Elena's POV
Despite Damon's wording of "get in your car right now", she had taken a moment to pull herself together; freshen up her clothes, pack a few extra items in the bag she now always had packed "just in case", and lock up the house before leaving. Despite her eagerness to get to Damon she was also able to reason with herself to not drive too fast. Vampire or not, she still didn't have a good record of driving at night. So as she drove, she scanned the road and her surroundings. She couldn't help but notice how clear the sky was on this night. It was a new moon and the stars were so bright. She couldn't help but think that despite all the darkness that surrounded her life, she still had so many bright moments in her life, much like those stars. Those stars probably looked great out at the Lake House.
The Lake House had always been filled with such happy memories for her, that she had been devastated when Damon had sent her away. She had felt like that safety and security that she always felt there had been stolen from her. But she also saw how badly Damon wanted to be the good guy for her and finally for himself, that in a small way she had been proud of him. She was angry at him, but still proud.
Now though she was so happy that Damon wanted her with him again but she could not shake the anguish that was in his voice as he vowed to help her get this cure. The cure had only been inviting danger back into the lives of all those that she loved. Granted she had / does want it. But there are a lot of things that she wants. That doesn't mean that she wanted Jeremy to be turned into a vampire hunter just so that she could be human again. But with Klaus sacrificing all of his hybrids, getting the cure and being a blood bag to create hybrids was about the only way to stop her friends from being killed. It was about the only way to make sure that she wasn't killed. And now that Rebecca and Kol were back in the mix of Original's temper tantrums, giving them what they wanted was a lot easier than fighting them. Especially that Caroline and Stephan had been so stupid to think they could wield the one weapon they had, Alaric's stake. The only one of all of them that was strong enough and smart enough to not have lost that was Damon. But Caroline and Stephan had to tag team in the "we know best" game. Grrr… she couldn't help but growl. When Damon found out, she was sure that he would be growling too. That made her smile.
Needless to say though, a fuzzy feeling of safety as she walked down the street in Mystic Falls wasn't really the state of mind that she was in. No, being a vampire made her strong. Even with the sire bond, being a vampire also gave her an independence that she had never had before. She didn't always have to be physically protected, and short of a stake to the heart she didn't have to experience death, yet again. Yes, she had wanted a family and to grow old, but that was also before she felt how liberating it was to be free like this. She loved and missed her family so much, that all she wanted was to go back or become that girl again who had parents. And if she couldn't have parents, she guessed that she then was to be the parent. That was all that she had ever known. But after her parents died, she can't deny the number of people that have been there for her and who have loved her. Where she had thought that she was alone, her friends showed her that she would still always be loved. And now that most of her friends were immortals, if she went back to being human she would be leaving them.
Plus, there was the Damon factor. How could she live in a world without Damon? But more importantly how could she and Damon have a lasting relationship unless they were equals? But is that enough? He loves her unconditionally, that she doesn't doubt. And for her, human or vampire she too has also loved Damon, just maybe not with the clearest of heads. Being a vampire had given her insight to how Damon thinks. How he reacts. He gives, and gives, and gives of himself and thinks that no one notices. Probably because they don't. And though he will never admit it, she knows he needs love. He needs trust. He too, though needs safety and security. How is he ever going to feel sure of himself, if he is always having to worry whether a ride to the grocery store is going to kill her or not?
On the other side of the argument, what if Damon was to join her in taking the cure? What if she and Damon could have a life? Would he want that? It isn't lost on her that at first Damon did not want to be a vampire unless he had Katherine. He has always wanted a life filled with love. Would he want a short life with her filled with love after all these years? They could always get Caroline and Stephan to turn them back to vampires after they got the chance to do some of those things that only humans could do. Klaus could get his blood supply for a short time. Stephan would have the opportunity to actually kill his brother. And if she had Caroline turn her, there would not be a chance of her living a life of a vampire that was under the influence of a sire bond.
She knows that Damon would say she is being too dramatic and over thinking this because its simple. He wants what she wants. He always does. He did tonight. But what if she wants what he wants? Sire bond be damned… What if she just wants a life of not living in fear, of "being more alive" than ever before, and while all along loving Damon Salvatore. She knows she is going to have to prove to him still that she loved him prior to the sire bond. That is why one of the extra things she packed in her bag was her diary. She had time to go through it while she had been at the house alone these past days, and she marked all the pages where she argued with herself, gushed to herself, and confessed to herself that she Elena Gilbert loves Damon Salvatore. Her loves was real before her turning, and she knows as she had told Damon that it's the most real thing she has ever felt before in her life.
As she turned onto the drive to the Lake House, her happiness takes over all questions and concerns.