Thinking With Portals

By: Kuroyami Fukaikuro

I still don't own shit 'cept the story and OC's.

A/N: EHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE E HOO HOO HOO!

Chapter One: Fionna's Deal

"Fionna? What kind of a name is that?" Finn asked.

"What's your name then?" Fionna asked.

"Finn."

"What kind of a name is Finn?"

"What are you?"

"I'm human… The only human left on Aaa."

"Well, here, you're not the only human, if you are human. And where is Aaa? This is Ooo. Hold on a second." Finn left the chamber. "Did you get all that?" he asked Dante.

"Eeyup."

"Did you just knock her out and not check to see what she was? Like with me?"

"Eeyup."

Finn sighed. "Do you have some technology that will check?"

"Yes." Dante pushed a button and scanner surrounded Fionna's body. After it finished scanning, it printed the results. Seraphim checked.

"She's telling the truth. She's human."

"Man, we have got to start asking stuff before knocking people out." Dante said. He opened the door, went in, and sat down on a chair in front of her. "Tell me, child," he said, "what's your story?"

Fionna looked up. "I was the last human on Aaa… until I discovered two humans in the Ice Queendom. Their names were Shinobu Althea and her fiancé, Hermes. They had survived the Cloud-That-Looks-Like-Tree War and I was helping them adapt… but then, Shinobu suddenly overthrew my rule of the Human Kingdom with an army of clones… her fiancé, now her husband, captured my friend Marshall Lee and spends every day torturing him. Me and my other friends, Cake, Prince Gumball, and Seraphinus attacked her castle with the Ice Queen, and I managed to fight my way to her… but I lost, and was almost killed- we barely escaped with Marshall."

"Up until the torture and you losing, your story seemed extremely familiar. You have our help."

"Really?"

"Maybe." Dante left the room, untying her first, and closed the door. "So, should we help her?"

"Yes we should," said Finn. "because she's in the situation we were in, except she lost. Why did she lose?"

"Let's ask her." Dante let Fionna out and sat her in a chair. "How did Shinobu take over?"

"I just woke up and an army of clones ran me out."

"There was no duel? No coma, no amnesia?"

She shook her head. "None."

"I see. We'll help you. For real."

"Thank you!"

"So, how do we get to Aaa?"

"Can I get my weapons back first? My mom's sword is my personal favorite."

"Oh, sure." He went in a room and came back with some weapons and armor, and a sword that looked exactly like Finn's did before it transformed. She put on the armor, which made her look a bit like a character from another game Finn played, Hilde from Soul Calibur 5 (I just love video games, okay?). She held the sword in her right hand and her spear in her left.

"So," Finn asked Dante, "where did you find her?"

"I didn't find her. She came to us."

"And you just captured her?"

"She was screaming and waving her sword around like a madwoman! And she shot at me with her crossbow!"

"You threw a knife at me! And she threw some fire magic at me! And then you both set a dragon on me! My actions were completely justified!"

Finn looked at Dante. "Really? Just, really?"

Dante shrugged sheepishly. "Um, my bad? Anyways, let's focus on the task at hand. How did you get here?"

"There is a portal that connects these lands. I found it accidentally while running from Shinobu."

"Well then, take us to it."

They left his house and Fionna led them through the forest to a clearing of blood red flowers.

"Wait," she said, "the flowers are the wrong color…" suddenly she collapsed face-first into the ground.

"What the-" but that's all Finn could say before he, and then all of them suffered the same fate.

A woman with long, grayish-silver hair and blood-red eyes walked into the clearing accompanied by a man with black hair with red highlights and ocean blue eyes.

"Well, well, husband, what do we have here?" the woman said.

"It's the girl, and it seems she's attempted to go for help."

"It's a pity it will have been a fruitless endeavor. Bring them back to castle Althea."

"You got it. Alright, you heard the lady, bring 'em back!" A number of clones came out of the trees and picked up the bodies before putting them on stretchers.

The woman stuck out her hand and said, in a perfect copy of Fionna's voice, "The Savior demands your compliance! Open!" There was a shimmer in the air, and the portal opened. They carried the unconscious travelers through the hole.

…

Althea Castle, Aaa

Marceline awoke on a pile of broken candy people bits. "Eww," she said as she dislodged herself from the pile. She stood up and looked around at her cell. She calmly walked towards the door and looked out. Then she heard a voice that she had not heard in centuries.

"Marceline? Is that you?"

"Marshall?"

End of Chapter One.

Please review.

A/N: Holy Acquaintances Batman! The Vampire King and Queen know each other! But how? Tune in next time for another episode of, Dante Adan: Gentleman Adventurer! (NOT)