The air whipped around him as he ran, smooth and sure, through the forest near his home, but he was fuming. What was he thinking?! How could he? When had he started thinking of Bella as more than just his soft, new little sister? As more than just Edward's new love? When had that happened?! He thought back. Had it been one of her accidents? Had an overwhelming need to protect her morphed in to this feelings? He snorted. No. She was very well protected, Edward saw to that. As protected as she could be, given she was prone to accidents and close to fearless. It seemed impossible that the little girl wasn't afraid of anything, when almost everything seemed to hurt her. Wrapping paper had almost been her demise! Wrapping paper!
He threw his head back and laughed. She sure was something. But the laugh died in his throat when he thought of the after effects of that night. They'd left her. They'd left her and she'd ended up in the care of dogs, and she'd almost died. Though the rest of the family couldn't see why she'd wanted to be with the shapeshifters in the first place, he saw it clear as day. They gave her what she needed, what Edward was afraid to give her, and what Emmett saw that she craved: contact.
Being as they were, he was sure, without having to see it, that they'd swept her up in bone crushing hugs, all of them, not just the one that was in love with her. They'd slung arms across her shoulders and stroked her face when they were worried. They'd touched her. Maybe it was just a stupid, human belief that he'd brought with him to his new life, but Emmett believed people needed to be touched. He hated that Edward never touched her like she wanted. You could tell she wanted him to. She stayed so close to him, like she was hoping that maybe he'd reach out, forgetting his strength for jut a moment, and hold her a little closer than he normally did. And why didn't he? She'd ran with wolves, surely she was used to a little excessive force.
He stopped. Shook his head, disgusted with himself for a moment. Visions of Rose filled his head. She'd looked so sad. Almost sadder than he'd ever seen her. Almost. He'd seen the moments when she'd been broken. Moments where she'd stir from her dark memories and sob endlessly against his chest. And in those moments he'd held her, rocked her, let her shudder and scream until she was okay again. He was a rock for Rosalie. No matter what storms she blew in his direction, he held, and did so with a smile. She needed him.
She'd needed him tonight. And he'd left. He'd never hear the end of it. He knew she'd be waiting on the bed when he got back. Staring at the covers, refusing to look at him. He'd deserve every curse he got, every scream she could give him. He'd have to shield his thoughts from Edward as well. That'd be hard. It was hard for him to shield his thoughts at all. He didn't have much of a filter. Pretty much everything he thought, he said. For this reason, Edward never focused on reading his mind, which might give him a little bit of space to work out his confusion. He didn't love Bella Swan. He loved his Rosalie. However, he did want her. He wanted her almost unbearably, and he needed to get that under control.
A wicked grin crossed his face. He knew just what he could do. He turned around, running back for his house. It was time to make up with Rosalie.
She heard him in the trees before he'd gotten to the house. She couldn't let him see her this way. Hair disheveled, paler than usual she was sure. No, he couldn't see her this way. Rosalie straightened and hurried back to the vanity. In a move that was very uncharacteristic of her, she only brushed her hair out slightly before lying back in the bed, where Emmett had been before, staring at the ceiling. If she'd had a living heart, she was sure it would be breaking at the sounds of Esme and Carlisle in their room, giggling, caressing. She wanted to be sick. Vanity was her most prominent trait. If she couldn't be happy, why should anybody? She shook the thought from her head vehemently. If anyone deserved the happiness that she couldn't grasp, it was Carlisle and Esme. They'd been perfect to her. They'd put up with her screams, they'd talked with her through her colder nights and, more than anything, that'd given her Emmett.
As if on cue, he walked into their bedroom then, crossing over to her quickly, laying beside her on the bed. They lay silently for a moment, and as she took in a breath to speak, he cut her off. "Go ahead Rosie, do your worst. The louder you scream, the better the make up sex will be." He shrugged, grinning idiotically as he normally did, and she froze. It took her almost a full minute to remember what she'd been ready to say in the first place, and by the time she recalled, she realized it didn't fit the anger that coursed through her now. A new anger was in her veins. Venom pooled in her mouth, but she swallowed it. She took another unneeded breath.
"Like I could have sex with you now," she spat. "I will not be your replacement for her, Emmett. I won't be your Bella." She rolled, turning her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her.
"No, you won't. You'll be my Rosie. My fiery, feisty, downright mean Rosie. Thats what I want. I want you Rosalie." He whispered in her ear. She softened against him, sighed slowly, and guilt for the lie coursed through him like fresh fire. He would be imagining Bella when he made love to her. He'd be wishing her hair were brown, wishing her skin were warmer, wishing her cheeks would turn red from the exertion. He'd be hearing the soft mewls he imagined would come from Bella, and not the throaty cries that always came from Rosalie. But the lie was what she needed, so the lie was what he gave her. He always gave Rosalie exactly what she needed.
He lowered his lips to her throat, sucking on the soft skin he found there, while his hand trailed up her side. Needing better access, he rolled her onto her back, kissing her lips gently, as if trying to gauge her reaction. He parted her robe, letting his hands explore her body. He was just starting to get into it when she spoke.
"I don't want this." She informed him, but her nipples were hardening, her breath coming ragged. He laughed into her skin. "Yes you do, Rosie," he assured her, as his mouth continued its dangerous path down her stomach, to her pelvis, pausing to kiss her hips on both sides as they thrust into the air above them. But she held firm.
"No, I don't. You're still thinking of her. I know you are. I don't want to be with you while you're thinking of her." She mumbled. He looked up at her. Hurt, again. He'd hurt her. He didn't know how. He was doing everything in his power not to think of Bella. Not that it was working, but he didn't think it was showing through.
One mention of her name in his mind was all it took though, and he was off. He looked off into the distance, for what he thought was just a moment, thinking of how different this night would be if Bella was in Rosalie's place.
Rosalie watched in horror as his eyes glazed over and he stared off into space. Hands on her hips, on his wife's hips, and he was still thinking of Bella Swan! She hadn't seriously thought he was thinking of her, she'd just needed to be reassured one more time before she gave herself over to the pleasure he was giving her.
But his face, his face proved to her that she wasn't the one he wished was moving under him now. That the scent of her arousal was not what he wished he was smelling. The thought of him replacing her with someone else, of wishing someone else was sharing this passion with him threatened to break her long dead heart. It made her feel almost as violated as that night in the alley, dim in her memory, yet still painful. She took a breath, and responded with a strength she didn't have that night. She pushed him off her as hard as she could.
Bella jolted awake, the sound of crashing glass dragging her out of her slumber. She felt Edward tense beside her. Given the tumultuous danger her life included now, she went into a small panic. "What is it? What's wrong?" She asked Edward, words flying from her mouth in a frenzy. He stroked her arms and tried to soothe her.
"Its nothing, Bella love. Rosalie and Emmett are having a fight. I wish they'd have waited till morning to start breaking things." He muttered this last rather darkly. "You were sleeping so well." A smile played about his lips as he thought of her confessing her love for him in her dreams. Even though he'd heard it thousands of times, it stilled warmed him a little more when she said it in her slumber, like she meant it a little more then. How had he ever left her?
Snapping back to their current situation, he realized she was still tense. A crowd was forming at the door of Emmett and Rosalie's room. He tried reading some thoughts, but no one seemed to know what was going on really, and he couldn't get passed Rosalie's mental shouts of: How dare he! How DARE he?!
Edward chuckled at a thought he picked up from Esme. "I'm sure Rosalie's more upset with herself than anyone else, she pushed him into her vanity. Its completely ruined now." His smile widened at the picture of Emmett sitting on the floor of their room, looking bewildered. Bella was drifting back towards sleep.
"You should go down," she suggested dreamily. "They all listen to you, even Rose. You should help them work it out...." she trailed off, returning to her world of dreams. And even though she'd never know whether he'd done it or not, he couldn't deny her. He left the bed quietly, and padded down the stairs to see what the commotion was about.
Emmett sat on the floor, battling a strange emotion that he could only describe as fear. He wasn't embarrassed. He and Rose had fought before, had broken things before. Shit, they'd leveled entire houses before. But a decision Rose had apparently made, and the emotions of betrayal and hurt and jealousy and shame swirling around the room had Jasper and Alice standing at the doorway, looking at them nervously. He knew Jasper knew what he was feeling, and he knew Alice knew what this night would do to the future, but they still didn't know why. He had to get out of here before they knew why.
Esme and Carlisle joined Jasper and Alice and the doorway of the room. Emmett tensed again. Before he'd come along, Esme had been the one Rose cried to, and he was sure she'd do it this time. He had to get out of here before she could tell anyone. If Edward found out......Edward! He was padding down the stairs now. He had to leave. He had to leave Edward found his thoughts of Bella. He had to leave until he didn't think these things anymore. Alice gasped almost silently as this decision was made, looked at him pleadingly.
As he rose, he could faintly hear Esme whispering "Oh Rose, your poor vanity..." No one really noticed when he walked towards them. Alice squeezed his arm once as he pushed by them all. He was out of the house before Edward made it to the bottom of the stairs.
He stopped once, outside, looking at the window where Bella slept, hands almost burning to touch her just once, knowing he never could. He knew he'd be gone for a long time, trying to get over Bella. He shook his head slowly, sadly, and then he ran.