I felt like doing another fairy-tale story with Yami in it. XD

I hope you enjoy Yami and the Seven Dorks; it's pretty much a rip off of both the Disney version and the Grimm Brother's version. As you can see, instead of actually writing out a bunch of one-shots, I decided to stick all my fairy-tale stories together in one story, makes it more fun that way.

Summery: Yami was suppose to die at the hands of Queen Anzu, but he was sent to live in the forest with seven dorks. Can he survive and where is his handsome prince?

I own nothing but the stupid plot-bunny!

Warnings: Cussing, attempted murder, vanity, that kinda stuff. This is a Prideshipping story and there is much character bashing, so if you don't like that then please don't complain.

Since I really prefer the story that the Grimm brothers wrote, I'm using more elements from that story then the one that Mr. Disney put out, though that one is okay since it was his first colored film.

Oh, and Yami is just as random as he was in Cinder-Yami as he is in this. *laughs*

On with the fic!

Yami and the Seven Dorks

One-shot

Once upon a time, there was a king who had a beautiful queen that was gonna bore him a beautiful daughter with raven black hair and snow white skin. She didn't have a daughter, she had a son. He was born with tan skin, crimson-eyes and tri-color hair, but he was loved by the kingdom anyway.

Sadly, the queen died and the king ended up marrying a bitch named Anzu. Then the king died and the prince was stripped of his rank, but kept his gorgeous, hot looks as he grew.

One day, Anzu looked at her mirror and smiled, saying the words she always said. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" She smiled at the mirror snorted.

"Not you sweet cheeks, the most fairest in the kingdom is Yami."

"YAMI?!" Anzu glared deeply and turned to the mirror to find Yami, in his black leather outfit. He was going around the courtyard, dancing around and breaking statues and vases with a baseball bat, singing a loud and random song.

"Anzu's castles falling down! Falling down, falling down! Anzu's castles falling down, killing us all!"

She raised and eye brow and turned to the mirror, giving it a questioning look. "How the hell can he be the most fairest in the land, he's a moron!"

"Uh, have you seen the moron?! He's hotter then a thousand suns! My God, have you seen that ass in those tight leather pants!?"

Anzu growled, she needed to kill that boy so that she could reclaim her title. She turned to her servants Haga and Ryuzaki. "You two! I want you to take Yami out of the forest and kill him! Then bring me his heart as proof and place it in this box!" She held up a gold box and the two blinked.

"What do you want done with the rest of the body?" Haga asked.

"Just ditch it or sell it to the poor people as cheap meat."

Yami was still going around the courtyard, singing that song and had now moved onto smashing windows. He was only doing this because the queen had cut off his leather buying privileges and made him spit-shine her 300 pairs of shoes. Just as he was about to smash another window, he saw Haga and Ryuzaki walk over.

"Hey douche bags, what do you want?" He asked.

"The queen says that if you want your leather back, you must go to the forest with us." Ryuzaki replied, glaring at Yami who was grinning and pushing them towards the gate.

"Well if that's the case, I'll do anything you say!"

After an hour, the three were deep in the woods and Yami was pouting.

"Okay, we have been walking for an hour, why exactly did you take me out here and what are you doing with that box and knife?" Yami asked, pointing to the blade that Haga took out along with the box the other was holding.

Haga walked over and tried to lunge at Yami who just looked at him. "Are you gonna kill cute little me? That doesn't seem like a nice thing to do…" Yami pouted. He didn't want to die, he didn't deserve to die, he had so much to live for and there were so many things he had yet to do.

-Suddenly you see Yami sitting at an office desk, with a head set on and smiling saying "Hello, may I transfer your call?" into the head set.-

The two others stopped and frowned. "I can't do it Ryuzaki! I can't kill him!"

"My either Haga! Prince Yami, go and run deep into the woods and never come back until its safe! Queen Anzu wants you dead and she'll do anything to kill you!

Yami blinked. "That's not very nice, why would she want to kill me?"

"Because you're better looking then her."

"Well, that much is obvious."

Haga and Ryuzaki sighed and sent Yami going. They decided to bring back the heart of a pig to the queen to shut her up.

Yami was very pissed that he was forced into uncharted woods without anything to help him. "Damn! This is the worse day of my life!" He groaned but blinked when he noticed something. He noticed a small house and walked over to it, finding that the door wasn't even locked.

"Well, I guess that means I can come in."

Opening the door, Yami looked around in disgust. The house was a complete mess! Dishes, trash, clothing, it was everywhere! And was that underwear hanging from the ceiling?! "Good Ra in butter! Who lives in this shit hole?!" Since he was the prince, Yami decided to look around. Everything looked weird, like a bachelor pad.

Walking upstairs, Yami found seven beds and just plopped down on one of them, too tired to do anything else. Meanwhile, coming up from the hill that over looked the house were seven men.

There was Yugi, Jou, Honda, Marik, Malik, Ryo, and Bakura.

Unlike the seven dwarves in the Disney story, these boys were actually normal sized men, though Yugi was short. They owned the largest gem factory and mine in the entire kingdom, and yet they lived in a small house in the middle of nowhere, but this was because Jou accidentally sold their mansion for a something that no one can remember.

"Holy shit on a shingle! The door's open!" Bakura pointed out as they got closer to the house.

"If someone has stolen anything, then you'll just steal it back Bakura." Marik sighed and pushed him out of the way to step into the house. They noticed that it was still a mess and that no one had stolen anything, but this was only the first floor.

"Yugi, you go check! If there is anything up there and it attacks, your death rattle will alert us!" Jou spoke, too scared to go up himself and Yugi looked at him in angered shock before sighing and going up there himself.

Finding that the door to their bedroom was open, Yugi looked around and turned on the lights and heard a muffled groan. "Turning off da lights…" Yugi blinked and walked over to his bed.

On the bed was a figure that looked an awful lot like Yugi, only dressed in tight clothing with some Egyptian bling on a chain around his neck.

"Hey! You're Prince Yami! HEY EVERYONE!" Yugi screamed, alerting everyone in the house and scaring poor Yami awake. "PRINCE YAMI IS IN MY BED!"

The sound of thundering feet came up the stairs and everyone stared in shock at the equally shocked prince. "I CALL FIRST DIBS ON HIS ASS!" Jou yelled out of nowhere and Yugi slapped him on the back of the head.

"Who are you people…?" Yami raised an eyebrow.

"Well, we are the owners of the house. I'm Ryo, this is Bakura, Marik, Honda, Malik, Jou, and the one who broke the sound barrier is Yugi." The nice white-haired boy spoke up first and Yami blinked.

"Hey, I know those names; you guys make the finest jewelry in all the kingdoms. If you guys are so rich, why do you live in this crap shack?"

Everyone pointed to Jou. "He did it." They all exclaimed and Jou only sheepishly grinned.

"Anyway," Yugi spoke up, "what are you doing out here Prince Yami? This doesn't exactly seem like somewhere you want to be at all."

"My step-mother Anzu, she wants me dead and her henchmen couldn't kill me so they sent me away. Then I got lost and ended up here."

The seven men looked at him before turning to each other and spoke in a hushed manner. "Group talk!" Yugi exclaimed before speaking quietly to the others, everything was too muffled for Yami to hear properly, and then they turned back to him. "You can stay with us until you can return to your kingdom."

A low groan came from Yami, he was stuck living with a band of seven dorks.

"Mirror, mirror of the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

"Not you honey! Prince Yami is still the sexiest thing since sex!"

"WHAT?! Then I must destroy him… where is he now!?"

"He's living with the Seven Mines owners in the forest. Why do you ask?"

"No reason."

Yami sighed as he looked out the window, playing with a diamond bracelet he stole from Marik. Yugi had told him to stay home and try and find something to do that didn't result in destroying the house. So for two hours Yami cleaned up the house, using animals to do his bidding.

Now it was in the middle of the afternoon and Yami was playing with the bracelet, holding it up and gasping when he saw that there were rainbows coming from it when it was held up in front of light. But a voice interrupted his little discovery.

"Combs for sale! Get your lovely combs for sale!" He turned to see an old hag walking around with a basket and holding up a very pretty looking shell comb. Yami blinked, he needed a comb since he didn't like using over people's stuff.

"Hey lady! How much are those?" He asked and the lady walked over to him.

"Why, for someone as lovely as you, you can have it for free!" She grinned evilly and Yami could see her nasty teeth.

"Well, you're clearly evil, but I don't see any harm from taking something that is free." He smiled and she handed him the comb before she ran off laughing madly. Yami blinked again and shrugged before he started to run it through his hair until…

"What the hell?!" The comb was stuck in his hair and there was a strange, green goo in his hair and on his hand. He let out a very high pitched scream when he realized it would not come off.

Meanwhile, Yugi shuddered violently as he walked back to the house, hearing a loud sound. It sounded like Yami, or a dying animal. He ran to the house to find Yami on the ground outside, growling and trying to remove his hands from his hair along with a comb and some leaves.

"Yami what happened?!" He had only come home to check on Yami and now he found him like this.

"Umm… some old lady gave me a comb and then I got it stuck and then there was green goo and now I can't get my hands out of my hair, can you help me?"

Yugi sighed and lead Yami to the bath where they spent five hours cleaning Yami's hair to get all the goo out. Yugi then gave Yami a lecture on not talking to strangers and not taking strange things.

Yami obeyed, but not for long…

The mirror just sighed at the laughing queen. "So you made the comb release sticky stuff when it ran through Yami's hair? How is that evil?"

"It's evil because it will be ruined! Yami's hair is a trademark for his beauty and now its ruined!" Anzu laughed again.

"Didn't work," The mirror showed Yami, scratching at his now clean and wet hair, "seems that it got washed out. Why don't you actually do something evil?"

Anzu glared and thought this over, before going to head for her basement of evilness.

"Sometimes men love women, and sometimes men love men! And there are bisexuals, but some just say they're kidding themselves!" Yami sang as he swept the front porch, a week had gone by since the old hag had come by and life was okay.

"Hello there boy."

"AHH!" Yami jolted and turned around to see said hag near him. "Jesus Christ Bananas, you trying to give me a heart attack?!"

"Sorry, I just wanted to know if you would like a beautiful chocker." She held a crimson leather chocker with a jeweled buckle. Yami looked at it in delight but remembered Yugi's words of not taking things.

"Sorry, but I can't take it, Yugi told me not to."

"Well, he would let you have it anyway, after all the jewels are from his company."

Yami thought about it for a moment, which meant that he could take it, right? "Well, okay, I guess I can take it." He removed his old one and put on the new one, but as soon as he clipped it together, it started tightening around his neck and he started chocking.

"You are so stupid…!" Anzu laughed and ran off as Yami started gagging before passing out. He was found two hours later by Jou and Marik who had to go home to get Jou a pair of underpants because going commando was not work appropriate and Marik needed to do a touch up on his hair.

"Oh my Gods! Jou, Yami's dead!" Marik squeaked in fear, which meant that Yugi would be pissed and you do NOT want to deal with a pissed Yugi. "Quick, let's hide the body in a ditch and say Yami went back to the kingdom!"

"No, he's still alive, look he's breathing." Jou pointed to Yami's barely rising chest. Using a knife, he cut the collar off and Yami gasped when he could breathe again.

"You okay Prince Yami?" The blond asked.

"Yeah… must have put it on too tight."

"Did it work? Am I now the most beautiful woman in the kingdom?" Anzu asked in delight.

"Nope, your beauty compared to Yami's is like comparing a pig's dirty butt to a beautiful work of art, and Yami's the work of art."

"Damn it! Now I'll have to do something drastic!"

Yugi glared at Yami who was sitting in the chair, pouting and looking cute which made Yugi want to go AWWWW but he wasn't going to because he was in angry-Yugi mode right now.

"Yami, today I want you to lock the doors, don't talk to any strangers, and don't take strange objects! You are only allowed to open the door for me and the others alright?"

The prince nodded, fiddling with his Egyptian puzzle around his neck. Honda walked over to Yugi, tapping his shoulder. "Come on man, we have to get to work."

The seven dorks left Yami alone where he decided to invade Bakura, Malik, and Jou's porn stash to see what kinds they had. Everything was gay and there seemed to be a lot of strange looking things that were used, giving Yami dirty ideas to use incase he ever found his Prince Charming, but he will because he's the main character of this story.

After a while and Yami falling asleep during a long dialog scene, there was a knock on the door. The prince walked over and looked out the peep hole and saw the old hag, holding a basket.

"Nobody's home!" Yami called.

"But I bring an apology gift!"

"Nobody's home!"

"To make up for giving you a too-small collar!"

"You're a stranger, you're not allowed in!"

"But a stranger is someone you meet once, and we have met twice before. We are no longer strangers!"

Yami blinked, the old lady had a point, so he opened the door a bit and looked at her. "What's in the basket? Cause I'm not allowed to take strange gifts."

"Just a basket of apples, and I have a lovely, plump red one that you might like." She held it up and Yami did want it, it looked Yami. But he didn't trust her and rejected it, but she shoved the apple into Yami's mouth and slapped the back of his head to make him take a bite.

And Yami fell to the floor, dead as a successful emo who finally killed himself.

Anzu laughed loudly and changed back into her normal form, running off in glee that she had finally killed the poor boy that lay dead on the living room floor as the TV played a kinky scene between two gay cowboys eating pudding.

When the dorks arrived home, they were in for the shock of their lives, though Malik, Jou, and Bakura were more focused on the TV rather then the dead body on the floor.

After a week of just leaving Yami's body on the floor, they realized that Yami was not decomposing so they used their large sum of money to build a beautiful coffin with a jeweled case and a glass top so they could look at Yami's still beautiful body. But they left him in the forest for two months without really paying much attention, though Yugi would visit.

Then one day, there was a loud yell. Zooming over the forest was the sexy prince Seto Kaiba of a neighboring kingdom, riding on a large white dragon and having some issues with driving since he just got his license.

But he ended up making an emergency stop when something shiny down in a bare path of woods. Landing with a loud thud, the dragon came to a stop near a coffin above ground. He blinked and walked over. "Who's stupid enough to leave a coffin out in the… HELLO! That is one beautiful guy!"

Kaiba grinned at he looked at the figure that lay inside, to bad he was dead. But no one is around… that meant that he might be able to kiss this cute person. Hey, it's fine in a fairy-tale for the handsome prince to kiss the dead princess or prince in this case.

Pushing off the top carefully, Kaiba kept looking at the beautiful boy until the top slipped and crashed. "Opps… umm… better make this quick." The prince leaned down to kiss the boy, lifting him up slightly to kiss those soft lips. He pulled away and let the body drop and when it hit the coffin, something popped out of his mouth.

A chunk of apple? Kaiba raised an eyebrow but heard the boy coughing. "You're… you're alive!" He turned to find crimson-eyes staring into his blue ones.

"Holy shit… my prince charming saved me?! How did you do it and why do I taste cherry lip gloss…?" Yami licked his lips, secretly Kaiba has worn cherry lip blam, keeps them from getting dry.

"I um… kissed you and you woke up, yeah let's go with that. Anyway, I am Prince Seto Kaiba and you are?"

"I am Prince Yami." Yami smiled as Kaiba helped him out.

"Hey, you're a prince and so am I! Let's get married!" Kaiba smiled and Yami hugged him before the shared a tongued kiss. The poor dragon had to cover its eyes so it didn't have to see its master dry humping the prince.

Anzu walked over to the mirror again for the seventh time that day. "So my dear mirror, who is the fairest in the land today?" She blinked when the mirror changed to that of a red-head boy with grey-eyes, glaring at her.

"Listen woman! I'm tired of you asking me that! You know what, Yami is the fairest person in the land, he has always been! He wasn't dead at all when he bit into the apple, he we asleep! Now he is getting married to Prince Kaiba and for your information, I actually have a life! Alistair's the name and babe, you have never been pretty." The mirror popped itself off the wall and rolled away.

Anzu growled in anger. "That little slut is STILL alive?! He must die!"

She stormed off to the castle that Kaiba ruled over and found that Yami was indeed still alive and that he was marring Kaiba. She lunged at the young boy but with a flick of his wrist, Kaiba ordered his dragon to eat Anzu.

With her gone, the wedding continued and when they said I do, Kaiba tackled Yami to the floor to sex him up, in front of everyone and the seven dorks, though they were cheering them on and Marik demanded that Yami take off his clothes.

The End

Hope that was good, please review and I'll do another one!

-Suddenly you see Yami sitting at an office desk, with a head set on and smiling saying "Hello, may I transfer your call?" into the head set.- This joke is actually from an episode of Spongebob, bet you can't guess which one!