickled down his face as he gathered himself. 'Oh god, have I lost him forever…? No, no don't think like that, you just have to try harder. The boy's dense.' Plus there were so many clear indications that Suzaku still loved Lelouch. He just needed to focus on those.
Lelouch only got Suzaku to drink one of his gin and tonics before the boy excused himself to go back to his house. Lelouch wasn't sure if he had plans with Euphy or was going to see her at all later but he was glad regardless that Suzaku didn't mention it to him if he was. Lelouch drank 3 drinks and in hindsight, that was probably a bad bad idea because he couldn't curtail the endless barrage of thoughts like whether Euphy stayed the night with Suzaku or if they had a sexual relationship. Lelouch threw up a few times that night and the alcohol was only partially responsible.