[Worthington, Johnny, III. 46 years old. Currently residing in Sludge Falls. Scarer at Fear Corporation.]
Well… It looks like I've come a little unstuck, haven't I? I have always been a confident monster in life, always sure of my decisions, good or bad, but for once I don't know what to do. I am honestly stuck for an answer. Everything I knew is crumbling around me and I don't know how to escape being dragged down with it.
Twelve years. Twelve long, happy years I had spent fulfilling my dreams, working at Fear Co. Sure, it wasn't Monsters, Incorporated like I had first envisaged, but I was happy. I was content. I never broke any records, not outside of this company anyway, but I made a more than modest living. I was amongst the elite as I had always hoped, and yes I do say 'as I had always hoped'. I have long since accepted quite what the expectations were of me from my family and peers, and I do not regret my decision to break away from them and make my own mark.
But now here we are on the cusp of a revolution. One that started twenty years ago and has finally caught me up. I should have been prepared… I thought I was prepared… but I am not. I do not want to let go of a career that has held me in such good stead these many long years, but there is nothing I can do about it.
As everyone in the world knows, twenty years ago Monsters, Incorporated and one James P. Sullivan did something quite unprecedented. They revolutionised the way our world collected power. They solved the energy crisis and many problems in our world along with it. Our economy flourished, political tensions dissolved, and I heard tell even a number of riots had broken out over rising energy prices. Suffice it to say those came to a halt as well.
But there was one less welcome change to come with it. The foundation, the very principles of many monsters' lives and what they aspired to be was slowly being taken away from them. Scaring was no longer the chief method of energy collection. Amusing or whatever the preferred term may be, making human children laugh was the new way. And of course, it was quick to catch on.
Monsters lost jobs. Educational institutions crumbled. Businesses fell. I watched many a grown monster weep and beg. Some monsters lost their very will to live…
[A short pause follows. A saddened sigh is heard.]
I lost a few friends when the change began. And many more monsters I would have considered acquaintances. It was truly a phenomenon to behold, and not one I would ever experience again in my lifetime should I have the choice.
Of course, it was through no fault of Sullivan's own. The benefit far outweighed the bad. He did what was necessary. In a way he saved us. All of us. Surely a monster cannot be blamed for that.
Though… not everyone saw it that way at first. Many monsters rebelled against the very idea of it. And, shamefully, I must count myself amongst that number. Amusing threatened a lot of monsters' very existence. Not everyone was ready to adapt so quickly. Many considered it an insult against tradition, one that has been adhered to for thousands of years. And some simply considered it an insult against themselves. Degrading, belittling, humiliating…
We have come a long way since then, I think. There are some out there who still think that way, but on the whole I believe Amusing has come to earn quite a favourable reputation. And rightly so! But, it seems now we are on the verge of losing the very last remnants of the Scaring industry.
You see, for the benefit of those who don't know, Scaring still prevailed after Amusing took over, albeit on a much smaller scale. Laughter was a new energy source, one that had yet to be effectively refined as useful energy. Although Laughter was invaluable, refining it was a difficult process and the method had not yet been perfected. As such, Scream was still a viable energy source with refinement methods already proven to be effective. And so, some companies opted to stay in the Scream collection business.
The factories that continued in this vein were flocked to by many Scarers who had lost their jobs. Fear Co. was one such factory. My career was actually under threat at that time. You see, companies such as this one had practically unlimited choice of every Scarer there ever was! And although I am very good at what I do, there were those who were better. And there were those who would settle to work for a much lesser wage. I, myself had to accept a lower salary to keep my job.
But, despite the initial turbulence at that time, the Scarers that were left were eventually able to live and work comfortably. We were able to continue doing what we loved. Life for us was peaceful. And so it remained for another twenty years.
Now, however, it seems the time has come. Methods now exist for Laughter to be refined just as effectively, and so now Scream is no longer useful. This… truly is it. There is no more use for Scarers such as myself. Within a week the career will no longer exist.
Granted, we have had more time to prepare for this, and most are ready to move on. But… I have been hesitant. I simply did not want to be comfortable doing anything else, and so I have made it impossible for myself. Come next week, I will no longer know what to do with myself. I have enough money to retire comfortably; I have even had offers to work in administration and business management. But none of these options are viable. Scaring is, has been, and always will be my passion. I have left no room for anything else.
My future has been doomed by my own hand…
[A long pause follows. It should be noted that Mr. Worthington is given a visual prompt to continue.]
Yes, let's not dwell on that. I suppose the main thing I wanted to say is, now that I am facing the biggest change in my life, one in which all of my life's work could quite possibly count for naught…
[A deep breath being drawn in and exhaled can be heard.]
I have… taken the time to question the choices I have made in life. Not all of them have been the right choice, and perhaps a little hesitation could have prevented them. I… haven't exactly been a shining example of morality. There are many monsters I have hurt, perhaps far beyond what could be forgiven. The first was probably back in my days at college, freshman year if memory serves. I was thrust straight into presidency of my fraternity and I… didn't exactly conduct myself as well as perhaps I should have.
Unfortunately, I have also seen first-hand the consequences of my actions. Many monsters were saddened more by my betrayals than others. Some… perhaps if we were to meet, some would tell me I had quite the negative impact in their lives. And I know one monster in particular… well, I already know. I know perhaps I wasn't the sole factor involved, but certainly my actions helped change one monster into something he wasn't. He committed a crime, one not easily forgiven, and I do feel that was at least partially my fault. I hear he has been doing well since coming back from banishment, so I suppose that is something…
I tried contacting him, once. I didn't hear word back from him, but I suppose that was to be expected… All I wanted to do was apologise. I didn't expect forgiveness, I didn't even expect him to be friendly, but to be able to apologise at the very least…
[A short pause follows.]
Anyway, I did eventually realise that my own selfish desires should not take precedence over others. Perhaps I realised it too late, but I do like to think I gradually became a better monster. I know that in no way does becoming who I am now forgive what I've done in the past, but… No, it really doesn't, does it..?
[A saddened sigh is heard.]
'What goes around comes around.' It is a crude phrase, but one rather befitting I suppose. Some say bad monsters deserve bad things, and I've had my fair share of monsters saying the exact same to me. Who knows? Perhaps the predicament I now find myself in really is some form of karmic retribution. I do not doubt the fact that I deserve it.
My friends would perhaps defend a lot of my actions. Putting it down to stress, or outside influence. And yes, some of what I've done really was influenced by outside forces. Now, I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but my father didn't exactly allow me the freedom I would have liked growing up. In fact it was probably only once I'd graduated college that I really took the reins of my own life. But even if a lot of my decisions weren't my own in the strictest sense… it doesn't make them right. And it doesn't excuse me for making them.
[A short pause follows.]
I look back on my life and, quite honestly, I don't like what I see. For all my accomplishments, my struggles… my life is so empty. And it will only be emptier in a week's time. Scaring has taken up so much of my life that I literally have nothing else! I have a small handful of friends and I will be eternally grateful that they have stuck by me for so long, but… But I…
[A couple of sniffs and a small sob can be heard.]
I don't think I have anything else to live for… I only now realise why so many monsters did what they did twenty years ago. I doubt I will do the same, but my biggest fear is that my life will become merely an existence. That I will just float through life, doing much of nothing, not really living at all. My passion will soon be gone, and I will have none left.
My friends and my mother will undoubtedly be there for me, but I feel they will be the only ones I continue living for. There was never any time for romance in my life, and I have no children of my own, much to my regret. I have no wisdom to pass on because it will now be obsolete.
[A small laugh can be heard.]
I have done absolutely nothing with my life! Once I am gone from this world, nothing will be left of me. There will be no reason to remember me. My biggest goal in life was to make my own mark, to make a name for myself, but what does that matter in an industry that will soon be dead?
All those monsters I have hurt… Careers ruined, lives ruined… All for nothing! The only thing I have really succeeded in is ensuring I am despised by those undeserving of what I had done to them.
I was so intent on earning a reputation that, for that very same reason, I will have no reputation at all… There will be nothing left… Nothing…
[A short pause follows.]
I think… I think, quite honestly… this has broken me…
[A short pause follows before a deep, rattled breath being taken in and exhaled can be heard.]
I'm sorry... I don't have anything left to say.
[Interview terminated.]