Title: The Closet

Summary: A what happened next for the episode Mind Games.

Warnings: Spoilers for Mind Games

There was a knock on the door. "Face, you alright in there?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute," he said, tearing some toilet paper off the roll to dry his eyes. He swayed as he stood up, and held on to the sink waiting to regain his equilibrium. He took a look at himself in the mirror and groaned at what he saw: a complete mess. And when Face opened the door moments later, Hannibal couldn't help but notice the same thing.

"Geez, kid, you look awful."

Face gave a hollow laugh. "Thanks a lot." He moved past Hannibal and sat down on the bed. "I've had better days," he tried to joke.

Hannibal took a seat next to Face. "You wanna talk about it?"

Face shook his head 'no'. "There's nothing to talk about. I messed up and acted like a fool."

"True," Hannibal admitted. "But haven't we all at some point?" He didn't wait for an answer before adding, "we're really sorry it didn't work out for you, but we're not sorry you'll be sticking around."

Face looked over at him and smiled. "Thanks."

"Now, about what happened at the VA..."

Face cut him off. "It was nothing," he said with as much conviction as he could muster up.

Hannibal wasn't convinced; he had heard Face getting sick from the other room. And looking at the pale face, red-rimmed eyes and sweat soaked torso of his friend, he knew all was not right with the younger man. He also looked as if he were about to drop from exhaustion and Hannibal decided now might not be the time to push things.

Hannibal stood up and put his hand on Face's shoulder. "Okay, kid. Let's put this last week behind us and move on. No real damage done, right?"

Face nodded. "Right," he said, though he knew it was a lie...he had been damaged. He made his own bed and now he had to lie in it. But right now he just wanted to pull the covers over his head and hide.

Face sped down the highway in his Corvette. Top down and music blaring, he tried to block everything else from his mind. Ironically, being locked inside the closet a couple of weeks earlier had unlocked memories of a past he had been trying to leave behind.

Dressed up in his "doctor" gear, complete with white lab coat and stethoscope around the neck, Face pulled into the hospital parking lot. He sat there for a bit trying to work out the details of how he was going to get into Murdock's room. Suddenly, it all seemed like too much effort. He was exhausted and he cringed at the thought of having to work his charms on some nurse for the next fifteen minutes.

"Time to do this the old fashioned way," he mumbled as he quickly made his way along the outdoor path. He took a look around to make sure nobody was watching before he jumped and grabbed the fire escape ladder. Pulling himself up, he climbed the rest of the way until he was right under Murdock's window. Face paused for a second trying to catch his breath, surprised at how winded he was.

He knocked on the window and waited for a singing Murdock to let him in. "Knock three times on the window if you want me..."

"Murdock, I believe it's 'knock on the ceiling'," Face corrected while ducking his head and climbing inside.

"Knocking on the ceiling would require a ladder," Murdock replied matter of factly. "You know Faceguy, my doctors don't usually break in through my window when they want to see me."

Face had forgotten that he was still donning his physician apparel. "Um...yeah...last minute change in plans." He sat down on the bed with a sigh.

Face wasn't himself since the false pardon. Murdock could almost feel the tension building up inside of him. Face was the ultimate control freak; he liked everything to appear perfect from the outside. Everything had to be in place, and this included his emotions. There was a place for them, but it was hidden deep inside where only he could find them. But now they uncharacteristically seemed to be rising to the surface.

Face stood and began pacing back and forth across the room. Not wanting to say the wrong thing and shut Face down, Murdock decided to stay quiet and let Face lead the conversation. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long before Face blurted out, "I started having nightmares again."

Murdock raised his eyebrows, but still said nothing. Face had suffered from awful nightmares in the years immediately following Nam.

"They feel so real. God…I don't know if I can go through this…don't know if I can handle the dreams again." Face stopped pacing and ran a shaking hand through his hair. "Is it hot in here or is it me?" he asked.

Murdock got up, put his arm around Face and led him back over to the bed. "Why don't you just sit back down for a minute, muchacho?

"I'm just so...so...," Face stammered looking down at his hands as if the answer was written there.

"Just say it...let it out."

"Tired. I'm just tired." Face lay back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"Have you tried to talk to Hannibal about any of this?"

Face snorted, "Yeah right, he'll just tell me I'm getting soft and make me scale down a mountain or something. No, thank you." He closed his eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't come here to cry on your shoulder."

Murdock looked down at his right shoulder and gave it a wiggle. "You sure? This shoulder is all warmed up and ready to go…it's water resistant too." When Face didn't so much as crack a smile, Murdock looked down at him with concern. "You sure you're feeling alright, Faceman?"

Realizing that he had let his guard slip, Face immediately sat up and changed the subject. "We better get out of here before somebody catches us."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that," Murdock said while grabbing his bomber jacket. "We have some new orderlies around here that are still learning the ropes."

Face felt his stomach drop; it was probably one of them that had stuck him inside of that closet. He broke out in a cold sweat and had the sudden urge to run. He practically knocked over Murdock in his haste to get back out the window.

"Face!" Murdock called once he had righted himself. "And they say I'm they crazy one," he muttered as he took chase after his fleeing friend.