DISCLAIMER : I do not own Bleach or Percy Jackson!

~Chapter 2: My Camp Kills A Forest

"So, explain to me what is happening again?" I asked. With all the weirdness happening to me in my life right now, putting things together is getting really challenging. Right now if I were to put two and two together, I would probably end up with anything but four.

As we walked along the side of the park, this mysterious woman kept an emotionless stare, as if she could see her destination before we even got there.

"Uhhm...excuse me, miss Ikea, where are we going, exactly?" Grover said as he played with his fingers. Even he was wary to ask her a question, as if she was a teacher that only liked the students that had raised their hands in class.

Ikea-girl turned and looked at Grover as he recoiled at the exact same time. I guess he thought that she was gonna kick him like she had done to me. Which, by the way, OW. She gripped the hilt of her sword as if he just declared war on her (who in the name of the River Styx would do that?).

"We're going to Camp Half-Blood," she said nonchalantly as if she was ordering a pizza at Papa John's. She kept her hand on her sword as she turned back around. "And my name is Rukia."

"Wait! How do you know about Camp Half-Blood?" I asked trying to keep everything in perspective. This random chick had just saved me from this thing called a "hollow", now she talks about Camp Half-Blood like it was the most nonchalant thing to do. She just kept walking along as if I hadn't even brought up the question. I had to admit, she's determined. It's annoying, yet somewhat refreshing.

She stopped, pulled something out of her pocket that looked like a toy purse (that somehow looked like a duck), and pulled out a small pill-like tube. But instead of eating it, she dropped it into the ground.

"Stand back, please." she said as the strange tube rolled on the ground. After the pill stopped, she took her sword, turned it by the hilt so that the bottom of the sword faced upwards. Then she let go. And that's when the magic happened. The pill erupted into light growing into a gigantic sphere of light. It would have been a mirror-like portal if not for the fact that on the other side I could clearly see from above Camp Half-Blood; from the archers in the training field to Mrs. O'Leary playing in the sparring ring with other demigods.

Grover slowly walked towards the shining portal, his eyes fixed on the chili cheese dogs that were prepared for lunch. "Pretty" said Grover, his mouth drooling. I couldn't tell whether or not he was talking about the shining light or the chili cheese dogs. With Grover I can never really tell.

"Well," she started, "are you guys coming or not?" Grover had already begun entering the portal by the time I stepped forward.

I don't know why, but something about Camp Half-Blood was different. I couldn't put my finger on it but there was definitely something that had changed about it, maybe physically. There was just a certain level of distrust that I started to have for this girl. I know she saved my life, and I know I owe her a lot for it but I can't help but feel there's some ulterior motive deep inside. Regardless, I stepped inside the gaping portal.

I don't know if you have ever been inside a portal before but let me tell you: it is not fun. I didn't know if we were falling down, up, sideways, or in middle earth. All I remember doing is putting my hands out and yelling for the life of me. I do remember Rukia, though, looking calm as ever. Grover, on the other hand, I heard wailing somewhere beneath me screaming, "I just wanted chili cheese dogs!" Oh the priorities.

As soon as we had stepped into the portal, the ground became closer and closer. My first thought was "Well, I lived a good life, right?" my second thought was "Oh, snap, this is probably gonna hurt, huh?".

As soon as I thought I was going to turn into a human pancake, all of a sudden I was standing upright, my arms in front of my face as though I was preparing to get hit in the face with a tree branch.

Grover lay face down on the grass muttering to himself, "Oh sweet land. Sweet, sweet land." I couldn't blame him. I stood up trying to regain my sense of balance. You would think it to be somewhat easy after being thrown into a giant vortex of random flipping and spinning (yeah it's not easy, or fun). After regaining somewhat of my sense of balance, I figure it would be easier to find our sense of direction with Rukia, however I couldn't find her. The girl totally disappeared.

"Hey!" yelled a female voice, "are you coming or not?" Rukia calmly stood by a tree covered in dead leaves and dying branches. She swiftly pulled out her katana-like sword and put the butt of it on the trunk of the tree. It instantly glowed a blueish radiance that surrounded the tree and engulfed the surrounding forest in the same glow. How was she being so calm about this? She just turned half a forest into ghost trees! Then the trees disappeared and Camp Half-Blood slowly came into existence.

After every tree dissolving, the camp became much more apparent as if it was stuck in some sort of "tree limbo". Things became clearer as the trees started to disappear. The Camp looked the same, except for, you know, the fake trees everywhere. I even saw Annabeth walking with Rachel, the Camp's current Oracle. They looked as though nothing was happening. Like, "Oh, another forest disintegrating? Hey, let's get some tacos!".

"Are you ready?" Rukia asked.

Sure just send me into the Camp that just came from nonexistence. I'm sure I will have loads of fun. But, it is Camp Half-Blood so really what could go wrong, right? Wait...if it is Camp Half-Blood then that means something is always wrong. But since I lack all communication skills I just let out a "Yeah, let's go."

Grover was the first to enter Camp. He ran in like his hair was on fire trying to look for the nearest food. He just made do with a soda can that was dropped into a recycling container. We demigods are all about that nature saving jazz.

Rukia pulled out what looked like a flip phone, like the ones from the early 2000's, except it had this cute little pink bunny attached to the top. She flipped it open and dialed some number, waited for it to ring and said, "I'm back. I've brought Percy and the satyr with me...no there were no complications...yes, we were attacked...no it was at least an Epsilon from what I could gather...as you wish." She put her cell phone away and tucked it into her chest pocket somewhere in the robes she was wearing.

I couldn't help but feel a little bit confused. What the heck was an Epsilon? "So, what was that about?" I asked as she slowly walked towards the Big House. She walked up the steps and turned around looking serious with her hand gripped around the hilt of her sword.

"Please excuse my impatience, but the Captain needs to examine you for...evidence". The way she said "evidence" made me sound like a lab rat in some sort of experiment.

"Captain? Captain who? Is there a pirate in there?" I said trying to lighten the stress that was obviously apparent. Nobody could be this into their job without feeling the least bit of wanting to let go a bit. But she didn't give a single smile. No reaction. She just looked down briskly closing her eyes, only to look back up at me.

"You'll know when you meet him. But for now, please, try to cooperate with us." Us. More than one. I won't lie, I was a little bit sceptic and not to mention intimidated. I can't help but feel like my home is being invaded. Nonetheless, I walked into the Big House, Aka: where the Oracle likes (or used to like) to hang out in the attic to give death inducing quests.

At first I thought I walked into the land after time. Everywhere I looked there was some technological tubes and computers that lined the walls of the Big House.

"Please stay still," said a petite voice somewhere in the room. It was too dark and the only lights that I could make out were the ones coming from the computer monitors. Suddenly I felt a sharp jolt in the back of my left arm.

"OWW! What was th-" I turned around and I saw this amazingly attractive woman with a huge bun on her head. Her skirt was short and her figure was amazingly slim. Slim enough to be broken like a twig. I was surprised she could walk without having to take a breath.

What took me off guard was this huge needle that had (and I do not joke when I say this) at least a quart of my blood. I looked at my arm from where it hurt the most and there was barely a scratch.

"That will be sufficient. Thank you. Please find your way to the Captain."

Wait, wait, wait, how was I supposed to find my way to the Captain. Who was the captain?! Why am I still alive from getting a gallon of my blood taken out of my body?!

"Oh my, could you be any more loud and slow? Seriously, there are many other specimens I must see to." A slouched figure came out of a mysterious black door in the wall. He looked...interesting...-ly scary. His face was painted like a vertical zebra. Long streaks of black went down his face, but his teeth were a bright yellow. His eyes were an odd color of yellow too, but they were penetrating as if they saw into my deepest darkest fears. And he had this amazingly weird headgear. It looked as though it gave him a metallic yellow mane. The yellow crown wrapped to his chin, which made two protruding horns. He looked incredibly ridiculous, until, of course, he was directly looking into my face.

"Hmm," he examined, checking me from head to toe, "I guess you will have to do." Then, to top it off, he stuck out his tongue. I guess that's fair. No friends. No co-workers (except a creepy one minded girl). Might as well go crazy, right?

He walked toward a gigantic computer console with about a dozen different monitors and one huge keyboard. There were, like, three different keyboards attached into one, making one mega-super-ultra-keyboard. I wonder if they were sold on eBay? "Buy one get a mad scientist for free!"

He typed furiously on his mega-keyboard, and I could tell that he grew out one fingernail a bit too long. It was seriously probably a foot long. All of his fingernails were painted blue as if they had lost oxygen years ago. His eyes scanned the one huge monitor as he typed, both eyes seeming to go in different directions.

"My, my. This is very interesting. It seems you have come into contact with an Epsilon-Nu and barely managed to fight back. How absurd. If it hadn't had been for Miss Lieutenant Kuchiki I am afraid you would be crushed into dust. A pity, seeing how important you would have been to my research, I would have had fun dissecting you."

Was this guy seriously blaming me for not dying? And on top of that, he wanted to dissect me. Dissect me?! I remembered in school how there would be different days where we would dissect a frog. Just for fun I would destroy anything that looked like I could get the least amount of fun from breaking. At the end of the day Julian (that's what I named the test frog) looked like a sack of old moist potatoes and half eaten chicken. Was I his Julian?

"Run along now, or you'll get in the way of my research. I don't need any more unnecessary interruptions." The way he said "unnecessary" annoyed me. I knew he was talking about me, but it still felt as if my existence was just that to him - unnecessary. He started furiously typing away not giving me a second glance. I made my way back towards what I thought was the entrance.

"Ah! One last thing," the creepy Captain yelled behind me. I looked back and saw that he was still typing, no focus away from that weird flat screen monitor.

"You must go and check in with Captain Kuchiki by the Dining Pavilion, if you would please? There you will get all the information you need in order to fully comprehend, if there is such a thing for you, on what's going on."

I blankly stared at him until I fully processed what he just said. Didn't he just tell me that the girl that saved me was a "Lieutenant"? Did she get a promotion? A huge, gold star, oh-you-saved-the-life-of-a-demigod-hoo-rah promotion?

"Fine. I will..." I hesitated to walk just in case he would call me over again to tell me some other things I found confusing. I made my way to the door (if this was a door anymore), and opened it. I step back out into the sunlight, putting my arms over my eyes. I didn't know how long I was in there, but it felt like I had just spent my time under a rock for several years and had just now seen daylight.

"Nemu! Shut that door! You're letting the light in!" And with that high pitched squeal of a command, the door shut behind me. What happened behind that door I didn't really want to know. Two minutes could pass by and I wouldn't be surprised if he invented an atomic bomb.

I closed my eyes and started walking, trying to grab my position in the world again. I, apparently, had trouble fighting what was probably the weakest enemy known to these "people". My heroism was slightly falling by the minute. Maybe if I would just-

"-Oomph!" I walked face first into a wall, my nose hurting like a madman. I started to wipe my nose and eyes to regain my balance. Hopefully there wasn't a mark on the wall. The next thing I needed was to vandalize a Greek structure.

"Hey, you," wait...did the wall just talk? "Did you not see me walkin' here? Who the hell are you, pipsqueak?"

I opened my eyes just a little to see if I was dreaming. I mean, a wall doesn't talk (or curse).

I looked up to see what I had hit. And the next thing I said, I said without thinking. Which, now that I think about it, could have been avoided if I had been more careful. As soon as I said it, I could instantly see that my death was unavoidable. This "man-beast" was going to hunt me down to the ends of the earth just to desecrate my lifeless body.

Two words. Two simple stupid words. I looked up, looked over the guy's head and told him, without stuttering: "You're bald".

I am so sorry for this taking so long to get up (and it's the second chapter too, so bleh to me), but I promise to make this series somewhat weekly. I have a lot more time on my hands and I plan to see this through to the end. Please comment, favorite, and share with your peers. Thanks for staying this long!

\(^-^)/