DISCLAIMER: Not mine, but Kubo Tite and Hiromu Arakawa's. The Bleach and FMA crossover idea is not mine also. Yeah, kinda depressing…
ALERT: xinping has a lifetime history of plagiarism and carelessness. Pardon her if you find her copying your idea or make stupid grammar mistakes.
REVIEW REPLY: anti-thule is right. How did they fight in Ichigo's room ya…? No idea…supposed Ichigo had a big room? (sheepish)
THE DAMNED THING
by xinping
CHAPTER TWO: THE MOON AND THE STAR
Eighteen years ago, somewhere in the suburbs of Hokkaido
"Waa! Waa!"
Urahara Keisuke stopped dead in his tracks. He was holding a bottle of sake, wandering around the area after visiting his old friend. There was surprise in his eyes underneath the ridiculous cap. He looked around. Silence. He shrugged and continued walking.
"Waa!"
Definitely not a hallucination. Urahara stopped again and listened. Another string of brawl, this time much nearer. He looked around again. Around him were remains of a shanty town, no longer occupied. It was unnerving, alone in a dark place and hearing voices that were not supposed to be there.
Just then, he saw a beautiful and slender white bird perching on a roof nearby. The bird rose in the air and seemed to beckon Urahara to follow it. Urahara stopped again, uncertain, but decided to follow it all the same. The bird flew over several huts and at last landed on the roof of a hut with broken windows.
Urahara slowly entered the hut and to his surprise, saw a crying baby lying in the middle of the room. Light was shining on her through a hole in the roof, a most eerie sight. He heard the bird gave a shriek as it took off again. A few of its feathers floated down from the hole and landed near the baby.
Urahara went forward. It was a baby girl. He took her in her arms and while comforting her, glanced upwards at the hole. It was a moonless night and the stars were twinkling friendily in the sky. He then looked down at the feathers on the floor and made up his mind.
"I shall call you… Tsubasa Hoshii," he whispered in the baby's ear and left the hut.
Note: tsubasa-wings; hoshi-star
21st century, in a jungle near the town of Karakura
"Up and going!" Hoshii hollered and threw the blanket off Urahara. She grinned when Urahara squinted at her sleepily, and then closed his eyes again. He could hear the dull thuds on the wooden floor as Hoshii stepped out of his room towards the kitchen. "I'll get Tsuki, and we'll go right after breakfast. Don't keep us waiting!"
Urahara sighed. Groggily, he got dressed and moments later sat down in the brightly-lit shukudo to a seemingly ten-course breakfast. He gawked and looked at Tsuki for an explanation.
"Uh, Hoshii prepared all this," Tsuki said apologetically. Just then Hoshii came out of the kitchen and sat down at the table. "Itadakimasu!" she said brightly and tucked in, not noticing the look on Urahara's face. (very, very green) Tsuki joined her but kept casing Urahara doubtful looks.
About twenty minutes later, both girls bade Urahara goodbye and went off. Before going, Hoshii yelled, "Daddy, I'll get the most wanted man this time! You'll see!" She winked and was out in a flash, leaving Urahara gaping with a bowl of rice and chopsticks in hand at the unfinished mountain of breakfast.
"I'll get overweight at this rate!" he finally exclaimed.
Meanwhile, in a park at the town of Karakura
"You said he'll come. So where is he?" Edward Elric demanded. He was getting fed up of the lazy ways in Japan. He wants things to get done quick and ASAP at it. Coming to Japan had been a big mistake, he thought.
Kurosaki Ichigo flashed Kuchiki Rukia a look across the table. She shrugged and continued watching a spider weaving a web. That shrimp was another foreigner, expecting everyone to cater to his needs. "Well, aren't all outsiders the same," she concluded silently as the spider finished weaving the web.
Meanwhile, Edward was going crazy. He wished he had brought Alphonse with him. On a not-so-bright impulse, he picked a fight with Ichigo. He was winning when Urahara suddenly appeared. Distracted, he was thrown by the Moon Cutter up into the air and landed on the grass head first.
NOW AS MOST PEOPLE KNOW EDWARD ELRIC HAD A TERRIBLE TEMPER…
The heck?! That's cheating!
Aaargghh! That's not fair!
Not fair!
NOT FAIR!!
Edward leapt up from the grass and transmuted his metal limb into a sword. There was a crazy glint in his eyes as he brought the sword towards Ichigo's head.
"I'm gonna send you to hell!"
Ichigo barely escaped, the sword somehow grazed his chin. He was furious.
"You lil twit!" he yelled and charged at Edward, but someone banged him on the head with something heavy. He caught a glimpse of Rukia before blacking out. A satisfied smile spread across her face. She caught Edward and Urahara gawking at her and smiled a very false smile.
"My new technique, Maka Chop. Care to try it?" she said, holding up her 'chopper', a thick book entitled 'Teenagers and their social lives'. Both sweat-dropped and glanced at the heap on the grass that was Ichigo.
"Ve-very creative," Urahara said.
"Y-Yes, in-indeed," Edward said.
Rukia said nothing and put the book away, all the while still smiling the deadly false smile.
They sat down on the bench. It was a comfortable sunny day and Urahara was in a good mood. But then, Urahara in a good mood means putting someone else in a bad mood. It always had been this way.
"I take that," Urahara looked at Edward, "You are Mister Edward Elric. Correct?"
Edward did not like to be addressed as 'Mister' but decided to drop it since this Urahara was such as important person. "Yes," he stiffly. He saw Urahara raised his left eyebrow and smirked. He suddenly realized his right hand was still a sword and quickly transmuted it back. Urahara nodded solemnly.
"Alchemy," he said solemnly.
Urahara took out fan and began fanning himself. "I understand you come here to help retrieve the Jade of Souls, and that you want to use it for certain purpose," He paused. "But you call this creation of mine by another name, don't you?"
Edward straightened up, and answered. "Yes. I call it the Philosopher's Stone," He looked at Urahara straight in the eye to show that he meant business. There was not time to fool around if Alphonse were to return his body ASAP.
There was a long pause. "Philosopher's Stone," Urahara echoed. Edward nodded and Urahara shifted his gaze to the sky. "I gather that you are not using it for dishonest means if you have it?" There was a faint smirk on Urahara's face. Without waiting for an answer, he said nonchalantly, "Well, I'll give you information, but you'll have to-"
Edward squeezed his fist so tight his knuckles had turned white (for the left limb, that is). In his mind he was wondering what kind of exchange would be equivalent to the information.
"Guess my age."
Edward toppled from the bench.
"What? What!? WHAT!!" Edward screamed.
"Guess my age." Urahara repeated calmly.
Edward was furious. "Who wanna guess your friggin' age!" He was beginning to think the whole thing was a joke set up by the damned colonel. It was just the kind of thing he would do. 'Fuck you colonel mouse-scank!' he thought.
Back at Grand Central, Amestris, the colonel sneezed.
"Guess my age," Urahara said again, "but please be reminded you can only have five go. Got it correct and I'll tell you the information. Got it wrong, I won't say a thing. Agree?" He peered at Edward underneath his ridiculous cap, as if jeering at him.
"Hmph!" Edward sat down on the bench again. Rukia looked at him in surprise. Who would think a person, with such a high IQ would actually fall for Urahara's trick? Maybe there was something wrong with the information on this alchemist.
"52!"
"Nah."
"83!"
"No."
"43!"
"Too young."
"67!"
"No."
Edward glanced at Urahara. It was impossible to tell how old he was, and he had only one chance left. "Think logically," he thought to himself. 43 was too young. Wait - too young? Does this means he was over a hundred?
No way. Didn't look like it. Then, how old was he?!
Aaargghh! Don't care anymore! "102!" he yelled.
"Wrong."
Edward went crazy. Just then, Ichigo woke up in time to see Edward jumping up and down like he was doing a war dance. He rubbed his eyes and mumbled, "What happened? Hey, wait - why I am being left out? I thought I am supposed to be the main character?!"
- Author went missing for two months trying to escape from Ichigo and the Moon Cutter. -
Meanwhile, Edward was very, very depressed. (He had stopped jumping around.)
Sorry, Al. If I had been better at guessing games, you won't have to be stuck being a suit of armour forever. You must be hating me for this. I deserved to die! Die! DIE!!
Somebody kill me!!
Just then, a bullet whizzed past Edward's ear, missing it by inches. He saw Ichigo looked at something behind him and ran away like mad. Curious, he turned around. Urahara was smirking (The heck?? He was still fanning himself?!) and there were two girls standing beside him.
"Ah! Allow me to introduce these two young ladies! This is Hirakawa Tsuki…" he gestured to the girl on the right, who, despite her Japanese name, looked more like a Korean, "and this is Tsubasa Hoshii! Lovely, aren't they?"
Edward's gaze fell on Tsubasa Hoshii. She was holding a gun and wore a black jacket over a dark grey T-shirt, and black belly-bottom jeans. Her jet black hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail, giving her an ominous look. He disliked her instantly.
"Daddy, where had Ichigo gone to?" Hoshii asked.
"Hmm?" Urahara looked around. Ichigo was nowhere to be seen. "Funny, he was here moments ago…anyway, Hoshii, introduce this guy to Tsuki."
Edward was confused why Hoshii should be the one to introduce him, but not for long.
"Edward Elric, 15. A foul-mouth brat with long blond hair in plait. Short for his age, actual height not known due to platform boots and antenna. Youngest state alchemist in Amestris, second name Fullmetal Alchemist. Hates milk. Younger brother, Alphonse Elric, 14, his body disintegrated and soul is now housed in a suit of armour-"
"STOP!"
Tsuki looked sheepish. "I think you had overdone it again, Hoshii." Edward glared at her. She blushed and shuffled behind Urahara like a small girl. Urahara smirked.
"You scared her," he said.
"I bloody hell realize that!" Edward screamed. Someone smacked him on the head with a heavy thing, and he was out cold in two seconds flat. "So much for being a STATE ALCHEMIST," Hoshii sighed and returned 'Teenagers and their social lives' back to Rukia.
- Yeah, the ultimate Maka Chop again! -
"That-that's not very nice," Tsuki piped up. Hoshii shrugged and dumped Edward back onto the bench. She looked around, frowning. "You know where Ichigo is?" she asked Rukia.
Rukia smiled. "Could that odd orange among the bush he him?" she pointed. Sure enough, there was a bright splat of orange among the bushes. It was so obvious; Ichigo must be really desperate to get away from Hoshii.
Hoshii gave Rukia a thumbs up and tiptoed quietly to the bush. Urahara, Tsuki and Rukia held their breath. The air was so thick with tense that they were startled by the rustling caused by a small squirrel.
"Ichigo!" Hoshii called, standing deliberately near the bush.
Rustle, but the orange 'bush' remained stationery. Ichigo was not going to come out of hiding so easily. He didn't realize that his hair would give himself away, since it had been a long time he was criticized because of it. Or had he forgotten about his own hair colour?!
Hoshii sighed. They saw her mumble something under her breath and Ichigo was pulled up by the sleeve of his shirt. He looked very frightened and automatically knelt down on the ground in front of Hoshii, which make her raise her eyebrow.
"Please do not punish me!" They heard Ichigo said.
Hoshii looked amused. "Now why would I do that? Oh, for goodness sake please stand up! You make me feel like a bully." She giggled.
'You ARE a bully, no doubt about it,' Ichigo thought drily. He got up slowly and before Hoshii could react, ran away!
"FORGIVE ME-!" Ichigo yelled as he ran.
Wrong move. One thing was sure, Hoshii is definitely would NOT forgive him. She ran after him. "COME BACK YOU PUNY CARROT-TOP!" she yelled.
As the two disappeared into the distance, Urahara turned to Tsuki. There was a mock serious expression on his face. "Did you put the tracker on her?" he asked. Tsuki nodded solemnly. Then, they burst out laughing.
Rukia was confused. "What's so funny?" she asked. The duo was still laughing. Their laughter awoke Edward from his slumber. (notice that Ichigo was out cold longer than Edward) He rubbed his eyes and stared at the laughing pair. "What are they on about?" he asked Rukia.
Rukia shrugged. When at last the laughter creased, Tsuki gasped, "It's a long story."
Flashback: Eleven years ago
Both Ichigo and Hoshii were seven then; Tsuki was nine. One summer day…
HOSHII: Ichi-kun! (running to catch up with Ichigo)
ICHIGO: Quit calling me that! If not I will not play with you anymore! (Trying to look stern)
HOSHII: Aww… (depressed, but then brightened up) Kuro-kun! Let's play hide and seek!
ICHIGO: (Thinking: What?! Kuro-kun?! Oh - I give up.) All right. So who's gonna do the hiding?
HOSHII: You, of course! 1-2-3-
ICHIGO: Hey! Whatever, I'll hide.
HOSHII: (smirk) 4-5-6-7-…
And so, this went on until Hoshii reached a hundred.
HOSHII: I'm out to get ya, Kuro-kun!
Ichigo, who was up on a tree directly above her, went "…".
Hoshii looked under the park bridge. She looked among bushes, behind benches and even in the dustbins. She waded out into a pond to see if he was in there, but of course he wasn't. All this time she did not think of looking up at the trees, and Ichigo got tired of waiting for her to find him. So, he shinned down the tree and taking care not to bump into Hoshii, he ran home.
ICHIGO: Gotta leave it to Hoshii to play and seek for HOURS. Oh, damn, my bum is so sore from sitting on the branch.
Meanwhile, Hoshii was still searching for Ichigo.
HOSHII: Where could he be? He couldn't have so good a hiding place! Oh! I know! He must be hiding up in one of the trees!
- Sorry, Hoshii, your reaction was a tad too slow. -
And so, Hoshii began looking for Ichigo by climbing trees. She was so absorbed in this act that she did not realize night had fallen until she reached the tree near the park entrance. (the park have tons of trees)
HOSHII: Eh? Why is the park gate locked? It couldn't be that late… (suddenly broke down and cried) It's all Ichigo's fault! Where is he?!
Just then, Urahara came and when Hoshii saw him, she ran to him.
HOSHII: (wailing) Daddy-!
URAHARA: Where have you been? I'm so worried about you!
HOSHII: I was playing hide and seek with Ichigo, but I couldn't find him!
URAHARA: (surprised) Ichigo? He went home ages ago!
HOSHII: (shocked) What?!
URAHARA: Now, now, don't cry anymore! Let's go home, ok?
Hoshii nodded and they went home, the ordeal over. And yeah, since then, Hoshii did not call Ichigo by petty nicknames anymore but just plain 'Ichigo'.
Back to reality
"YOU'RE DEAD!"
Urahara, Tsuki, Rukia and Edward looked up at the shrill scream emitted by Hoshii in the distance. They exchanged a knowing smile and burst out laughing.
Up above them the blue sky had turned into shades of red, orange and yellow. Another day was coming to an end.
Urahara bade a severely-beaten up Ichigo goodbye and went off with Hoshii and Tsuki, leaving Rukia and Edward with the trouble of carrying him home. Edward did not get any serious talking done as he had expected, but what the heck, it had been a fun day.
'Maybe tomorrow,' Edward thought.
A/N: Sorry for taking a long time to post up this chapter. I had been busy with revisions and exams…since I am the must-get-no.1-in-class type of person…
So, how was it? If you wanted to know what Urahara's age was, I am afraid I am unable to provide an accurate answer…but he certainly is a hundred something. Or even two hundred something. Who knows?
A friend of mine asked me if the book 'Teenagers and their social lives' really exist. Well, I don't know, I just made it up as I write.
Actually this is chapter two version two…the chapter two version one kinda stinks, so I took a two week break and start again!
I have not decided the title of chapter three yet…but please support me all the same!
Read and review!