On The Job Chapter 2
I'M NOT DEAD!
Okay. So let me explain my absence. My laptop stopped working, so I've been having to use my mom's laptop for the past few months and I didn't want to save any fics on her laptop for various reasons. But, this is a special one….not really, but a lot of people seem to like it.
This chapter will hopefully be longer than the intro. Enjoy.
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I have been standing in front of this register for about 4 hours, 20 minutes, and 15.2 seconds and, so far, it's really, really boring. No one has come in yet, so everyone's looking for ways to kill time.
Nutty is eating all the ice cream, though he always does that. Cro-Marmot somehow locked The Mole in the freezer (not sure if it was an accident or what). Petunia is cleaning everything and having mini-spaz attacks while doing so. Cuddles is bugging me about something and I am trying to ignore him. It's very difficult.
"Hey, Flippy. Flippy. Flips! Yo, Flipster! Flippy!" Cuddles whispers, poking my arm.
I turn to him slowly. "What is it, Cuddles?"
He gets this Cheshire cat grin on him. "Hi." And then he runs away laughing maniacally. He returns a minute later with a Coke and looks at me blankly. "Dude, what are you doing?"
"My job." I say without looking at him.
"But there's no one here 'cept for you, me, and all those other guys." He dodges an ice cream cone Nutty threw from afar. "So I was thinking, you and me should do something. Like play a harmless joke, that kind of thing."
"Wouldn't we get fired?"
"Lumpy's not here. Besides, I got all these ideas." He pulls out this huge book from god-knows-where.
I look through the pages. "There's only one thing in here and it says, 'Step 1: lock everyone in the freezer, Step 2: ?, Step 3, Achieve world domination.'"
"EXACTLY!" Nutty pops up behind me, clearly hyper on ice cream. "You see, Cuddles and me planned that out last night during our band sleepover-meeting-thing."
"Since when were you guys in a band?"
"There's a new guy in Happy Tree Town. He started one with me, Nutty, and Toothy. We're gonna have a world tour one day." Cuddles stared into space. "Anyways, world domination!"
"YES!" Nutty jumped on top of the counter and raised a paw triumphantly. "Flippy, get rid of Cro-Marmot, I got Petunia, Cuddles, Begin phase 2 on my mark!"
Cuddles and I exchanged glances and asked in unison, "What's your mark?"
Nutty tapped his chin and snapped his fingers, "Ca-Caw! Ke-Kee!"
"Got it!" Cuddles curled into a ball of yellow fluff and rolled into the corner.
"What are you waiting for, Soldier? An invitation? GO!" Nutty yelled and jumped off the counter.
Feeling, I didn't have much of a choice, I spotted Cro-Marmot, and pushed him in the freezer with The Mole (who was also frozen solid). Cro didn't seem to mind too much. I heard Petunia scream nearby, Evil chuckled in my head. 'These two sure know how to have fun.' He told me. Just shut it, Evil, they don't what they're- I started to say, but then I spotted Nutty carrying Petunia, who was tied up with toilet paper and has a plunger stuck to her mouth, and throw her in the freezer.
'You were saying?' Evil asked. 'You know, I kinda want in on this.' He mused. I was at a loss for words. "Ca-Caw! Ka-Kee!" Nutty called from on top of a table.
"BEGIN PHASE 2!" Cuddles yelled, charging at me with a spatula. I stepped out of his way and he ran into a wall. "Ouch." He rubbed his nose and turned to me. "Flippy, you're the most important part of this phase. If anyone knows how to achieve world domination, it's you! Well, Evil you, anyway."
I blinked. "Are you crazy? You said this was a joke!"
"That, my good friend, was bait. Besides, you locked Cro-Marmot in the freezer."
"He likes it in the freezer!"
"So, you betray us!"
"Wait, what?"
"NUTTY, GET THE SHOVEL!"
"What are you talking ab-" a sharp pain on my head and I was out like a light.
When I did come to, stuff was on fire, things were overturned, windows were broken, and the place generally looked like crap. "What happened?"
Cuddles..limped (?) toward me. He had a black eye and laughed nervously. "We asked Evil for advice on how to take over the world, and Nutty pissed him off, and we got in a fight."
"Me? You had just as much to do with it!" Nutty's tail was missing and so was part of his right ear.
Cuddles rolled his eyes. "Anyways, the fight was so awesome! You should've been there, man! As a good guy, I mean."
I sat there in shock. "Are the others okay?"
"Cro-Marmot's fine. Everyone else, not so much. We used them as weapons since they were frozen." Nutty explained.
I lay down on my back and stared at the giant hole in the ceiling. "We are so fired."
And, just like that, Lumpy appeared. "Hey, boys!" he said, cheerfully, looking around. "Woah, I love what you've done with the place. Real edgy. Like something out of Left 4 Dead or something. Yeah. Oh, anyways, I came to tell you that you didn't have to come to work today."
"WE WHAT?" the three of us yelled in unison.
"Yeah, on my calendar, it's some sort of summer holiday. Well, enjoy your day off!" he said as he skipped off merrily.
And that is why you should always check your calendar.
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So, love it? Hate it? Say what you want about it! In a review, that is. ;)