A/N: Hi guys! A new chapter for you all! :D On the subject of ff deleting MA rated stories... No worries, we got all of our stories backed up and if it happens that they get deleted on here, we'll make sure that we upload them elsewhere so you guys can read them all still :) For now though, enjoy this chapter!
Cloud
After having come back to the living, I'd been forced to come to terms with the fact that it had not been a nightmare. I was in fact, trapped in Leonhart's body. Fucking awesome. It had then taken me fifteen minutes to locate his car keys, which, happened to be neatly hooked beside the front door, but how was I supposed to know? Normal people tossed them on their coffee table. Of course he didn't have one!
I might have speeded a little, as a reflex type reaction to the anger and fright I was feeling all at once. Ran a red light too... But, I'd made it in one piece to the office, and I figured that was my best option of locating Leon. Or Cloud. Leon in Cloud's body. My body. He better be careful with it!
Storming out of the elevator once it reached the architect floor, I pushed open the door, my co-workers staring at me strangely, which, almost surprised me until I reminded myself once again that I was not me. Or I was me, but in Leon's body, and Leon did not come to work through this elevator, but his own. Which was in the back. Shit. Oh well.
I wondered if I should greet the people in their cubicles, but then figured, why the hell would I bother? I was Leon in their eyes and it was known fact Leon didn't bother with greetings. So, I stormed across the office, hesitating in front of Larxene's door, realizing that I didn't need to go through there as this body was the owner of the boss' office.
Taking a left, I marched over to the next door, rammed my way through and then slammed it shut behind me all the while hearing whispered conversations take place by my co-workers. Leon's employees. What the fuck ever. Lifting my eyes off the ground, I sighed when I saw my body. In tact. So the hair could use a little work, but I suppose it wasn't too horrible either.
"Oh no... Not that shirt with those pants..." I muttered, scanning him over.
"Fuck. You. Strife." Came my own voice, and I was amazed at how I could see Leonhart in my eyes, glaring out at me. He gave me a once over, grimacing at me as though I, er, he was painful to look at. "What the fuck is going on? Why...why are we?" He clearly couldn't say it, instead using his hand to frantically gesture between us.
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms, "You're the one that got the promotion. You figure it out, genius." I couldn't stop it. When it came to Leon? I just always, always, had to make a nasty comment. It was almost without brain permission. "Okay!" I shouted out, lifting my hands so I could stop him from getting too angry, which I knew he would, because I was. He? Never mind.
I knew that grit in the jaw line there, because that was the one that appeared when I got angry. "Sorry! Just. Calm the fuck down!" I breathed in sharply, letting this body slide down the door so I could sit on the ground. "I should calm down. I don't know why." I muttered.
"Maybe I could calm the fuck down, if I wasn't wearing the skin of the worlds most contrary employee! It's like, some kind of fucking joke!" Covering his, er, my face with his hands he dropped to the ground opposite me, leaning his head back against the wall and sighing. "I think I'm going to throw up." He murmured.
"That's okay," I waved a hand flippantly his way, "I fainted."
He blinked. "What? Really? You...you did?"
I snorted, "Well, yeah..." I gestured at his body I was currently wearing. "I thought I'd gotten drunk, laid, and woken up in my one night stand's bed. When I realized I had in fact landed in your body-" I frowned, "Which, by the way, it's really weird to hear me talk with your voice." I shook my head, "It was shocking, alright? I'm not a weak guy... I just don't deal well with surprises." I let this head drop against the door. "Ugh... I'd actually put up with Seifer's wrath rather than this."
"Um, yeah. What the fuck was up with that? You live together? Dude." He gave me a disbelieving look. "Why?"
"Don't dude me, boss." I went on the defensive. Like I always did when it came to Seifer. "Roommates at first and now we're-" I shrugged, "I don't know. Boyfriends? Not even that since he doesn't want to be exclusive even though I do. Or not." My head was starting to hurt. Or Leon's was. "It's complicated, alright? He wanted to be with me and well, apparently I tolerate that." I saw him open my mouth, but was glad to see Larxene walk in.
"Assistant!" I stumbled up onto my feet, "Yes! You're my assistant who's right on time!"
She smiled at me in Leonhart's body, "Hello, Mister Strife."
I blinked at her, then at Leon, "No way..."
"Larxene?" He lunged to his feet, tripping as he clearly wasn't used to my body yet. "What, what did you do?" His voice wasn't loud, but it was that sort of scary whisper shout that warned you about the impending explosion.
Larxene shrugged, "I gave you some tea that would allow you to switch bodies and ultimately? Understand each other a little better."
"Oh no!" I growled out, waving a stern finger at her, "Listen here, missy, you switch us back right. Fucking. Now!"
She laughed, "I can't do that."
"Leonhart! Do something!" I begged.
"You're fired." Leon spat out, crossing his arms and trying to look stern. I think the effect was lost when in my body.
Larxene was even more amused now, "Keep your voice down, Cloud, you too, Leon. People outside now believe Leon asked Cloud to do something, and Cloud just fired me." She grinned, "Which means I'm not actually fired."
I narrowed my eyes, "If I don't fire you..." I whispered, "will you switch us back?"
"I told you, I can't do that."
"Come on, Leon," I patted myself on the shoulder, "Let's go jump off the building and die. Clearly that's our only solution!" I growled out the last.
"Fuck that! I'll shave your entire body bald next time you threaten that!" Leon whispered, making a point to grab my hair in his fist. He took a step closer so he could continue to talk, but not be heard.
I groaned, "I didn't fucking threaten a thing! I was making a dramatic observation as assistant hocus pocus won't help squat, dumbass!" I shouted at my body.
"Keep your fucking voice down, you idiot!" He waved his arms at me, whispering louder. Turning to Larxene he said, "What do we have to do to get out of this?" Pleading now, he shivered and looked like he really would be sick.
I'd punch him. But that was my face. "Larxene. Solution. Now." I clipped out.
She sighed heavily, "There's only one way to get you switched back." She started, peaking both our interests. "You have to say one phrase to one another, and mean it."
"Well? What is it?" Leon growled out impatiently.
"I shall torture you no longer." Larxene said, stopping there even though I momentarily wondered if there was more.
"That's it?" I asked, and she nodded.
"And you have to mean it, or else it won't work."
I turned towards Leon inside of me, "I shall torture you no longer." I said in my most sincere voice, or Leon's apparently.
"Work on that." Larxene suggested, turning so she could leave us alone.
"I shall torture you no longer!" Leon said, my voice sounding absolutely desperate to my own ears. "I meant it!"
"No you didn't!" I knew because I was still trapped in this godforsaken body! "What are we going to do?"
"You're asking me? Why? Because I'm obviously more mature, or because she's my assistant? I can't control her!"
My eyebrows shot up, "Seriously? Going below the belt now?" I scanned him over and then grinned, "Get the fuck out of my office."
His jaw dropped. It was a priceless look, even though it was on my face. "Excuse me? You did not just say that, you dick." Tch tch, Leonhart. He obviously had a swearing problem when under duress.
"Now, now, Mister Strife..." This could actually become a lot of fun... "Don't make a scene... And if you are, then at least let me open the door so the others can witness." Walking over to said door, I pulled it wide open, smiling practically as wide, and then gestured for him to get out. "Be nice with my body, or else I'll make sure your promotion won't last."
That shut him up and the glare he sent me was positively murderous. "Yes, sir. I'll be sure to be on my best behavior." He swept past me with a muttered, 'dick' inaudible to everyone else.
Leon - later that evening
I grinned in satisfaction as I drove away from the office, the way to Cloud's already memorized in my head. The day had been spent going through Cloud's desk, cleaning it so someone could actually work in it, then I'd gotten to actually draw something worthwhile instead of just checking something already drawn. It had been almost tolerable despite Cloud being a dick and choosing me to run every menial task in the office. Copies, deliveries. Cid had raised his eyebrows at me and I'd only been able to shrug, having no idea how to interact with the guy.
My grin faded as I remembered that instead of my empty house that I'd be going home to, I'd actually have to go to a shared apartment with Seifer. Who had been surprisingly cold towards me, er Cloud. But Cloud had said something about a relationship with him...I shook my head. The way Seifer had acted this morning had been kind of odd for that kind of thing.
Parking, I made my way inside the apartment, looking for a place to hang my keys for a few seconds, before rolling my eyes and leaving them in my pocket. At least I could find them there. Where the hell were you supposed to put your keys if not hanging by the door?
"Hello? Anybody home?" Please, dear lord, say no. I'd been the last to leave, obviously as Cloud had given me a brief rundown of everything as I had him. Heaven help him if he drank my good beer.
"I'm here." Shit. Appearing from the door that led to the hallway that led to the doors of the bedrooms and bathroom, Seifer raised an eyebrow at me. "What was up with you and bossypants this morning?" Bossypants? "Nevermind, I don't even care. I'm going out." He grabbed his keys from the coffee table, halting in his steps as he frowned at me, "What? You're not going to chew me out for it? No complaints? No righteous preaching on the fact that we're supposed to be together, not sharing ourselves with other people, blah, blah, blah?"
Oh, he did not just say that to me, er Cloud. I grit my teeth, suddenly feeling an overwhelming desire to kick this guy's ass for the way he treated Cloud. No one deserved this sort of behavior and if Cloud needed help to get past it? Then Merry fucking Christmas to him.
"Fuck you, Seifer." I said, as cheerfully as I could manage. My smile was probably forced, but I doubted he could tell the difference. Cloud had a pretty blinding smile. "How about you take your pretend care and shove it up your ass?" I turned the smile into a smirk, as I walked past him. "Cause you'll never get another shot at this one."
I heard him sigh heavily, "Fucking finally!" He walked calmly over to the door, "Took you forever to dump my ass." He shut the door, leaving me alone in the apartment.
"Aaaand, Cloud needs to move out." I said. I could share that with him when I saw him tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow...Cloud may have had an unfortunate relationship with the worlds largest asshole, but he'd still been a dick to me today and I wasn't going to take this lying down. Pulling the box of hair dye I'd picked up during lunch out of my pocket, I smirked. Hope he liked lilacs.
Cloud - The next day
Sitting in Leon's really comfortable leather chair, I almost felt myself doze off, which, yes, wasn't very good, but at the same time, it was five thirty in the morning, so... Give me a break. What kicked me out of that state was Leon's cellphone ringing. Sitting up, I grabbed it off the wooden desk, yawning before picking up and adopting my most professional tone.
"Mister Seymour." I greeted. He'd called at the crack of dawn, telling Leonhart he needed to come in right away. So, here I was. Why? No idea.
"I am sorry, Mister Leonhart, turns out the client has moved the appointment to a later time today." He wasn't sorry at all! Shoving myself up and out of the chair, I glared across the room. "I do apologize for the inconvenience." Did this happen often? Seymour pulling a prank on Leon? Cause that wasn't nice. Clearly Leonhart wasn't the only one suffering from a superiority problem.
I cleared my throat, or Leon's, "I accept the apology, Sir, but I kindly ask you confirm with the client before waking me at five in the morning next time."
"You are?" He sounded surprised.
"I am. If this displeases you, I'm sure I can find some sort of rule in working environment protocol that confirms you cannot do this." Take that, big boss on the upper floor!
"Good day, Mister Leonhart." That's right, suck on it.
"To you as well, Mister Seymour." Click. Exhaling, I sat back down in the comfortable chair, letting in spin on itself as that was just really fun. I was interrupted though when I saw Larxene flash in my spinning view, a smirk on her face. Grabbing the desk edge, I gave her a sheepish look.
"I didn't call you in."
"That is his work phone. All calls are re-directed to mine so I may keep up to date with everything work related in case Leon forgets." Cool, a real life post-it.
Then I winced, "I didn't overstep, did I? Just..."
"You didn't. Leon is a tough guy, but when it comes to his superior? He tends to let himself be walked over, in fear of loosing his job."
"So there is a rule?" She nodded, reassuring me that I had remembered that right. Thank god... "So, ehm, Larxene..." I started, waving at the pile of paperwork on the desk. "Wanna help me out?"
She shook her head, "No. You'll have to ask Leon to help you."
"Do I?" I whined. I didn't like admitting defeat. Although I suppose I didn't really have a choice since I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to do with all of this. I missed my drawing table...
"You do." And then Larxene left again. Sighing heavily, I slumped back in the chair and decided to take a quick nap before everyone else would get in. Not like I could figure out without some guidance how to work all these papers.
Pacing Leon's office, I peaked through the small opening I'd left in the door from time to time, seeing Hayner already at work, Vincent seated in his cubicle, Cid chatting with Yuffie... But where was Leon with my body?
"Holy baby jesus!" I heard Cid exclaim, leading me to frown and quickly rush over to the door so I could see what was going on. "Cotton candy? What in the devil came over you?" That wasn't good... Stepping out of the office, I shuffled down the hallway, fearing what I might see. And I was right to do so, because there sat Leon, in my body, in my cubicle, smiling like a satisfied idiot as he ignored the people staring at... my lilac colored hair.
"Le-" No. "Cloud Strife!" I rushed across the room to reach the cubicle, opening my mouth to make my comment, but momentarily distracted as I realized the neat freak had organized my fucking work space. Anyway, back to the current issue. "What!" I grabbed my head, "Did you do to m- your hair?" I shrieked as best as Leon's voice could allow. "Are you insane?" I threaded my fingers through it, sadness overcoming me as I looked at my ruined, no-longer golden, locks.
His face was innocent and he shrugged. "What? You don't like lilacs? I thought it was lovely." Oh, he was being so smug about this. My hair was a soft looking purple, with uneven patches telling me he'd probably dyed it himself instead of doing it someplace professionally. I'd be lucky if it didn't fall out because of this.
"Oh don't do that!" I propped my hands on my hips, "I know that look, I use it all the time to get out of stuff. Won't work on me buddy, nosiree. Cloud!" I snapped, grabbing his/my chin, "No smirking. This is not funny!" I let go off his/my face. "You..." I growled, "You'll pay." I swore, glaring at him, which was then interrupted when Hayner cleared his throat, leading me to realize the entire office was staring at this scene with dropped jaws. Right, this wasn't a normal thing to happen between me and Leon. Or, ever with anyone, I guess.
"Whatcha looking at?" I shouted, "Get back to work, you lazy ass pansies!" And then I stormed back to Leon's office.
Leon - The next morning
I'd grown slightly accustomed to waking up in Cloud's room, but I did miss my giant bed and privacy. But somehow, his bed had really comfortable sheets that felt fantastic against my skin. Why did Cloud insist on sleeping in those horrible pajamas? After somehow dismantling that annoying alarm clock of his, I'd been able to wake up in a slightly better mood than the other day. Although, I wouldn't take back the look on his face when he saw his hair for anything. Revenge was sweet, and I still couldn't stop the smirking whenever I looked in the mirror. Maybe I'd go with a baby pink next time. Depending on if he screwed up my job or not.
I'd managed not to draw too much attention to myself from the others after that display from Cloud yesterday, although Hayner seemed to be suspecting something. He was sharp, but seemed easily distracted as well. No matter. I threw on a pair of pants over my boxers and went out into the kitchen to find some breakfast, annoyed when I realized Seifer was in there as well. One word, and I'd probably deck his ass. If this had been my apartment, I would have kicked him out first thing, but I'd been pissed to learn that Cloud was the roommate, not the owner. I'd, or rather he'd be homeless if I decided to move out. Didn't mean I had to take Seifer's shit if he started it.
I ignored him as I grabbed a bowl and some cereal, snagging the milk from where it was resting on the counter next to him.
"Since when do you eat cereal?" He muttered. "Chocolate ones at that. Weren't you the one that told me 'a moment on the lips, forever on the hips'?" He snorted. "You are the epitome of gay, Cloud."
I swallowed, not wanting to waste the cereal by spitting it in his face. Doing an exaggerated look at his body, which didn't excite me one bit, I smirked. "I was trying to prove a point, hippo hips. Been skipping the gym lately? It's showing."
His eyebrows shot up, "What the fuck is up with you lately? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you've finally found the location of your back bone, but don't shove a stick up your ass either. Wouldn't want to be like bossypants." He snickered, taking his mug of coffee before seating himself on the couch not to far from the kitchen area. "Although it seems he's finally let loose some."
"Maybe I'm tired of being treated like shit by you. And I, er, Leon, doesn't have a stick up his ass. I'd be surprised if he wasn't just tired of dealing with all the same old shit from you guys."
Seifer made a disbelieving sound, "Okay, look, Cloud, I know we've never really gotten along. Ever since you moved into the room we've been at odds, then everything turned to hell when I decided sleeping with you would be a good idea and, you know, sex with you wasn't that great to begin with. Doesn't matter. Point being, if there is one thing we always agreed on? It was Leon's superiority issues. The guy ignores us, speaks only when he needs something and he'd not even give us his trust were his life to depend on that." Seifer shrugged, "You step outta line by going up against him, but if there is one thing I always appreciated in you? It's that you didn't let his brooding demeanor kick you down."
I was really trying hard not to just let loose and kick his ass, but everything about him rubbed me the wrong way. His entire presence here was driving my blood pressure through the roof. Gulping my milk, I vowed to start looking for new places today. Another morning with him was going to send me over the edge.
Gulping the rage, I channeled what I could into my next words. "And yet, I've managed with your demeaning behavior for so long. Huh. Must mean you're closer to fucking Leonhart than you care to admit, Seifer. Too bad that both of us hating him isn't enough to make you even marginally tolerable anymore. Fuck off." I finished my milk, and without waiting for a response I went to grab some clothes to get ready for a shower. Cloud would thank me in the end.
Seifer's words followed me all the way to work, and I hated how much I could feel them poking me. So, I was demeaning and Cloud and him shared a great dislike for me? Well, I'd known Cloud wasn't my biggest fan, but the fact that he'd actually bonded with that asshole over it, was just...fucked up. I hated the sympathy I was feeling for the guy, and I resolved that he'd get pink hair next week for being stupid enough to fuck with Seifer. But...I was still finding him another apartment. That was for me though.
I walked to my desk, smirking as everyone was still staring at my hair, not yet used to it. Yeah, it was permanent, so enjoy it as long as you want. Settling in comfortably, I glanced to my office, wondering if Cloud was going to be on time today, or if he was going to be late to spite me. He wasn't though, I knew from the following sounds and it told me that I might have preferred him to call in sick entirely today.
"Clo- Mister Leonhart, don't, you'll regret it." I heard Larxene from her office, her door almost opening, but then slamming shut.
"No, no, you got it all wrong. This is to show Cloud he must regret his actions." The door then did open, and Cloud walked out in my body. My body that was dressed in Hawaiian boxers only. And shoes. Dress shoes, socks and boxers. But nothing else.
"Good morning, dear employees of mine!" He smiled brightly. My jaw did more than drop. It scraped the floor, pulling up the cheap carpet with it. Hayner's must have followed because I could hear him stuttering, and floudering with his words, causing me to flush as I knew he was gay. I wasn't self conscious about my body, but what the fuck Cloud? There was a beat of silence before everyone chimed in with everything from cat calls, to manic giggling and the sound of a camera phone.
"Fuck!" Bolting into action, I lept out of my cubicle, grabbed Cloud, er, my body by the shoulders and dragged him to the closest door, the conference room. Stuffing him inside, I shut the door, pointing a glare in his direction. The bright smile was still plastered on his face, and then instead of explaining or doing anything useful he went, "Aloha oye! Aloha oye" Aaaand then he was wiggling my hips, doing the retarded version of a Hawaiian dance. While the others outside the room couldn't see the dance, I'm pretty sure they'd heard the airport greeting song as he wasn't keeping his voice down.
I slapped a hand over his mouth, and grabbed his wrist, pushing on a tender spot beneath the wrist bone, knowing the pain would get his attention. I'm not sure how effective I could glare or be menacing in Cloud's body, but I was giving it my best shot. "You have exactly ten seconds to assure me you brought a full set of clothes, or believe me, purple hair will be the least of your worries."
He blinked at me, "It's casual attire to work day..." A pause, "Didn't you get the memo? I'm sure I gave it to Larxene."
"I moved out of your apartment and let Seifer know he can go elsewhere for any ass tapping." I wanted him to get mad, give me a reason to ignore that what he had just said may have been poetic justice. No, Leon. Must not admire his below the belt revenge. Must get him to remind you why you find him insufferable.
Instead of anger flashing through his eyes though, I saw both a hint of fear and maybe some sadness. "Leon... I was just pranking around, I would have never done anything that would cause serious damage in your life." I saw him swallow, "I brought extra clothing and made sure Seymour wouldn't find out about this stunt. I was actually going to ask you for help when it came to your job because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and I don't want to get you fired." I don't think I'd ever heard Cloud speak seriously to me, not in that numb tone anyway. "You moved me out and broke up my relationship? Why would you do such things without at least talking to me about it?"
His hurt tone was...uncomfortable. But I knew what I was doing. "Cloud. You know it wasn't a relationship. Seifer, he...doesn't deserve you. He's such a bastard to you and you know it." And I knew he knew it as well. That was something I was certain of. I took a small step back, but was still close enough to look him dead in the eye. "He was more than happy to end it, and that should tell you something. I am sorry, but you're better than him." I felt I should be more honest with him, but if he thought that I'd already moved, then he wouldn't be tempted to stay.
And now there was anger, "I am? How the fuck would you know?" He whisper shouted, making sure the others outside wouldn't hear, "You stopped giving a crap about my ass the moment you got that promotion, remember?" Huffing, he turned around, crossing his arms and breaking eye contact. "You had no right messing with stuff that doesn't concern you. Don't pretend to care when you don't. My fucked up get togethers with Seifer were my problem, and mine to deal with, yet you swoop in and try and righten it all?" Turning back around, I saw him grimace, "Thank you for doing what I couldn't do, but again, you had no right." Giving me a nod, he then started making his way to the exit of the conference room that would allow him to avoid the cubicle area and instantly retreat in my office.
I grabbed his arm, stopping his leaving for a moment. "How can I stop messing with things when I'm stuck in your goddamned body?" My voice was quiet, and I hated having to explain or justify my behavior in any way, I always had. "And I knew you wouldn't get me fired. I had no problem thinking you could handle my job and you're fucking welcome to it." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my tone, hating to admit that the promotion that I'd worked so hard for, was anything I'd actually hoped for. "I'll help you, but you'd be surprised at how much it's just grunt work. Fuck, Cid could probably handle that shit." It shouldn't have been a secret, but I hadn't felt useful in a long while. How could I, when everything was being done by everyone else and all I managed to do was push the paper?
"I don't want your job." He clipped out, "I've never wanted it. It's just the way you handle us as your employees that pisses me the fuck off. And the fact that whatever friendship we used to have before you got the leather chair, vanished the moment you received the title." He shrugged himself out of my hold, "Now go back to my cubicle before people start creating rumors. I'm going to put on some clothes and ask Larxene to help me figure out the paperwork." He muttered, very intent on ending the conversation right there as he slipped passed the door to quickly retreat in my office.
I stared after him, hating everything about this day and especially hating Larxene. So not only did I hate my job, my employees hated me for doing my job. But more than anything right at this very moment, I hated that Cloud was making me see it all so clearly right in front of my face. Stalking out of the conference room, I ignored the astonished looks of everyone else, Hayner's look of sympathy, I didn't even pause before heading back outside to Cloud's car. Cloud has sick days, and I was going to use one.