Dear Dairy,

I want a dog :D 3!

Love, Boomer

Running through the ruined city, I was left with only my wits and a wooden axe I found in a shed. They were everywhere. Decaying monsters lurking in the dark, waiting to pray on poor unsuspecting fools. But I was not one of those fools! In fact my lack of foolishness made me the awesome zombie apocalyptic survivor I am. And I'd be damned if I did any foolish activities today!

I ran into down the streets, only to come face to face with some mighty fine, but also decomposing, hooker zombies.

"Not today Zombitches!" I screamed as I started to swing at them.

But then I tripped and fell. The axe was lost and I was left defenseless.

The zombie hookers started to drool at the sight of my luscious calf muscles.

They started to close in.

Then one of them screamed:

"DUMB ASS!"

"AHHHHHHH! DON'T EAT ME!" I jumped up screaming only to be face to face with the closest thing to a mom I'll ever need.

"How the fuck can someone sleep through so much goddamn racket?!" Brick screeched at me.

His eyes had dark bags underneath them and he smelled of his menthol Malboro cigarettes. He only smokes them when he is under incredible amount of stress or post sex cuddling.

"Damn Brick, didn't you get any sleep last night?" I asked as I poked his cheek.

He snatched my finger and started to bend it backwards.

"No! In fact some fuck-wad kept me up all night long!"

"OW! OW! OMG BRICK IT FUCKING HURTS!" I yelped as my finger was bent further.

"Maybe you should stop talking and rolling in your God damn sleep! You fell off the bed twice and shouted about how some zombie slut bags wanted your sweet delicious calf-muscles!" He seethed.

"OW OW I'M SORRY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

He released my finger from a horrible fate. I instantly brought it to my side and started to nurse it. I gave it a few baby kisses. Brick got up and huffed around, obviously still pissed.

Wait a second… I looked at my surroundings. I'm still in bed, I even had my covers on. Does that mean…

"Did you put me back in bed?" I looked up at him, giving him a huge grin.

He glared down at me and started to blush. OH!

"Well, it's not like I was going to l-leave you down there…" He sheepishly scratched the back of his head, his blush getting deeper.

I just looked at him astonished, with a twinkle in my eye and a puppy look on my face.

"OH YOU PRECIOUS BABY!"

His eyebrows twitched before he grabbed my cheeks.

"Stop smiling you idiot!" He shouted at me. He started to pinch my cheeks and move them uncomfortably around.

"Did you even tuck me in bed!?" I said between giggles. His face turned a dark crimson.

He started to squish my cheeks with his palms and started to move them at lightning speed.

"You just don't know when to shut the fuck up, do you?" He gave me a death glare.

"DOG PILE!"

We heard Butch shout before he successfully body slammed both of us off the bed, to the ground.

"OOF!"

"BUTCH YOU FUCKER!" Brick shouted.

The tangle mess of limbs ended with Butch landing on Brick with his armpit right in his face. While Brick's ass is currently located right in front of my face.

"Brick" I was able to muffle out. "If you fucking fart, I will scream. So. Fucking. Loud."

Butch started laughing. "Yeah Brick, wouldn't it be unfortunate if you tickled farted?"

Brick glared him the fuck down. Bruh, I could feel that glare from his asshole.

Brick's one weakness, only known to his brothers, is that if he laughs too much he accidently farts. And it's the best fucking thing in the entire universe, besides free frozen yogurt.

But in this case it wasn't.

I was on the worse end of this deal actually.

Brick might get a little embarrassed but he didn't get a face full of yesterday's roast beef.

"You wouldn't dare…" Brick whispered.

Oh god. This is how it ends.

"Oh no." Butch shouted, "The tickle monster is coming out!"

Butch started running his fingers wildly over Brick's Body. Brick's body started to squirm around from the contact. Which made it so that his body was squishing me even harder. Brick tried to hit and punch Butch away but to no avail.

"St-stop! Haha Butch Ha y-you haha! Fu-fucker haha!" Brick laughed.

Butch kept on tickling him. Then he hit a spot on Bricks right rib cage that just made Brick start crying from laughing so hard. At this point my face was being horrendously squished by Brick's firm ass. Damn him for being Pokey Oaks High school #1 all-star athlete.

"Oh HAHA! F-fuck! OMG HAHAhA! BU-BUTCH AHA St-sto-HAHA STOP!" Brick cried out.

But it was too late.

It hit like a fucking thunder storm. Its vibrating waves of smelly thunder hitting my face like a shot of cat piss from a super soaker.

All that could be heard after that was my wails for help, Brick's cry of embarrassment and Butch's evil laughter.

We were walking down the street, Brick and Butch laughing about some prank they pulled in wood-shop. I started to look into the windows of the shops we passed by, trying to pass the time.

When we passed a pet shop I nearly died.

They had a mini huskies! Like imagine a Siberian husky NOW IMAGINE THEM THE SIZE OF A POMERIANIAN! OMFG TOO CUTE!

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I shouted as I ran to the window. It's a little fluff ball of adorableness. How the fuck can you exist! You're too perfect for the world.

"Don't fucking scream dumb ass" Brick lectured as he hit the back of head. "What the fuck are you looking at….oh my fucking God…."

Brick looked down at the puppies. A slight blush crept upon his cheeks.

Butch looked down as well.

We were all staring these puppies the fuck down. There wasn't anything in the world that could pull our attention away.

"We need one." Butch finally said, breaking the tense silence.

We all rushed into the pet store. Brick went straight for the counter.

"How much are the puppies near the window for? This is an emergency." Brick said to the cashier.

She gave us a weird look.

"Uh… the Finnish Laphunds?" She said.

"Yes." Butch replied immediately.

"Their…um…$750…" she replied.

All of our bodies stiffened. Butch and I looked over to Brick.

"Bruh…" I said.

Brick looked at Butch.

"Bruh…"

Butch just looked at the cashier.

"Bruh…"

"Guys… we need a mini husky." Brick said as we walked back to our apartment.

"How the hell are we going to get $750?" Butch huffed.

"What about Princess?" I said, looking at Brick.

"Eh…I already got her to pay for our rent again. I don't really want to push my luck." Brick said as we approached our apartments building entrance. Butch typed the security pass code in and unlocked the door.

"Let's just steal it." Butch said as we climbed up the stairs.

"Bruh." Brick said, "We can't get caught now. Too risky."

We entered our apartment, dropped our bags at the doorway and crashed on our thrift store sectional couch.

"UGHHHH" I sighed into a pillow.

Who the fuck in their right mind sells dogs for almost $1,000?! Some sick fucking bastards that never want me to be happy.

"We could get a job…" I said.

We all sighed in unison.

Brick got up and headed to the kitchen. "Spaghetti for dinner?" He called out.

"Sure", Butch shouted back.

"Sounds good to me!" I shouted.

"Okay, I'll start it. You two better start on your homework!" Momma Brick warned.

"Ughhh fine!" We both shouted.

The next day after school I was back at the pet store, looking at the precious gifts from above. There was one puppie in particular that I loved. His grey and white fur was so fluffy he looked like a mini ball. His shining ice blue eyes screamed that he wanted to come home with me. During class I looked up that Finnish Laphunds remain around this size forever. I never wanted anything more in my life.

I sighed and looked down.

"Boomer?"

Oh fuck me. I know that melodious voice anywhere.

I turned around to see Bubbles standing right in front of me. My body stiffened and I held my breathe. Why does she have to be here? I'd rather have Buttercup here than her, at least Buttercup doesn't make me feel like my heart will explode at the sound of her voice.

"B-Bubbles?" I replied trying not to stammer but ultimately failing.

She turned and looked into the window. Her expression turned twice as happy as I've ever seen her.

"OH MY GOD!" She shrieked, somewhat hurting my hears. "THEY GOT NEW PUPPIES!"

She was instantly right next to me eyeing the puppies as if their precious pieces of art works. My body froze. I could feel her warmth again.

Her petite hands were pressing against the glass, causing smudges on the surface. Her face was close enough to the glass to fog up the glass every time she breathed out. She still smelled like every perfect thing in the world. All the puppies instantly focused all their attention on trying to get Bubbles to pet them, despite the glass barrier between them. She always had a way with animals. Her delicate face had a faint blush, her bangs were pushed back behind her ears. She still had the two short pigtails from when she was little.

I felt my stomach fill up with a fluttering feeling. It was like I had an adrenaline rush and had to escape as fast as I could. But I froze there, feet planted in the ground. I realized that I must've been staring at her for at least five minutes, I turned my head and tried to focus on the puppies.

God damn her! How dare she distract me from the puppies!

"They're so cute" She whispered.

"…"

"Let's go in!" She decided as she grabbed my hand and led me in. Her hands were surprisingly cold. Like, really cold. Jesus, how can someone have such fucking cold hands?!

Once inside she instantly ran to the cashier lady from yesterday.

"Stephanie!" She yelled as she glomped the poor unsuspecting girl.

"Bubbble!?" She yelped. "Hey girl! How are you?"

"Oh you know! School and stuff, you never told me you guys got Finnish Laphunds!" Bubbles replied.

"We got them a few days ago, aren't they just adorable!" She replied.

"Yes! Is it okay if I play with them?" Bubbles gave her the puppy look.

I thought my heart almost exploded when I saw that look. My legs turned to jelly.

"Of course!" Stephanie said. Then she looked at me.

"Who's this Bubbles?" She nudged Bubbles in the ribs, "Your boyfriend~?

My face turned beet red. First of all, how dare this bitch? Second of all, who in their right mind would date her?! THIRD OF ALL, WHO THE FUCK WOULD DATE HER WHEN THERE ARE PUPPIES!?

"N-no! Of course not! He was looking at the puppies with me!" Bubbles replied. Her face had a slight blush.

Seeing her blush made me blush even harder. What kind of power does this stupid girl have?! Why was she blushing?! YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH!

"Hehe~ Well, go on! Play with them!" The cashier lady said.

Bubbles put her hands on her cheeks, probably to cool them off with her freezing ass hands. She walked over and picked up a puppy.

"Well aren't you just precious!" The puppy licked her cheek and she giggled.

She looked up to me and started to hand the puppy over to mer. I stupidly stared at her.

"Take the puppy Boomer!" She giggled.

With my face blushing furiously I snatched the puppy from her hands. Geh, stupid girl making fun of me…oh my god aren't you just the most precious thing alive.

The puppy gazed up at me and started to lick my hands and nuzzle my cheek.

I think I just fell in love with this puppy. OMFG! It's so cute!

"Haha! S-stop!" Bubbles giggled. I looked over towards the commotion. She hopped into the playpen full of puppies and they were all jumpin on her, licking her rosy cheeks.

I stood there frozen in astonishment.

THIS WAS THE CUTEST THING I'VE EVER SCENE OMFG! I unconsciously took out my phone and took a picture of her.

Wait… Why the fuck did I just take a picture of her?

"Did you just take a photo of me?" She asked.

Fuck me, she saw! I looked at her, frozen. Looked down at my camera, looked back at her.

Don't just fucking stare at her dumbass, DO SOMETHING!

"N-no!" I said quickly putting my phone away. "I-I was j-just checking for m-messages!"

She gave a suspicious look for a good ten seconds. Then she shrugged her shoulders and focused all her attention on the puppies.

I sighed trying compose myself. My breath was uneven and my palms were sticky with sweat.

Man that was a fucking smooth recovery, if I wasn't in public I'd totally give myself a high five. Maybe even a fist bump.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, I fished it back out.

New message from Brick.

'Where the fuck are you?

Hurry up and come home. Dinners done.'

I looked at the time, holy shit! It's already 6:13!

"AH! I have to head home!" I said aloud.

Bubbles looked up at me before she smiled.

"Okay! It was fun hanging out with you!" She said as she was getting out of the puppy pen. She dusted off her skirt before turning to the cashier lady. "See ya Steph!"

The door jingled, signaling her exit.

My face was flushed to the max. What does she mean it was fun?! I didn't have any fun, what so ever! Who does she think she is! WHO THE HELL WOULD HAVE FUN FOR OVER TWO HOURS WITH A PERSON THEY HATE?! I HAD NO FUN AT ALL! NOT WHEN ALL THE ADORABLE PUPPIES LICKED HER PRETTY ROSY CHEEKS! AHHHHH! I'M NOT IN DENIAL!

"…excuse me, sir?" Stephanie asked. Bringing me back to reality.

"WHAT!?" I unintentionally shouted.

"I need to close up shop soon, you've been standing there for 15 minutes…" She quietly said.

There was a long silent pause between us.

"FUCK!" I shrieked.

I quickly ran out of the store into the direction on my apartment.

"YOU CAN'T CATCH ME THOUGHTS ABOUT BUBBLES!" I screamed, running full speed to my apartment. Fast enough to slightly crack the ground with every step.

By the time I arrived to the apartment the sun had gone down and the stars were coming out. I was gasping for air, even if I have super powers I hardly ever have to run…

When I entered the apartment I was greeted by a slipper to the nose.

"What the fuck?!" I spazzed, falling to the ground. Throwing some sweet ninja moves, thinking I was being attacked by some sort of slipper monster.

"Where the fuck have you been dumbass!"

Nope, it was worse than a slipper monster. I looked up to see Brick seething with anger.

"Hey Boomer…" Butch said sleepily. He was laying on the coach, must've been taking a nap. "Where've you been?"

"Uhhhhh…I was out?" I said, uncertain of why Brick was so mad.

"NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK!" He yelled as he threw another slipper, nailing me in the forehead.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LATE IT IS?! WHAT WOULD DO THINK I WOULD'VE DONE IF YOU DIDN'T RETURN!" Brick shouted. "I CAN'T FUCKING CALL THE POLICE!"

I've never seen Brick so angry before.

"Uh…I'm sorry!" I shouted back bowing my head to show my sincerity.

Brick rubbed his temples and huffed.

"Fine, just go fucking eat your dinner dumbass." His voice was raspy from yelling. He walked up to the stairs that led to the bedroom.

Butch looked over at me.

"Brick was saw Him on the news, so we were worried about you…" Butch said as he went back to surfing Netflix. "Next time text us when you're gonna be late….dumb ass."

My heart jumped at the sound of Him. He was bad fucking news, He was the reason why my brothers and I had to keep a low profile.

I shuddered as I walked to the kitchen to grab my dinner.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and looked at the fluorescent screen.

New Message from Unknown

I opened the message.

'Let's hang out with the puppies again ;)'

I sat there confused. Who in the world is thi-

Then it struck me.

BUBBLES!

I instantly threw my phone across the room. I ducked at hid behind the counter, as if the female demon was lurking in my house. My heart beat was going a million miles an hour. My breath became labored to the point that I started coughing.

I wheezed trying to regain composure.

'HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET MY NUMBER!?"

The bell signaled the end of class. It was 3rd period, History. It wasn't my worst class but it's not like it was fun. Its just sort of makes you feel 'blehhhhh'.

Our school was generally considered a small school. We had about 100 kids all together in our high school, so whatever grade you were in, you were generally in the same class as everyone in your grade. Our grade had 23 students in total. Including the Puffs, Ruffs, Princess, Bitchy Mitch (Butches nickname for Mitch because for some reason he hates his guts), some weird ass kid who apparently use to eat paste all the time (pretty sure he still does) and some other kids that I never really paid attention to.

The only periods when we're not all together is 5th and 6th. You either take an elective class at that time or a physical education class. I take art during 5th and P.E during 6th. Brick takes his wood shop during 5th and has Home Ec. For 6th. Brick has his P.E. credits excused because he plays a varsity sport for every season. Butch takes woodshop at 5th with Brick and P.E. during 6th period with me!

But right now it's lunch, which is the best time of the day.

I don't have to pay attention to anything and I can almost always avoid any dumb girls.

"I'll run to the store." Brick said with Princess clamped to his arm. "I'll meet you guys at our usual."

"Don't wait up~!" Princess shrieked.

Okay, so she didn't actually shriek, but every little sound she makes sounds like finger nails against chalkboard. I fucking hate her. She's one of the few girls I have trouble avoiding.

"Let's go." Butch said plainly. He already started walking ahead of me.

I sighed into my hands. How the hell are we going to get $750?

"Dude, you're starting to bum me out." Butch sighed. He was texting.

"Who're you texting?" I asked.

"Clients." He said.

Did I forget to mention that somehow Butch became the drug dealer at our school. He doesn't sell anything serious like cocaine or meth. He said he doesn't want to ruin anyone's life, well at least not with drugs. He mostly sells weed. But he only gives his clients horrible quality. And for a fucking high price, let me tell you that.

I have no fucking idea how anyone can afford his stuff. Then again, Butch made sure that no one else sells around here.

I have yet to figure out where he gets his stuff.

"Butch."

"Yeah?" He said still looking at his phone.

"Do you actually smoke weed?" I asked.

"What kind of fucking sales man smokes his profits? Hell no, dumb ass." He said as a matter of fact.

I'm almost ten out of ten sure the only people who actually buys from him is the Gangreen Gang. Maybe a few dumb asses at the school.

"Huh…" I sighed. I love Butch, but he is so hard to talk to sometimes.

A gust of wind hit and something hit my face and clung to it.

"AHHHH! WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!" I screamed, I started to flail around. I fell off the bench and face planted into the ground.

"Owwww!" I whined, holding my nose.

Beneath me was a flyer.

School Talent Show!

Come and show off your talents!

1st prize is $500

2nd is $350

3rd is $200

November 14th 6:00 pm

Come cheer and show school spirit!

Sign up at the office!

I looked down at this sign from the gods.

"BUTCH LOOK AT THIS!" I shouted and jumped up in front of Butch.

"School talent show? Okay that's, uh, cool….why am I looking at this?"

"Look at the prize!"

"Holy shit!? $500!" Butch snatched the flyer out of my hand.

"What are you assholes looking at?"

Butch and I turned around to see Brick walking towards us with a bag full of snacks. Luckily, Princess was nowhere in sight.

"Where's you wifey~?" Butch smirked.

"Ha-ha." Brick said dryly. "So fucking funny. Now what the hell are you looking at?"

Butch handed Brick the flyer. He studied it before looking up at us.

"Well that's great and all, but what fucking talents do we have. It's not like we can use our superpowers or anything…" Brick said.

I sat down and started to think. Suddenly a brilliant idea came to me.

"I know what we can do!" I cheered.

"What?" Brick and Butch asked.

"You'll see!" I smiled. "Now let's eat before class starts.

I laid the blueprints and costumes down.

"There is no fucking way I'm doing this." Butch said.

"Me neither." Brick agreed.

"Well there is nothing else we can do!" I reasoned. "And besides, it's only for one night!"

"…" Butch and Brick looked at each other.

"Do we have to wear the outfits?" Brick whined. He picked up one of the satin black gloves and rhinestoned Santa hat.

"Do we wear pink on Wednesdays?" I asked, grabbing the hat out of his hands and putting it on my head.

"What?" Butch glared at me.

"OF FUCKING COURSE!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air with a flick.

I bent down and grabbed a costume and pressed it against my body.

"Now suit up you scum sucking road whores, we have a talent show to fuck up!"

Shout out to all ya'll who know the references!

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