AN: Here is the second chapter! Please please please review!

I heard her crying almost immediately. Ya. Totally right outside my door. Like thanks Mom. Way to make your son feel super special! She was super loud too, so of course my dad ran to see what happened. I guess she didn't say anything, so he flung my door open. He probably assumed I was like dead or bleeding all over or something. It would have been better if I had. Seriously. His face went totally blank and again my door shut without a word.

I was still on my bed stuck in shock. I had been laying on my stomach with my feet waving back and forth to my music. Totally one of the worst ways I could have been sitting. Especially since the way my bed faces, I'm pretty sure my mother totally saw my hot pink ladies' panties peaking out from under the folds of my skirt.

Ya. Totally screwed.

They didn't talk to me the rest of that day. They left the house and didn't come back until the next afternoon. They didn't say anything to me. It was like I had totally disappeared. To this day they haven't said a word about what they saw. And since I moved out to go to college they haven't said a word to me. They put money into my bank account to pay my tuition, fees, housing, and all that junk. They send me a check at Christmas. They never say anything about my birthday. I haven't spoken to them in two years. The money keeps coming but I never get a phone call. The last bit of my senior year was totally hell. They only spoke to me when they absolutely had to. I was like completely invisible most of the time.

If there is one thing I hate it is being forgotten or ignored. Pay attention to me damn it! I am so totally wonderful that no one should not look at me and talk to me. Over the years though I've become painfully shy.

Literally. I get so nervous about meeting people my guts clench. Worst feeling ever. Seriously.

At college it has gotten even worse. When I started my freshman year I totally promised myself I'd only wear what I wanted. And I totally have. I look like so hot all the time. You'd melt if you saw me. Totally. Anyway! I still have no friends. I walk through the halls and on campus like I'm a model. When I have to talk to people though? Babe I start to shake. It sucks.

And so at the beginning of the fall semester my sophomore year I was feeling totally shitty and ready to just give up on everything. It was at that point where I started thinking about dying. I like completely didn't want to. But you get to that point where you're all like 'Well damn. This sucks. I'm in pain. Maybe it would be better.' It's not like you're all 'Hey there I suuuper want to die how can I go about that in the most painful way possible?'

Nope. That's totally not me. I'm a pain wimp. Amazingly so. I'd rather just fall asleep and wake up when everything is super sunny and awesome.

It'd be sooo nice. If only right?

That's what I was thinking when this dude tripped on my foot and fell forward dropping all his books and papers. Like seriously though? Who has that much shit to carry on the first day of class? I had one notebook and one pen. Both were super cute too! I had fiiinally found a pack of gel-pens! Remember when those were all over? God I miss those days. Anyways. So he like totally tripped on my high heel wearing foot and face planted right in front of me.

"Shit dude are you like okay?" I leaned forward but didn't feel like helping him. Why bother? Once I got up he'd totally freak once he saw all of what I was wearing. There was a reason all the seats around me were totally empty.

"I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you. A-are you alright?" This boy is so weird. He's picking himself up off the floor with a skinned chin and asking ME if I'M okay?

"Seriously? I'm totally fine. What about you? Your face is... well like completely pink and bleeding." He had started to pick his papers up and I finally got to look at his face.

I've liked boys my whole life. Seriously. I've never liked a girl. Never even got close to thinking of one that way. Even in all that time though I've never just looked at someone and thought 'Damn.'

But that's what I thought.

'Damn.'

Maybe it wasn't just his face, which was so totally cute I thought I'd die right there, but everything about him. Seriously though who else would stutter in that cute voice and blush that much?

I knew right then I wanted him. I think I told you before I don't do new people. It is like the worst thing ever. But when I saw him... I knew I had to try. There was no way this was going to slip through my fingers.

He still had a few papers on the floor, and though I was totally late on my reaction I got out of my seat and picked up the last few with him. He blushed and thanked me. Then he looked at me.

Ya he toootally hadn't noticed earlier what I was wearing. But I'll tell you! It was the cuuutest little black pleated skit with these roses embroidered one of the front left pleats. That paired with a red top that fit my body perfectly showing of my thin waist and slightly feminine hips- finally got a little bit of a figure! By this time my hair had grown to my chin and I had pined it back with a little red clip. To top it all with off my sexy red heels- sweetie I looked so good!

Still though that blush was a deeper red than any of my accessories. For a minute I thought I'd totally shit myself.

I mean seriously? Give me a break! Here was this totally perfect guy sitting in front of me. The only guy I'd wanted when I first saw him and he was totally staring at me as if I was a Halloween ride. Fake ghosts and all.

Shit. Scared off another one.

"T-thank you so much. I-I really am sorry about tripping on you..." That adorable bit of man in front of me dropped his eyes. He hadn't run off yet though so that was... like a good sign right?

"Totally! Sorry I like was super slow to move!" Shit. I had started that totally lame nervous laugh I get. Pretty boy looked back up at me and smiled again. Completely still beet red. He stood and after a minute of my brain being totally stupid- ok so I had to watch him! How could I not stare a little at those blue eyes? Anyway my brain FINALLY remembered what was going on and said 'Feliks get the fuck off the floor or you will look like even dumber to this boy than you already do!'

Ya that got me up.

I awkwardly went to sit back in my seat and he just stood there. What was he thinking? Oh God please be thinking you want to sit near me! Oh God please!

"U-um..." Ok that was a start... Come on Pretty Boy! You're like even worse at speaking than I am!

"Ya?" Wow. Thanks brain! Was that like the best you could do? I shifted and tugged the hem of my skirt down. It suddenly felt super short and I was worried I hadn't gotten everything when I'd shaved.

Seriously Feliks? Like he'll be looking at your legs.

"S-sorry again." Okay. That totally was not was I was going for.

"It's like totally no big deal!" Smooth Feliks. You just totally got a date with him. That's why he's walking to the front of the room and sitting sooo far away from you! Why does this always happen? And why are my intestines churning with that way too familiar feeling? I don't even know where the bathroom in this building. Damn it. Maybe it'll stop if I just wait.

Have I mentioned I sooo hate how shy I am? I totally wasn't always like this I swear. When I was younger before my parents stopped paying attention to me I was loud. I mean like super loud. My parents actually liked me then- I think. We went out and did stuff as a family and they'd like take me to get ice cream and shit. It was totally fun. When I was like eight was when it started to change. My parents both worked when I was young and both were in jobs they totally liked. I tried to be okay with it when they stopped being home as much. But I was like a little kid with no siblings okay? It got super lonely. I'd always wanted some siblings even if I totally try to play it off like I don't care.

I think I was a total accident. My parents never said anything to me. But I heard them talking one time when I was... hell I like don't remember. Old enough to know what birth control was and what it meant that my mom had stopped taking hers. I guess she didn't tell my dad and then I showed up. I guess they like tried to be happy with me or something. Their jobs were what they really wanted though. I like totally couldn't compare to their dreams right?

Shitty I know.

So anyway I like totally stopped being able to talk to them. When I tried they were all like "Feliks, Mom and Dad have work they have to do. Could you please play in your room quietly?" So that's totally what I did. I had trouble though. I wasn't one of those quiet kids that could just sit and read a dumb book and be happy. I totally wanted to run around and play games and yell and stuff. So I just did that in my room. Quietly. Alone. Totally awesome childhood right?

Hell no.

So all that shit at home ended up spilling over into school. Plus one day I made the mistake of saying I liked to wear dresses. I got in sooo many fights after that. And I like lost every single one. Grade school totally sucked.

Middle school wasn't any better, but I knew what people thought about the things I liked. This time around at least I like kept my mouth shut. I had no friends all through middle school and high school. I only talked to a few people online after my parents bought me a computer when I went into high school. I think they thought I'd like use it to study and shit. Like what kind of kid would do that? Not me! So I made a few friends online, and this was totally fine with my parents. It's not like they knew what I was doing, but I was quiet and in my room so they were like "You're growing into such a fine young man."

High school was when the stomach stuff started. I would get so nervous I wouldn't be able to go to school sometimes because I'd be stuck in the bathroom. Totally the most embarrassing thing ever. It still happens like all the time but I can sort of deal now. I can tell when it will go away and when I like need to run to the nearest toilet like I'm being chased by... something totally fast. Like a cheetah or something.

Anyway. I've been super shy for a while now. My friends online were all like "Moncheryoushouldgetoutmoreandmeetpeople.Yourprincecouldbeouttherewaitingandyouaresimplytooshytostepoutsidethedoor.Ridicule!" Like okay Francis but when it's either talk to someone new and start shaking so much that you look like you live in Siberia or staying safely away- totally doing the second.

So here I am stuck in a stupid Russian literature class with some creepy professor- like honestly though? Who the hell wears a scarf inside in the middle of August? Are you like insane? From the way his voice sounds maybe he is. He totally creeps me out. Anyway. My stupid guts are still mad and Pretty Boy is sitting all the way across the room and here I am brooding over my shitty life. Lucky me! Oh ya. Totally.

Class ended and Pretty Boy got up to talk to Creepy Russian. Damn why was he taking so long? I was totally hoping I could like somehow manage to be like "Oh hey there! Like sorry about earlier! Is your face feeling totally better?" Or something like that... Okay like something a lot smoother but still! You get the idea.

My plan was ruined though. Creepy Russian got waaay too excited when talking to Pretty Boy. Like honestly dude? Back the hell up. Is it even legal to look at a student like that? Creep.

So I left in total shame, totally alone. Like a totally normal day.

That night I whined for like forever to Francis over chat. He just told me to grow some balls and hit on Pretty Boy. But I like totally didn't want to do anything like THAT with a rose. Like seriously though? Sounds totally painful and that would soooo scare off Pretty Boy.

He's probably straight.

Damn. Probably.

I just went to bed trying not to cry like every other night. My neighbors would hear me and totally complain again. At least I wasn't in the shitty dorms anymore. That was like the worst thing ever. They had given me some random asshole for a roommate and he was like "What the fuck? Why are you wearing a skirt you fag?"

I blew him a kiss and he would have beat the shit out of me if the RA hadn't been walking down the hall. Totally glad I had left the door open when I walked in. Anyway so after like all this shit they had to give me my own room. I totally didn't mind though. It was completely perfect for me. But I had to keep my door locked even if I was in my room. Why are people so totally shitty? One night I was crying super hard and trying to keep it down. The whole floor started yelling at me and pounding on the walls. Both sides and out in the hall. Ever since then I've tried to be quiet when I cry. It's like super tough though. I have a really loud cry. I sound like so stupid.

Eventually I fell asleep.

AN: I do not know any French, so if I messed anything up please let me know! Also please review and make an author happy! : )