A/N: A one-shot becomes a two-shot thanks to pezz. You're the hero merlinians need, but not the one they deserve right now.

Disclaimer: The software I use to write does not recognise 'prat' as a word. Obviously we are no longer friends. (What do you mean, 'That's not how disclaimers work'?)

Leon was heading from the armoury to his room when he spotted Merlin staggering about in the hallway. "What happened?" he said worriedly, placing one of Merlin's arms around his shoulders.

"Gwaine thought it was funny to swap my wine for 'something better' when we were dining with the prat."

Leon gently steered them towards Gaius' chambers. Arthur had tried to get his court sorcerer lodgings befitting his status but Merlin had heard none of it, refusing to leave his tiny room.

"I don't like Gwaine's hair you know," Merlin said suddenly out of nowhere. "Bouncing everywhere and getting in my mouth when I have to drag his sorry hide home from the tavern."

"I agree with you," Leon said, humouring his drunk friend. "We can have Percy sit on him while we cut it, you and me."

"I'm going to cut yours too someday," Merlin continued happily.

Leon had to force himself to not swat away Merlin's hand that was tugging at one of his curls playfully. "Here we are then," he said, stopping in front of the door. "Want me to take you inside and find a draught that'll help you with the headache tomorrow?"

Merlin didn't seem to hear him. "Sir Leon the brave and noble. Always there to help and protect the people."

"So do you, Merlin. I think you are braver than all of us."

"That's right, I am," Merlin said angrily. "Not only am I braver than you, I'm smarter, stronger and more handsome. I am kind to everyone regardless of their status and I am loyal to the cabbage-head. Even more than you are!"

"Sure you are," Leon cut him off.

Merlin squinted his eyes. "You don't believe me?"

The silence meeting his words only seemed to confirm his suspicions. "I have saved numerous people. The turnip-head alone I have saved more times than you have ever held a sword!"

"And yet the king never calls me a girl." Leon knew it was a low blow, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"He doesn't?" Merlin raised an eyebrow at him. "I'll be sure to tell him how good you look in a dress then. Maybe that'll change his mind."

Leon gasped, horrified. "Gwen told you?!"

"Of course she did. I'm her bestest friend." Merlin frowned, unhappy with his last sentence.

Leon was starting to sweat. Praying to all the gods he could think of that Arthur never heard of this, he closed his eyes and said, "I have kissed the queen." At Merlin's look he added hastily, "When we were young of course."

"Gwen kissed me," Merlin said easily.

Leon was getting desperate. Throwing caution to the wind he whispered his deepest, darkest secret. "I think I'm immortal."

He couldn't stop Merlin slipping from his shoulders while his body shook with laughter. "Immortal? You?! Your parents paid some druid to have a good luck charm cast over you. Shouldn't last more than a year now."

Opening the door after a few unsuccessful attempts Merlin managed to slip inside, but not before Leon could hear him snorting, "Immortal indeed."

A/N: I didn't want to do another chapter but now that I've done, I hope it was up to par. Reviews are lovely things ;)